last minute jitters, anyone else?
#1
Looking for my marbles.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: durham, durham, England
Posts: 730
last minute jitters, anyone else?
I am due to leave NZ for the UK on May 3rd. We are giving up our flat on 17th April and heading to the South Island for a look around before we go.
Is it normal to feel so nervous. I think ive been kidding myself about the way I feel. Ive been as cool as a cucumber until today.
I did feel nervous when we emigrated but I assumed that was due to not knowing anyone in NZ and also leaving such a close knit family behind. I think I feel worse going home. I cannot pin point what Im so nervous about. We want to go home so much and Ive been looking forward to it so why do I suddenly feel like this? Im also having some weird dreams too.
Is there anybody out there feeling the same or have I really lost my marbles.
Is it normal to feel so nervous. I think ive been kidding myself about the way I feel. Ive been as cool as a cucumber until today.
I did feel nervous when we emigrated but I assumed that was due to not knowing anyone in NZ and also leaving such a close knit family behind. I think I feel worse going home. I cannot pin point what Im so nervous about. We want to go home so much and Ive been looking forward to it so why do I suddenly feel like this? Im also having some weird dreams too.
Is there anybody out there feeling the same or have I really lost my marbles.
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I feel apprehensive about leaving our son behind.
Also, everyone feels entitled to get the boot into the UK, so you hear a lot of negatives.
Going back is still a lot of work and it might seem easier not to put yourself through that, subconsciously.
Also, everyone feels entitled to get the boot into the UK, so you hear a lot of negatives.
Going back is still a lot of work and it might seem easier not to put yourself through that, subconsciously.
#3
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
Hello. Good luck with the last of your packing. (Not another Christmas in the summer, you lucky thing !)
You are probably feeling nervous because you remember all the upheaval of coming out here.
For as much as I want to go home, I can see that, 'now or never' will be the driver come the day.
Just imagine how you will feel when you arrive in Britain. Yeah, hot, tired and sweaty from a long haul flight.
The wait for your on bound flight to your regional UK airport will seem like forever.
Just think, home. Where people speak properly. You can be back where you belong. You can see all your old, 'landmarks'. Take a deep breath and smile.
You are probably feeling nervous because you remember all the upheaval of coming out here.
For as much as I want to go home, I can see that, 'now or never' will be the driver come the day.
Just imagine how you will feel when you arrive in Britain. Yeah, hot, tired and sweaty from a long haul flight.
The wait for your on bound flight to your regional UK airport will seem like forever.
Just think, home. Where people speak properly. You can be back where you belong. You can see all your old, 'landmarks'. Take a deep breath and smile.
#4
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
Perfectly normal! We'd all like a crystal ball to tell us it'll all be just fine, I reckon! Sounds like you're well on the way with things slotting neatly into place! Of course you will have "WTF have I done?" days - we all do! They'll pass and you'll be landing with Britain at her glorious best! Onwards and Upwards!
#5
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 203
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I think, for me, what has happened is that I desperately wanted to return to the UK for so long ... so when I finally decided to, it was an instant stress relief. But, as the time nears, it almost seems like it's not enough just to be back in the UK again - I also want to know that I can get a job, that things will work out etc etc ... whereas in truth, there are no guarrantees about anything in life.
All of which is to say, I can completely identify with your jitters as I have them too ... but they pass and I remind myself that if it doesn't work out, I can change things again. I think it's human nature to want to concretise things - to want stability and security - and the key is to get comfortable with uncertainity (Pema Chodron has written a lot on this and how to work with it which is quite useful).
I'm going back April 18th and it's getting very close now - I alternate between looking forward to it and getting the jitters ... which I think is normal!
As well, when we move away from the UK to another country, a lot of people tend to be very positive because it's so common to knock the UK - and if you move and have a job lined up - well that adds to the security of it. Whereas when you moving back there's a kind of grieving involved as well - because it's the death of a dream that you had hoped would work out (if you're moving back because you can't settle) - so there's an unacknowledge loss involved too. It's a form of disenfranchised grief I think (and Kenneth Doka has written a lot on this too).
