?move back the UK from NZ
 

Would really like some advise from people who have moved back to the UK on what it is really like. I have been living in NZ for nearly 8 years now and when we first moved here we only had our one year old DS, now we have two girls as well. I think that the older they have become the more you realise that family and friends are missing out on them and vice versa, skype is just not the same and our two younger ones don't know their grandparents over there.
We have been really lucky that my mum, step-dad and youngest brother also live here, but my mum has now decided that she wants to move back and I am not sure if I can stay here without any family.
My husband really doesn't want to go back, but has said that he will if I want to. My son who is now 9 wants to go back as he wants family, but then he is very young to really understand.
When I have talked with people they are horrified, they talk about it like taking a child back to the UK is like child abuse. We live in a very good area here and our children go to a good school. However, even though I really like it here, it doesn't feel like home and I don't know if I can see myself being here permanently and I worry that it we didn't move back soon then it will be too hard to uproot our children and start again. However I also worry that if we do and go back, everything that people say about how awful it is will be true and I will feel really guilty. I can't say I exactly regret it, it has been a great experience living here, but I think that I will always have the comparison and it may hard to be settled now.
We had thought through some of the logistics of moving back and my husband thought I should go ahead with our children and live with his parents in Bath whilst he finishes up selling up here and to make sure one of us has a job first. I am a mental health nurse. However the more horror stories I hear, the more unsure I am and would really like to hear from others who have took the plunge. I would like to move back next year as our son can apply for high school at the right time then.
thanks

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

My husband and I are in the same position and we are moving back to the UK in 6 weeks. The house has sold and the tickets are booked so we are at the stage where there is no going back. My husband is English and I am a Kiwi and we have a 10 week old baby boy. We are getting the same negative comments as you, the job market is slow, huge UK debt, schools are rubbish blah blah blah. You just cannot listen to it! Everything is about perspective and if you are willing to make a go of things moving back will work because it has to:). I absolutely love England and English people and cannot wait to move over there, it fulfills a lifelong dream of mine. I am a history and culture lover and I have always struggled with NZ lack of both. As for moving to the UK being like child abuse, there are an awful lot of very brilliant English people who have shaped our world so a British childhood cannot be too bad:-). The way I see it my children will have access to travel, history, and culture that cannot be accessed in NZ and I do believe the education system is better over there, if just for the fact that NZers do not place a high value on intellectual accomplishments. As Shakespeare said "Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so". Best of luck:-).

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Most people we have told about our move have said what a great adventure it will be for the kids. We have loads of friends with kids in the UK and remarkably all the kids are well behaved, balanced and fun loving. I can't say I have ever heard anyone say anything like 'they talk about it like taking a child back to the UK is like child abuse.' That is absolutely absurd. 99.9% of kids in the UK are like anywhere else.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Thank you so much for your replies. I completely agree Kiwikiss that its about a perspective and if someone has a different one they can't understand why you wouldn't have the same one. I also really enjoy culture and history and really miss the access to it both in the UK and Europe.
However I have a friend who is English and is married to a kiwi who has always said she wants to move back, however after a recent visit said that it is quite grim and that she was out and about early in the morning, going for a run and no one else was unlike here, apart from a couple of teenagers smoking in the bus stop.
Although on the other hand we have family who feel that things are good, my brother said that the recession, although awful for lots of people obviously, has brought low interest rates for his mortgage, more competition for holidays etc and he goes away 3-4 times a year. He has two girls at school there and thinks their school is fantastic. As also is my 8 year old nephew, who is bright and confident.
I agree Chris that suggesting that bringing children up in the UK is like child abuse is absolutely absurd, but the reactions that I have had from people have really been absurd. Lots of "Oh I would never bring a child up in the UK, its not safe and the drinking culture is terrible" others have commented on the fact that I haven't been back for 3.5 years and don't know how bad it is, saying things like it is finished over there. I felt really awful because my 9 yr old son obviously heard us talking, although I have generally tried to keep him involved in the conversations within reason, I must have made a flippant comment about the child abuse thing. He came to me the day after and said I know that people say it is like child abuse, but I feel like its as bad to be away from all my other family. I felt awful and had to spend a long time back pedaling to explain to him what it meant and that unlike lots of other countries in the world, England is actually an affluent country with access to lots of things that he would benefit from, it just has a large population and some problems which result from that.
However for myself, I feel like having lived away for the past 8 years, as much as I have loved living in NZ, has given me a fresh appreciation for my own country and culture.
If it was just me I wouldn't give it a second thought.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Do you have your NZ citizenship? If not, might be a good idea to get hold of that before you consider leaving. It also means your future grandchildren should be NZ citizens.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

My two youngest are nz citizens and have nz passports. My DH and I and my eldest don't as we have indefinite residency and were told that it was the same thing and the only thing that nz citizenship would mean was being able to move to Oz if we wanted. It was such a lot of money when we looked into it that we didn't bother. Are you aware if this is not the case?

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

It is NOT the same thing. Who told you that??

In particular, indefinite visas can still be restricted or limited in some way if the NZ government feels like it.

Also, your eldest child's future children (ie, some of your grandchildren) will not be NZ citizens, if born back in the UK. Your other grandchildren will be NZ citizens. Not good to have that kind of division between your children.

On top of that, obviously you can't hold NZ passports if you're not citizens.

