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Moved across the pond, moved back!

Moved across the pond, moved back!

Old Apr 26th 2007, 3:30 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Sounds very familiar to me. I moved over in April 2001 to be with my Canadian husband. When I got here I was a little homesick at first but then got a job and settled in. The first year was not okay, we went back for Christmas and I was glad to return to Calgary. 2002 though was not so great, early in the year my Nan had to be placed in a home and she just went down hill from there. I had to fly back once on emergency ticket as she had a stroke. less than 2 months later she was gone, so another emergency ticket. And at the same time my OH lost his grandmother (2 days after my Nan). At this point I really thought I had done the wrong thing and was regreting my move over. So wanted to be back in the UK with my Mum. Went for another visit in November of 2002, realised that no Canada was right for me.

Of course then I started having kids and being so far away from Mum and my family really started to hit home. Mum did come over for 10 days or so after every kid, but it is just not the same as having her in the same country all the time. My OH family was around but MIL is not exactly the most maternal person around (a few other things aswell, but that is another thing entirely). Anyway what it boils down to is that I want my kids to have the relationship with my Mum and Dad that I had with my Nan, that is not going to happen with me in Canada and them in the UK. So following a move form Calgary to Red Deer financially we think we can make the move to the UK.

So you ask reasons for returning: OH has always wanted to work in the UK, to be closer to my family for the kids. To exercise that ghost of living in the UK. I am constantly up and down as to whether to go back or not, more so than my OH. It has been me up to now who has said no to going. And still I have days when I change my mind, and that is with living in a place that really has not caught my interest. Yes I am in tears on occasions with the thought of leaving, but then I think of how much it will cost as of next year to go back for a visit.
ONce a year is not going to happen and I am not sure that I can deal with only seeing my family every other year. They can't dome to me as parents will be on a fixed income and sisters have too little vacation time/money to do it all the time. So we have the money now, are not liking our location so had considere a move elsewhere anyway and we can take the dog.

I have not ruled out a move back at some point, although we said we would give it 5 years. Yes I am scared of what it is going to cost, whether we can afford to buy a house and if not find somewhere to rent that allows dogs, my OH commuting time (20 mins at present) and of course the bad press doesn't help (don't believe it all but it does scare you a little).

Could say more, but the youngest is having a melt down, gotta go, Any other questions please ask.



