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-   -   moving home with teenage children (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/moving-home-teenage-children-460075/)

brits1 Jun 20th 2007 2:40 pm

moving home with teenage children
 
Hi to everyone, I would just like to know if anyone moved back to England with teenage children? our sons are 13 & 16 and want to move back home to England. I am the one that is worrying about them in school at home, one son would go to maybe Marple College and the other would start his GSCE's at High schools in the 4th year. I am worried as here in Perth even though we do have some real head cases here they are not so "street wise" in England and I am worried our sons will be "chewed up and spat out".....I know this is being "over the top" by my way of thinking as our nephews in England (mostly older than our boys) are good lads and have done well....it worries me though that they all applying to migrate over to Canada and here to Perth....these thoughts keep putting off our decision to sell our home and go.....our boys are "safe" here but bored and we miss lots of things, can anyone help and wave the "magic wand" . One old gent said to me once (he came over to Perth in the 60's) said he has had not a bad life here but most of the time he wished he'd never heard of the place....I know how he feels

shazza1 Jun 20th 2007 4:53 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
hi brits, i am also in perth,i know how u r feeling as im in the same boat as u.we r moving bak home to stockport after 13 yrs here in aus..we went bak this time last yr for a 6 weeks holiday and my girls loved it seeing all the family as they were on 2 year old when we left and now they r 15 (twins)and my oldest is 18 now.we r waiting until the end of the school yr in dec which then they would finish yr 10.and by the time we get ther early nxt yr it would be the middle of the school yr there and getting ready for exams.so i dnt know what to do about putting them into school there..would they have to repeat a year?or would it be better to get them into some course at college?how long have u lived in perth for?

Kath & Graham Jun 20th 2007 7:03 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by shazza1 (Post 4945232)
hi brits, i am also in perth,i know how u r feeling as im in the same boat as u.we r moving bak home to stockport after 13 yrs here in aus..we went bak this time last yr for a 6 weeks holiday and my girls loved it seeing all the family as they were on 2 year old when we left and now they r 15 (twins)and my oldest is 18 now.we r waiting until the end of the school yr in dec which then they would finish yr 10.and by the time we get ther early nxt yr it would be the middle of the school yr there and getting ready for exams.so i dnt know what to do about putting them into school there..would they have to repeat a year?or would it be better to get them into some course at college?how long have u lived in perth for?


How does your 18 year old feel about going back, mine is having hissy fits!!!

brits1 Jun 20th 2007 7:16 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by shazza1 (Post 4945232)
hi brits, i am also in perth,i know how u r feeling as im in the same boat as u.we r moving bak home to stockport after 13 yrs here in aus..we went bak this time last yr for a 6 weeks holiday and my girls loved it seeing all the family as they were on 2 year old when we left and now they r 15 (twins)and my oldest is 18 now.we r waiting until the end of the school yr in dec which then they would finish yr 10.and by the time we get ther early nxt yr it would be the middle of the school yr there and getting ready for exams.so i dnt know what to do about putting them into school there..would they have to repeat a year?or would it be better to get them into some course at college?how long have u lived in perth for?

Hi,

We have been in Perth nearly 9 years, canning vale. We were back in March 07 for 10 weeks and yet again our boys said it felt more like home than it does in Perth and we felt the same, my sons faces had smiles like they use to and that was just being with their family, you should of seen them at Blackpool!!! I was going to try and be back for Aug 07 as then my eldest would start college with his proper age group and start studying for some A levels or something similar (they are more advanced at home than here) and my youngest would just start in time for the sept term. It is hard and I keep thinking it is the right thing to do but it does seem harder than when we came here....it is were we all want to be and I guess there is never going to be a right time!!! so you just have to go when you can. My youngest is 13 and in year 9 here so I think that would put him in the 4th year....so he could start studying for GSCE's. We use to live in Danebank in Denton but we are looking to live near Marple......
Hope it helps knowing someone else with older children!!!!
Jackie