Read, etc:
http://britishexpats.com/wiki/Pros_a...nd_Citizenship

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

We have lots of friends in the UK and although some are surprised we are going most are excited and looking forward to it. NONE are unemployed and all of them seem to have the same standard of life they have always had. I was in the UK late last year and saw no evidence of the place some seem to talk about.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

We moved back from Wellington in 2010 but only lasted 10 months if we could have stayed we would and miss the Uk terribly but we struggled to find work. We went back to Cornwall where we have lived prior although to be fair we have lived in several places over the South of the UK. I also did not restrict the job search to SW but anywhere except london below the midlands. It does depend however what you do (I am a senior public sector accountant) we are now back in NZ in Auckand a place I never thought I would be working in a different area we are trying to holdon and build a little capital and stability but know in our heart of hearts we want to be in rural uk but where we have no idea!
Good luck to thhe OP heading back, I would be intrested in hearing your thoughts upon arriving.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Hi Janey I am think that we have a mutual acquaintence, she set up the dinner ladies at Torbay primary school. I may be wrong, but it sounds like a coincidence as she the details she provided of the person she knew are almost identical. She stated that she knew a family who had originally moved to Wellington and then moved back to Cornwall because of family, but didn't see any of them any way so didn't see the point and moved back. She used this to explain why I may be being naive in wanting to move back, that we often move for family and then don't see them any way. Not sure if this is you, but have realised more and more what a small place nz is.
For me family is obviously a big reason for moving back and as I currently speak with my mum every day and around 3 times a week (a bit sad I know, but she is my best friend). Now that she is returning I am not sure I can do without that, but I have been told by people that I am being very selfish and putting my needs above my children's.
However there are lots of other reasons for wanting to move back, I am just not sure that I want to be here permanently and if we didn't look at doing it soon it may too hard to move the children. There are so many things that I miss about the UK, the villages and the history being a big part of that. I live very close to you Janey and I never really wanted to live in a city but my husband would find it virtually impossible to get work in a smaller place and living here provides all the things for my children that I worried they couldn't get in the UK, although it is a bit like living in a middle class bubble.
I miss the access to Europe and being so far away and finding the cost of five flights back, means that pretty much all our holiday, both money and annual leave is spent on visiting, but we have only been back once. We will be back at xmas for a visit and look around to see what we think, then plan from there. It just doesn't seem good enough, if I could afford to go back every year it would be a lot easier, but we just can't find the almost 15K for flights alone.
However I do worry that I am being naive about how it really is over there, especially with the riots going on at the moment. Also that we wouldn't get a job. That is why my husband thinks I should go ahead of him with the children, to get them settled in school and to try to get a job. But that would mean living with my in-laws and I am not sure I could do that for long. It does may sense though, selling up here with all 3 children here would be really hard work and both needing to find a job would be really hard. Thankfully his parents had converted the upper part of their house into a flat from when my DH sister used to be there, so I could have a fair amount of privacy.
How did you find things when you were living over there, how did the schools compare?

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Chris this is exactly what my brother has said, he doesn't know anyone who has lost their jobs and they have a really good standard of living. He thinks that there has always been pockets of problems, but this is no different to how it has always been. Although I do have a friend who used to work with me until recently who has had to go back after two years of trying to set up in nz. His house in the uk would not sell and it had a clause in it that meant they were unable to rent it out. His wife is a property lawyer and 2/3 of the people in her office were made redundant. He was really upset at having to move back and felt that England was over for him and would often quote Daily Mail style horror stories to explain his feelings. Talking about all the immigration and problems in that way, when in actual fact just under 10% of the UK were not born there, where as in NZ the figure is around 23%.
My best friend has also been saying that they are struggling more to make ends meet recently, however I think that is a situation the world over with what has happened. NZ has always been a very expensive country and things are increasing in price. Inflation this year was almost 6% but I got a 1% pay rise over two years, whilst several people I know lost their jobs, this is the situation of the public sector where ever you are and I am sure it will change again.
Good grief I am ranting again, I think it is because I am just desperate to get these things out because my husband won't talk with me about it as he is agreeing to go back but isn't happy about it.
Thank you to everyone for your replies they are really helping.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Thank you for this, I think you are right that at least if we can get NZ citizenship then we are gifting that to my son and he can have the opportunity for himself and children if he wants it. It will also be useful for ourselves should we change our mind.

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

Hi MDD
I agere with you entirely, We put my son back in the same school he left, big mistake the school only had 50 pupils and he was constantly bullied upon his return, in the 7 months we were there I went up the school 4 times, what was more upsetting was these were so called friends who had kept in touch while we were in Wellington! The lady you met was not Jan was it? I did sit on the PTA at Torbay for a while.
Going back for me would be having to live near a city for a job um not sure I want that in the current climate, I know cities are big, I kknow not everyone has not been affected but DS is now nearly 11 he only needs to get into the wrong gang, here in sleepy Torbay I can not see a riot somehow! out of school activities such as scouts and sports keep him busy and I intend for that to continue as it keeps them out of trouble. Scouts here does seem tobe more than a weekly meet. PM me if you fancy a meet up for a chat
Jane

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

MDD
funny enough after writing the above you are the 2nd person that lives in Torbay that is from the UK and looking to go back! def small world

Re: ?move back the UK from NZ
 

I have lived in NZ for 10 years and have never really settled here. My two children are now grown up and left home, they live in different parts of the country and we hardly ever see them.

My husband who has always liked it here is now finally wanting to go back to UK, but I just feel that I can't go back as I feel guilty for bringing my two children here and now they have grown up going back to UK. We have talked a little about it with them and while neither of them wants to go back, as they have their own lives and friends, though neither of them have good jobs. They are not happy about us moving back to UK either.

I would advise to go back to UK while your children are young, otherwise you may end up in this situation.

The thought of growing old here fills me with dread.