weymouth1506

Hi all

I need some advice. I moved to florida with my husband at the end of october 2010. He works here i dont as i am only on a h4 visa. My problem is im very home sick i miss tv and the food here is disgusting. The first month was fine but now we have been here nearly three months i really dnt want to live here i want to return back to the uk. Is this long enough for me to realise this isnt for me??? I would like to hear from other people who are or have been in a similar situation as me. I have three children who also feel the same as me its only my husband that like it!! Help!!!!1

Elvira

I hope you guys discussed what you would do if one of you didn't manage to settle?

3 months may perhaps a bit early to throw in the towel. Can you give it another 6 months or so and re-evaluate?

Note that since your children are now considered resident in the US you are likely to need your husband's permission or a court order to remove them back to the UK. (I am mentioning this just in case it comes to that - better be forewarned... If you have any inkling that this might turn out to be an issue, you might want to seek legal advice sooner rather than later.)

Mummy in the foothills

So sorry you are having trouble settling. What foods are you missing, and what TV. Maybe we can help, after being her so long most of us know where to find things and how to watch UK TV online. So let us know. I know it isn't moving home, but if you have some of your comforts you may feel better, not to mention you've had your first Christmas here after only just arriving. ((hugs))

danfan

I'd stick it out a little longer... especially as this time of year can be rough away from home. I get homesick too so I feel for you!

p.s. I order some special treat foods from Amazon. Had to get in mince pies and terrys choc orange and christmas crackers.... it helps

Mummy in the foothills

I shop here often when I'm feeling home sick. Find the one nearest you.
http://www.worldmarket.com/storeLocator/index.jsp
Bisto
Birds custard
Digestive biscuits
Cadburys chocolates
Foxes biscuits
Beans
Curry
you name it.
Right now all the Christmas stuff is 75% off, we got boxes of foxes biccies, quality street, Mr Kipling christmas slices and mince pies

weymouth1506

Thanx all

Ive really struggled with food since coming here. I miss british tv so much, american tv drives me mad!! I really want to try and settle here but im just not feeling it. Im going back home to visit my family next month, is this to soon? And im also really bored and lonely in the day because i cant work its horrible.

Mummy in the foothills

The loneliness will get you. I only made friends cause I had little ones and had to do the baby stuff, La Leche League, preschool, Kindergarten etc.
My friend moved to New Jersey with her Dh before kids and was bored silly, she ended up volunteering out at a horse place that did therapeutic riding lessons for special needs kids. She loved it and it saved her sanity and made her some friends.
I'm up to date on Coronation street on You tube and other are watching Eastenders and other shows, you just have to search.
http://www.youtube.com/user/qg2010
I'll be watching todays episode after Dd goes to bed.

Brat1

I get you. You know, the first 6 months really is a challenge, especially if it's over Christmas and I feel your pain. Firstly, if you want british food, you will get it, somewhere, somehow, if you really want it. I'm lucky enough to have a shop 5 minutes away, where I can go if I need a "fix". As far as your Uk tv, I couldn't live without it, and there are plenty of threads of VPN's on here, which will allow you, some free, some for a charge, to access BBCiplayer and ITVplayer, where you will get all the british soap stuff which is probably what you're craving right now.

Is it tough?? Yes it can be. Does it get better, yes it does for most of us, but I'm sure there are people who make this move, who it just doesn't work for. Is 3 months enough time, absolutely not. We're here 11 months, just had our first Christmas, and please believe me, we've had a rocky road, but we knew it wouldn't be easy for the first 12-18 months and have made it through. Just think of it this way, exactly what is it you're missing from the UK??? Are you struggling with the H4 status. I have worked since I've been 17 years old. I'm now 41 and to be honest, not working has been a shock to the system, but it's what you make it. There are loads of volunteering posts out there if you're bored. What did you do back in the UK??

Listen, I really feel for you, but I feel it's far too soon to poo poo the idea of making this work, you must have thought this through before you took up this life?? Please believe me, what you are going through is totally normal, we've all been there and we all understand where you're coming from, especially those of us who are on an H4. I'm hoping SarahG will come along soon with some words of support. She has helped me immensely since we moved, she moved with herself and her family about 5 months before us and is also on an H4.

Don't give up. Don't go home for a visit, it's just too soon and hang on in there. We're all there to help and support you and you sound as if you need as much help as you can get. You are not alone.

Please PM me if you need any info on what it's been like for me on an H4 but in the meantime, there are really good guys on her who can help and they've been a Godsend to me.