Margaret3 Jun 20th 2007 7:26 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
cant speak for england, but my teen has just completed 4th year in scotland , and we are waiting on her coming to aus.(she will be 16 in nov and going into yr10 here)

She has loved school in scotland, yes the school had its problems, with around 1,400 pupils, and taking in all areas, what else could you expect. She once said to me 'I don't know how anyone could be bullied at school, coz they have so much anti-bullying polices, and help around'.
She was helped greatly at school, she's not a great academic, but she trys hard, infact i felt , on the whole she got on better at secondary school than primary.:D

Before we left scotland i , of course, spoke to the school of the plans, and they were hugely supportive to my teen, and me, the headmaster even telephoned me a couple of times at home to reassure me they would also be there for her, when we were away. Contrary to what people say, teachers and schools are out to do their best:D The teachers that i met during her time there certainly struck me as dedicated.
Goodluck and remember most kids are good:lol:

Norm71 Jun 21st 2007 12:45 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
We are moving from the US to the UK at the end of July. My kids are 16, 13, 10 and 5. Although they aren't as street wise as the kids in the UK the 13 year old has spread his wings a little more than his siblings and has done okay. I think the 2 middle boys will fit in quite well. My 13 year old is very out going and is more adaptable than the others. So no worries there. We have been having major problems trying to find further education for our eldest. This is because we have been out of the country for 8 years. I have had a lot of disbelief that we have come across this problem. They class him as an international student so therefore isn't entitled to free eduction. He needs to sit his GCSE's. We are starting to see light between the trees with him though. Because we have had to return for interviews for the visa's the guy my parents spoke with yesterday, thinks he might get round it because OH's job is classed as a temp position. The kids already know a lot of the kids that will go to the schools they will attend. This is because of the regular trips home. I just intend to be very pro-active with the kids when they start schools to ensure they are getting the education they need and try to ensure its an easy transition for them. Or as easy as it can be anyway. They are going to have about 5 weeks to settle in before they start schools and we will be doing dry runs to make sure they can find their way around. The eldest 2 will have to take 2 buses to go to the schools I want them to attend.

Hamsterhouse Jun 21st 2007 1:10 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
Hi there

I wouldn't worry too much about the need to be 'streetwise'. Your kids will probably gravitate towards friends who are more like them and it won't be an issue. My daughter's school has in the past two years had a big influx of Romanian, Polish and Lithuanian students and they are very non-streetwise, but they seem to have settled in easily.

There are some really 'challenging children' in our schools now, much more so than when I was at secondary school. Some call it a 'yob' culture, some call it a 'chav' culture and others claim that the kids are becoming 'ferral'. It is important to pick your schools wisely.

The real problem at the moment over here is that it is hard to get children into good schools. There are some very good secondary schools and even more very poor ones. The good schools usually have big waiting lists.

If you decide to come back to the UK, it would be a good idea to contact your prospective local education authority and tell them what you are doing and ask where there are likely to be places.

This is quite a good forum on education, which is contributed to by a number of experts as well as parents:
http://www.parentscentre.gov.uk/foru...s.cfm?catid=57

shazza1 Jun 21st 2007 1:31 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by Kath & Graham (Post 4945606)
How does your 18 year old feel about going back, mine is having hissy fits!!!

hi kath yeah im having the same prob with my 18 yr old too.though she loves the u.k left when she was 5 she grew up here she wants to stay here with her boyfriend of 1 yr.who now she lives with and they are a good couple but its going to break my heart if i leave her behind i feel like a bad mum even though she supports me going back home and is fine with it has she says she as her own life now and can make her own mind,but saying all that i still will miss her,i now know how my mum felt when i left her to come to live in aus i was 23 with aus OH and 3 little ones then.

BillyNorman Jun 21st 2007 1:36 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
I have just returned from the UK (without children mind you) and there is no way I would want to bring up children in the UK.

