rach1015

moderator's note; Split from http://britishexpats.com/forum/showthread.php?t=693593

ok so here is my update..

All 3 fathers have point blank said NO to me immigrating...
Im looking into Leave of remove order, gathering up my evidence and preparing myself for a long battle. I have a number of a really good solicitor and im going to ring them in morning. Fingers crossed i get legal aid ( on income support )

Im planning a trip out in january and we are looking to get married whist im out there. Although i know it wont look good that i havent taken the girls out with me yet but it just costs way too much for all of us and we are trying to save for the visa process and flights and shipping at same time
ill be gone for 5 weeks and im planning on visiting schools whilst im out there and gathering as much info as i can to help with my LTR.

I have alot of info already about schools and i have emailed the prinicpal of my chosen school for my oldest child and will use the reply as part of my presentation. I am in process of getting an email from a friend/boss's wife of my fiance with a proposed job offer so add to this also .

There is so much to do
I had a long chat with the girls earlier and asked them again how they are feeling about it all , what they are scared of etc and im feeling alot better.
i do believe i have a strong case for my LTR.

Me and my OH are finding things pretty hard at the minute and i think this next visit will relieve alot of our anxiety, i miss him like crazy but tbh im going to miss the children just as much when im there.

I spoke to the girls nan ( middle daughters bio nan and my ex MIL) as she dropped dd off sunday and i was in tears told her my concerns and worries and how the dads saying no has effected me . Her reply was " dont rush into things , ya never know in time " and " you can always go over there for holidays you know we will provide cover for the girls and do all i can "
helped .... but didnt .. Im not sure they are taking me serious . Im going to have another talk with ex no 2 and ask him what he thinks abou it all and mention the court order vaguly and see how he reacts, i dont want to go all out and cause WW3 !!

I have read alot of threads on here about LTR ( taken me hours , hense me still sat here at 1.38 am ) but i havent yet found someone who has had to battle more then one ex

Im not sure if that is going to go against me but here goes!!... and there was me thinking that the I-130 was going to be my first hurdle

Anyway, research research.....

much love to all xx

rach1015

ok so i rang the solicitor that my friend recoomended and i have an appointment for 7th January !! Im getting nervous now

ian-mstm

With respect, unless your fiance is willing to move to the UK, I strongly suggest you do not get married until you know for sure that you will be able to take the children with you. You may find yourself in an impossible situation where your husband lives in the US and you either live in the UK without him, or with him in the US and abandon your children. If he's unwilling to move to the UK you'll need to choose between your husband and your children.


I suggest you spend the time more profitably... trying to get court orders for the children. Honest to god, you are setting yourself up for failure if you continue with your current plans. Abandoning your children for 5 weeks while you indulge yourself isn't going to look good no matter how you try to spin it.

I hate to be the prophet of doom and gloom (although some might say that's my role in life) but you are a train wreck waiting to happen.

Ian

jeepgirluk

Rach,

I went through the LTR process for my son. I second what Ian has said above. It is incredibly difficult to obtain LTR when the other parent refusing to give consent for the child to leave the UK.

I only won my LTR case because my son's father (my ex-husband) agreed to my son moving. The Judge had made it clear that without his mutual consent she would not let my son leave the UK. According to my solicitor and barrister, I also had a strong case for LTR but without my ex's consent we would never have won.

I would also advise you not to leave your children at all. I was also planning a shorter trip than yours, without my son. My solicitor advised against this. The main reason was that my ex-husband could have gone to Court in my absence and sought and order to have my son put into his custody.

Again reiterating what has been said - getting married at this stage is a very bad idea unless your fiance is willing to move to the UK. In my opinion, I cannot believe that you will be granted LTR for your children when all three fathers are against the move and the children have never visited the country that you're planning to move them to.

