jasper123

Me too Rosy ----- Ive met lots of those Women and I have ran a lot more then a mile to get away from them over the years
I have only been married once, it wasn't a happy one for very long ---- not cause she was bossy though,
I hear you loud and clear on what your saying about what makes you happy,
everything you mentioned makes me happy too ---- except the books!!! Im not a book reader, I like my own company, I feel comfortable in my own presence, but I also enjoy being around people too,
I think when we get older we dont need to do a whole lot to make us happy, just little daily things ....
since I have been back home these last four years I have noticed that people here do take a lot of holidays these days, people seem to have money to burn here, they always seem to want to leave the UK and go to another country where theres lots of sunshine, they spend a lot of money too, travel does not come cheap anymore!!!! oh well each to his own I suppose ----- but for me I dont need any of that anymore, a nice walk in the rain on a lovely cloudy day, or taking the ferry over to Gosport, a nice movie at the cinema, a shot of whisky and a beer now an then ----- Hmmmm Im happy!!!! more I think then I have ever been.

trottytrue

Dunroving....Yes I should have said both men and women can be bossy met many of both sexes...I can remember I was only 26 I had numerous slurs hurled at me about being single and I could never think fast enough to give a good answer, till I was half way down the road. First of course...speaking to my Mother while I am standing beside her....Oh I see she's on the shelf, or to me.. your way too picky, or I was expecting to much I needed to lower my standards. The would always look at me and say "and how old are you now" and I knew what was coming next.......I was very happy with my life I didnt need to be married. Even now I enjoy time to myself.
Being home would have been nice because I could have got out more and had more independence I dont think people in the UK appreciate what they have.

trottytrue

Yes Cheers go stand in the corner and repeat...I have been a naughty boy.....30 times....

between two worlds

Trotty, so sorry if I have caused you to commit a sin! If it's a sin to envy those who have made it back home, then I committed that sin myself many times over reading BE.

It is lovely to be here, but if it's any comfort, all is not a total bed of roses in that DH is still not feeling very settled here and I am not sure he ever will…and because we have (my) family here, we perhaps aren't working as hard as we otherwise might at constructing a social life….however, it's early days.

Re Christmas, I grew up with no decorations or tree or anything until December 24th. I still think this is the ideal, though when we had children at home we did put up our tree a little earlier, about three days before Christmas.
Christmas begins at midnight on Christmas Eve and lasts for twelve days, until Epiphany on January 6th.
It was so exciting as a child on Christmas Eve to decorate the tree and know Christmas was really about to be here.

Some of the things I've seen on TV and in papers have been giving me the impression that some people think the twelve days of Christmas is a count-down before Christmas, culminating in Christmas Day!

Yikes.

Trotty, enjoy your daily mince pie!

Islandwoman, it's so great that you've started this gardening thread.

trottytrue

Between two worlds....when we lived in England all those years ago I was in a similar situation to you. My husband was also US citizen and he never really settled, looking back he never made any effort to settle in. He felt like a fish out of water. Not unlike what I have felt like for many years when we came to the U.S. but I did manage to overcome it. I had the children and that was sufficient till they grew up and left for College.
I don't think we ever find that true peace when we are married to someone from another country.
I am trying not to mention to my daughter how much I miss home and how I would move given the chance, I realize it upsets her and its not her fault.

Re-Christmas

I watched a program a couple of weeks ago and they asked children"why do we celebrate Christmas, it was amazing that just a few knew the real reason, many thought it was just about "Santa" others just said it was when they got presents. I think it would be a good idea to move the date for all those who just wish to use the time for drinking and giving out presents and and leave Christmas for those who really wish to celebrate it as it was meant to be celebrated. I think you are better off in the UK, they do mention the reason for Christmas I watch programs and there is definitely a subtle difference your TV programs and your commercials but here it's all geared towards Santa and gifts.
Once Christmas Day is over you see trees thrown out and decorations taken down. They have Christmas music blaring in the shops before Thanksgiving and I went into a local store and they had already taken down Christmas items and Valentines gifts were up that was a couple of days after Christmas.
It seems to be wrapped up in money and expensive gifts...
Not to get Into it too deeply it seems that in the UK many people moan about others taking over churches and a way of life but many don't want to be a part of that life. I hope what I am saying makes sense.

between two worlds

Yes, being married to someone from another country has inbuilt challenges that we don't see when first bowled over by the love and excitement…not that I have ever regretted it.

I am hopeful that my DH will soon feel more at home, after all we live in the town he has been coming to all the years of our marriage and it's a second home to him and very familiar…or perhaps the trips back to the US that we will inevitably be taking will be enough.

