secret12

I really need to move back to the UK asap but do not know where to start.
I am currently in Turkey and have a seven year old boy with tourettes and adhd. The schools just do not understand his condition and also look down on me being a single parent.
My son has just been kicked out of the last school for something he did not do but it's like banging my head on a brick wall talking to the school and plus it is really affecting my sons mental state and confidence.
The thing is I do not have any money but really want to return to the UK to get my son the education he deserves.
I have tried everything to work with the schools here and now I am at the end of my tether. The stress is killing me.
Please can anyone help? Thank you

Lorry1

Hi secret12,
I cannot really offer much advice, but just to say I really feel for you.
Are you able to go back and stay with friends or family until you are able to get back on your feet?

Good luck

secret12

Thank you for your reply and your concern.
Unfortunately I fell out with my family when I married my now ex Turkish husband and reconciliation is not really an option. I have been in Turkey for 16 years now so nobody can say I didn't try. There is no help from the government here if you do not work so I have always worked and would be quite happy to work in the UK also. It is just knowing where to start.
I do not really want to impose on friends in the UK because my son has adhd and it is a lot to ask of them.
My ideal would be to be able to find somewhere in the UK for myself and my son to live and also to find a job but I am not sure if I am expecting too much too soon.

dunroving

You could try contacting the local British Consulate or Embassy.

If you need to get back to the UK and don't have the means (money) to do that, I recall from my days in the Bahamas (some time ago) that there used to be some classification like "distressed British citizen". A neighbour worked at the Embassy there, and used to deal with these cases.

It may be worth a shot, nothing to lose, right?

secret12

Thank you. Yes I think I will contact them. I have a friend who works in the local one here. I just didn't think. My head is all over the place at the moment.
Thank you very much.

LisaP

Well done you for making a tough decision. You will be much better off in the UK. It will be a long and sometimes difficult journey for you but it will be really worth it in the end. This time next year things will be so much better.

See if you can get some cash together - can you sell anything? Gold? I would also impose upon friends for just a week until you can get some accommodation sorted out. Or, honestly, ask your family. Beg if you have to. You can do it for your son.

Good luck.

dunroving

I hate to give you something else to worry about, but expat women in similar circumstances in other countries (US, Oz) have had to get written documentation from the child's father that he gives permission to take his child out of the country. Marital status doesn't come into it, i.e., being divorced and the legal guardian doesn't change the need for this documentation. I'm not sure if this is international law or country-specific.

You might try searching (see Search, up top) for previous threads on this topic in this particular forum. I can't think what search terms you might use, though - help, anyone?

secret12

Thank you everyone.
Fortunately for me I don't need permission from the father as part of my divorce agreement was that I could take my child out of the country without his permission. I had a good lawyer and friends who gave me that advice.
I know it will be tough first moving back but I am sure I will settle in fast. I have to do this for my son and also for my sanity because I am tired of not being taken seriously just because I am female and a single parent.

Mummy in the foothills

If you are allowed to move as part of the divorce then I'd stick my tail between my legs and suck up to the family as a place to live for a little while so you can get back, then as soon as you can, move out with your son and make it without them.
Shame they aren't speaking to you and you'll probably hear lots of told you so's But if it gets you what you need do it for you and your son. (((hugs)))

But on the other hand, they may just be so pleased and relieved you are coming back, they will welcome you back with open arms

Sally Redux

Yes I agree, definitely worth a try in these circumstances. With any luck the rifts can be healed

pennylessinindia

support in the UK can be varied depending on the area you live especially schooling
how about contacting http://www.tourettes-action.org.uk/our-services/
They may be able to help with some pointers on areas offering more support and may be able to support you in someway?

secret12

Thank you so much.The website looks very informative.
Tourettes is very misunderstood because of the one programme years ago when the guy swore all the time. My son doesn't swear but everyone assumes he does when I say he has tourettes.
My son's is totally different to the swearing and is usually done when he is stressed.
Just to let you know the school have now admitted they said things they shouldn't have said and also only listened to one womans view and should have contacted me for mine as actually my son's version was the truthful one. They now know this but to be honest after all the stress myself and my son have been through these last four days I don't have much faith that this won't happen again and again if I stay.

gettingthere

I returned to the UK several years ago (was going to go again but am happy now I didnt). I too have a child with special needs, you will not get any state support here as you are not "habitually resident". so you will need work and somewhere to live it is also unlikely that you will be able to open a bank account as you have no history here. I totally agree with others that you need your family now and you may need to bite the bullet and ask for support from them. If you want any advise about special education here please PM me as it is very hard to get the support but I have been there and got the t shirt! much luck

Mummy in the foothills

Some with no UK history have had no problem opening an account, you have to search to find out where. For some reason I want to say it was HSBC. You'd have to ask Easterdawn.
Ds had no problem opening one with bank of Santander too.
Once you are home you are an ordinary resident, you can look for work, sign on at the docs, and enroll your child in school.
Ds even got to sign on without getting job seekers allowance for a few weeks then they started to pay him while he continued to look for work.