pommychic

I totally agree.. I have been feeling a bit wobbly today..sun shining,, turquoise blue sea and skies and everyone telling me the uk has gone to pieces. Little voice in my head asking myself if I am doing the right thing.. But.. I need to be with my family and I am sick of feeling I don't belong here!

NZ4Now

It must be the day for it... As I was looking at the sea whilst driving over AKL Harbour Bridge and thinking wow!

Then started having the doubts for a second! But I want to stop feeling like something isn't right and for once settle and be happy

nelsonchick

Yeah its the blue sky, blue sea and sunshine that gets me every time. You just dont get it like this in the UK, ever. Lets hope we can feel happy and settle and stop feeling like something isnt right. My fear is that I will still feel those things in England :-/ Sorry not helping i know, its another sunny day here today!
Nice to know others are feeling the same tho x

feelbritish

Same here, must be the day for it too! Hot sunny and blue sea view from my lounge window and I am watching all the people enjoying the beach ( I work from home) Been reading your posts with interest and as I said on other forums, I also felt a couple of years ago that something was not quite right. I have no real friends, and wish to return to UK but having doubts as well. My hubbie loves it here but I miss family and friends. He is also talking about going back, well accepted that it is for the best, but now he says he feels in limbo which I do as well as we can only go back in 3 years when he can retire. He no longer is interested in his hobbies, says no point he will have to just sell up and told me he feels he has no home or roots! I feel really bad because it is due to my unhappiness he feels like this. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle the waiting the 3 years! Good luck to you all going back imminently, keep us posted if only to keep us focused!

Chortlepuss

Same here in Brisbane - weather is sublime - yesterday in the pool I was thinking how much I will miss the sunshine - But when I finally get back to the UK (and not planned for 3 years ), I'll take a holiday to somewhere warm, just like I used to do. Affording to go on holidays again will be just part of it - the best part - friends and family, belonging and all those exciting places to go!!

brits1

It might be hard but try and just think of your happiness first, if you have to rent if you do return home you just have to think of it as a first step to starting your new life home again and to feeling happy again and then take it from there..... plenty of people rent homes for various reasons, try and think of it as a good way to settle back in the UK and to be able to get to know areas you might like to live...a kind of "try before you buy" ....good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

MissBetty

Just what is it with the friends thing?!! I came to Oz nearly 5 years ago by myself and it's been a struggle. Just spent 2 weeks away visiting all my Pommy friends and had such a laugh! Today I rang a work colleague to see if she wanted to go for coffee next week and she quite happily told me all about the party she had at hers last night and the Sunday sesh they were having today but yes, would love to meet up next week. I had to bite my lip not to ask why I wasn't invited - feels like high school all over again lol! I earn good money here and yes, beautiful weather every day but I feel so torn. I'll try and give it another year to save as much as possible but it's just so hard - I miss my friends and family SO much! Good luck to you though I hope things work out for you back home!

janeyk

Thanks Brits 1 I do agree, we have an 11yr old and really need to find somewhere to settle fast for schooling as he has been moved enough in the last 4 years!
It is nice here walk the dog several times a week on Long Bay beach which is lovely, (not saying UK does not have nice beaches but not lived this close) the drive when sunny which has not been much lately over the bridge is lovely too but its not home!

after another sad turn out to our open homes this weekend, Monday feels pretty flat and depressing add to that the never ending rain I just wish something will happen soon do not really want to be here at xmas for another year

pommychic

I have had exactly the same experience as you have described... many times over. Never had any problems fitting in or being part of a circle of friends in the UK but here... well.. the amount of times I have found out about social things and events happening at work or outside of work AFTER the event and the thing is, they do not bat an eyelid at letting me know about the barbecue or get together that happened.. never crosses their minds "maybe we should have invited her" Or... We get an invite to something that has already been discussed and planned by a group of so called friends and the invite to us feels more of an afterthought... "you can come or tag along if you want to..."

MissBetty

Thanks so much for sharing that, you've just made a fed up Pommy chick feel 100% better this morning, bless you! It's just exhausting keep trying to fit in and feeling like an outsider. Like you I had heaps of friends in the UK and I didn't grow up in the UK so didn't have friends from childhood but still had a huge circle of friends. I'm not needy, I'm quite happy with my own company but I do like to go out and socialise as well! Like you I have a real appreciation for my own country now that I never had before. Funny thing is I work as a paramedic and we had quite a few Kiwis and Aussies come over to work for our service in London and we ALWAYS made them so welcome, inviting them out, organising a BBQ for them etc etc. I do miss the British sense of humour and striking up a conversation with the old ladies in the queue at Tescos lol!

Snap Shot

Hello Miss Betty. Thanks for the update, nice to hear things are going a little better for you lately.

MissBetty

Hello! Yes things are heaps better since my horrible boss left - couldn't believe my luck!! Still missing home and family though but saving, saving, saving! Hope things are all good with you?

nelsonchick

Thats great to hear as well, that others are experiencing the same thing with making friends. After 7 years here I have 2 kiwi friends, both of which lived in the UK for sometime so seem a bit more 'english' but every time Im invited out (not often!) I think why did I bother, the kiwis never ask me about my life, or anything personal, its all very surface. But I do notice they are like that with each other too, so am hoping its not just that I am hard to like!
I definatly feel english people much more open and honest, and want to actually hear about other's lives. I am totally fed up feeling like an outsider and making effort and getting nothing in return. It doesnt do much for your self esteem thats for sure!
Nice to know others have the same problem and it isnt just me.
Yes we do have some funny chats with little old ladies in tescos! Be so nice for people to get my jokes again too!
As much as I dislike aspects of england, the people are generally lovely! :-)
Think reading those replies, my wobble about going back has gone now. I just wish it was gonna be summer!

MissBetty

You know without even meeting you I'd bet my last dollar its NOT you! I have been on here for a while now and have had this conversation before, one lady even told me she actually had learnt to 'like' herself again after returning from Canada because she had no friends there and thought she must be a boring person, poor love! Honestly, I just don't get it and you know I'm so tired of gritting my teeth and being grateful for any invite that gets thrown my way lol! I've just spent 2 weeks staying on the Gold Coast and it was so great to catch up with my friends - one a married mum of 2, one a single guy and the others a couple. They are all English and it was so nice to feel 'normal' again, laughing, joking and just [I]belonging[I]. I was supposed to go home in Nov but my horrible boss left and, seeing as I earn such good money here, (I work remote) I'm trying to stick it out for a bit longer so I can have a bit of breathing space when I return. I'm hoping to be self employed when I go back, should be ok but have to get a foot in the door first so to speak Good luck with your plans, I'll be on the lookout for your updates!

Snap Shot

Yup. Feeling more positive about life these days.