Maz1

Hi, I've been here 2 1/2 years now and I knew from the moment I stepped off the plane that it wasnt for me. When people ask me if I like it here and I say no they are really surprised at my answer - well they asked and I gave it to them straight. Some of the looks I get. It has drained the life out of me. My closest friends are English. If it wasnt for them I would have gone nuts. For all that there is a lot to do in NZ, its mainly one day wonders. Going on holiday is a luxury cos its so expensive, even though Fiji is but a few hours away we've never been. Dont get me wrong, we can afford to go but then I think if we go back to the UK (fingers crossed) I would rather use the funds to do that than have a week away. Being soooo far away from home makes one realise how much we took for granted. Family, good humour, bars, parties etc. People on the NZ forum make this place sound fantastic, and to some it may be and good luck to them but for those who have not taken to the place then let us have or say rather than getting a mouth full. eg get back home then, why did you come. I am not saying I hate this place, its just not for me. Well thats my little rant over with, its good to know that there are other folk feeling the same. Whatever any of you decide to do whether stay or go good luck to you all.

janeyk

its nice to know its no just us, I would say I have a different expereince in wellington of the Education my son has learnt more in the last 10 months than he did the previous 10 months but Cornish school education is not brilliant I think more its the roller coaster of emotions, yesterday I turned a big 0 birthday and although being this new decade does not bother me I just did not want to celebrate it here! OH thought it would be good after an extremley stressful day at work for me to paint 2 walls well you can imagine what I said!
Work was not the same on your birthday as well in the UK it was celebrated here it just went unnoticed I brought in some goodies and was looked at really strange oh I was there was a teleporter that could transfer me back in time, I do not want to have to go through all the stress of job hunting moving, organising etc again as in will undoubtly fall on my shoulders once more! enough moaning! good to hear its not just me

sidneyowes

It's amazing how many people are in the same boat isn't it and once you get started on reasons it's difficult to stop. I don't think you are whinging at all. I think it is the future for us too that we worry about. I know we work a lot harder, more hours, than we did back in the UK and then a trip to the dentist seems like a luxury and you really question whether you need to go! My husband works within health and says there's not too much to look forward to getting old here! Scary thought! We've been looking at work back home too and there's not too much about. As far as the houses go, we built a new house for that reason as so many seemed like caravans and freezing cold. Wish we could have afforded to put in central heating though!

kooga61

Hi, I've been here for 11 years now. Up until about a year ago I felt pretty content. We had to really struggle with crap jobs and wages for the first 3 years. Then my wife got a good job at the uni' and it allowed me to try a new vocation. For the next 7 years times were good, although we still couldn't afford a decent holiday.

Our eldest son never really fitted in, he had aspegers, and was bullied because of it. He went back 3 years ago.

Last year my wife lost her job, and there wasn't a chance of getting the same type of job or money. So, we bit the bullet and struggled through the next year on one wage so my wife could finish her degree. Unfortunately with the ecconomic turn down, all the jobs associated with her degree have dried up. So my wife has had to go back to her original trade to make ends meet, and is doing her masters part time.

My job is with the government and Mr Key is putting a big squeeze on public spending, so my job is precarious.

The other two kids are reasonably happy.

But I'm starting to miss home badly. I was the one who pushed to get out here, but i'm starting to think that I've been here long enough. Things that didn't seem to bother me in the early years are really now getting me down. The things I missed at the start of all this I still miss. And some things I never dreamed I'd miss I now do.

There is no doubt that my wife probably wouldn't have had a chance to do her degree if we had stayed in the UK (the Uni' payed her fees whilst she worked there), and I probably wouldn't have had the opportunity to change jobs either. So in some respects NZ has been a good experience.

But just now at this very moment if you gave me a chance to swop houses with someone from my old village in the UK, I'd bite their hand off.

Rodfan

Still feeling unsettled after 11yrs must be hard, I think you just know when a place is not for you though. If you don't mind me asking how old are you both? we have been in OZ 4yrs and not settled, but does not seem a good time to move back to U.K. just now, we are late 40's so cant hang on too much longer either

kooga61

Same age as you actually. I think I was more settled when we both had good jobs, and everything seemed to be falling into place. But what with our eldest going back, my wifes job going, my job becoming uncertain and issues in NZ getting worse (crime, drugs, abuse, violence....and Maori claiming for everything and every body else picking up the tab). Pollitical correctness gone mad.....you can't complain or have your say without being told you're a whinging Pom.

I just feel I've been hitting my head against the brick wall for too long, I'm fed up and want to go home. I just hope once I get there (uk), that it hasn't changed TOO much.

Dewb09

Thanks for your total honesty
I am on the other side of the coin where I am preparing to go but I found this thread to be a really good eye opener.

It can seem all so idyllic when it is just a dream & no one really wants to say (admit) otherwise.

I guess the "dream" will not work out for everyone but your frank accounts of how you found the reality of it are informative not whingy

I will still give it a go to see how it pans out for us

Good luck with relocating

Dewb

kooga61

Mate, I would never try to put anybody off trying NZ or any other country. If nothing else it opens your eyes to other countries and cultures. And it's better to have been here and seen it for myself, than sit at home and say "I could have done that but...."

Yes ok, so in the end it may not have worked out for us, and I suppose some people would say you could have saved a lot of time, heartache and money by staying at home, but it would have eaten at me if I hadn't at least tried.