Originally Posted by Spud Woodward
Hi Fishfinger!
Just wanted to tell you my story about moving back to the UK, because if you're feeling vulnerable about the move right now, it might reassure you to hear it.
When I came back in March 2005, I too was an emotional wreck. I felt like Canada was my home and I didn't want to leave that environment which had become familiar to me. Although the UK had not changed beyond recognition, it was different enough that it felt unfamilar. I had grown away from the British culture that I had been raised with. When I did return I had this underlying feeling that I no longer belonged here although this was supposedly home but Canada was no longer home either so I didn't belong anywhere and had no identity. I became very depressed and anxious. After about 6 weeks I found a job which integrated me back into society, allowed me to make new friends, earned me enough money to keep up with the expensive British lifestyle and gave me a sense of belonging here again.
What I'm saying is this. You will be in a state of emotional turmoil regarding the stresses of moving back, but please be assured it is normal and I promise that within a couple of months you will start to feel better and relieved to be back in the UK. Hang in there. xx
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Old Apr 27th 2007, 2:19 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Hi Polarbearmum,
It was great to hear from you, sounds like you have been on a difficult journey too through your experience of living in Canada. I appreciate you taking the time to write and will write back properly when I'm not at work! Speak to you soon, take care,
Spud xx
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Old Apr 30th 2007, 1:08 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by fishfinger
Well, BC house prices have gone up too and I'm still struggling to sell our home. Been on the market for almost 6 months now and we are into the selling season. I've been told if it doesn't sell by August/September then that will be it until next year so I'm quite concerned. My advice is to get it on the market sooner rather than later as it's a worry I could do without right now.
Hi
Just a thought but why dont you take a leaf out of Tangrams book he advertised his uk house on the classified section of this forum a little while back not sure whether its still on there ,or whether its sold but with lots of people looking to get a property in BC on this site it may help
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Old Apr 30th 2007, 2:50 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by Eastbound
Hi
Just a thought but why dont you take a leaf out of Tangrams book he advertised his uk house on the classified section of this forum a little while back not sure whether its still on there ,or whether its sold but with lots of people looking to get a property in BC on this site it may help
Thanks, I have put it on there already.
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Old Apr 30th 2007, 3:46 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by fishfinger
Thanks, I have put it on there already.
Hi
Well best of luck with it hope it sells quickly so you can all move on
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Old Apr 30th 2007, 3:43 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by Eastbound
Hi
Well best of luck with it hope it sells quickly so you can all move on
Thank you! I hope so too, I must say I am starting to get a bit worried about it all coming together.
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Old May 1st 2007, 9:28 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Hi Polarbearmum!
Sorry was such a short reply last week, it was Friday afternoon and I had loads to do before I could leave for the weekend.
When you have illness and death in the family back in the UK, it's heart wrenching. The year I moved out to Canada my Dad was just in remission from cancer. It breaks my heart when I think that I left so soon after he went through treatment because he was on an emotional rollercoaster about my leaving. Luckily everything has worked out fine with my Dad.
Resettling in the UK was expensive, but if your other half is keen to make it work at least you can support each other through it, plus having your family closer will provide a much needed support network and help with your kids. I know of a few who've taken the plunge with children. One family I know settled really well and another ended up returning to Calgary, but their kids were in their teens and they couldn't settle here as Canada was all they really knew.
It's been a culture shock coming back all over again. I felt like I had moved to a foreign country when I came back - unfamiliar songs on the radio, faces on the TV, news items etc. At first I felt like I didn't belong here and I cried all the time for a few weeks, something I wasn't prepared for. BUT it all came together within a couple of months. When you both get work sorted out, that should help you to build your identity here. For me, I quickly became the ex-pat who'd moved back and people were intregued by that plus they were kind and helpful to make me feel a part of life here again. I found that once I started work, I relished all the things I had missed in Canada like longer holidays or going to the pub or out for a coffee with work mates to enjoy the banter. It actually took time to re-integrate myself into the banter as I had somewhat lost my British humour since I had lived in Canada. Everyone's experiences are different of course but for me it was all worth it.
Try not to let the bad press scare you off. We are overcrowded, polluted and over-taxed here. But a lot of what you find tough about Canada won't be here either!
Best of luck with your decision, hope you find happiness whichever way you go!
Spud xx
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Old May 1st 2007, 8:01 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by Spud Woodward
Hi Polarbearmum!
Sorry was such a short reply last week, it was Friday afternoon and I had loads to do before I could leave for the weekend.
When you have illness and death in the family back in the UK, it's heart wrenching. The year I moved out to Canada my Dad was just in remission from cancer. It breaks my heart when I think that I left so soon after he went through treatment because he was on an emotional rollercoaster about my leaving. Luckily everything has worked out fine with my Dad.
Resettling in the UK was expensive, but if your other half is keen to make it work at least you can support each other through it, plus having your family closer will provide a much needed support network and help with your kids. I know of a few who've taken the plunge with children. One family I know settled really well and another ended up returning to Calgary, but their kids were in their teens and they couldn't settle here as Canada was all they really knew.
It's been a culture shock coming back all over again. I felt like I had moved to a foreign country when I came back - unfamiliar songs on the radio, faces on the TV, news items etc. At first I felt like I didn't belong here and I cried all the time for a few weeks, something I wasn't prepared for. BUT it all came together within a couple of months. When you both get work sorted out, that should help you to build your identity here. For me, I quickly became the ex-pat who'd moved back and people were intregued by that plus they were kind and helpful to make me feel a part of life here again. I found that once I started work, I relished all the things I had missed in Canada like longer holidays or going to the pub or out for a coffee with work mates to enjoy the banter. It actually took time to re-integrate myself into the banter as I had somewhat lost my British humour since I had lived in Canada. Everyone's experiences are different of course but for me it was all worth it.
Try not to let the bad press scare you off. We are overcrowded, polluted and over-taxed here. But a lot of what you find tough about Canada won't be here either!
Best of luck with your decision, hope you find happiness whichever way you go!
Spud xx
Three kids under 4, don't think I will be working. If childcare expenses are anything like over here I would need to earn almost double of what I was when I left, and that was 6 years ago - no recent experience in the UK and to be quite honest real lack of motivation to have someone else raise my kids.
Nope for me it will have to be the neighbours, play dates and going back to help at brownies (well actually with boys more likely beavers and cubs).
Had no close friends in the country when I left the UK so no friendships to pick back up, but then I think as a person I have changed in the last 6 years, and having kids has helped - find it easier to talk to people now. In fact my closest friends 6 years ago are still friends today, I am married to one and the other lives in BC. I think I will be back to friendships across the pond, letter writing is unlikely so I'll be plugged in alot. I have 4 of the provinces covered, just looking for NS,NB, Quebec, NWT, Yukon, Innut and I'l have friends all over Canada.
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Old May 3rd 2007, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Anyone no much about Glasgow
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Old May 3rd 2007, 10:00 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by Spud Woodward
I moved to Canada from the UK in 2001 and four years later returned to live in the UK.
I am now a research student writing a paper on why ex-pats return to Britain from Canada. There are many comments regarding returning from Australia, but why do some of us jump the Canadian ship?
To start the ball rolling, I'll tell you mine - there's no place like home for starters. I missed simple things like calling up friends to pop out for a drink. I felt guilt and separation anxiety regarding family and friends. I craved stupid things like being able to go shopping without clearing snow off the driveway first. Life was a bit "tougher" than I had anticipated. I found Canadian people friendly and polite but I would crack a joke at work and instead of joining in the banter, people would just look at me as if I had flipped. Canadian humour is on a different wave length to British humour. We all speak the same language but that's where the similarity ends. We have a different work ethics and we enjoy different things. I made many Canadian friends and other ex-pat friends over my time of living there and still have these people in my lives now. They are very dear to me and I will go back to visit them.
I loved Canada for what it was and what it provided and the Canadian people were lovely. It was just a round peg square hole situation.
Please let me know any thoughts you have about living in Canada or returning to Britain, would love to hear from you!
xxx

