mica painter

Hello all. I've been back in the UK for a few months now and so happy with our decision. I'm keen to make new friends and build our new life, we're living in a completely new area to where we've lived before and have no contacts here. Just wanted some ideas on how people made new connections when they moved back?
We've signed up to volunteer at a community farm and I've searched facebook for groups but all there are are buy and sell groups here. Thinking of finding some dog walking groups but really stuck for ideas to meet people similar in age and liberal mindset here. Lots of walking groups but the ages tend to be much older, we're in our 40's and 50's. Tried meetup.com but again not much in the area we are in. Seems harder to find friends when you get to this age as most people have families and meet up over their kids, but we are childfree. Any ideas welcome or if you are struggling too! Thanks.

Pulaski

It's definitely harder the older you are, but I think you're on the right track - seek out "interest groups" for activities you're interested in, or even things you might become interested in - so perhaps a group renovating a canal, or volunteering at a preservation railway, or classes to learn to play an instrument or dance, or ..... the list is more or less endless.

Lion in Winter

This may be a bit simplistic, but have you got a pub you can go to regularly that you like? I find them a good way to get chatting to people, even now.

I'm also guessing that it's easiest to meet people through work, so if you aren't working that might be a bit more tricky.

mica painter

There's some ideas in there I'd never have thought of so thanks! Will get my thinking cap on.

mica painter

Yeah good idea re the pub. We haven't found one we like yet, most around where we live are very posh for us and I get the impression they're opposite politically too but obviously I'm being judgemental, I guess it just takes time to get to know the area. I also work self employed which is pretty isolating but hopefully I can find some groups to join.

Johnboyuk

I think it is fair to say that when people travel extensively or move abroad, they become more open, cosmopolitan, and broad minded. In other words, you move on. When you move back to the UK, you are entering a land where most people live in a World of beer, football, Coronation Street, Emmerdale, and Strictly Come Dancing. If these subjects are not your thing, then you are limited. Of course, many Brits travel but for most it is getting as far as the swim-up bars in the Costas or Irish pubs in Cyprus. The only way out is to do as Pulaski says and look for special interest groups that you feel you are compatible with. Either that or emigrate again as many do.

Lion in Winter

I know what you mean about the self employed thing. We are looking for somewhere to land back in the UK in May, and I'm trying to avoid places that I know will be heavily very conservative or where views will be assumed (on things like brexit, immigrants, etc) that I just don't have or that will make me angry on a regular basis. Everyone's entitled to their views, but the odds of me making friends with them in the pub is pretty low.

Lion in Winter

Don't agree with this. For a start, many people in the UK have travelled a lot - it's never the case that "I left and travelled, but nobody else much did", or to assume that they just went to tourist beaches and that's that. The UK is a highly international place as well, depending a bit on where you live. London, of course, any big city, and many university towns.

Helen1964

If you have a liberal outlook you might find a bigger pool of likeminded people somewhere like Bristol or Stroud.
Did you move as originally planned to the Isle of Wight? I hate to generalise but will anyway. Anywhere that has a large population of older people is probably going to be quite conservative. I love my old mother dearly but she and her friends are somewhere to the right of Gengis Khan.

Pistolpete wrote some very good posts on this subject, specifically in relation to the south west. He liked lots of things about Weymouth - the weather, the sea, etc. - but socially he and his wife just couldn’t find much in common with the locals. I gather they were a mixture of born and bred people with little education who worked in low-skilled jobs and then other, much older, wealthy incomers who tended to vehemently oppose any kind of development, including the kind that might bring employment to the area.

It seems a shame that the country has become so starkly divided and that we can’t all just rub along with people whose views differ from our own but at least it makes it fairly easy to find a part of the country where you’ll fit in.

brits1

You have a very dry sense of humour lol

brits1

I have friends good friends from all walks of life who differ from each other in many ways and we all get along very nicely indeed maybe it comes down to your personality etc

mica painter

After spending the first few months on the Isle of Wight we quickly realised it's quite conservative like you said. Plus the cost of living there was so high, but glad we tested it out first. We ended up in Lincolnshire near Grantham as it's only an hour to London by train and the cost of rentals is about half that of the south. But living in rural areas is difficult to find liberal people. I'm hoping we'll meet the folk who commute to London and maybe venture to the neighbouring towns and cities where it's more diverse. We wanted to avoid the west mainly because of the wet weather that my Italian husband would hate!
I agree that it's a shame we've become so divided and maybe Brexit has played a part. A lot of us hardly talk to our families because of the way they voted.

mica painter

I agree with you so much! It's so hard to find the perfect place though, everywhere has it's downsides. I was drawn at first to living by the coast and explored the Isle of Wight but have come to realise that most of the places that we could afford are rundown, with high levels of poverty or a bit brexitty. We were in a local pub where we now live and could hear conversations about their admiration for the Royal family and people walked in wearing full-on hunting gear. I guess though it's about us all finding things we have in common and they talked a lot about their love of dogs which I tried to focus on instead. Where abouts are you thinking of moving to? Come to Grantham and we can hang out

Lion in Winter

Grantham? Birthplace of the she devil (Just joking, but I despise what Thatcher did to the country and the culture.)

We will need to be a bit further south initially, since I will need to be within striking distance of London for a 1 - 2 times a week trip in, and so on a good rail connection too (plus I will have to go to other places as well, and would prefer train over car when possible.) Been looking at Ipswich and Colchester, but the rental situation seems dire.

Helen1964

I have to confess Stamford Lincs is the only place I’ve ever lived that I really really disliked.
Buy your husband an umbrella and move to Northern Ireland. You’ll love it.