The crime rate is so high, you have loads of yobs hanging about the streets and drugs all about. Just reading the local newspaper says it all.

I suppose I am judging on one particular area in Manchester. I'm sure other places are ok but I know if I were the kids I'd prefer Perth.

shazza1 Jun 21st 2007 1:52 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by BillyNorman (Post 4947137)
I have just returned from the UK (without children mind you) and there is no way I would want to bring up children in the UK.

The crime rate is so high, you have loads of yobs hanging about the streets and drugs all about. Just reading the local newspaper says it all.

I suppose I am judging on one particular area in Manchester. I'm sure other places are ok but I know if I were the kids I'd prefer Perth.

well i must say growing up in the uk myself and yes the out skirts of manchester wasnt that bad crime,drugs etc..and yes thats was 20 odd yrs ago and things change,but having 3 teenagers now myself 15 and 18 and lived in perth for 13 yrs let me just say thery are plenty of crime and thugs and drugs on these streets too and in the schools ,as parent of teenagers you u see a lot.so its not much different here.

helinuk Jun 21st 2007 2:01 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
We returned to UK from 6yrs in Singapore with 13 and 16 yrs old. So one went into yr 9 and the other to do A levels. They felt like fish out of water to start with. Their expression was they felt 'international' not English teenagers. But they tried to fit in. One of the problems was that the other children had known each other since yr6 and were firmly set in friendship groups. My son in sixth form was invited to parties but not other social things, and my daughter was so homesick for her friends in Singapore after we had been in uk a year I eventually took her back to see them. It did helped her.
Both children had been used to going out alone and catching buses and taxis home, they found it very restricting not being allowed to go out like that here in Uk. I have had to take them and collect them from all their social events, (didn't help that the yr we returned there was a man called the M25 rapist on the loose and also the 2 girls were killed in Soham)
I struggled to settle back here too, we have just heard we have visas for NZ so will all be off to NZ in October. I can't wait to leave!

jumping doris Jun 21st 2007 4:36 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by helinuk (Post 4947252)
Both children had been used to going out alone and catching buses and taxis home, they found it very restricting not being allowed to go out like that here in Uk. I have had to take them and collect them from all their social


It will all depend where you live.
My teenagers went everywhere alone on public transport in the UK.Either that or they walked. We left 18 months ago and I it doesn't seem to have changed. They are over in the UK at the moment and will be using the buses and trains to get in and out of Liverpool and around the local area.

Here in my part of the US there is no public transport or pavements and the car is the only way of getting anywhere. They have found that really hard as I have to take them everywhere.

brits1 Jun 21st 2007 1:53 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by shazza1 (Post 4947218)
well i must say growing up in the uk myself and yes the out skirts of manchester wasnt that bad crime,drugs etc..and yes thats was 20 odd yrs ago and things change,but having 3 teenagers now myself 15 and 18 and lived in perth for 13 yrs let me just say thery are plenty of crime and thugs and drugs on these streets too and in the schools ,as parent of teenagers you u see a lot.so its not much different here.

I agree Shazza, we have been back a couple of times to Manchester in the last 3 years the shortest visit was 4 weeks, my sons felt more comfortable there on the trains and buses than they do here in Perth, we have been harassed (yes just ate a dictionary) on trains during the day, do not go on them at all at night now!! buses if we can get one usually have at least one fruit cake on them...so we take our children everywhere by car....my family in Manchester all have cars but use the transport system all the time as it is good and reliable and safe.....it all depends on the area's you live in and that is the same everywhere in the world, we live in a "nice" area on Perth yet we have more "break in's" than any other suburb yet my family back in the outer suburbs of Manchester have never had a break in yet (thank heavens) me I have been chased with a knife here at 6pm in a shopping car park all because a "local" wanted my bag....nobody came to help!!! it's swings and roundabouts...my sons regular tell me of drugs at school they can get them anytime and go on the parks in an area where we live at weekend and you can see them (kids and lots of them) drunk as lords!!! we tend to wrap our children up here in cotton wool and it really is not the real world...when they go out as adults wow they do not know what's hit them.....all I know is that whey our sons are back in England they come alive...they love he t.v, humour, friendly people, football matches and Christmas how it should be...with family, in Winter and having a good time...plus they love going abroad and it being cheap and not long on a flight....seeing other countries....I know I am going on and I do have my worries about how they will interact with other children but as my dad says "you attract like minded people" so they should be fine....my sons really want to do it so that is fine by us. You should pick your schools anywhere in the world as well and your areas, there are certainly suburbs in Perth I would not set my pinkie toe in let alone live there or send my children to school in these places so why would you do any different when moving to another country.

I have gone on again....sorry, I am off to have my tea and toast.....well not quite, oak flakes and tea but it is tetley tea (de-cafe) bought from Tesco's by myself while on holiday and it was cheaper than tea here!!!! and a lot nicer....
have a nice weekend all
brits1

thanks to everyone for the advice on teenager's at school's, there is a good college in Marple/Cheadle, they are really helpful you can contact [email protected] on any career's or help with courses and any info you require on GCSE's as you can sit them at this college as well.

Debbie June Jun 21st 2007 11:18 pm

Re: moving home with teenage children
 

Originally Posted by brits1 (Post 4944976)
Hi to everyone, I would just like to know if anyone moved back to England with teenage children? our sons are 13 & 16 and want to move back home to England. I am the one that is worrying about them in school at home, one son would go to maybe Marple College and the other would start his GSCE's at High schools in the 4th year. I am worried as here in Perth even though we do have some real head cases here they are not so "street wise" in England and I am worried our sons will be "chewed up and spat out".....I know this is being "over the top" by my way of thinking as our nephews in England (mostly older than our boys) are good lads and have done well....it worries me though that they all applying to migrate over to Canada and here to Perth....these thoughts keep putting off our decision to sell our home and go.....our boys are "safe" here but bored and we miss lots of things, can anyone help and wave the "magic wand" . One old gent said to me once (he came over to Perth in the 60's) said he has had not a bad life here but most of the time he wished he'd never heard of the place....I know how he feels

It all depends on where you live. There are very bad areas as well as good ones - like in any country! I do know how you feel, my kids are 12 and 14 and we're planning to move back this summer to London. They wereborn and brought up in France, except for a 2 year stint in Cardiff that didn,t go particularly well hence our return to France. But hubby carried onworking there so we're off back to join him. Just waiting for the reply for the kids admission to French school as will never again put them through British education - yes, I always went to British schools and didn't come off so bad but that was a very long time ago. Finding the right school is a high priority these days. Be positive and if you fall in right place everything will work out well.

jad n rich Jun 22nd 2007 10:07 am

Re: moving home with teenage children
 
We went back in january, was told on the aus forum (brits moving to australia) most kids now have knives or guns:zzz: and that was around the areas we were visiting, manchester, birmingham, york and a brief stop in London.

Frankly it was absolute hollocks. Yes there are rough areas, and yes no doubt there are rough kids, like australia or anywhere else then. But we found the primary school children acted quite young - given we were told was most would be dressed like prostitutes:rofl: Take york, went ice skating, arrived just as a class of 10/11 year olds were getting a lesson, the guy running the show asked if we wanted to put our kids in with them for the lesson, I just stood there and laughed, no knives no guns no prossies, the most overwhelming thing was the amount of pink and purple puffa jackets.

Down South, friends older kids (now 19 - 23) all went to one of those big comp type secondary schools in a very multi cultrural area, all 3 ended up in university, good courses too.

My main concern if we went to Uk would be the difference in education standards between OZ and UK, my kids would be years behind the UK levels after 6 years in OZ schools, thats my worry - I imagine the workload to catch up would be daunting to say the least, but others have posted their children did catch up, so it must be possible.


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