And if you're older (which I am) it's a challenge to stay flexible to change too!
Good luck with your move - it will work out whatever happens and if it doesn't, you can change it.
All of which is to say, I can completely identify with your jitters as I have them too ... but they pass and I remind myself that if it doesn't work out, I can change things again. I think it's human nature to want to concretise things - to want stability and security - and the key is to get comfortable with uncertainity (Pema Chodron has written a lot on this and how to work with it which is quite useful).
I'm going back April 18th and it's getting very close now - I alternate between looking forward to it and getting the jitters ... which I think is normal!
As well, when we move away from the UK to another country, a lot of people tend to be very positive because it's so common to knock the UK - and if you move and have a job lined up - well that adds to the security of it. Whereas when you moving back there's a kind of grieving involved as well - because it's the death of a dream that you had hoped would work out (if you're moving back because you can't settle) - so there's an unacknowledge loss involved too. It's a form of disenfranchised grief I think (and Kenneth Doka has written a lot on this too).
And if you're older (which I am) it's a challenge to stay flexible to change too!
Good luck with your move - it will work out whatever happens and if it doesn't, you can change it.
#6
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 20
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I was so glad i read your post,and you have not lost your marbles as i feel the same way,i have been living in the US for 30 yrs but i do go home for a month every year back to the UK, and every time i leave i am heartbroken, what makes it worse is not only is my whole family there but my only child and daughter moved there 2 yrs ago, she had done her Masters Degree in the Uk and the study abroad and since i took her home ever year since she was little she fell in love with the UK, she has a lovely boyfriend over there and has no intensions on ever moving back to the US, i have been in a bad marriage for a very long time, lost our home to a forclosure so not a happy time, so i have decided to move back home next spring, even though i am very excited about moving back home i am also very nervous and anxious which is perfectly normal, i will be be starting from scratch and in my fifties scares me to death, i worry about finding a job and how long i can live on the little savings i will have saved, but i am going for it i am not getting any younger and i have nothing keeping me here anymore, i think with any change in life it is normal to feel the way you do, i wish you all the luck in the world, once you are home you will be just fine.
#7
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I wasn't in the slightest bit anxious when I first left the UK back in 1983. Probably because I was too young and foolish to realise what a big step it was, I felt like I was going on a big adventure holiday, and life in the UK was pretty sh*t so anything else seemed an improvement.
Every move since then I have been anxious to varying extents. Even if we are sure it is the right move, it is difficult to leave behind years of experience in a second "home" without some pangs of nostalgia or a series of "Oh, crap" moments, especially as you get closer to D-day. Perfectly normal.
Every move since then I have been anxious to varying extents. Even if we are sure it is the right move, it is difficult to leave behind years of experience in a second "home" without some pangs of nostalgia or a series of "Oh, crap" moments, especially as you get closer to D-day. Perfectly normal.
#8
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 800
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
perfectly normal to feel nervous. This is a major life change you are making and if you didnt feel nervous then there would be something wrong.
#9
Every day's a school day
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: Was Calgary back in Edmonton again !!
Posts: 2,667
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I am due to leave NZ for the UK on May 3rd. We are giving up our flat on 17th April and heading to the South Island for a look around before we go.
Is it normal to feel so nervous. I think ive been kidding myself about the way I feel. Ive been as cool as a cucumber until today.
I did feel nervous when we emigrated but I assumed that was due to not knowing anyone in NZ and also leaving such a close knit family behind. I think I feel worse going home. I cannot pin point what Im so nervous about. We want to go home so much and Ive been looking forward to it so why do I suddenly feel like this? Im also having some weird dreams too.
Is there anybody out there feeling the same or have I really lost my marbles.
Is it normal to feel so nervous. I think ive been kidding myself about the way I feel. Ive been as cool as a cucumber until today.
I did feel nervous when we emigrated but I assumed that was due to not knowing anyone in NZ and also leaving such a close knit family behind. I think I feel worse going home. I cannot pin point what Im so nervous about. We want to go home so much and Ive been looking forward to it so why do I suddenly feel like this? Im also having some weird dreams too.
Is there anybody out there feeling the same or have I really lost my marbles.
#10
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I going back a week before you and start work back at my old company on May 6th..i feel like im kind of living my life backwards going back to the same place i was before i left..knowing it will not be the same..people change and people move on...im nervous that i wont like it and ill want to come back knowing that i cant/don't really want to go back..im now really beginning to question the whole last 6 years of my life...what was it all for and do i really want to go back to my old life
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I wasn't in the slightest bit anxious when I first left the UK back in 1983. Probably because I was too young and foolish to realise what a big step it was, I felt like I was going on a big adventure holiday, and life in the UK was pretty sh*t so anything else seemed an improvement.
Every move since then I have been anxious to varying extents. Even if we are sure it is the right move, it is difficult to leave behind years of experience in a second "home" without some pangs of nostalgia or a series of "Oh, crap" moments, especially as you get closer to D-day. Perfectly normal.
Every move since then I have been anxious to varying extents. Even if we are sure it is the right move, it is difficult to leave behind years of experience in a second "home" without some pangs of nostalgia or a series of "Oh, crap" moments, especially as you get closer to D-day. Perfectly normal.
#12
Looking for my marbles.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: durham, durham, England
Posts: 730
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
Thanks so much for the replies. I can identify with everyone of you. Everyone has explained feelings which I am currently going through. So Im pleased to know that I havent lost my marbles!
#13
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 181
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
...
As well, when we move away from the UK to another country, a lot of people tend to be very positive because it's so common to knock the UK - and if you move and have a job lined up - well that adds to the security of it. Whereas when you moving back there's a kind of grieving involved as well - because it's the death of a dream that you had hoped would work out (if you're moving back because you can't settle) - so there's an unacknowledge loss involved too. It's a form of disenfranchised grief I think (and Kenneth Doka has written a lot on this too).
As well, when we move away from the UK to another country, a lot of people tend to be very positive because it's so common to knock the UK - and if you move and have a job lined up - well that adds to the security of it. Whereas when you moving back there's a kind of grieving involved as well - because it's the death of a dream that you had hoped would work out (if you're moving back because you can't settle) - so there's an unacknowledge loss involved too. It's a form of disenfranchised grief I think (and Kenneth Doka has written a lot on this too).
I always felt like we were living the dream for loads of our friends and OH family in the UK.
On behalf of them as they couldn't or wouldn't do it for themselves. So to want to return is in someway killing their dreams - if that makes sense.
And they are so negative about the UK, and see everywhere else with rose tinted glasses.
My M-in-law loved to tell me how much better the education system was here compared to there. Why? I would ask.
I figure there are good and bad schools the whole world over. No one country has the monopoly in that. Different is not necessarily better or worse, but it is different.
But it is change that makes me nervous. And this is a big upheaval.
And I hear you - I am rapidly heading down that way too.
I am just reminding myself that my old friends and the family have had life without us for 7.5 yrs and so it is just like starting over again.
Never saying no to a Tupperware party etc.
#14
Looking for my marbles.
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: durham, durham, England
Posts: 730
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
I think I will be accepting invitations to lots of craft parties etc even though I wouldnt normally. I think its all part of the settling in process. I sometimes wish Id not taken that first step into the moving countries world. I should have just stood on the edge and observed. I suppose then I would not have had the life experiences I have. Its one to tell the grandchildren when I get older.
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 181
Re: last minute jitters, anyone else?
Oh the stories you will be able to tell.
And - you have had the guts to try something new, and while that didn't work out - there is no saying that a different new thing won't be the one for you!
Life is too short to sit on the couch and wish you had done loads of stuff.
- mind you - just got our first shipping quote back and it is just under 13k
OUCH!!,,,
Can't change our minds now, house is sold and tickets booked.
And - you have had the guts to try something new, and while that didn't work out - there is no saying that a different new thing won't be the one for you!
Life is too short to sit on the couch and wish you had done loads of stuff.
- mind you - just got our first shipping quote back and it is just under 13k
OUCH!!,,,
Can't change our minds now, house is sold and tickets booked.