Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hello Aries, You are correct - Having lived there for five years, with my Thai Wife, I can confirm, how reasonable it is to live there. I did have a house built there, by my Wife (She organised and supervised) but SHE owned the land. - I could own the property, but never own the land. - No problem - we gave it to her daughter, she sold it - and if and when we return, she will buy one for us.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hello Black Swan , Getting a visa, is fine - On initially landing, you automatically get a 30 day Visa. You can never own land. So you need , say a 30 year Lease, then build what you wish.. If you are , say older, then you can obtain a Non-O Retirement Visa - Renewable Annually. Do look-up Thailand Embassy website. Very straightforward....Will be doing that, should we return. Take Care, Don

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Yes. It is hard to pinpoint sometimes I feel. Perhaps it is that despite our very best efforts and willingness , our roots here have not grown.

We do have pals here but again, that all depends on what is viewed as a friendship as opposed to an acquaintance or someone you know that is friendly.
My husband is a plumber/gasfitter and so many people here like to be our friend. :sneaky:

I feel as if I retired to an aged community early. It's all veg gardens , knitting and rather staid past-times. For me it is all very dull.

I've done my aged time. I'd like to live a life for a bit whilst I still can.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

That's tricky, BEVS. In adult life real friends get harder and harder to make, as well...it does sound staid, where you are....yet the upheaval of a move is also a deterrent, I am sure.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

yes we have "acquaintances" but no REAL friends. I often feel that I belong in the middle of the atlantic ocean, neither a UK person nor Canadian. I went back to see my Dad in May which was nice. My main observation was the sheer volume of traffic and how long it now takes to get anywhere in the UK. Hubby and I will keep an open mind and see what pans out I think.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Urban UK is misery. Every time I go to Glasgow or Edinburgh I vow NEVER AGAIN !

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

We are wanting to move down to SW Dorset or Devon to get more peace and quiet but cannot sell house. Monday will be giving agents notice to pull the listing for the winter!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Oh no, how disappointing

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

From the first listing day to mid summer we did get an offer and it was £31000 less than listing price! That fell through and we reduced price twice and got not a single new viewing. It is just the times we live in closer to London! Just come back from Dawlish and we loved the small town! I felt sad leaving Devon. Oh well there is next year again!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

I see you're based in South Bucks, and am idly wondering whereabouts. Our son was born in High Wycombe forty-odd years ago, in "The Shrubbery". My wife was heavily pregnant when we entered England that Easter, and we rented a farmhouse at Cadmore End for a few months. (Chosen at random from "The Lady"; we had no local connections.) All I remember about the place is the snow (!), besides the birth, of course. The son has been a rabid Wycombe Wanderers supporter since his early teens, although the only time he's lived in England was at a boarding school up north. It's a nice part of the world - though maybe not in High Wycombe itself!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Best wishes to you also.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

trottytrue how wonderful to see you again here after all this time! Yes, it was a shame about Jasper, his Mum of course was very old and they had a good few years together since he came home, which he was so happy about. But it seems a shame he went so soon as well.

So good to hear from you. I am very glad to hear your health is good now. But so sorry about your husband's condition. It's excellent news though that your daughter has moved in to help AND that she would make the move back to the Uk with you if that time comes. That is wonderful—a huge deal! As I recall, the thought of leaving your daughter was always one of the things holding you back.

I don't come here often now so I am extra glad I came back in time to get the email alert that you had posted!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hi Trotty so nice to hear from you again! Sorry to hear about hubs....must be hard for you. Where are you living now?

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hi Between two worlds- lovely to see your postings.. hope all is well with you.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Thanks Shelley, yes, all is well! I am still so happy to be back in the UK....

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

What happened to this thread/forum?:unsure:

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Glad you have asked, Gabby! Thus bumping it up and reminding people it is here. It used to be so active, and such a valuable source of support for those a bit later in life who longed to go back to the UK. It has been a resource for emotional support, finding others in the same situation, some practical info, and the "catching up" part of the title referred to the way it had become a community. Many people who began posting as expats continued to post and be part of the conversation long after they had come back home (like Jasper/Rodney, RIP).

Of course it's natural that once people are back in the UK, they post less as they try to re-insert themselves in life here, and of course their own need for the expat community's support is gone now they are no longer expat themselves. I'm in that situation...busy just living, less urgency to read and post...I feel a bit guilty about it, as the posts of others who had moved back were always helpful to me as I waited to do the same.

However, I did hope new expats would come on and keep the conversation going!