The funny thing is, before we left, I met an old school friend, who had been in Australia for a few years and had just come back. I asked him why he came back and was he mad! He said "It was my dream to go there, and I did, but it isn't where my heart is, and I needed to go there to find out that here (the UK) is where I belong". I thought at the time he was going soft in the head, but now I can see where he's coming from.

Food for thought! Good luck and give it a go, but DONT sell your house (if you have one), rent it out, and give it at least 3 years.

janeyk

You have to move for a better life if you don't it does not work, we looking back had a lovely life in the UK in Cornwall had we been in a UK city perhaps we would see life diffrently. For us we are glad we tried it, regret selling our house but and this is a big but we would have struggled to rent it and then severally struggled here. We both work full time here and financially ok although would struggle to go anywhere far for hols. Every country has its issues and at the end of the day what you see as untenable in one palce actually on reflection might ot be bad once you try something new. As soon as we can sell up/get a job we are returning back to Cornwall and I do not see it as an easy option but its made me see whats really important in life and thats my close family they are my no1 priority regardsless of status, career etc etc of what other immediate family think
i shal always say we tried we learnt we didn't want to stay but its was an enrichment otherwise we would never had albeit an expensive one!

Dewb09

Thank you very much
your absolutely right we have to give it a go & find out for ourselves.
At least you can say you did try it and followed your dream, much better than wondering about the what if!

I am worried that my heart will always be in the UK especially as I am leaving older kids behind

Thanks again
Dewb

Kija

Ditto

Kija

We're trying to get to NZ. Volumes could be written about what's wrong with where we currently are so as I see it we've nothing much to lose by giving it a try. I am worried about not being able to make ends meet there though, that's my biggest concern.

I think those of you who advise against selling houses are correct. It's best to have a plan B just in case.

I was just discussing this with my husband today and the both of us don't want to come back here if we do get out, our plan B would be somewhere else. So as you can see in our case, it's basically "anywhere but here!".

Utopia doesn't exist anywhere but I always believe there are things you can live with and things you can't and this is different for every person. Those of you who gave it a try and didn't find it right for you I still think at least you gave it a try, I too would hate living with "what if". You also tried something different and were exposed to a different culture, lots of good things in that alone. I'm a firm believer that money comes and goes and it's made to be spent, those of you who spent it moving to NZ to discover it wasn't for you didn't waste money, you spent money gaining new experiences and not having to live with "what if", money can be recuperated, "what ifs" eat away at you.

Almost forgot to say thank you very much everyone who shared their stories and experiences with us here and wishing you the very best of luck whatever your choices are

kooga61

No sweat glad to help.

But please could you tell me what gets under your skin about the UK. As I've said before, we have been away for a long time, and our idea of "home" may not exist any more in the real world.

Don't hold back, it is better to get info' warts and all.

By the way, and I've advised this before and it works. If/when you guys finally leave the UK. BEFORE you leave, write out a list of advantages and disadvantages for BOTH the UK and NZ. When you get here, put the list in an easy to find place (on the front of the fridge was mine). You will at some stage question your decision, and believe me you will. Look at the list, compare the lists, at a glance you'll see why you came out here, and why you left. Over time you might start to cross of some of the advantages/ disadvantages (eg - you thought that NZ would have a better educational system for kids....and it didn't. That sort of thing).

When you feel low, it helps polarise things. I don't think there are too many people who can honestly say they don't get homesick at some stage....it might take a while, maybe years , but it will happen.

Just one more thing to think about. Even if you can't wait to leave and don't think you'll want to come back, and intend to sell your house, bear this in mind. In our experience house prices (even in Auckland) for the last 10 years have NOT gone up at the same rate as house prices at home. In our case, the house we originally wanted here would have been about $200,000 and our house in the UK was worth £65,000. Now as I said before we rented ours out for 5 - 6 years, in that time the NZ property went up to $260,000, but our UK property was worth £147,000!!! Now I know we sold at the right time, but that shows you how things can vary (just bare in mind this is an example, and is area specific). Like us you could end up not having a mortgage just purely by holding on for a while.

I don't intend to sell my property here before we leave (although I've yet to talk this over with my lawyer or accountant). I intend to go back for a year or two (yes with my little list! lol) to try it out. I know I may loose a bit of money, but I'm determined that this, one way or the other, will be the final move I make.

Hope the advise makes sense, and you find it useful.

Live the dream, but keep your mind open as well as your eyes.

Kooga

hudd

kooga61

I agreed with your recommendation of not selling your house if you can afford not to. We moved to Canada and initially had a very hard time and the reason we stayed was selling up and losing real estate value over 8 years.

We bite the bullet in 2005 and moved back home. I managed to get senior role back in the UK, but had to take out a mortgage until I am 60. So I will be paying a mortgage 20 years longer than if I had not moved to Canada.

My wife and I have talked about working overseas again when our sons are at Uni, but will keep our house in Kent. I can see working overseas on short term assignments with my wife.

I understand where your friend was coming from about "where your heart is" who moved to Australia. We found that we felt we did not belong in Canada and returned to the UK after 8.5 years.

I would not tell anyone not to move overseas, but would be honest about the risks of leaving the UK and moving to a foreign country.

hudd

janeyk

60 I wish! even in the UK our mortgage was until we were 65 we will have to work until 67 to get our state pension both of us just fell after the cut off point in NZ 65 no let up for the wicked! parents are currenlty enjoying any inheritance we may have had and good luck to them I shall once retired do the same!