Re Christmas, yes it's ridiculous the way it's geared to spending and to speed and rushing on to the next thing…there's a good article in today's Telegraph about exactly that by Joan Bakewell, another person who remembers that Christmas doesn't start until Dec 24 and goes on for 12 nights…we are a dying breed.

scrubbedexpat097

I grew up with the 12 days also. Christmas Eve was when the Christmas Tree was decorated and all decorations stayed up until 12th Night which is January 6th.

Never really thought about this before but Dec 24 through January 6th is actually 14 nights???

Not remembering my bible stories from childhood but are the 12 nights from the day after Christmas when the Wise Men started their journey?

Lorac05

There are differing accounts of the 12 days of Christmas. January 6th is the Epiphany when the 3 Wise men arrive to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Some traditions say the 12 days are from December 25th - January 5th - the Eve if Epiphany - the Church of England follow this tradition, others say the 12 days are from the day after Christmas - January 6th - Epiphany itself.

I usually have my tree and decorations up from the Winter Solstice - 20-21st December until the 12th night.

between two worlds

Thanks sugarmooma and lorac, it's true I implied dec 24 to Jan 6 was 12 nights, and yes I was wrong to imply this, as it's more--lorac has cleared it up nicely here.

But at least we all know the 12 nights are after Christmas itself, not a countdown towards it!

dunroving

Well, of course - that's when all the good sales start!

trottytrue

Between two worlds....sad to say some people just don't care......it's become a time just to spend. When people mention the "holiday" it really makes you think about it, I for one do a lot of things out of pure habit, my Mother did it so I do it, so it's nice to pause and think about the reason. I was reading about Epiphany and came across a note on we're holiday came from, which was Holy day but because especially in the US they tend to call everything a holiday the real reason was lost.
I think the reason I love the UK is because of all its History I have decided this year I am going to re-introduce myself to all those history lessons I didn't pay full attention to. My first is the Magna Carta which is celebrating it 800th Anniversary this year.
I forget which church has part of it on display but I would love to visit. See how lucky you are....

between two worlds

Yes, the history is the thing that I too love about the UK and that I missed so much in US.

Funnily enough, yesterday I saw not the Magna Carta, but something closely connected--the tomb of King John in Worcester Cathedral!

The cathedrals are the country's treasure houses. Microcosms of history in extraordinary buildings.

Yes, I am so lucky….

dunroving

I graduated in Worcester Cathedral! Twice!

Years later, I took a US friend of mine on a vacation to the UK and we visited the cathedral. As we wandered along I asked her if she remembered the story of Robin Hood (yes, Kevin Costner and all that). I then asked if she remembered the evil King John (Yes). So I stopped and pointed right next to her. "There he is". She was well impressed.

between two worlds

Wow, what a place for a graduation!

Great moment impressing your US friend…but explorations in Britain's historic places are full of wonderful things like that.

Indeed, King John's memory has been perpetuated by the various Robin Hood films, starting from the cartoon one which my kids loved where Robin is a fox and King John a babyish spoilt lion…and then of course the classic Errol Flynn version…..

People know less about the historic importance of Magna Carta, though it has been mentioned a lot recently due to its ??? anniversary I think...

trottytrue

Between two worlds ...I wonder how much of History was changed by the "media" of the times. We see it in today's news people read an article and believe it or see a film and think it's the truth even though it has been changed for many reasons "Poetic License" is a favored one. Look how Shakespeare portrayed Richard III with a large humped back and that he murdered the Prince's, it turns out after finding Richard's skeleton it was determined that he was not that badly deformed. I wonder why Westminster Abbey will not allow the remains of the two Skeletons to be DNA tested. Robin Hood how much of that is folklore.....
I think if you are older in the UK and in fairly good health you have so many opportunities to keep those little grey cells working...visiting historic sites and delving into history. Sad to say a lot of people just ignore it. I lived in Chester a City full of History but I did not appreciate it I walked those Roman walls to work every day and never thought of all the history surrounding them....only now do I realise the opportunities I missed.
I am sure once you and your OH get settled and start doing more he will feel better if he has interest he can take up. when we were making arrangement to come home my OH was looking into buying a home near a small airport were he could resume his flying. He even bought maps showing were many of them were situated....
I see " Poetic license " came into play with a book which was shown by Sky TV. I have read all of Agatha Raisin books, she portrays the main character as a short dark haired not particularly slim woman with small eyes. The Vicars wife was a kindly older lady married to a bad tempered Vicar. It takes place in the Coxwolds. My sister in England watched it as she and some of her friends have also read the books, she was really disappointed that they had changed the main character in to a good looking blonde and turned the vicar black...she said it just took away from the books. When the author was asked about it she said she had no control over it....I am hoping it will end up on You tube so I can watch it...when you divert so much from the book you take away what made it so appealing...