Glad you are happy being back in UK, just wanted to say, the British humour is 'lost' here too in NZ!
You crack a joke about anything and they look at you stoney faced like you have just turned into a alien speaking a different language!
In the end, you just stop joking. Life just becomes one big joke living here (NZ)
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Old May 4th 2007, 10:18 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Hi Rascal,

Glad to know I wasn't alone with the humour incompatibility issue! Would it be ok for me to include your comments in my research? I am a lecturer / researcher writing a paper for a conference regarding why people moved back to the UK after emigrating. It's totally confidential. Have a great weekend and try not to make any NZers spilt their sides from laughter!

Spud xx
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Old May 4th 2007, 10:20 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by tacotejas
Anyone no much about Glasgow
Afraid I don't know anything! I went there once when I was 16. All I remember was having a McDonalds and feeding the pigeons! Exciting stuff hey? Are you moving to Glasgow?
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Old May 6th 2007, 2:17 pm
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

I know about Glasgow but there are also others that will know too, What do you want to know?
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Old May 6th 2007, 8:27 pm
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Thumbs down Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Sorry to say but if you look up the crime stats for Glasgow you wouldn't consider sending a dog to it!!!! It is an incredibly violent city. The most murders per capita in the UK I believe. Hugely socially deprived and generally run down. Think very very carefully before you commit yourself!
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Old May 7th 2007, 12:20 am
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Default Re: Moved across the pond, moved back!

Originally Posted by Mrs Miggins
Sorry to say but if you look up the crime stats for Glasgow you wouldn't consider sending a dog to it!!!! It is an incredibly violent city. The most murders per capita in the UK I believe. Hugely socially deprived and generally run down. Think very very carefully before you commit yourself!
Not all of it !!

Didn't get attacked by any violent criminals when I have been there.

Take it with a pinch of salt
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