Moving back to UK from USA
Jan 23rd 2007, 9:13 pm
#16
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Baltimore, USA
Posts: 526
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Best of luck to you and your family. Please keep us posted on your move. I am planning to move this summer. Working on getting my house ready to sell. UGH!!!! Lots to do.
Jan 24th 2007, 6:55 am
#17
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,006
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Have you talked about moving elsewhere? I know your husband doesn't have the flexibility than most people (isn't he a UN employee?), but aren't there other places in the UK he could put in for? That feeling of being trapped can be a pain.
Jan 24th 2007, 8:20 am
#18
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: Middlesex
Posts: 983
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Yes, that was a close shave. I was within 24 hours of putting in an offer (had an offer letter typed up and all). The tough bit is that for the same type of place (smaller, in fact), I'm paying 50% more up there than down here. Still, hopefully in 5 years the mortgage payments won't seem too bad.
Have you talked about moving elsewhere? I know your husband doesn't have the flexibility than most people (isn't he a UN employee?), but aren't there other places in the UK he could put in for? That feeling of being trapped can be a pain.
Have you talked about moving elsewhere? I know your husband doesn't have the flexibility than most people (isn't he a UN employee?), but aren't there other places in the UK he could put in for? That feeling of being trapped can be a pain.
he works foe NATO..the closed most of the places down in the uk..there is one place in yeovil and I would love to go there...but there are no jobs in his line available..the funny thing is,,he would get the same pay any were in the uk..not just here in London..for London is not a bad pay..but any were else it would be fantastic and a nice detached house in yeovil is about 150k cheaper..we struggle here to buy but there we could live like the kings..it annoys me that we have to live here..there is no reason why the Nato is here because its the navy ..why are they not near the water instead close to London...I'm soo pi..ed off...By the way..I would wait with buying at the moment..
I'm happy for you. that you found your place..because you were not really happy in wales with your job....
Jan 24th 2007, 10:27 am
#19
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Feb 2004
Location: Mid West >> UK
Posts: 1,239
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
I moved back to the UK after 4 years in the US, last October. All in all I'm very happy with my decision to return. We have a great social life here and we have decorated the house completely, so feel somewhat settled. Thank fully we kept our house while we were away, we would have been really hit by the exchange rate if we had not. I love all the bridlepaths and forests for dog walking. This last weekend I took my dog to the new forest, which was just breathtaking.
In the US I found our life revolved around my husbands job, his company seemed to own us and my husband would often work into the evenings and weekends. It got beyond a joke, especially when he ended up in hospital. Which was another aspect that was scary the medical costs!
One thing that was a worry about us retuning was that my husband had made really good business contacts in the US and as you know who you know is everything he had started to look for another job and was getting offers galore, however it was at this time that we decided to come home. His present company offered to relocate us if he stayed for another 6 months. Our fear would be that the job situation in the UK wouldnt be so good and that for him to earn the kind of money he was on we would have to move to London. That fear so far hasnt been realised. He cannot believe how many high paying jobs there are in our county. So we shall see what happens.
I will say that whilst I was in the US I used to get fed up with the conservative nature of people in the media and around us, also I didnt like the me me me and work work work attitude. However whats amazed me since I've been back is how much I have changed because of this. I find myself feeling amazed at some of the brits attitude towards their own country and work and some people even moan about things like how long it takes to get their benefits that they wouldnt even be entitled too in many other countries in the world. People generally swear here more which again is initially shocking after not hearing it. And there is alot more nudity on tv. There also is a more relaxed attitude to crime than you will see in the States, mind you in the states they seemed almost too harsh. The funny thing is I am in no way a prude (ask any of my friends!) however its amazing what you get used to seeing and hearing.
The main great thing for us is that as we couldnt settle in the US we lived in limbo a bit however since being back we have decided that nothing will stop us from living our lives. So we make long term plans and plan future events which overall makes us happier. We could have done that in any country really but when you think you will be moving you tend not too for fear of losing out financially. Lastly with distance between us I can now appreciate the states more and feel proud of my experience of living there as I no longer have that daily turmoil of trying to figure out where I should be.
In the US I found our life revolved around my husbands job, his company seemed to own us and my husband would often work into the evenings and weekends. It got beyond a joke, especially when he ended up in hospital. Which was another aspect that was scary the medical costs!
