Little trips back?

Old Dec 9th 2007, 11:51 am
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Default Little trips back?

I am thinking I need a trip back to the U.K to sort my head out, some days all I can think about is being with someone or going someplace there , my head kinda realises that here offers us more (in our circumstances), but my heart just can't let go. I'd like to think that a trip back every now and then would help me immensely as I know we are not returning anytime soon (if ever)

So for those of you that have done them....did they help or hinder you????...and how did you justify the expense whilst earning Aussie Dollars (think I am looking at around $8,000???? for me and one child going for around 4 weeks) I will also dislike being indebted to my Husband for 'holding the fort' whilst I'm gone....isn't it all a bit selfish and self indulgent???

Jan *sigh*
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Old Dec 9th 2007, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by Jan3kids
I am thinking I need a trip back to the U.K to sort my head out, some days all I can think about is being with someone or going someplace there , my head kinda realises that here offers us more (in our circumstances), but my heart just can't let go. I'd like to think that a trip back every now and then would help me immensely as I know we are not returning anytime soon (if ever)

So for those of you that have done them....did they help or hinder you????...and how did you justify the expense whilst earning Aussie Dollars (think I am looking at around $8,000???? for me and one child going for around 4 weeks) I will also dislike being indebted to my Husband for 'holding the fort' whilst I'm gone....isn't it all a bit selfish and self indulgent???

Jan *sigh*
Going back helped me, but helped me decide that i know i should be there and not here.
Going back with Dollars was painful. The money gets you jack sh*t. It was heartbreaking parting with $1000 and only getting back between 380 and 420...(depending on which exchange rate you use).

Dollars mean alot to me in OZ, every penny (cent lol) counts, but in UK it seemed so cheap and the money spread further.

It's just such along way and so expensive to be able to justify spending that sort of money once or twice a year.
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Old Dec 9th 2007, 1:41 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by Jan3kids
I am thinking I need a trip back to the U.K to sort my head out, some days all I can think about is being with someone or going someplace there , my head kinda realises that here offers us more (in our circumstances), but my heart just can't let go. I'd like to think that a trip back every now and then would help me immensely as I know we are not returning anytime soon (if ever)

So for those of you that have done them....did they help or hinder you????...and how did you justify the expense whilst earning Aussie Dollars (think I am looking at around $8,000???? for me and one child going for around 4 weeks) I will also dislike being indebted to my Husband for 'holding the fort' whilst I'm gone....isn't it all a bit selfish and self indulgent???

Jan *sigh*
We were here for 7 years before we went back (4 of us it cost a small fortune) we were plodding on here and was trying to get on with it....but our visit home was just that..it made us feel like we belonged and we have never felt that way in Aus...we came back and tried to get on with things...we were building a new home etc....but we felt even more out of place..but we kept on trying as we thought it would be like when you have had a fab holiday and now back to the grindstone so to speak...we moved into our new home Dec 06 but there was no great "joy" so we decided to go home and see if it was just a holiday thing...we used all of our money and stayed for 9 weeks...we used all the public transport...bought our own food....paid for our "bills" etc....it killed us money wise but we just had to see if we could live back home....and it was the best thing we ever did...it worked out far cheaper...we had a better lifestyle in lots of ways we did not realise before coming to Aus...and now we are going back...it would be easier to stay here financially but that is not everything...and because we used up our saving on our last visit...we will be counting pennies...but we now know it is where you are happiest that really counts....the old "life to short" etc does mean something...this feeling never really left us..this homesickness...we just kept "kicking it under the carpet" but for us thats no way to live...different for everybody....are you shelfish to go home..no...I would go on my own if I had to....we all deserve a little pleasure in life....the thought of us staying here fo ever is what makes us want to go....we just could not contemplate that thought....nothing towards Aus...just how we feel.
Take care and good luck
Jackie
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Old Dec 9th 2007, 1:47 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

[QUOTE=Jan3kids;5650993]

Hi Jan,

I was in your situation of January of this year having been in Melbourne for only 4 months with OH and our two children, then 3 and 1. I can honestly say, I had never felt so unhappy. I tried everything to settle but I could just not let go of what I had left in the UK, I had to go back and took our children with OH's blessing, a very expensive trip, but worth every penny. It made me realise that I like Australia, as a holiday destination, but it's not where I would like to live longterm, for today anyway.

I returned with a different attitude. I am trying to make the most of each day especially before the children start School. We are moving to Sydney in February and we are aiming to be home in the UK in July 08, it's just where I feel I belong and our children have a fantastic network of family, my OH works for himself over there too, so work is good. Going back helped me let go, but looking back was an extreme and very expensive thing to do, I guess only you can make that decision, good luck, ann x do webcams help you at all? know exactley how you feel, pm if you want a chat with your number x
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 2:56 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by Jan3kids
I am thinking I need a trip back to the U.K to sort my head out, some days all I can think about is being with someone or going someplace there , my head kinda realises that here offers us more (in our circumstances), but my heart just can't let go. I'd like to think that a trip back every now and then would help me immensely as I know we are not returning anytime soon (if ever)

So for those of you that have done them....did they help or hinder you????...and how did you justify the expense whilst earning Aussie Dollars (think I am looking at around $8,000???? for me and one child going for around 4 weeks) I will also dislike being indebted to my Husband for 'holding the fort' whilst I'm gone....isn't it all a bit selfish and self indulgent???