Hang on in there. It's really not that bad

Portsmouthcouple

This site will help you out. It enables you to create a VPN connection to the UK network, then just browse for BBC i-player and you`ll be watching all your UK channels again, it`s brilliant, hope it works for you.

http://expatshield.com/

Sue

It will get better, I promise. Three months isn't long enough to feel settled and I'm sure at the moment you feel like a fish out of water. I have to say the first 12 months for me were the hardest. I too arrived on a H4, had a four year old son and only one car (which over here is quite difficult) but gradually things got easier. I think I cried nearly every day for those first few weeks and all I wanted to do was go home.

The best thing I did was some volunteering. At first I volunteered at my son's school and started to make friends with other mothers, then I felt I wanted to do something separate from my son and volunteered at a local non-profit, it was the best thing I could of done. I made new friends, and learnt new things and I never looked back.

Give it time and start by taking baby steps. Volunteer at your children's school for a couple of hours of week and see how that goes.

As for British TV if you don't have BBC America were you are try your local PBS station as they often show British TV programmes, and although they are quite often very old, they may help ease the homesickness a little

Most of all, know that you are not alone, we've all been there, and we know how you feel. Take each day one at a time and try and remember why you moved in the first place.

shirl

I download TV from here www.uknova.com - they only have a small membership but if you try a couple of times to join you may get lucky. It took me 3 attempts to get my membership and now I can download anything I fancy looking at! It does help sometimes to watch great british tv and at other times if I see a place I recognise I too get a little homesick!

Londonuck

Download the last few episodes of Eastenders. That'll cure you.

It sounds like you didnt want to go in the first place Weymouth?

Cant you tell your husband you're so homesick? Maybe think of it as a an adventure for a while. Remember, the UK isnt going anywhere

weymouth1506

I am going to stick at it as long as i can. And to be honest i didnt want to come out here in the first place but unfortunately my husband lost his job in the uk but managed to find work out here, i was working in a local hospital has a hca on the maternity ward, i have always worked and im extremely bored. I have managed to watch the soaps on you tube which to be fair is helping me through it. I realise i have to give it time and to be fair i did say i would give it at least 12 months. I miss my family so much my dad passed away suddenly a month before we moved which is difficult because my mum is really struggling. I do have brothers and a sister who are helping her through this but it still makes me feel guilty because i feel i should be there. Also i have a daughter in the uk who i miss like crazy. Its just so difficult.

Brat1

You know, you have so much going on in your head, that I think it's all just too much for you at the moment. You have several separate issues going on. Here's my theory.

First of all, you've only lost your dad 4 months ago, so you are still grieving. That alone is a hard thing to deal with, especially because you're carrying the burden of feeling guilty for leaving your mum. Your mum is being supported by your brothers and sisters, so at least you have the blessing that she is not alone. Have you got Skype. It's a great way to keep in touch with family back home and lets you see that they're ok. I couldn't do without it to be honest.

Secondly, you're missing your daughter. What age is she?? That again, is a perfectly natural thing to go through and I'd worry if you didn't miss her. I miss my parents dreadfully, but have to look past that or I'd go out of my mind. I know they're ok, I'm in touch with them all the time and I know that they support me and my OH in our decision to give this a go.

The boredom thing again, is another issue. I'm totally with you on this. To go from working 60 hours a week and run a household of 5, to not working, is extremely hard, and anyone on here knows that I have struggled with this and unfortunately, is one of the downsides of the H4!!! We are not alone. So, volunteering is the way to ease the boredom, or take up a hobby. Our local hospital is crying out for volunteers in all different areas. Have you looked in to that at your local one, might be an idea. I have gone back to my art which I never had time to do back home. I also plan to start interiors again, making roman blinds etc for the neighbours, give me something to do.

All in all, you are all in this together. Don't bottle it up, speak to your OH and tell him how you feel, maybe he doesn't realise that you're struggling so much. Also, Christmas and New Year away from home is not easy. This was our first and I was dreading it and also felt guilty that my parents weren't going to see the kids on Christmas Day, but we talked on Skype, they saw that the kids were having a blast and it made everyone feel better. You are not alone in this, so take it one day at a time. If in the next 8, 10 or 12 months you still feel the same or your feelings haven't improved, then maybe you would have to sit down and discuss whether your future lies here or back home. Give it time, try some different things to see if it lightens your mood. And remember, there are plenty of us on here for you to ofload your feelings to.

Chin up and hope you start for feel a bit better

weymouth1506

I do skype my family regularly and also keep in touch on facebook. I do have a lot on my plate at the moment and im sure in time things will sort them selves out. I have spoken to my OH about how i feel and he is being vey supportive. I am so glad that i posted on here as i was starting to feel very selfish for feeling this way. I will try and get some voluntary work to get me out the house everyday. As i said i have promised to give it a go and just see how i feel in 12 months.