One thing that was a worry about us retuning was that my husband had made really good business contacts in the US and as you know who you know is everything he had started to look for another job and was getting offers galore, however it was at this time that we decided to come home. His present company offered to relocate us if he stayed for another 6 months. Our fear would be that the job situation in the UK wouldnt be so good and that for him to earn the kind of money he was on we would have to move to London. That fear so far hasnt been realised. He cannot believe how many high paying jobs there are in our county. So we shall see what happens.
I will say that whilst I was in the US I used to get fed up with the conservative nature of people in the media and around us, also I didnt like the me me me and work work work attitude. However whats amazed me since I've been back is how much I have changed because of this. I find myself feeling amazed at some of the brits attitude towards their own country and work and some people even moan about things like how long it takes to get their benefits that they wouldnt even be entitled too in many other countries in the world. People generally swear here more which again is initially shocking after not hearing it. And there is alot more nudity on tv. There also is a more relaxed attitude to crime than you will see in the States, mind you in the states they seemed almost too harsh. The funny thing is I am in no way a prude (ask any of my friends!) however its amazing what you get used to seeing and hearing.
The main great thing for us is that as we couldnt settle in the US we lived in limbo a bit however since being back we have decided that nothing will stop us from living our lives. So we make long term plans and plan future events which overall makes us happier. We could have done that in any country really but when you think you will be moving you tend not too for fear of losing out financially. Lastly with distance between us I can now appreciate the states more and feel proud of my experience of living there as I no longer have that daily turmoil of trying to figure out where I should be.
Jan 24th 2007, 1:03 pm
#20
Just around the next bend
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,276
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Betty, it's hard to give advice because every couple has their own issues. I am glad I tried living here, but I would like to move back to the UK. My USC husband does not, mainly because of work. He has worked for the same company for almost 30 years and feels he will lose benefits etc. not to mention that he doesn't have a degree but has worked up from nothing, having had a small amount of training along the way but mostly just experience - he is quality manager in a manufacturing plant. However, the company is moving manufacturing to Mexico and it now puts a question mark over his future with them, he feels the plant will close and we will have to relocate anyway.
I like the countryside where we live, I do have a few friends here (mostly English), but I really really miss my family and friends over there, the countryside, the way of life, the vacation time, the more relaxed attitude to work (ie they don't own you), etc. I know it would mean less money to play with, but money isn't everything. Somehow being away from family over here has made me realise how important they are.
I am also annoyed that I gave up everything I had there to come over here, and he will not do the same for me, I do get unhappy and even depressed at times - my two children live over there and I worry a lot about them (they are 17 and 20). His opinion is that if we moved over there, the children wouldn't want to see us much anyway so from that angle I would be no better off.
I am staying put for now. It is too much to think about - I either stay here with him or go there alone, with no house and no job.
Anyway, good luck with your decision, I wish you the best.
Debbie
I like the countryside where we live, I do have a few friends here (mostly English), but I really really miss my family and friends over there, the countryside, the way of life, the vacation time, the more relaxed attitude to work (ie they don't own you), etc. I know it would mean less money to play with, but money isn't everything. Somehow being away from family over here has made me realise how important they are.
I am also annoyed that I gave up everything I had there to come over here, and he will not do the same for me, I do get unhappy and even depressed at times - my two children live over there and I worry a lot about them (they are 17 and 20). His opinion is that if we moved over there, the children wouldn't want to see us much anyway so from that angle I would be no better off.
I am staying put for now. It is too much to think about - I either stay here with him or go there alone, with no house and no job.
Anyway, good luck with your decision, I wish you the best.
Debbie
Jan 24th 2007, 1:28 pm
#21
Account Closed
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,196
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Perhaps a thought or three..? 
Your husband is aware of the negative effects of being "degree-less" in the US, however, many plants may hire based on experience in his particular job. At least in QC or manuf, experience still does count for an awful lot.
Been to Hot Springs and Little Rock, yes it is lovely there. The locals seemed quite laid back. You really know you are in the South down there.
This is the reason I posted a reply to you......and its just the opinion of one person.
Its inderstood this issue is serious sh!t in a marriage. Strong arm tactics just seem to cause resentment. Constantly re-hashing arguments gets very old, so where do you go?.....
Someone on another forum recently wrote that she understood her UK husband so much more by going to his homeland. His ways and habits made sense.
My OH thinks some of my ways are silly, but when she sees it in another Brit, suddenly I have credibility.....
Women.....
So, eventually the penny drops......
I know I haven't made my point crystal clear cuz the stuff is very personal, if you can't read between the lines......feel free to PM if you care to.
