dunroving

I somehow missed this interestnig thread, but better late than never. I find myself agreeing with much of what John recounts as his experiences, in terms of having felt very much at home in the US and having found difficulty adjusting to life back in the UK. When I left here years ago, I didn't take one glance back and coudn't have been happier to land in the Bahamas initially, and then the US. I wouldn't exactly say I felt fondly about the UK back then.

I have never experienced in the US the micky-taking or silly comments on me being different (other than the whole "I love your accent" thing - and who can object to a compliment?)

I have, on the other hand, experienced more than a few uncharitable moments in the UK, before I left and after coming back. I was back in the States just recently and was reminded about the "Can do" attitude that John refers to, the positive energy, and the general respectfulness (well, I was in the South). I rarely if ever heard colleagues speak badly about each other, buut here, Crikey, people are always talking about each other behind their backs (I find myself falling into the habit too, which I really don't like).

It's strange, I think the US probably has far more social problems than we do, and takes care of its poor and sick a lot less than we do, but on an everyday basis it seems so much more friendly and genteel ... maybe I'm just able to escape the bad side of things more there. I sometiems wonder whether it is a Glasgow thing though (it is a bit "rough", so to speak).

For me, the biggest challenge of feeling like I belong here is that for over 20 years, I was given a home and support in the US, really enjoyed my job (big thing), whereas my job here is tedious. The main reasons I work to adjust are (a) long-term (retirement) I'm better off here and (c) I never did get LPR in the US and going back would involve so much bloody paperwork I can no longer be arsed, just for the sake of my last 5-10 years before I retire (here, I hopefully can retire in 5 years; there, it would be 10 years). [Can't remember what (b) was.]

It's funny, but I also differ hugely in terms of my experience with work ethic - so many BE-ers comment that life in the UK involves so much more leisure tme than the US, but I work much harder here than I ever did there and seem to hardly ever have any spare time to get out in the garden (not that there's much point; it's always p*ssing it down so i can't cut the grass even if I wanted to). I am hoping that retirement will be less tedious.

I do think of the UK as "home" (I gerew up here), but the US always feels like my second home, and one that I have always felt more welcome in.

jemima55

I had dinner on Monday night with my ex-work colleagues from before I went away. I love them all, we shared a big part of our lives for years, but I felt exhausted after. Why? I was trying to explain to them that no, you can't just decide to stay in the USA for ever, you have to have a good reason (work) to be there, or be immensely rich, and secondly, it's not like being over here, but in another country. We speak the same language, but that's where it ends. Most other things are different. I felt a real barrier of comprehension, or rather incomprehension, until one person twigged that you are dealing with the trials and tribulations of life (we had one or two!) under a system with which you're
not familiar.

P-Funk

All your posts have been so very helpful to me over the last few weeks since I joined BE. I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful contributions. They have given me much fuel for thought in my final three weeks here in Hong Kong and for my return.

Now I'm in those (absolutely) final stages of preparation for leaving. My flight leaves HK at 11.15pm tonight, and I need to catch the airport bus from opposite our apartment (very handy) at 8.00pm. It is now 1.00pm here, so . . . tick tock tick tock!

I am full of very conflicting emotions, but then that's no different to the past four or so weeks, except in intensity and with a dread of the final bus trip to the airport, the loneliness and emotion at the point of entering security, where -- big one -- I'll be leaving my gem of a DH here to serve out his work time till mid July. Then there's that moment of 'wheels off the runway'!

An ending and a beginning. Deep breaths . . .

jemima55

Bon voyage, P-Funk! I hope you have a fabulous journey! All the best!

Perth

Good luck and happy landings!!!

quoll

Bon Voyage! Hope you have a smooth flight!