Jan *sigh*
I'm off to the UK in Feb for a couple of weeks...on my own...no kids, no OH...heaven! Yes, he'll have to do the Dad bit and stay home to care for them. Somehow, he always appreciates me just that little bit more when I get back

I've lived here in perth for 3.5 years. I have been swinging backwards and forwards between returning and staying for 3.5 years (I want to go home, OH wants to stay here). All very tiring and taxing on the old emotions.

So, to keep my sanity, I take regular trips home to get my fix.The last time I went back for a month, and after three weeks, I was ready to come back here. Trouble is, the homesickness returned after a month or two of being back here so it's not a long term 'fix'.

Yes, it is costly, but if that is what is needed to help you cope, then do it if you can.
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Old Dec 10th 2007, 4:42 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

I go home quite regularly for my sanity. Since my parents can no longer come here for half the year, which is what they did for the first 15 years of their retirement, I go home at least once a year, sometimes every 10 months or so. I usually leave the DH at home (he doesnt like to travel) and our kids are grown and gone - one actually lives in UK now. Sure it costs a lot but my mental is worth it I reckon. I usually stay with the aged rellies (or the son) and borrow one of my parents' cars for the duration then I hop off occasionally to visit friends who all insist that I stay with them although I do frequent the Travelodge with their very cheap deals when I can. Best thing I ever did was to join Frequent Flyers and next year DH and I both go in July for a princely $1300 return (the two of us - just the taxes). I will be going in December 2008 as well for an event with the DS.

Should say that I have been here going on 29 years now and my heart has never been here despite what my head tells me. I reckon if DH wont go back to live then he has to live with me doing what I need in order to be able to survive being here for the rest of the time. (Married to an Aussie and though we didnt come here until we had been married for 5+ years I never thought we would stay here for ever and ever but he now wont leave and I cant really be bothered with training up a new H!!!)

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Old Dec 10th 2007, 8:59 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

I stuck it out for two years before I went back. That convinced me that my heart is there not here (Brisbane) and I promised myself that I would go back each year. I'm quite happy going on my own, The Bloke's home is here and thats where his comfort zone is.
The trips help me deal with Aus and with the being apart - before I leave there each time I have planned when i will go back,; also helps friends and family as they know when they'll see me again. I can shop by mail order and pick it up at my sister's place when I get there, take the minimum with me and fill the bags with stuff to keep me going. Its my bit of sanity, and its my lovely cold part of the year - Queensland swelters in February so I get on the plane for three weeks
I think it also helps to reconcile me to living here. Cos its The Bloke's home, we will never move back to the UK, so my trips are a compromise - I live to the max for three weeks each year, and the pleasure and anticipation of the next trip do wonders for my attitdue towards being here. Bwteen March and Christmas I mark time, In January I pack and in february I fly.
Might not work for everyone but sure does for me.
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Old Dec 11th 2007, 12:07 am
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Thumbs up Re: Little trips back?

Thanks for taking the time and sharing your views,it's always good to hear others view points in such a unique situation.

Personally I'd be happy with every 2 years or so for a 'fix'. It's just that money is stretched already and I can't help thinking that any savings should go towards making the house more our home *sigh*....but as a few of you have mentioned it's these trips that keep you sane, I feel it would help me no end.... Happy Mum, Happy Home etc....
I'm just a little scared of what I will feel when I see it all again Will I be shocked if nothing has changed, will I be sad if it's all gone 'Daily Mail', will I feel as if I am a different person from my friends after being through the minefield of emotions generated by emigrating?I think alot of what I miss are just places that 'used to' exist....more like memories of a particular era in my life???? hope I'm not coming across as weird here LOL! I'm not even completely sure why I want to be there, it's just a pull from within.
I feel almost naughty looking at flights even though my Husband said he would support me if that's what I need to do..... I just hope that it doesn't become an expensive addiction

Thanks Again and good luck to those with either escape plans in place or those seeking peace from personal dilemmas,

Jan x
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Old Dec 22nd 2007, 11:55 am
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Jan sorry to her you are feeling rough - I thought things had picked up for you lately.

Is this a bit of Christmas blues - I know we are feeling it all at the moment.

We went back for our first visit in July this year after virtually exactly 2 years. It was so worth it, downside was that it really screwed with all our heads. We had a fantastic time and I can honestly say none of us wanting to come back at the end of it. We had to keep reminding ourselves that we were on holiday there and we probably did a couple of years worth of stuff in 2 weeks. We are all straight again now, but I still couldn't tell you where we will be in 5 years time!