Just the other day I did come back to the forums and I recommended this thread to a newly-joined member, because I thought past discussions here could be helpful to that person...

Let's hope others also discover it, keep it going, and shape it to their own current needs.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

I am still here lurking- still in Ontario- have not closed the door on going back at some point BUT it depends on what happens with the Brexit fiasco. Very concerned about lack of policing in the UK and "hate crime"- seems not enough police people and they spend more time looking on Social media for Hate crimes than going out in the real world stopping crime.
Where I live in Canada, we do not have the level of crime seen in the UK. It is a major concern to me. Other concerns- healthcare- again NHS overwhelmed- okay so Canada is also having health crisis but nothing like the levels of UK- so we wait and see what happens!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

How long have you been back? What are your observations? Where did you end up?

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hi Shelley, yes, your concerns about overwhelmed police and over whelmed NHS are legitimate, I totally understand.

I'm back in Gloucestershire, where I lived as a teenager and where many family members have been all the years I was overseas, so it's where I always came back to. For me the yearning to come back here to lve was about the history, landscape, culture, and family--and of course the feel of belonging; despite those issues you mention, the things I love about England can still be found—cathedrals, villages, the countryside, the layers of history. Yes, much to worry about, much under threat (eg far fewer songbirds than in my childhood), but still so much that is wonderful.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hi BTW Glad you are happy- I have a Dad 87 who lives in Dorset- I go back each year to visit him- only child so he is a concern but doesnt want to move here with me, understandably. Not sure what to do once he passes- may rent out house until I figure it out...I miss the UK countryside but I live in countryside in Canada so it would be a big shock moving back to not much space. Time will tell I guess.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hear, hear.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Got to say neither of the concerns you've mentioned are an issue where I am. I rarely lock my doors, pretty much never lock my car on my driveway, and the NHS has been nothing but amazing to us here. Pick your area wisely and you'll be fine.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Great to hear this, christmasoompa.
As Christmasoompa says, pick your area wisely. I agree, it will vary from area to area...and even within areas. Where I am, some parts of NHS care I've personally experienced have been fantastic, others less so. The system does need overhauling in a major way. But it's still wonderful to live in a place where the first question on seeking health care isn't "Do you have insurance?" Similarly, some police work has been brilliant—busting a 'county lines' drug ring, for example. But resources are too tight for proper community policing, as police commissioners nationwide have been lamenting.

But in the end, it seems to me, these issues shouldn't necessarily be the ones that make the decision. Once a would-be returner has answered the bottom line question: have I the financial resources to move to, and survive in, the UK? in the affirmative, it seems to me that the emotional, harder-to-measure issues should be seriously factored in. What were the reasons I missed the UK, and couldn't stop longing to go back? As I've said, for me they are mainly what you might call emotional: I missed the landscape, the way the seasons are, skyscape, culture, architecture, British sense of humour,newspapers and magazines, being surrounded by history (a very big one)....and now that I am back, I have an enormous sense of underlying wellbeing and contentment because I feel I am in the place where I belong. You can't put a price on that! The sad aspects—shocking decline of bio-diversity in flora & fauna since my childhood; problems in health care; problems in keeping up with crime; current government paralysis—are outweighed (for me) by what remains. For example, my continual wonder at the glories of cathedrals and villages and landscape and the changing sky, and the songs of the robin and blackbird, still to be heard, thank goodness; and the greenness....all of this is with me every day.

In the end, as has been said before on this thread, though it can't be said too often: an expat has to look at exactly why s/he misses home; and to give a weight, as much as possible, to things that can't easily be weighed or measured. How much does it matter to you —speaking generally, not just to Shelley—to be here, rather than wherever you are now? When you visit—and visiting before deciding is important it you haven't been back regularly—what is it you love? what don't you like? and which has more weight emotionally?

If you stay where you are and "wait and see what happens," might there come a time when one has waited too long and it's no longer possible to return, for whatever reason--age, health, expense, changed rules, property prices even higher and thus prohibitive?? And might one then bitterly regret it? Is there ever a "right time" if a person really longs to come back and doesn't feel like her/himself being in another country, however well-adjusted??

