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Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by whiterabbit
Hi I am a new member who has some insight here. I am married to an American, 2 kids (6 months and 2) and we lived in Atlanta GA until 2001. We liked the place have loads of friends (English and American) but my wife wanted to work in the UK for a bit so we bought a house in London, rented our Atlanta one out, I got a job transfer and we moved back. Here is the good and bad and the reasoning we moved back to Atlanta. Obviously things relate to living in London but we could not get decent jobs anywhere else.
Good, Family, old friends and more to do within easy reach and of course more vacation time. Weather was actually better than I remembered. Bad, Cost, we made 130k pounds a year and were broke because of the cost of living. In Atlanta we have a 4 bed house, in London a crap 2 bed terrace which cost way more. Commute time (10 mins in Atlanta, 2 hours in London on the awful tube. Work conditions, same company (Big 5) very easy going in the US, horrible in London, stuck up and everyone had a chip on their shoulder. No advancement prospects like the US. Daycare in the UK 1600 pounds a month and they close at 6 so always stressed about getting back on the tube. In Atlanta 1000 a month close at 7.30. Schools are now as bad as the US and everyone I knew was paying for private school in London the same as in Atlanta. This surprised me until I got back Once we settled in because it is so hard to travel, places close early and eveyone is so exhausted we ended up not having the social life we expected. Immigration and crime is also out of control in London and its not like the place I grew up in and missed. Yes I know the US has crime but its easier to avoid becasue you are not forced to take public transport or live next to a violent council estate. US teenagers are much better behaved and spoken. Final straw was when my wife got pregnant again and the hospital and NHS care was horrible, we ended up having to pay in the UK anyway for some tests etc and in the end she gave birth back in the US. Anyway we are now back in Atlanta, with the extra money we have we can pay to fly parents over for long visits, pay our house off very soon and retire much earlier than in London. Maybe then we will take part time jobs and visit the UK a lot but never to work there again. Don't get me wrong Atlanta is not fantastic but it beats London hands down for day to day living with kids which is all that counts righ now. I would not sell up in the US and move back to the UK. Go there for a few months first to see what you think. Thanks for posting this. After 13 years of marriage and 15 years in the US I have been thinking about the possibility of going home too. I think it is partly due to finding this site, which has stirred up alot of feelings, which you repress after having nobody to relate to or associate with in the same boat. My closest friend here who is French and who has been my lifeline is moving back to France next week.We have supported each other and cherished our friendship for 8 years. We could always relate even though we are from different countries. That on top of moving house again in a few weeks, I have now realised is probably the cause of most of this homesickness. I was glad to hear you say that even tho you are miles away, you can afford to fly your family out often, same for me I just purchased two tickets yesterday for my folks to visit in November. I was so happy to be able to do this for them and they love to visit here in the Carolinas where we are. It is a real break for them. I work average of 60 to 70 hours most weeks and after this move I am going to cut back on working so much next year. After the move we will be able to afford the cut in hours and it will mean I can visit the family twice a year if I want and for longer that 2 weeks at a time. Thanks for helping me put things into perspective. |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Hayley
I'm sorry you've found it so tough- I just thought moving to a cheaper area would be preferable to a different country as you could still see your friends. Do you have alot of US friends you will be near?
My mum moved me at 3 and my sister at 7 to the UK leaving my dad in the US and we gave her a terrible time with guilt but now that I'm older and have had a chance to know my dad and the life I would have had here (i.e there's no way I'd have gone to UNI and got the job I have now) I don't hold anything against her and am really glad she raised my sister and I in the UK. I just have to be around my US cousins to see how they turned out and that helps! :D Unfortunately me sister- although she is really glad as am I to have been raised in the UK was a little older when she experienced the move back to the UK and so has now chosen to live in the US permanently (she moved here at 25). My mum is very sad that she will have one child in the Uk with her and one in the US. If you can help your children feel settled before they get much older that may help. It is an awful feeling to have one foot in each country as my sister and I were raised. How do they feel about the move back to the US (apart from seeing their dad?) The trouble is the whole of the South east is so expensive house wise and even where I'm at which is only 90 mins from family and friends they hardly make the journey because they are so consumed with their lives in London! I know if my children are anything like me they will want to go and live in the States at some point. It is very difficult to settle here when I can't even afford to buy a home and the States right now seems the better option because there I know I will be able to afford a home. I can't even get a council house and that's sad! I think when you have 2 nationalities, you will always feel as though you have a foot in both countries. |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
I think when you have 2 nationalities, you will always feel as though you have a foot in both countries This is why I really want to stop the cycle if I can by creating a home in one country before they get too attached to the states. My husband has said that once we move back he'd really like us to stay put in England so we don't confuse our kids and this makes sense to me as I don't want them to feel the turmoil I feel but also it is v. scary knowing that ideally I have to stay put once we return :scared: |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Hi all I have been reading this thread and finally had to sign up rather than be a lurker.
Must be a small world as I didn't know so many expats live in Atlanta where I have also just moved to. Where does eveyone go to? I have been to the English Store in Norcross and thought I was back in Croydon with all the old ladies and shopping bags. Anyone wants to meet for a beer give a shout. I have also been in the same boat as others on this site. Worked in the city of London for a few years got fed up with the rat race and went to the US and I did my PHD in Chapel Hill. Ended up joining the faculty but a few years ago began to miss England. Went back in a hurry. Anyway I made the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Turned out the same job that pays 80k here paid 17k in the UK. The students in my school in the UK couldn't care less about learning as it was all free, they could doss around and they weren't paying, so much easier in the US where students actually are motivated and paying. Family and friends were either jealous of me living overseas for so long or didn't have any spare time (typically English these days). On holidays back I didnt pick up on this. Standard of living (Brighton) was appalling and other issues mentioned in other threads were very apparent. Everyone I spoke to my age hated living in the UK and were all trying to move to Spain, Italy etc. Thank god I managed to move back to the US before loosing my green card. I dont mean to depress anyone but DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR US GREEN CARD as you will loose everything we take for granted in the US. Give yourself the option to move back. |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by AtlantaJohn
.
Must be a small world as I didn't know so many expats live in Atlanta where I have also just moved to. Where does eveyone go to? I have been to the English Store in Norcross and thought I was back in Croydon with all the old ladies and shopping bags. Anyone wants to meet for a beer give a shout. . Rob here (another Brit in Atlanta). I didnt know there was so many either. There is a meet up group. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/expatbritsinatlanta/ That meets in Roswell The Harp last Friday of the month, and Im having a Pool Party later this month. Check out the groups web site Rob (Farnham, Purley , ATL) |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
:(
Originally Posted by Triumphrob
Hi John.
Rob here (another Brit in Atlanta). I didnt know there was so many either. There is a meet up group. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/expatbritsinatlanta/ That meets in Roswell The Harp last Friday of the month, and Im having a Pool Party later this month. Check out the groups web site Rob (Farnham, Purley , ATL) Now I'm in the Carolinas what are ya gonna do?! Glad to hear that you are all making the effort to get together once a month that is brilliant :) |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Hi all I have been reading this thread and finally had to sign up rather than be a lurker. Must be a small world as I didn't know so many expats live in Atlanta where I have also just moved to. Where does eveyone go to? I have been to the English Store in Norcross and thought I was back in Croydon with all the old ladies and shopping bags. Anyone wants to meet for a beer give a shout. I have also been in the same boat as others on this site. Worked in the city of London for a few years got fed up with the rat race and went to the US and I did my PHD in Chapel Hill. Ended up joining the faculty but a few years ago began to miss England. Went back in a hurry. Anyway I made the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Turned out the same job that pays 80k here paid 17k in the UK. The students in my school in the UK couldn't care less about learning as it was all free, they could doss around and they weren't paying, so much easier in the US where students actually are motivated and paying. Family and friends were either jealous of me living overseas for so long or didn't have any spare time (typically English these days). On holidays back I didnt pick up on this. Standard of living (Brighton) was appalling and other issues mentioned in other threads were very apparent. Everyone I spoke to my age hated living in the UK and were all trying to move to Spain, Italy etc. Thank god I managed to move back to the US before loosing my green card. I dont mean to depress anyone but DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR US GREEN CARD as you will loose everything we take for granted in the US. Give yourself the option to move back. I think what gives me hope is my feeling that in alot of ways england is really going to be a struggle (expensive, have to get used to the drinking culture, take the piss attitude, swearing in the street, make some more friends crowded feeling etc) however it is so much a part of me I can't let it go. Great insight here though. I am expecting to want to come back to the US but hope it's not more than I want to live in England. My husband and I have decided to give it at least 4 years as that is how long we have been here in the states and we are off to at least a good start as we will be returning with, although a small sum, quite a bit more than the $5 we came here with! Who can tell? |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Hayley
I noticed also that friends of mine in England are talking about the advantages of living in other countries. It seems to be that alot of the time British culture encourages this move to Xcountry because the sun shines and everything is cheaper (till you are earning the currency!!). Then people hate it. I see that it is the exact opposite in the US the US friends that are living in england love it because they were led to believe that it was going to be terrible- one of them even told me they didn't expect running water :rolleyes:
I really wouldn't worry Hayley - spent 3 months back in London earlier this year (Tooting/Balham) and didn't hear any swearing in the streets, saw a few people beered-up (myself on a couple of occasions) but not noticeably more than there were 5 years ago. |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Cape Blue
Sometimes I forget just how parochial many American's can be.
I really wouldn't worry Hayley - spent 3 months back in London earlier this year (Tooting/Balham) and didn't hear any swearing in the streets, saw a few people beered-up (myself on a couple of occasions) but not noticeably more than there were 5 years ago. I can attest to the fact that Putney is still quite safe. :) |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
I really wouldn't worry Hayley - spent 3 months back in London earlier this year (Tooting/Balham) and didn't hear any swearing in the streets, saw a few people beered-up (myself on a couple of occasions) but not noticeably more than there were 5 years ago. Of Course we have become parents so we've become a little more respectable (plus americanised in this respect- if we were the same you can just imagine the judgment and offers of help in locating the nearest branch of AA) |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Hayley
I am expecting to want to come back to the US but hope it's not more than I want to live in England. My husband and I have decided to give it at least 4 years as that is how long we have been here in the states and we are off to at least a good start as we will be returning with, although a small sum, quite a bit more than the $5 we came here with!
Who can tell? |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by AtlantaJohn
I have also been in the same boat as others on this site. Worked in the city of London for a few years got fed up with the rat race and went to the US and I did my PHD in Chapel Hill. Ended up joining the faculty but a few years ago began to miss England. Went back in a hurry. Anyway I made the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE. Turned out the same job that pays 80k here paid 17k in the UK. The students in my school in the UK couldn't care less about learning as it was all free, they could doss around and they weren't paying, so much easier in the US where students actually are motivated and paying. Family and friends were either jealous of me living overseas for so long or didn't have any spare time (typically English these days). On holidays back I didnt pick up on this. Standard of living (Brighton) was appalling and other issues mentioned in other threads were very apparent. Everyone I spoke to my age hated living in the UK and were all trying to move to Spain, Italy etc. Thank god I managed to move back to the US before loosing my green card. I dont mean to depress anyone but DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR US GREEN CARD as you will loose everything we take for granted in the US. Give yourself the option to move back.
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Re: Moving from the US to the UK
This is turning into a really great thread, we've got the never go backs, the moving back, the considering it and the already there.
Bromley girl- didn't know you'd already been back 2 years. as I said before loved reading your old posts when you were stateside. Do you ever revisit these? If so what are your thoughts on the old you's opinions? I am trying to keep a journal to write all the things I am feeling now and write to my future self so I can really try to remember why I wanted to leave the US. It has saved my hubbie from having to listen to me swinging back and forth (used to keep him awake till about 2am babbling on poor bloke!) :D |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Hayley
This is turning into a really great thread, we've got the never go backs, the moving back, the considering it and the already there.
.........:D |
Re: Moving from the US to the UK
Originally Posted by Elvira
Don't forget those of us who would dearly love to go back but are stuck here for the time being...
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