I think you should try to find the cheapest flights you can (try out of prime times) and book early and try to pay off as much as you can on it during the wait - we (all 4 of us) went back in July (booked the previous October) for around $7400, booked through zuji with Cathay Pacific and took a couple of days in Hong Kong.

Yes it is expensive but sooo worth it - and I bet it would be lovely for your UK rellies and friends to meet your little Aussie If you book early at least you have a definite date in your head to focus on too.

Give me a shout if you want a chat - you know where I am! Hoping to get up you way sometime in the next year or so, I'll let you know so you can get the kettle on!!

Nikki
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Old Dec 22nd 2007, 1:09 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by mysnix
We went back for our first visit in July this year after virtually exactly 2 years. It was so worth it, downside was that it really screwed with all our heads. We had a fantastic time and I can honestly say none of us wanting to come back at the end of it. We had to keep reminding ourselves that we were on holiday there and we probably did a couple of years worth of stuff in 2 weeks. We are all straight again now, but I still couldn't tell you where we will be in 5 years time!
Hi Jan

I soo know where you are coming from, I had to do a last minute month back earlier this year (without kids) for my sanity. Felt really guilty about being selfish, but felt like I was going round the twist I was so homesick. Thankfully my mum paid for the ticket as we were broke at the time.

I agere with what Nikki has said above. You will probably have a ball. The flipside is that every time you go back it can almost make things worse, not better, in that it makes you more confused than before! It can also be unsettling. Every time I've gone back for a holiday, it has taken me a good few months to settle back in here (even if I've been adamant that 'home' is now Australia following the visit).

*sigh* it's a tough one, but one thing, despite the confusion, homesickness etc that follows, I never regret going back to see everyone. It's worth it!

Hope you work things out.

Faye xx
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Old Dec 22nd 2007, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by rabsody
Hi Jan

I soo know where you are coming from, I had to do a last minute month back earlier this year (without kids) for my sanity. Felt really guilty about being selfish, but felt like I was going round the twist I was so homesick. Thankfully my mum paid for the ticket as we were broke at the time.

I agere with what Nikki has said above. You will probably have a ball. The flipside is that every time you go back it can almost make things worse, not better, in that it makes you more confused than before! It can also be unsettling. Every time I've gone back for a holiday, it has taken me a good few months to settle back in here (even if I've been adamant that 'home' is now Australia following the visit).

*sigh* it's a tough one, but one thing, despite the confusion, homesickness etc that follows, I never regret going back to see everyone. It's worth it!

Hope you work things out.

Faye xx
I would say that when we went back for our first visit in 7 years (and we had waited that long to give Aus a good go!!!) I was amazed at how we all just felt at home there.....it was so good....when we arrived back it was horrible took us months to settle down again...but it really made us look at what we wanted in life.....2 years later we went back for 9 weeks...we treated it as least like a holiday as we could...we paid our bills....food...petrol....my husband even went to work for his father (not paid work) just to see how it felt getting up in the mornings and going off to work.....it was an even better experience.....so we are going home next year....we have to sell our home first....it has been the hardest period in my life really.....I would not wish it on anybody....but now we have made the decision...we are glad...I feel good about going and now just want to get home asap...for me and the children...people do things there own way and come to some conclusion one way or another.....nearly 10 years here....not all bad by any means but home is home.....to some....anyway...
Good luck...take care and to everyone out there hope you have a lovely Christmas......
Jackie
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Old Dec 28th 2007, 7:17 am
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Default Re: Little trips back?

little trips back = good idea

be good to put things in perspective.. if you know what I mean
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Old Dec 29th 2007, 9:01 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

I'm currently considering a trip back home, because of peoplesickness, around June time, whether it's a wise move or not only time will tell. C x
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Old Dec 31st 2007, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: Little trips back?

Originally Posted by TraceyW
I'm off to the UK in Feb for a couple of weeks...on my own...no kids, no OH...heaven! Yes, he'll have to do the Dad bit and stay home to care for them. Somehow, he always appreciates me just that little bit more when I get back

I've lived here in perth for 3.5 years. I have been swinging backwards and forwards between returning and staying for 3.5 years (I want to go home, OH wants to stay here). All very tiring and taxing on the old emotions.

So, to keep my sanity, I take regular trips home to get my fix.The last time I went back for a month, and after three weeks, I was ready to come back here. Trouble is, the homesickness returned after a month or two of being back here so it's not a long term 'fix'.

Yes, it is costly, but if that is what is needed to help you cope, then do it if you can.
know how you feel I have been doing that journey for over 40 years now,but have got to say it gets harder on the old bones these days !!!!!!! still I will continue to do so for as long as I can,it keeps me sane
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Old Jan 4th 2008, 9:10 am
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Default Re: Little trips back?

We came back to the Uk for homesickness and soon looked at the place, well what a shit hole the uk is, perth or any part in oz is far better, Uk is a dark hole. Glad im back in perth where the sun is shining.
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