catlover

We're moving back to England this summer after 14 years of living mostly in SE Asia but we're not feeling 100% positive about it. What have people found to be the best/worst bits of moving back? We'll be moving to a part of the country where we don't have ties/family/friends and don't have small children (youngest is 16, going into 6th form)... All suggestions gratefully accepted.

TraceyW

Just a question then...why are you going if you're not sure?

Have you been back for a look around to see how you feel?

catlover

My husband's work has changed and he spends much more time in the UK now. We've had 18 months of him living part of the time in England on his own and part of the time here. It's not easy for any of us, especially not him as he's on his own most of the time. At least I have our son and my friends here, and my every day routine.

TraceyW

Ooh that's difficult. Can you go and spend a bit of time with him back there to see how you feel about it? That may put your mind at ease a bit.

catlover

We always spend 3/4 weeks in England during summer, most of it in Dorset where we'll move to. It's just that I've forgotten the every day stuff. As other people say, it's the lack of knowledge about tv progs, people not being interested in what your life has been like etc. Moving is always challenging and it's not all negative - we're going to a beautiful part of the country and won't be far from the sea, which we are here in Kuala Lumpur.

dunroving

So will he change his job? Otherwise, it seems you will be in the same boat, except he'll be spending half the year in the UK with you and the other half overseas by himself ...

catlover

No, he'll be spending most of his time in England with odd trips back here so it makes sense for us to move, as far as the job is concerned anyway.

Englishmum

I'm pretty much in the same situation as yourself.....it looks like we will be moving back to England later this year after 14 years overseas (51/2 years in Singapore and 8 in the USA). I have mixed feelings as I know I'll have 'reverse culture shock'. We will most likely move back to our tiny house in Essex initially (husband will be working in Canary Wharf) but we have no ties there and I know I will want to move to another place as soon as we can sell it (my Chinese furniture won't fit LOL!) .

The worst aspect for me is that my son (just turned 19) has no intention of going to live in England and point-blank refuses to go; he has his girlfriend here and his car here, loves snowboarding and is a season ticket holder for his favourite ice-hockey team. I haven't even managed to get him to go across to England for holidays for the last three years.... On the other hand his elder sister is in West London as she is at uni, so it will be lovely to be reunited with her, even though she is unlikely to want to live with us ever again...

The irony is that we received our green cards 3 months ago.....I'm toying with the idea of spending part of the year in the UK and part of the year in the USA just to keep my green card going...not sure how or indeed if this is feasible...? I can't decide what to do.....to keep our house in the States for another couple of years - the market has tanked - or to buy a small apartment that our son can live in.

It's a nightmare trying to think of what to do for the best.

Are you going to take an amah back to England with you?

Englishmum

I'm pretty much in the same situation as yourself.....it looks like we will be moving back to England later this year after 14 years overseas (51/2 years in Singapore and 8 in the USA). I have mixed feelings as I know I'll have 'reverse culture shock'. We will most likely move back to our tiny house in Essex initially (husband will be working in Canary Wharf) but we have no ties there and I know I will want to move to another place as soon as we can sell it (my Chinese furniture won't fit LOL!) .

The worst aspect for me is that my son (just turned 19) has no intention of going to live in England and point-blank refuses to go; he has his girlfriend here and his car here, loves snowboarding and is a season ticket holder for his favourite ice-hockey team. I haven't even managed to get him to go across to England for holidays for the last three years.... On the other hand his elder sister is in West London as she is at uni, so it will be lovely to be reunited with her, even though she is unlikely to want to live with us ever again...

The irony is that we received our green cards 3 months ago.....I'm toying with the idea of spending part of the year in the UK and part of the year in the USA just to keep my green card going...not sure how or indeed if this is feasible...? I can't decide what to do.....to keep our house in the States for another couple of years - the market has tanked - or to buy a small apartment that our son can live in.

It's a nightmare trying to think of what to do for the best.

Are you going to take an amah back to England with you?

dunroving

Sorry, just realized I never answered your post!

Well, I have been very ambivalent about being back for over 18 months now.

