Nearly Home

Old Oct 28th 2010, 2:15 am
  #1  
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Default Nearly Home

I just wanted to say a big thank you to everybody on the British Expat site. I've had a really unhappy 15 months living in Canada, suffering with really bad home sickness and really struggling to settle but finding this site and reading messages posted by different people has been a really big help. Moving to a new country is always a big gamble and for some people it works out really well, but for others like me it's been a total disaster. Well I'm now just days away from going home and I can't wait, my dog flew back on Saturday, the shipping company come tomorrow and I'm flying home on Sunday. Home really is where the heart is and for me that's definitely not Canada.
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Old Oct 28th 2010, 5:28 am
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I agree and know where you are coming from. I had inspiration from this site when I left the UK for Australia and recently from others now I am due to return in 2 weeks. I only managed 8 months but home is definately where the heart is and I just couldnt prolong what I felt as misery just to try and reach the golden 2 years. Everyone is different and we all experience different things in the journey of life. Moving overseas has made me realise the good points of living in the UK and that is where I belong. The grass is not always greener. We all have different reasons for not settling in different countries but the bottom line is you need to live where you are truly happy. Good luck to those who have made the move and settled but I can call the UK home. My children are really excited and looking forward to going home and the reason I moved in the first place was for them. I could not stand by and watch them trying to enjoy it and truly wishing they were back with their friends and their old lives, ones they did not want to leave. I had rose tinted glasses on in a way thinking this would be a better life but every country has the same problems, drugs, crime etc. The good weather is not a good enough reason to upsticks and move to the other side of the world. Where ever you go you still have to work and live your lives and for me that will be easier back in Wales.
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Old Oct 28th 2010, 7:30 pm
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Good luck to the both of you! I am very envious!! We have been here about 20 months and are desp homesick!! Like you, we thought the kids would settle no probs and the little ones ( 3 and 4) have for obvious reasons, but our eldest (8), really found the move hard! She had a lot more and better friends in the UK and wish i could click my fingers and be back!
Its funny how people say you have to hit the 2 year mark, i think its utter rubbish, it may take 2 years for you to become numb, and to have had the "OP", but thats not the same thing.
I agree, for some people its great and for some its an absolute nightmare!
I would be interesting to do a poll on personality types and characteristics of people that have settled and the ones that haven't!

Enjoy the trip back, hopefully we will be not too far behind you!
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Old Oct 28th 2010, 8:03 pm
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Default Re: Nearly Home

It seems that a lot of people emigrate for a better life, but it doesn't turn out to be better. We definitely had a better standard of living in the UK than we could ever hope to have in Canada. My husband was talking to the guys from the removal company and they said that a lot of people are going back from Canada because they can't settle and it's keeping them really busy. If only I'd had a crystal ball!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Oct 28th 2010, 9:33 pm
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Couldn't agree more with the comments here. I don't need two years here to know I've made the wrong choice: three months was about it for me. For various reasons I won't be going back to the UK until January next year. If all goes to plan about 11 weeks today; seems like a lifetime away at the moment.

With hindsight I was seduced by the open spaces and the (perceived) better standard of living in Canada. Despite the time and considerable amount of money I've lost in pursuing the "Canadian dream" I'm trying to be positive about it. I've certainly learned somethings about myself that I didn't know before. For example, if six months ago you'd asked me whether I felt a real connection to my country I would have said "no". Today I would tell you that I do; and it's a pretty strong bond. Despite all the bad things there are in the UK it's where I feel grounded. It's my home and I'm proud of it. If the truth be know I'm feeling as if I've betrayed ol' Blighty by even thinking somewhere else would be a better place to live.

I can't wait to be back in the land of hoodies and happy slappers.
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 12:39 am
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i suppose the old saying, 'you don't know what you got till its gone'!! We could go on living like this, but i feel utter bordom in a country that i thought would have more personality that it has. I have gone on before what it is i find missing, so won't go on again, but untill i can get back to the land of the living - good and bad, i will continue to live this rather false life i feel i'm living here!! Plus, its so much more expensive than i ever realised, we're no better off whats so ever!!
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 12:46 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Have to agree with you all been here in Canada 13 years and can't wait to get back home.
Did not find live any better of any worse but a lot different miss my family and friends only have aquaintances here.
Daughter was 13 when we came now 26 married to a Canadian just hope he gets his spousal visa and we can all go to England's green and pleasant land
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 3:16 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

I just want to say how much I admire you all. Its not the length of time you spend in a country it is how you feel and how you settle in. Better to decide you made a mistake and get home rather than hang on till circumstances prevent you from going home. So Cheers to you all......You can always say...Been there done that..........

One of you asked about those who make it in a new country. Well I think one thing I have noticed is people who have loads of money who can pop back and forth to the Uk whenever they feel like it, they make it. People who are loners make it, they dont need family or friends. But for some reason once people get older they start to think of home and for alot its just too late. They missed the boat. So go home and be happy......
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 4:32 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

i suppose the old saying, 'you don't know what you got till its gone'!! We could go on living like this, but i feel utter bordom in a country that i thought would have more personality that it has. I have gone on before what it is i find missing, so won't go on again, but untill i can get back to the land of the living - good and bad, i will continue to live this rather false life i feel i'm living here!! Plus, its so much more expensive than i ever realised, we're no better off whats so ever!!
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Originally Posted by trottytrue View Post
I just want to say how much I admire you all. Its not the length of time you spend in a country it is how you feel and how you settle in. Better to decide you made a mistake and get home rather than hang on till circumstances prevent you from going home. So Cheers to you all......You can always say...Been there done that..........