Good luck.
My USC husband does not, mainly because of work. He has worked for the same company for almost 30 years and feels he will lose benefits etc. not to mention that he doesn't have a degree but has worked up from nothing, having had a small amount of training along the way but mostly just experience - he is quality manager in a manufacturing plant. However, the company is moving manufacturing to Mexico and it now puts a question mark over his future with them, he feels the plant will close and we will have to relocate anyway.
I like the countryside where we live, I do have a few friends here (mostly English), but I really really miss my family and friends over there, the countryside, the way of life, the vacation time, the more relaxed attitude to work (ie they don't own you), etc. I know it would mean less money to play with, but money isn't everything. Somehow being away from family over here has made me realise how important they are.
I am also annoyed that I gave up everything I had there to come over here, and he will not do the same for me, I do get unhappy and even depressed at times - my two children live over there and I worry a lot about them (they are 17 and 20). His opinion is that if we moved over there, the children wouldn't want to see us much anyway so from that angle I would be no better off.
I am staying put for now. It is too much to think about - I either stay here with him or go there alone, with no house and no job.
I am staying put for now. It is too much to think about - I either stay here with him or go there alone, with no house and no job.
Its inderstood this issue is serious sh!t in a marriage. Strong arm tactics just seem to cause resentment. Constantly re-hashing arguments gets very old, so where do you go?.....
Someone on another forum recently wrote that she understood her UK husband so much more by going to his homeland. His ways and habits made sense.
My OH thinks some of my ways are silly, but when she sees it in another Brit, suddenly I have credibility.....
Women.....So, eventually the penny drops......
I know I haven't made my point crystal clear cuz the stuff is very personal, if you can't read between the lines......feel free to PM if you care to.
Good luck.
Mar 28th 2007, 12:18 pm
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 42
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
hi guys i have been here 7 years and think of home every day .each trip makes it worst. all the thing i have are only things .my wife cant understand why i miss the u k and watford so much . but its all about roots
Mar 28th 2007, 12:30 pm
#23
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 557
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
I moved back to the UK after 4 years in the US, last October. All in all I'm very happy with my decision to return. We have a great social life here and we have decorated the house completely, so feel somewhat settled. Thank fully we kept our house while we were away, we would have been really hit by the exchange rate if we had not. I love all the bridlepaths and forests for dog walking. This last weekend I took my dog to the new forest, which was just breathtaking.
In the US I found our life revolved around my husbands job, his company seemed to own us and my husband would often work into the evenings and weekends. It got beyond a joke, especially when he ended up in hospital. Which was another aspect that was scary the medical costs!
One thing that was a worry about us retuning was that my husband had made really good business contacts in the US and as you know who you know is everything he had started to look for another job and was getting offers galore, however it was at this time that we decided to come home. His present company offered to relocate us if he stayed for another 6 months. Our fear would be that the job situation in the UK wouldnt be so good and that for him to earn the kind of money he was on we would have to move to London. That fear so far hasnt been realised. He cannot believe how many high paying jobs there are in our county. So we shall see what happens.
I will say that whilst I was in the US I used to get fed up with the conservative nature of people in the media and around us, also I didnt like the me me me and work work work attitude. However whats amazed me since I've been back is how much I have changed because of this. I find myself feeling amazed at some of the brits attitude towards their own country and work and some people even moan about things like how long it takes to get their benefits that they wouldnt even be entitled too in many other countries in the world. People generally swear here more which again is initially shocking after not hearing it. And there is alot more nudity on tv. There also is a more relaxed attitude to crime than you will see in the States, mind you in the states they seemed almost too harsh. The funny thing is I am in no way a prude (ask any of my friends!) however its amazing what you get used to seeing and hearing.
The main great thing for us is that as we couldnt settle in the US we lived in limbo a bit however since being back we have decided that nothing will stop us from living our lives. So we make long term plans and plan future events which overall makes us happier. We could have done that in any country really but when you think you will be moving you tend not too for fear of losing out financially. Lastly with distance between us I can now appreciate the states more and feel proud of my experience of living there as I no longer have that daily turmoil of trying to figure out where I should be.
In the US I found our life revolved around my husbands job, his company seemed to own us and my husband would often work into the evenings and weekends. It got beyond a joke, especially when he ended up in hospital. Which was another aspect that was scary the medical costs!