Best bits:
Walking the dog and meeting lots of other folks with dogs.
Telly ain't too bad considering I only have 4 channels.
Pubs (if I could afford a pint)
Free museums.
Free mountains and streams and parks.
Cheap teabags.

Worst bits:
No money! Don't get me strarted on house prices again, but for those who are getting back onto the UK market, it IS a huge deal regardless of what anyone else says about it. How can you have fun when you're pouring money down a black hole every month?
Big changes in my job - students at uni these days seem completely disenchanted with the idea of reading a book in order to learn something. And the pencil pushers in unis seem to spend all day coming up with new initiatives to keep you even busier answering emails.

dunroving

EM, some of the mods are up to snuff on maintaining GC status, but I think if you spend prolonged periods overseas you have to be very rigorous about demostrating that you are not abandoning your intent to remain as a US permanent resident.

This may be a silly question, but have you ever considered becoming a USC? You can apply in the 5th year of your GC, I believe. I've learned the hard way that when you give up your status in the US, it's a long hard road to get back on the bus. If I hadn't stupidly left in December 1999, I'd have had my GC in 2000 and could have applied for USC in 2005. Instead, here I am thinking of starting all over again with an H1B ... so make sure you think through your options as it's hard undoing things.

alicecat

Didn't you realise they know everything they will ever need to know already!
My students and younger teachers seem to think that if something happened before they were born then they should not be expected to know about it. Even down to movies and music. Funny I knew about rationing, the music of the fifties and sixties, movies from the 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s and I wasn't born for any of it! I think it is product of the 'make everything relevant to their experience' style of teaching we have had for the last few years. Because apparently children will not learn unless it is in their direct frame of reference. Unfortunately I think it has bred a generation who believe they don't need to know anything beyond what their everyday life holds and hence a lack of wonder at the world and an arrogance that they already know it all. Rant over!

dunroving

Oooooo, you're getting me started ....... no, I won't go there. :curse:

Suffice to say, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I was teaching a class of first year undergrads the other day and I thought I had a room full of Kevin and Perrys.

But interestingly, I found that American students, though not any brighter, responded quite well to the quirky references and stories I'd tell about stuff outside their frame of reference (either historically or culturally), whereas here I'm faced with completely bemused looks that seem to say "Whatever ....."

Englishmum

Well....the problem is that although we've been in the US since mid-2000, we only got green cards in October 2007....my spouse will certainly have to surrender his green card when he transfers back to London, my son has no intention of leaving the States so he will keep his gc and I don't know if I could/should live in both the UK and the US for the next 5 years to maintain green card status, with the intention of eventually gaining US citizenship.

The reasoning behind this is that if we can't settle back home in England or my husband sees a job opportunity back in the US, then he could then (hopefully) obtain another green card as the spouse of a US citizen...?

However, he has been with his company for 22 years and the company is being taken over. If he remains working on localised terms in New York he will lose (or have reduced) a lot of benefits compared to being employed out of London (eg. final salary pension, annual leave, severance payment if made redundant etc.). Right now it is more attractive to have London as his 'home' base.

Another thought is that if my spouse takes out US citizenship then he will have to pay US taxes on worldwide income, no matter where he resides in the world. He is a higher rate taxpayer and yes, the first $80,000 is exempt, but if say, he were to go on another expat posting to for example, the Far East (Singapore had a tax rate of 22%, Hong Kong was 15% - although these figures may have changed) then holding a US passport is not so attractive.

I'm never going to be in the position of having a high income in my own right, so Uncle Sam wouldn't be able to get much out of me, LOL!

Just a thought Dunroving; have you considered taking up a post in Asia? Quite a number of expats from the UK, Oz and NZ were working as lecturers in Singapore (eg. the National University of Singapore) and in the polytechnics - and they had apartments for the lecturers. You can imagine how motivated the Asian students are.....

Ben

I'm sorry to hear this, EM. I know how difficult it was for you being in a similar dilemma when you were moving here and your daughter didn't want to stay. It's tough to know what to do for best. I can't imagine having to go back now after 9 years being here. It doesn't mean it hasn't been difficult at times but this has become home for us all. I know that at least one of our three would not want to go back now if were put in the same situation as you.

I hope you are able to figure out a solution.