But. All that said, I'm lucky enough to be able to live in a nice area, which I am sure makes an enormous difference.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

between two worlds - nicely put thank you for the inspiration. So close I can almost feel it now, the wind, the sites, the sounds.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Thanks for the reply- very insightful. We are both going back in September for a visit to see elderly father for one. I don't actually feel like I belong in the UK or Canada, somewhere in the middle of the pond lol. We are content for now and once we are retired we intend to travel southwards and do some rving for the winters. Once we get too old to do that, I think that's when we will review matters once again.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

A trip back—apart from personal visit, that's always useful to help work out how you think/feel. And post-retirement going southwards and rv-ing in the winters sounds like a good plan!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hm, seems as if this thread— for many years so helpful and such a support especially for those moving back to the UK a bit later in life—is petering out. No-one has posted here since my last post, above, six months ago. I don't come here as much as I used to (suddenly realised with a jolt that I've been on BE for ten years!!!!! :ohmy: ) since I've now been back six years....

Just bumping it up in case any new members are interested. I suppose because it's in The Rovers Return, people don't find it as easily as they would if it were on the general Moving Back to the UK page. I know why mods moved it here—because there was a lot of chit-chat and catching up between friends—and it's true that if you want to find specific answers of particular dilemmas, there's a lot of reading and sifting to do. But it was a great source of emotional support for many....

Hope all are well, and those who have been longing to get back to UK have managed it...or if not, are at peace with the outcome.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Hi Between two worlds,

I miss the chat on this thread too. Hope everyone is doing okay?

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

I will move it to the UK Moving Back area for a while. No problem.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Oh that's great, Bevs. Maybe it will be discovered by more over 40s who are thinking of moving back and want to discuss the issues....

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Bumping this up once more in hopes it might re-awaken....here's a question for Shelley748:

What did you think about moving back, after the September visit to Dorset that you mention was planned, above?
I have looked briefly at your posts since then on other threads but couldn't find whether they helped you consolidate your feelings about whether or not to move back...

I do think visits back, when possible, are a very important part of the decision-making process...

I wonder how many others have found that a visit or visits back to Britain, after a long time away, shifted their ideas....either towards "Yes, I really do want to love here again," Or, "No, I don't think I'd like living here now" ?

For me, every visit back to see my family reinforced my desire to come back properly myself, and live here. Not just because of family members, but also because of the place.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Morning from NZ.

We are hoping to make a good visit back to the UK this coming year 2020. I haven't been back in ten years now and himself hasn't been back in around3 years I think. It is such a lot of $$ to make any sort of visit from NZ which is why the many years gap.
Our good friends are still there and we are all still in touch. Some best friends here are moving back in just a few weeks time. Same neck of the woods as my home turf. Dorset and surrounds.

I feel the place will be the same. The good friends will be the same , just a little older like us. I am far less certain about the UK as a whole now. In particular the NHS. We are used to the quick easy healthcare access here in NZ . Husband thinks it could be all too busy but our friends moving back say it is about picking the right spot.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Great to see this post from you, Bevs! I've been on British Expats a long while and have seen over the years your wistful comments about returning.
I didn't realise you hadn't visited in ten years, but I totally understand why not, with the distance and expense. Of course these visits I so blithely suggested are hard for many people, especially those in NZ and Oz.

I hope you have a wonderful visit! Dorset and surrounds...gorgeous.

The UK as a whole...hmm. Yes, the NHS is having problems and many have found it far from "quick and easy." Others report having excellent treatment. It seems to depend very much on what resources are in one's particular area.

For me, the desire to come back was compelling and overwhelming....others will be able to more cool-headedly weigh up the pros and cons, perhaps!
Whatever happens, I hope the visit is great, and it helps you reach a decision (if that's its purpose).

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

hi there

actually the sheer number of people living in my old home town has put me off moving back to that area. I am horrified by the congestion everywhere, a simple trip out seems to take forever, and then parking is another matter. I found staying in my Dads house very noisy, traffic, people etc...guess I am spoiled living in country here.

between two- hubby and I are not in any hurry to move back, we are both in our 60 and want to do some traveling in retirement in North America, so once we have finished that we are going to review things.

i am put off as well by the reported quality of healthcare and lack of policing, maybe Boris can do something! Time will tell.

Not planning on going back next year, maybe the year after.

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

Very interesting, Shelley. Yes, some parts of the UK are really congested..I can see this would have been disconcerting if you live in the Ontario countryside.

Travelling in retirement—sounds like a plan.

As you say, time will tell, and maybe after you've got the travelling out of your system, you'll have more of an idea of what you want to do next...

thanks for the update!

Re: Over 40's Moving Back and Catching Up
 

I find that really interesting. I wonder how I will feel when we make our visit. Will I see wall to wall people and cars or will I feel home.

I am thinking we can get back hopefully around September time. I've wanted to go back to the UK for so long now that it sort of becomes a worry to see it after a decade away.
Hopefully it will feel like a comfy old slipper.