essexnick

I guess I am writing this post because I need to write out my thoughts. Also, to know if anyone is or was in a similar situation.

Long story short, I moved to California 16 years ago from Essex, England to marry an American. We got divorced 4 years ago. No kids. Just 1 dog that I have now. I also have my US Passport and UK Passport.
Financially I have a nice little bit of savings and could move back to England and afford to not work for say 2 years. Obviously i'll want to work as soon as possible.

I live in Sonoma County(about 1 hr north of San Francisco) and its very beautiful part of America. But here is a list of my issues living here:

• It's very very very expensive to buy or rent
• Groceries are expensive compared to England. $4 for a loaf of bread? Seriously?
• Going on holiday is expensive to book a hotel or fly.
  I am amazed of the cheap deals my dad and brother get to go to Spain, Canaries, Greece etc
• I don't see how I can retire here. I would have to live in another state.
• Dating in general is tough at 43. Most people have kids, or don't know what they want or are just too busy. Many people in the bay area have two jobs to make it work. Which is madness.
• Earthquakes, fires and floods
• Underlying tension of the gun culture plays on my mind when going to live events. See today's news about a shooting at a Garlic Festival in Gilroy, CA.
• I have no family here
• The friends I have are too busy working or house projects or kids etc
• Healthcare is not free and costs per co pay etc
• I am sick of the attitude towards earning sick days
• I get 15 days vacation which is considered good in America.
  My brother just got a new job in London that gives you 30 days + 8 Bank Holiday. My American friend just moved to London and now gets 28 days holiday pay.
  This seriously is my biggest gripe with America. It's all work an hardly any play. Corporate slavery.
  No wonder so many Americans are seeing therapists or on some kind of medication just to keep going here. They work you to the bone.

But, but..... I do like going to the beach every weekend with my dog and the weather is nice. But, I am suffering from loneliness and I am mentally and physically burned out from working all the time. And I don't see how I can sustain this as I get older.

Has anyone gone through this argument in their head before deciding to leave? Did you leave and now find life better in the UK.? Do you feel the same if you live in America still?
I know I have to give up certain things by moving back to England. But, I know I will gain other things in my life like my family, friends, life\work balance and that is important to my health.

SanDiegogirl

Loads of folks have gone through the thoughts you are expressing - US citizens thinking of moving out of state because of the issues you have given, never mind Europeans thinking of moving back to Europe.
Every time hubby and I visit the UK/Europe we always have 'homesickness' when we return to the US. We do like a varied climate (sun every day can be extremely boring) and we miss the colour green! Also the culture of Europe. We have a small family in the UK, but a lot of our earlier friends have moved overseas as well.
However, we have been here in SD for 20 years (and are retired) and cannot see ourselves moving back in the near future.
Feeling like you do, and at your age, we WOULD make the move to return.

Evenstar120

bromleygirl

You sound like me 6 years ago! I had gone back to the States to try California - long story, but had previously lived in Wyoming/Minnesota for 8 years before, then Cambridge, UK for 6 and then went to CA and after 3 years I had had enough. My biggest gripe was the complete lack of time. Being a single parent, surviving on 1 week of vacation and 1 week of sick per year wasn't working especially when my daughter became unwell and I needed to use my vacation to take her to appts. Plus when you add on the gun crime and health insurance situation and lack of seasons, after 3 years I was ready to come back. I can honestly say I have my sanity and peace of mind back! Would you come back to Essex? I would say if you are going to do it make the move now. I brought my dog back with me, very easy to do and he flew with us on the same flight back and he is loving being in the countryside :-)

scrubbedexpat099

When was the last time you went back? If not recently I would do that first, things change and certainly in 16 years change a lot.

sherbert

I have all those things ... and much more on my list of issues. The natural beauty and superb weather of NorCal can only paste over the cracks for so long. However, Boiler is right, go back to the UK for a bit and see how things feel before committing to move back. I briefly considered moving to London but now with impending Brexit and the Boris fiasco, there's no way I'd make that leap.

morpeth

Health care costs, amount of vacation time, ability to travel inexpensively to Europe,​​ often easier work environment,​​​​ all strong positives being in UK.

you live in expensive part of depending USA, on which part of UK, you might find no savings on property, and i dont find food costs inexpensive in UK

there is of course unknown effect of brexit.

Cape Blue

Find yourself a new bird.
Ask your employer for more PTO.
Grass is always greener.

Moses2013

In the case of California the grass is greener elsewhere, especially if you pick the right area.
Go for a greener area near the coast, search jobs online (LinkedIn), apply and once you have the job you move. No need to use up the savings.

civilservant

Have you considered moving to another state rather than leaving all together? There's another 49 out there to choose from and in most of them your money will go a lot further.

BritInParis

robtuck

Come to Georgia - choose the right bit and it's lovely, or maybe some of the more Cosmopolitan bits of the Carolina's.

The post above was my thought - you are comparing two different fruits,and probably one of them through a rose tinted lens. Popping to Spain on the cheap is no different to popping to Southern Florida for a bit (in many ways these days), or maybe Puerto Rico, or Mexico etc. Pop North into the Eastern States for a different type of culture on low cost flights, or drive.

To get what you are looking for from the UK, you will also be paying a Premium - average house prices in the South East have sky rocketed in the past 16 years, even allowing for any Brexit impact that might occur. My brother spends as much on rent for a 2 bed flat in Peckham as I spend on a mortgage for a 5 bed in Metro Atlanta.

The Holiday time thing is a real issue, granted, but the right employers will offer more these days, call it the Google impact. Competition for employees means these types of benefits are becoming more sought after.

Healthcare - umm, I'll give the UK that one.

Finally, the kicker, come South of Atlanta and you'll be unique (sort of), the accent will paper over any number of cracks with quite a few. I'm generally not a people person, but they often call me sweet, and no, for those that know, not in a Bless Your Heart type of way :-)

civilservant

Same is also true if you head north and get past Buford

Cape Blue

One thing the OP will already know for sure is that when it comes to the US - west is best!

sherbert

Except that popping to Spain takes 2 hours and costs pennies and 'popping to Florida' costs several hundred dollars and takes 6 hours direct + 3 hours of time difference so basically you either take the red eye and get there completely f-ed or you lose an entire day. There's no 'popping' to Puerto Rico either, since there are no direct flights from any of the Bay Area airports and the last time I went, my flight cost over $800 (cattle class) and took me 12 hours. It's often cheaper to fly to UK/Europe on the low cost airlines than it is to get to the east coast. And of course there's actually getting to the airport. OP lives in Sonoma county. It would take him at least 2.5 hours to get to SFO on a good day, 2 to OAK. The distances here are huge and the traffic abysmal so getting anywhere takes forever. Sonoma County to Yosemite? 5 hours one way with no traffic. Pop down to LA? Anywhere from 6 -9 hours depending on the traffic. Fancy a trip to Portland, Oregon? That's an 11 hour drive one way. Not exactly a weekend trip. I've done that drive in one day and it killed me. I live 12 miles from the coast: takes me at least an hour unless I go at 8-9pm.

Sure, but you do not understand Bay Area prices and the cost of living in California in general. I pay well over $3k a month for a 2 bed/one bath and that's a good deal.

Unlimited time off is very common in Silicon Valley. However, it's a bot of con. Unlimited does not mean unlimited. Your manager has to approve all your time off and your holidays are at the discretion of your manager. At least with a designated amount of time off you are entitled to it.