One thing that was a worry about us retuning was that my husband had made really good business contacts in the US and as you know who you know is everything he had started to look for another job and was getting offers galore, however it was at this time that we decided to come home. His present company offered to relocate us if he stayed for another 6 months. Our fear would be that the job situation in the UK wouldnt be so good and that for him to earn the kind of money he was on we would have to move to London. That fear so far hasnt been realised. He cannot believe how many high paying jobs there are in our county. So we shall see what happens.
I will say that whilst I was in the US I used to get fed up with the conservative nature of people in the media and around us, also I didnt like the me me me and work work work attitude. However whats amazed me since I've been back is how much I have changed because of this. I find myself feeling amazed at some of the brits attitude towards their own country and work and some people even moan about things like how long it takes to get their benefits that they wouldnt even be entitled too in many other countries in the world. People generally swear here more which again is initially shocking after not hearing it. And there is alot more nudity on tv. There also is a more relaxed attitude to crime than you will see in the States, mind you in the states they seemed almost too harsh. The funny thing is I am in no way a prude (ask any of my friends!) however its amazing what you get used to seeing and hearing.
The main great thing for us is that as we couldnt settle in the US we lived in limbo a bit however since being back we have decided that nothing will stop us from living our lives. So we make long term plans and plan future events which overall makes us happier. We could have done that in any country really but when you think you will be moving you tend not too for fear of losing out financially. Lastly with distance between us I can now appreciate the states more and feel proud of my experience of living there as I no longer have that daily turmoil of trying to figure out where I should be.
I could of written this!
The live to work ethos compared to the work to live.
My husband spends approx 2 hours more a day in the house here in the USA than he did in the Uk. I have to add he had a 3 hour commute each way to London.
The firms attitude is horrid, I got sciatica 4 weeks ago and could hardly move, and they made a huge deal of him getting in late 2 times a week as he dropped little one at nursery for me (still cant drive). I need my friends and family to help at such times, His old employer would have sent flowers not indicated job loss.
I feel lost, I have given up my entire routine, work, friends etc.
Life here has been one stress after another.
Looking forward to getting home.
Mar 28th 2007, 12:30 pm
#24
Homebody
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: HOME
Posts: 23,181
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
Anyway, why not try to get involved in the USA forum and the Lounge - arguing with complete strangers and taking the Pi$$ out of that ginger bloke can sometimes help to dull the pain
Mar 28th 2007, 2:11 pm
#25
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 557
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
There are many of us in the same boat. We try to make the best we can. It's tough. You feel life is passing you by. I wish there was an answer...
Anyway, why not try to get involved in the USA forum and the Lounge - arguing with complete strangers and taking the Pi$$ out of that ginger bloke can sometimes help to dull the pain
Anyway, why not try to get involved in the USA forum and the Lounge - arguing with complete strangers and taking the Pi$$ out of that ginger bloke can sometimes help to dull the pain
HAHA
Mar 28th 2007, 11:27 pm
#26
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 6,848
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
He is now 18 and spent a third of his life in the UK, a third in Singapore and a third in NJ. We've decided that we might as well go for citizenship so if our son stays in the States we can come and go at will.
I've just got back from a trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam. I miss the vibrancy of life in Europe. I do have work authorisation but no way will I work here if all you get is a max of a fortnight's annual leave....
Oddly enough my husband's company have offered him a post back in London, but it's now not the right time to move. Ho hum.
Mar 29th 2007, 2:23 am
#27
SUPER MODERATOR
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 88,022
Re: Moving back to UK from USA
It looks like we will be here in New Jersey for about another 5 to 6 years; our green cards should come through in a few months (been here almost 7 years and have only gone for the GC just so our son can complete high school in June as our visas max out in mid-April).
He is now 18 and spent a third of his life in the UK, a third in Singapore and a third in NJ. We've decided that we might as well go for citizenship so if our son stays in the States we can come and go at will.
I've just got back from a trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam. I miss the vibrancy of life in Europe. I do have work authorisation but no way will I work here if all you get is a max of a fortnight's annual leave....
Oddly enough my husband's company have offered him a post back in London, but it's now not the right time to move. Ho hum.
He is now 18 and spent a third of his life in the UK, a third in Singapore and a third in NJ. We've decided that we might as well go for citizenship so if our son stays in the States we can come and go at will.
I've just got back from a trip to London, Paris and Amsterdam. I miss the vibrancy of life in Europe. I do have work authorisation but no way will I work here if all you get is a max of a fortnight's annual leave....
Oddly enough my husband's company have offered him a post back in London, but it's now not the right time to move. Ho hum.
