Barbara B.

After ten years away, we are thinking of a return to the UK, not sure where to in the UK as yet. Our reasons for returning are a yearning to be near friendly, individual, eccentric, varied Brits of all types of background after ten years in the homogenized cultural wasteland of the country I am in. Plus cost of staying healthy, cost of living, and educational prospects for our teenagers.

Work is available in the area we can work in, just a case of wading through the job applications.

Whenever we have contact with people in the UK, speaking to the authorities or on visits, we are struck by how bright and kind they are. We left England because the area we had been planted in had spiraling crime and lots of civil disorder, and we wanted a 'higher' standard of living. I suppose we were being greedy, snobby even. We saw a way out and went for it. Now I am beginning to think there were certain aspects of the British Isles persona we were not appreciating, and it took these long years in aforementioned cultural wasteland to open our eyes to how warm the Brits are.

No, we couldn't have our cake and eat it.

I just got off the phone to a doctor's receptionist in England, trying to trace up an old file, and I was shocked and in tears: she was so nice, so personal, it was like we had known each other for years, and from what I remember, doctor's receptionists in the UK were known for being grumpy and unhelpful. It must all be relative. An expat friend of mine here in the country I am living in right now took her autistic son to have his spectacles fixed yesterday, the receptionist mocked him for being unable to give his name correctly. "Don't you know your own name?" This is standard rudeness here. So cold, so insensitive.

I miss England! But have I just forgotten how ##### it is? Would it take an extended break to appreciate it again? Other members of my family have been expatriated for years in quite gorgeous places and in the end they all went 'back'. Number one reason they seemed to give was that they missed things like curry and pork pies. Is it really that simple?

It's like the Brits 'get' each other, no matter if they are from the North or the South...or am I just imagining that after a long time away?

The chav culture worries me, but is that the price to pay for what is a vibrant and lively place with heart? We were victims of a lot of mindless bored crimes during our years in the UK. I can remember trying to avoid eye contact with gangs, that sort of stuff. Is it still that 'bad'? Loads of yoofs aimless and lost.

I have some questions about healthcare in the UK I hope someone can help me answer.

Children and spectacles: what is the average cost for under 16's to get their glasses in the UK? Do children pay prescription costs for medication? What about dentistry?

I have various health challenges that are not being addressed due to the next to useless health system of the place I live in, long waiting lists for scans etc (a YEAR wait in one instance) and very high prescription charges.I hope to be able to get hope, help with the pain, maybe even a cure at a level that we can afford. What are the prescription charges like in the UK right now? Are they based on income? Is there a one off yearly payment one can make and then get rebates? One of our family has asthma and we are struggling to pay the prescription charges for the medication which run at about 100 quid a pop..how much does asthma medication cost in UK per month?

Okay, too many questions. Tee hee.

My other question is waiting lists. Say for an injury. I have an injury to my knee that gives me constant pain and leaves me unable to bear weight, my MRI date is next year (this is after I have been waiting since late spring), how does this compare to the UK? Obviously, when one is in pain, I am driven to try and find help where I can, but loathed to be seen as one of the many returning to the UK in hope of getting cheap health care. I haven't paid into the system for ten years, it's cheeky, but the pain!

The main drive though,is to be back with bright people, people like us, chirpy people with senses of humor and a widespread friendliness.

Jay Bird

Hi Barbara B. welcome to BE.
Moving back after several years away can be mind-boggling and overwhelming, but this link might help.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/index.htm

We moved from Manchester to West Sussex soon after came home and our years-old records were transferred....seems they keep them for years and years, so they'll be able to find you in the system.

We returned after 4 years away.....I wonder if we were in the same "cultural wilderness"....it was also devoid of laughter and humour, and yes, you're right, we Brits seem to "get" each other regardless of which part of the country we're from. British humour is British humour, and my goodness me, it's SO good to laugh til I ache again! Coming Home was the best thing we did.
I wish you well, and feel free to PM me if you wish. I'm not on here every day, but pop in and out every so often.

nun

Just curious, where are you living?

FYI if you want a cultural wasteland move to my hone town - Middlesbrough

dunroving

This area was identifed today as one of three that will likely be worst hit by the government cuts.

[edit: Here's a link to the story on BBC News: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11141264]

sallysimmons

And how convenient that it's a place that will never vote Tory anyway! Must be a coincidence ;-)

Barbara B., I have some of the same questions as you about the culture. It's a long time since I lived in the UK and you hear so much bad news. But then I visit family and friends and see none of that. My guess is it depends on where you choose to live when you go back. Can you pick somewhere different? It sounds like where you were was particularly bad. (I lived in Hull for a few years and even there, didn't suffer from the stuff you talked about - well, just one burglary).

nun

So much of the bad news about the UK is just Daily Mailesque propoganda. people love bad news and it sells papers and gets politicians elected. Whenever I see an immigrant, chav, dole jockey story I take it with a mountain of salt.

nun

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-11141264

Hey I worked on that blast furnace for a couple of summers when I was in college. I did research into the combustion of pulverized coal in the tuyeres. I must get that into some cocktail conversation.

