johull

Hope so too - keep hoping and praying!!!

birdynumnum

Me 2
xxxxx

scoobydoo

Hi megansmummy
Just to get back on track, I have read your posts for a while and want to say how much I admire your courage and determination.

I hope this may help you.... previous to my present marriage I was married to Miles for 11 years....he was a controlling and dominating husband. I had two children to him, whom I dearly love, they were 2 and 9 when we split up. At the time I had put up with him as a "shitty" husband for many years, he was a flirt, a womaniser and a controll freak. When I gave birth to my boys he was a real bastard - he never showed any love or affection for me or them..... then after 11 years of marriage he had an affair with his secretary at work ... I later met her, she was also married with three children... whilst he had the affair with her, he let my children go hungry, he would not pay me any money.... despite the fact I was not working at the time...my youngest was only three months old... in those days there was no working families tax credits or help, but I needed to leave him for my own sanity. I tried to put the affair behind me when it ended and we got back together... what a waste of time... It lasted a year... until I got the guts to leave him( I had got a job and was self sufficient eventually)... I then bought my own house and met my husband who I am with now.

I just want to say that you have done the right thing girl..... I know how hard it is... I know what you are going through... but look you have made the move.. for your own good reasons, your own intuition..... My kids are now 11 and 18, we have now moved on. although I still keep him in my life for the sake of my kids. I dont like him, but to me thats no problem because I keep in touch cos of my kids.

Incidentlally my husband (of five years now) is very different to Miles.

Sweetheart, dont rush into another relationship, I know it makes it easier in the short term, but it doesnt in the long term. You are mummy to a lovely child, I would advise you to cherish the moments with your child and let your estranged husband do what he wants. At the end of the day he will suffer far more than you because he is not there... you maynot see it now... but in later life he will regret it... I know my husband has stated now that he does......

Better things are coming your way girl.... just keep your chin up and your heart with your child. I kept my heart with my boys and its been so much the right thing to do

x

megansmummy

Hi all

Thanks to everyone for the lovely words of comfort!!

can i just add though that im not looking for another relationship at all right now. All i plan on doing is having a damn good night with a possible flirt & snog at the end!! Ive missed out on a lot from being with him as we barelly did the love thing towards the end & he made me feel very unloved!

Im getting by slowly. Ive cut my hair dead short as he didnt like it short & ive bought new clothes!! time is a great healer & i hope it will get better soon. Hopefully he will fall on his arse with all this.

Ive also found out she is actually only 18, 19 in july. She is still a virgin & never had a proper fella so all i hope is that she realsises one day, though his mask prob wont drop for a long time yet as it did with me. He is very charming!!

Thanks again all & catch up soon xxx

mick69

Won't even mention him!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just wanted to say have a pint for me Jude! And enjoy tomorrow night. Lucky sod

Lynne

birdynumnum

Hi Jude

Have a ball 2nite

PS Sorry for thread hijack
xxxx

busterboy

You are giving him too much energy! You are a very pretty woman and he is obviously a halfwit.

I once had a very clever friend called Kirsten. When she split up with her OH and he started dating a very young and stupid girl, Kirsten said the wisest thing, which was 'He needs to find them younger and younger because those are the only ones that remain impressed with him'.

I dated one guy for 12 years. I obsessed and obsessed and obsessed about the end of our relationship (that's a lot of obsessing) of how I could have done things differently. He on the other hand went out with the local 'dumb as a box of frogs' younger, local barmaid. When questioned, he said these immortal words which pretty much incapsulated his depth of feeling towards me........ 'she even has the same size of tXts as you'.

....I moved on pretty quickly after that!

PS very happily married to some infinitely better now.

As someone else said 'onwards and upwards Girl'!

KatieStar

Hi Jude. I am glad things are going well for you and Meggy and I hope you get settled in your own home soon. Have fun at the weekend and have a for me LOL.

birdynumnum

Top post
xxxxxxxxxx

JoB

Hey Jude,

I have been following your story with interest as I came back from nz without my hubby last year but thankfully he followed me. He just thought I would jump on a plane back, how wrong he was.

Just consider it a very lucky escape and that you didn't waste more of your valuable time with a wa*ker. Just my view point, you say he has changed beyond recognition, my view on controlling men like this is that they don't show their true colours in the early days so you are actually seeing the 'real' him now. He hasn't changed he has just slipped back into his norm.

Your daughter is a very lucky kid having such a strong mother, you could have stayed thinking it was better for her. Some male role model he would be!!!

Good for you every cloud has a silver lining and a year from now you will look back and see how far you have come and be even stronger from your journey.

I sincerely wish you and Megan all the best.

Jo

p.s. I was in Cardiff last week with work, really nice.

Deedee13

i know its a tough time... but what about the child left behind? This child is over there, just lost the person who was a parent to him and now has a 18 year old as a substitute???? I will never understand men... never in a million years.

seasprite

good to hear from you....remember..IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT !