British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Moving from the US to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/moving-us-uk-383515/)

Hayley Jul 6th 2006 8:04 pm

Moving from the US to the UK
 
hello everyone,
Have seen that the boards are dominated by Aus expats but the reasoning seems to be the same as far as returning to the UK the culture and the conversation et al would really like to connect however with people who have moved successfully or are going through the thought process of US to the UK.
I found Bromley girl had moved to the Uk but then wanted to move back again. worried me a lot as her US posts prior to going back echoed my thoughts for leaving!

My hubbie (British) and I (dual UK and US) will be returning for sure in 2 years time with our son and possibly another child. We don't really hate the US just feel really out of place and I have found that I am not the same person, don't want to talk too much and feel like a performing seal sometimes "Oh say garage that's so cute!" We will have been in the US for 6 years when we go back.
Can't believe this site exists is wonderful and thanks for listening!!

Always21 Jul 6th 2006 8:14 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
I know what you mean about being asked to perform. I hate it when people say, "Oh, say something else!" I guess that's why I speak with a fake American accent most of the time now. It makes me stutter though and I can't wait to be able to just relax and speak normally!

I guess you consider yourself British? Where did your dual citizenship come from?

If you've read my new thread you'll know I'm leaving Maryland for the UK in September. I'll try to make frequent updates on the forum. I suspect that like all the other returnees I won't feel the need to come here quite as frequently, but it has been a lifeline for me at my low points and so I'll do my best. :)

Hayley Jul 6th 2006 8:22 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
Wow, great that you are in the position of returning already.what drove your decision? would be great if you could keep me up to date when you return- though when I get back I suppose if I'm happy and all is going well I'll feel less inclined!

I was born and raised in Britain but my dad who is American registered me a yank at birth that's how I got the US citizenship. Feels weird as I have no real loyalty to US.
Not sure I could do a fake US accent still have a really strong Brit one and as my hubbies Brit also we have created a little bubble to live in. Probably our own fault we've not fitted in.
Am new to the boards- do you have family you'll be taking back? How do they feel about going to the UK? Also what are most worried about missing about life in the US?

Rompers Jul 6th 2006 8:34 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
Hi Hayley, I'm also going from the US to the UK and looking forward to it.

I have family to take back. Wife and eldest kid are excited, youngest kid wants to stay in the US but as she was too young to remember when we left the UK, it's fear of the unknown.

I'm going to miss $3 gas and $15 meals out, the weather, the beach and the convenience of being able to buy whatever I want whenever I want it.

I'm looking forward to being surrounded by fellow Brits, real friends, curry, walking to the pub and decent :beer:

Hayley Jul 6th 2006 8:43 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
I'm going to miss $3 gas and $15 meals out, the weather, the beach and the convenience of being able to buy whatever I want whenever I want it.

Think this has made me a little spoilt! I go to get a coffee now and it's not just black or white it's all the options and jinkady jink! Plus I can go get that at all hours. My friends back in england inform me that pubs are now open till 2am which is great although I'll miss the lock ins of yesterday I won't miss having to go to a nightclub to get a drink (don't know if you've seen the office but I'm thinking chasers)

The cheap gas is a good thing but I saw a post that made me feel better where someone said back in the Uk they actually spend less as they don't use their car as much.

What is helping you get through the move? How hard has it been now that you are down to the making it happen stage (i'm in the planning stage from the making my mind up stage so a little progress!!)

Always21 Jul 6th 2006 9:44 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Hayley
Wow, great that you are in the position of returning already.what drove your decision?

Kids and family! We now have two boys, a 2 and a half year old and a 10 month old. A lot of people find their attitudes about living abroad change once they have kids. I hate that my family are mising out. Obviously things are a little different in a dual nationality marriage as one family has to miss out. However, my wife's parents separated just over a year ago. Her mother moved to Arkansas and her sister jsut moved to Texas. Her father has no interest in babysitting and so basically we've had no help with the kids for the last year which has been an absolute nightmare. Family really sealed the deal in our decision to return. I know my parents will be more than happy to help because they are always doing so much with their three other grandchildren, taking them out to do things. It will also be great for the boys to be able to play with their cousins.


I was born and raised in Britain but my dad who is American registered me a yank at birth that's how I got the US citizenship. Feels weird as I have no real loyalty to US. Not sure I could do a fake US accent still have a really strong Brit one and as my hubbies Brit also we have created a little bubble to live in. Probably our own fault we've not fitted in.
Figured it might be something like that. It's great that you took advantage of the citizenship and experienced life over here though. Even after everything that's gone wrong, I would still do it all again. Living abroad is a fantastic experience.

I know exactly what you mean about living in a bubble. The only TV I watch is downloaded from the UK, and I do talk British at home. We love finding British groceries to buy. You're right that this doesn't help fit in!


Am new to the boards- do you have family you'll be taking back? How do they feel about going to the UK?
I feel kind of bad about my 2 and a half year old as we'll be taking him away from everything that's familiar. When we're in the car he knows exactly where we are and says, "This way Daddy" or "Home now!" However, I know he's young enough not to care too much. Fortunately my wife is being really great about the move. She's really excited. She fits in quite well in my British bubble at home! She is my biggest worry; I would hate for her to get depressed and homesick. I know she will really miss her grandparents who are fading fast. Neither of us are saying the UK has to be forever though. We'll just see where life takes us.


Also what are most worried about missing about life in the US?
I will miss Baltimore greatly! I love the city and am an amateur photographer. I have an increasing collection of neighborhood photos and I'll miss being able to add to that. We'll be back for visits though. I will miss our house as it's so much bigger and nicer than anything we could hope to afford in the UK. We are making a good amount from the equity but it still doesn't feel like anything when looking at UK prices. I'm scared we'll end up in a nasty area of the UK. However, at the end of the day it comes down to the fact that people are more important than buildings and so neither of these things are reasons to stay here while my mum is heartbroken about not being able to see her grandsons.

Well, I could waffle on forever but have to go now. There are of course many more reasons (for both sides) than I have mentioned here, but these are the main ones.

Hayley Jul 6th 2006 9:59 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
A lot of people find their attitudes about living abroad change once they have kids.

Definitely!! I was happy enough here when it was husband and I just getting to have cheap eating out at great restaurants (not Denny's et al ha ha!) But when I had my son 8 months ago I realised It's hard enough knowing that your kids will like at you gone out when you tell them about your childhood because it was years before theirs let alone if it was also in a different country.

Even after everything that's gone wrong, I would still do it all again. Living abroad is a fantastic experience.

I agree, and I just seem to know that if I stay i'm not going to change. i had a aunt who moved over here (was married to an American) and was really sad that until she died she always talked about gonig back- even after 20+ years.

I know exactly what you mean about living in a bubble. The only TV I watch is downloaded from the UK, and I do talk British at home. We love finding British groceries to buy. You're right that this doesn't help fit in!

Love netflix but use it only for British TV- and it doesn't matter what! Am watching stuff like Morse that I didn't even watch it the UK!



I feel kind of bad about my 2 and a half year old as we'll be taking him away from everything that's familiar. When we're in the car he knows exactly where we are and says, "This way Daddy" or "Home now!" However, I know he's young enough not to care too much.
My parents gave it a go in the US when I was 1 till I was 3 and returning to the Uk was easy for me. My sister was 7 when they went back to the Uk it was harder for her and she is now very settled in the US having re-moved here at the age of 25 (she's now 30) Will be hard to leave her.


Fortunately my wife is being really great about the move. She's really excited. She fits in quite well in my British bubble at home! She is my biggest worry; I would hate for her to get depressed and homesick. I know she will really miss her grandparents who are fading fast. Neither of us are saying the UK has to be forever though. We'll just see where life takes us.

I'm really glad your wife is so adaptable- that would prob. be the hardest thing otherwise- tell her to hang in and not get offended by the brits we can be a little caustic with our insults (it is a joke really!!)


I will miss our house as it's so much bigger and nicer than anything we could hope to afford in the UK. We are making a good amount from the equity but it still doesn't feel like anything when looking at UK prices. I'm scared we'll end up in a nasty area of the UK.

Know what you mean here also! Like to say I'm not materialistic but in reality it will be hard to adjust to a terrace- which is what our 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom us house will buy. What area are you looking at in the UK?

Thanks for the post!

Always21 Jul 7th 2006 11:17 am

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Hayley
What area are you looking at in the UK?

Well we're completely priced out of Surrey and Berkshire which is where all my family is, so we're looking at the cheaper parts of Hampshire and Kent, and even Milton Keynes. I don't have a job lined up yet so it will depend on that too. I will have a better idea once we get there and are able to visit places and see what the areas are like. I KNOW we will be looking at slightly rough areas but it's so hard to tell from pictures on Rightmove whether they are just a bit run down or seriously ASBO infested!

dunroving Jul 7th 2006 3:19 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Always21
Well we're completely priced out of Surrey and Berkshire which is where all my family is, so we're looking at the cheaper parts of Hampshire and Kent, and even Milton Keynes. I don't have a job lined up yet so it will depend on that too. I will have a better idea once we get there and are able to visit places and see what the areas are like. I KNOW we will be looking at slightly rough areas but it's so hard to tell from pictures on Rightmove whether they are just a bit run down or seriously ASBO infested!

Easy - if they are less than 300k, they are ASBO-infested! ;)

franki Jul 8th 2006 12:44 am

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Hayley
hello everyone,
Have seen that the boards are dominated by Aus expats but the reasoning seems to be the same as far as returning to the UK the culture and the conversation et al would really like to connect however with people who have moved successfully or are going through the thought process of US to the UK.
I found Bromley girl had moved to the Uk but then wanted to move back again. worried me a lot as her US posts prior to going back echoed my thoughts for leaving!

My hubbie (British) and I (dual UK and US) will be returning for sure in 2 years time with our son and possibly another child. We don't really hate the US just feel really out of place and I have found that I am not the same person, don't want to talk too much and feel like a performing seal sometimes "Oh say garage that's so cute!" We will have been in the US for 6 years when we go back.
Can't believe this site exists is wonderful and thanks for listening!!


I feel exactly the same way. I'm not the same person, no confidence anymore and don't want to talk. I've been here for 6 years, also had about 3 years here prior to that too. I'm hopefully going back soon with my American hubby, 7 year old daughter and 20 month old son. Along with the above mentioned reasons, I want to return to family and friends. Some days, I wonder if we're doing the wrong thing but I know I'll be depressed if I stay here. We're probably going to have very little money to move back with and make less when we're there, but hopefully things won't be too bad. At least, if you're waiting 2 years, maybe the house prices will drop a bit by then and you've got a chance to save some money. I wish we'd started planning 2 years ago. Good luck

bromleygirl Jul 8th 2006 5:18 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Hayley
hello everyone,
Have seen that the boards are dominated by Aus expats but the reasoning seems to be the same as far as returning to the UK the culture and the conversation et al would really like to connect however with people who have moved successfully or are going through the thought process of US to the UK.
I found Bromley girl had moved to the Uk but then wanted to move back again. worried me a lot as her US posts prior to going back echoed my thoughts for leaving!

My hubbie (British) and I (dual UK and US) will be returning for sure in 2 years time with our son and possibly another child. We don't really hate the US just feel really out of place and I have found that I am not the same person, don't want to talk too much and feel like a performing seal sometimes "Oh say garage that's so cute!" We will have been in the US for 6 years when we go back.
Can't believe this site exists is wonderful and thanks for listening!!

Hi Hayley,

I didn't know anyone had been following my posts!! I honestly think the biggest thing for me is the cost of homes in the UK. I hate paying rent(paying someone elses mortgage in effect) when all I want to do is own my own house which seems near impossible here. I know 2 years ago we were all saying that the market could not sustain continued increases in house prices and that prices would drop - but they have not! I'm sorry to sound pessimistic but unless you have a great deal of money to put down on a place or you are prepared to both work full-time it is very difficult to buy a home here.

My reasons for moving back are basically economic apart from the fact that my kids miss their Dad. I thought with a fairly good job that I would be able to afford somewhere and nearly 2 years on I am still renting. I spent 2 years planning my move back but one thing I did not count on was struggling to get by.

I literally toss and turn every night wondering what to do and if moving back to the States is the right decision. I too have dual US/UK citizenship and after being there for 8 years did feel as though I had become somewhat used to American life although I did hate being asked to talk or to repear myself and end up spelling words to be understood!! I know I would miss friends and family but I still have friends in the States and I know I'd visit the UK once a year. I suppose at the end of the day I need to decide if I want to be able to put a secure roof over my children's head in the States or stay here to be around family and friends in the UK. One thing is for sure that I will always feel a little different what ever country I live in.

yorkshire_lass Jul 9th 2006 9:49 am

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 
I can identify with a lot of what is being said here. Someone said they felt they lacked the confidence they used to have, yep know what you mean, and the little British bubble some others said they have created - yep me too. BBC America - suddenly Father Ted is hilarious, Fawlty Towers is recorded... those sort of programs that I didn't bother to watch in the UK now seem wonderful!

I found a store here the other day that sold real British PG Tips tea bags..... wooohooo you should have seen the excitement in my house!! Not like those American Tetley things, these PG Tips can make more than one cup of tea! and it tastes like real tea!! yes they are pyramid shaped ones too!!! Sad eh? but it made me feel so happy for a little while! lol

People told me that Americans are really friendly before I came out here, that was the impression I had too, and I know people are people and you can't make sweeping generalisations about a whole country, but how come I am more friendly than they are? How come it is always me initiating conversation with strangers whilst out dog walking, and they most often tend to answer with just a few words and don't continue the conversation, how come I have been here over 18 months and my only friend is British?? Don't understand it, in the UK I had loads of friends and acquaitances and people talked - in pubs, one the street, in shops, whilst dog walking etc. I know this isn't true for everyone on BE though, some people have made good friends in America. Where I am there seems an element of - if you are not affiliated to their church they don't see you as a viable friend, not all i suppose, but a lot.

Scout Jul 9th 2006 6:12 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by yorkshire_lass
I can identify with a lot of what is being said here. Someone said they felt they lacked the confidence they used to have, yep know what you mean, and the little British bubble some others said they have created - yep me too. BBC America - suddenly Father Ted is hilarious, Fawlty Towers is recorded... those sort of programs that I didn't bother to watch in the UK now seem wonderful!

I found a store here the other day that sold real British PG Tips tea bags..... wooohooo you should have seen the excitement in my house!! Not like those American Tetley things, these PG Tips can make more than one cup of tea! and it tastes like real tea!! yes they are pyramid shaped ones too!!! Sad eh? but it made me feel so happy for a little while! lol

People told me that Americans are really friendly before I came out here, that was the impression I had too, and I know people are people and you can't make sweeping generalisations about a whole country, but how come I am more friendly than they are? How come it is always me initiating conversation with strangers whilst out dog walking, and they most often tend to answer with just a few words and don't continue the conversation, how come I have been here over 18 months and my only friend is British?? Don't understand it, in the UK I had loads of friends and acquaitances and people talked - in pubs, one the street, in shops, whilst dog walking etc. I know this isn't true for everyone on BE though, some people have made good friends in America. Where I am there seems an element of - if you are not affiliated to their church they don't see you as a viable friend, not all i suppose, but a lot.


Could be your location. I know in the Southern US people will stop and gab about most anything. When I moved into my neighborhood back there, I met everyone of my neighbors by walking my dog. All 48 houses on the street.

gardnma Jul 9th 2006 8:54 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by Rompers
Hi Hayley, I'm also going from the US to the UK and looking forward to it.

I have family to take back. Wife and eldest kid are excited, youngest kid wants to stay in the US but as she was too young to remember when we left the UK, it's fear of the unknown.

I'm going to miss $3 gas and $15 meals out, the weather, the beach and the convenience of being able to buy whatever I want whenever I want it.

I'm looking forward to being surrounded by fellow Brits, real friends, curry, walking to the pub and decent :beer:


Rompers,

Is your wife American or English?

Also, when you return, can I have your avatar - that WAS one of the funniest parts of that whole season.

Jerseygirl Jul 9th 2006 10:43 pm

Re: Moving from the US to the UK
 

Originally Posted by gardnma
Rompers,

Is your wife American or English?

Also, when you return, can I have your avatar - that WAS one of the funniest parts of that whole season.

Grave snatcher. :D


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