One of you asked about those who make it in a new country. Well I think one thing I have noticed is people who have loads of money who can pop back and forth to the Uk whenever they feel like it, they make it. People who are loners make it, they dont need family or friends. But for some reason once people get older they start to think of home and for alot its just too late. They missed the boat. So go home and be happy......
Yes, its posts i read on the 'over 50's' thread that make me think i don't want to be stuck in a country i know from the outset is not right for me. Thats my biggest fear, is plodding along and before i know it, its too late.... i def agree that the people that don't need that close connection apart from immediate family are the ones that make it. The people that have a ton of money - well they can travel whenever and where ever they want. I truly believe its the people that are stuck in the middle, the people that need like minded people around them, that realise that a 4 bedroom lovely house in blue skies just isn't going to cut it for them! i am one of them!! I was fed the hype, i believed the hype that the UK was going to the dogs, yet, looking back i lead a life that many would dream of! We wern't rich, but we had richness in our lives, we had a good life, a much more fullfilled life in every way than here.
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 7:46 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Originally Posted by pinkkristen View Post
Good luck to the both of you! I am very envious!! We have been here about 20 months and are desp homesick!! Like you, we thought the kids would settle no probs and the little ones ( 3 and 4) have for obvious reasons, but our eldest (8), really found the move hard! She had a lot more and better friends in the UK and wish i could click my fingers and be back!
Its funny how people say you have to hit the 2 year mark, i think its utter rubbish, it may take 2 years for you to become numb, and to have had the "OP", but thats not the same thing.
I agree, for some people its great and for some its an absolute nightmare!
I would be interesting to do a poll on personality types and characteristics of people that have settled and the ones that haven't!

Enjoy the trip back, hopefully we will be not too far behind you!
I think another interesting poll would be to determine whether the part of England left behind determined whether the move was happy or not. I have a theory that those from the North of England settle better than those from the South. Just throwing the theory out there...
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 9:09 am
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Originally Posted by zednought View Post
Couldn't agree more with the comments here. I don't need two years here to know I've made the wrong choice: three months was about it for me. For various reasons I won't be going back to the UK until January next year. If all goes to plan about 11 weeks today; seems like a lifetime away at the moment.

With hindsight I was seduced by the open spaces and the (perceived) better standard of living in Canada. Despite the time and considerable amount of money I've lost in pursuing the "Canadian dream" I'm trying to be positive about it. I've certainly learned somethings about myself that I didn't know before. For example, if six months ago you'd asked me whether I felt a real connection to my country I would have said "no". Today I would tell you that I do; and it's a pretty strong bond. Despite all the bad things there are in the UK it's where I feel grounded. It's my home and I'm proud of it. If the truth be know I'm feeling as if I've betrayed ol' Blighty by even thinking somewhere else would be a better place to live.

I can't wait to be back in the land of hoodies and happy slappers.
I nearly turned my container around the week it was due to be delivered but my wife convinced me not to. 8 months was long enough for me and the kids and for some reason when you are unhappy and not truly at home where you are time goes so slow. it feels like I have been here an eternity. My job was a huge negative and i just didnt feel comfortable in my environment living here. The huge distances to do anything or get anywhere put payed to my kids lives as they couldnt just walk out of the door and easily meet friends.
I will never slag anything off ever again in the UK and will really appreciate the positives when I get back. Home is where the heart is and for me its Wales.
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 3:37 pm
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Originally Posted by garyp View Post
I nearly turned my container around the week it was due to be delivered but my wife convinced me not to. 8 months was long enough for me and the kids and for some reason when you are unhappy and not truly at home where you are time goes so slow. it feels like I have been here an eternity. My job was a huge negative and i just didnt feel comfortable in my environment living here. The huge distances to do anything or get anywhere put payed to my kids lives as they couldnt just walk out of the door and easily meet friends.
I will never slag anything off ever again in the UK and will really appreciate the positives when I get back. Home is where the heart is and for me its Wales.
This sounds familiar. Our container arrived this Monday, next Monday we get our first quote for sending the whole lot back to the UK. We've only unpacked some basic essentials the rest remains in its packaging. I'm hoping the shippers will reduce their costs accordingly: I suspect they'll be able to pack the entire house and load it onto a container in about an hour.

I'm hoping that one day we'll be philosophical about this little adventure and take some positives from it. This might take the sting out of the amount of money we've "invested" in Canada.

Back in June when we "landed" I was wondering what my first post would be in the Canniversary forum. Little did I know I'd short-circuit that and be posting in the MBTTUK forum. Life's full of little surprises isn't it?
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 3:41 pm
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Originally Posted by brissybee View Post
I think another interesting poll would be to determine whether the part of England left behind determined whether the move was happy or not. I have a theory that those from the North of England settle better than those from the South. Just throwing the theory out there...
I don't know theres an awful lot of Yorkshire folk who are moving or have moved/thinking of moving back.
My theory is if you had a close knit family and great friends and lived in a nice area you want to go back more than someone who lived in a less desirable area or had strained family relations.
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Old Oct 29th 2010, 4:55 pm
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Default Re: Nearly Home

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills View Post
I don't know theres an awful lot of Yorkshire folk who are moving or have moved/thinking of moving back.
My theory is if you had a close knit family and great friends and lived in a nice area you want to go back more than someone who lived in a less desirable area or had strained family relations.
I agree, i am from Yorkshire and had all what you mentioned above! i miss yorkshire people, they are salt of the earth and friendly people, not to mention know how to let their hair down and have a good time!
Its funny, cos i know a few expat friends and all what you have mentioned differentiate between the ones that are totally settled, the ones that are kind of settled but miss the UK more and more and the one like me who is completly homesick and want to go home!
My sister has just arrived for a holiday and its so lovely to have her around again, i feel alive again!
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