Once again the Boro gets kicked where it hurts. Actually Middlesbrough is a great place to live. It's close to the North Yorks Moors and has a great coastline. The job situation is terrible, but it's quiet and cheap, so as a retiree it's a good place. You have to search out the culture, but Newcastle and York are only 45mins drive away and you can buy a nice 2 bedroom cottage in a beautiful village for 150k pounds or rent one for 600 pcm

Bomber Harris

There is also the NHS website which may contain some of the answers the OP seeks regarding healthcare.

http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/Pages/NHSEngland.aspx

islandwoman120

Here is a link to the map of England showing areas of 'resiliency'. Scattered about are areas that show positivity - it is not all completely north/south, thankfully. Correct me if I am wrong, please.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-11233799

ann m

Can you pay to get an MRI done privately/pay yourself - to at least get some answers - rather than wait at least another five months or more?

(I know here in Canada you can't opt to pay - the system doesn't facilitate that "going private" option - but then I don't think you'd wait more than a week or two for a referral like that anyway - maybe I'm wrong).

Doesn't answer your questions, sorry - but just a thought.

In the meantime, I think wait lists in the UK for referrals are hit and miss - sometimes, usually the more serious stuff, you will be referred pretty quickly. For, other things, it's not unusual to hear of wait lists of 6 months up to 2 years.

Barbara B.

Thanks for your swift replies and links I am now looking up. Very helpful.

Jay Bird: The laughing till I ache thing I can totally relate to.

After my last trip back to the Uk I was left wondering: was everyone putting on a show for me? It was a laugh a flipping minute! Maybe when I lived there I was caught up in the negatives of life, maybe I had failed to appreciate how stoically jolly everybody is, even the miserable so and sos have a kind of dry wit in the UK.

Life is an uphill struggle wheresoever we are, I know that, but I can't help thinking, that if placed between a rock and a hard place, I'd best choose the hard place with a sense of humour rather than the rock with a dull homogenised community.

Not that there is anything wrong with a dull homogenised community of course, I wouldn't want to offend anyone who found that cosy.

I couldn't get over how polite the UK was either. The man selling sarnies on the train addressed me as "Madam" - when did that happen? Ten years ago would he addressed me as "miss"? I must have been taking the politeness and good manners instilled in most Uk kids for granted. I'd left giving one of the reasons as the break down of society, how uncouthness was overwhelming me. Yes I am cringing at my own choice of words here, but might as well be honest about that.

I saw a bit of that 'degeneration' on my last visit. Some shady figures looming down a dark alley. Kids scouting around the estates on bikes looking well bored. A hilariously out of control woman having a nervous breakdown in the street and hurling her shopping bags about while a WPC edged up to her carefully. Some lads leaned out of a car and hurled some sort of verbal abuse at me, I think it might have been something to do with the hat I had on, I couldn't quite catch what they were jeering about, it seemed a bit random, what I would expect, but it wasn't as bad as I rememberred, not at all threatening. But it was that sort of thing that lead me to feel threatened when I left. All the madness and chaos and casualties. Seems now, that all of that is tied up with a bow of humor, and steel girded manners.

Maybe I am too sensitive perhaps? Needed to grow up? Hmmmm. How many expats on the return see their journey tying in with ages and stages?

My view of the Uk being a !!!! hole is changing. But maybe this is rose tinted glasses and the grass is always greener?

Barbara B.

I'm going to get me some of that salt.

Barbara B.

I asked a mate living in a certain area in the UK if she herself sees anything of this crime and bad news. She paused for a moment and then said "Nah. I don't see any of it."

Much relieved I mentally started to pack my bags when she chipped in:

"And only last week there were two stabbings near us, but I didn't see any of that - it happened at night, and we don't go out after dark."

Errr......I don't quite know how to take that, except I already know I wouldn't want to live in that area anyway -out of FEAR and prejudice against my own kind haha.

Is it all about money and location though? Does it have to be about 'nice areas'?

nun

If we believe the statistics crime is falling in England and Wales. IMHO the "hoodie" and anti-social order phenomenons are a result of the media highlighting a very small number of incidents and then New Labour jumping on the bandwagon to win votes in middle England by showing how tough on crime they can be.

eurotramp

I would say that could be it..its so easy to concentrate and only see the negative stuff, if you go looking for it