As a side note - as you are in receipt of Income Support you are not meant to leave the UK without telling the benefits agency and this would mean that your benefits would be stopped and you would need to reapply when you return to the UK. You should qualify for Legal Aid if you are in receipt of Income Support but I believe it all comes down to the merits of your case. Your solicitor will be able to give you the proper legal advice that you need but don't be surprised if it's not the news that you want to hear.

rach1015

ok so ...

The solicitor just rang after i sent her a email yesterday , she has brought my appointment forward to the 4th as this is the earliest she can see me .
She said i am very well prepared and looks forward to representing me .

The relationship between me and the paternal grandmother is brilliant and there is no way they would try to place the children in custody of the father whilst im away !! They dont want the children seperated from me as much as they dont (didnt) want me to move!

My fiance and i would consider him moving here in the very worst case senario, the reasons we are moving there as there is 2 job opportunitys for me, he owns his own house and 180 acres of land, the schools are better blah blah ...here i am living n a council house with no immediate outlook of work (24 applications and 6 phone calls were made just yesterday for jobs for myself and i had a work based interview last tuesday to which out of the hundreds of jobs me and the interviewer found 4 that i immediatly applied for fingers crossed!) .. so if all else fails then yes it would have to end up him leaving his family (he cares for his gran who lives over road) his job and sell everything .

The 5 week planned trip is not excatly what i would call being indulgant yes we are getting married whilst im there but im going to gather as much information as i can not only for my solicitor (she is aware of my trip) and for the fathers and children (schools , jobs photos etc)

The children will be coming out in the months following my return so when this does go to court they would of already been (mentioned also to solicitor)

Ian, im going to solicitors before i even travel so yes i am getting the court orders in place now and abandoning is a little ott as they will be with there fathers and grandparents

jeepgirl.. the legal aid is already underway through the solicior "ill get straight onto it" so thats sorted...all looking good and...

just spoke to father no 2 and he has actually listened this time and has said he will "consider the facts when presented " we have always been able to discuss our daughter like adults and i love that we get on so well so im hoping after a while to reassess he may change his mind !!

traceym

I have worked with Lawyers all of my life, I would URGE you to get a consultation with another Lawyer, even two more. What you describe is far too easy, Lawyers are sales people they will tell you anything to get your business.

meauxna

I split the LTR topic out from your old thread rachel, since it's distinct and will get more 'eyes on' this way.

rach1015

thankyou

Rete

Rach, you will do what you want to do. It is lovely to be in love and lovely to have high hopes and ideals. However, those things will not help you when the courts have their say. If the father(s) (can't imagine having 3 kids with 3 different men) are paying child support and play an active part in their child's life, then you won't have a leg to stand on. However, since you are on welfare then it is unlikely that they are contributing to their child's monetary needs.

Will read your future posts with interest.

rach1015

Well seeing as im not paying then i dont think the question of money needs to come into it ..

I will of course not make any assumptions until i have spoke to her in person

traceym

Of course you are paying, if you instruct her she gets your fee's paid (by whatever means,) if you don't she loses and gets no fee's!

You need to be sure also that she has dealt with case like this before and I don't mean a parent moving to Spain I mean specific to the USA cases.

Get some more consultations, if you don't you are being very foolish.

Sally Redux

How can you apply for 4 jobs and then leave the country for 5 weeks?

rach1015

Rete, it is very easy to prejudge my situation and as far as the "shoe being on other foot" i would assume same as you (whatever that may be , assuming it isnt good : )..

I was young when i had my first , married with second and third was abusive and had a gambling habit all of which developed after we had our child together, i was with their dads for over 5 years each and made every effort to make it work ... this is of no relevance but i thought id shed a light on my situation.

YES i am on benefits and NO im not expecting my future husband to provide for me. YES i want to work and NO im not having any luck looking for work (jobs search evidence will be provided with my case also )

I never could of imagined it either but that isnt what this is about , im just trying to make things better for my children and be with the man i love.

rach1015

im not sure what you mean

I have been applying for jobs... if i got one then i would state i had planned holiday and if this wasnt possible i would have to re arrange ..

Rete

Not judging ... but will read with interest future posts.