Jitters

Old Jul 19th 2007, 4:24 am
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Default Jitters

Now we are really going back to the UK I feel a bit jittery !! I know what we are going back to and why, but then sometimes Im driving round looking at things thinking "Do I really wanna go home?". I know I do, but why is this?

Does anyone else feel like it, is it normal? I keep thinking cos the whole thing is dragging out with selling this bloody house its taking forever!!!, dont get me wrong I know deep down I wanna go home, but leaving my daughter here and the few good friends I have made, makes me sad....All very stressful and I know it wont change here, we cant seem to move forward with our lives. A couple we've known for years everything has dropped into place for them, and a few other couples we know, I feel very resentful that it hasnt happened for us, people keep saying wait a few more years but really I cant see it happening. My OH has a really brill job here, but the wages are low, we never get anytime together (hes always working), nothing has changed in fact its even harder here than it was in UK...BUT I still feel sad......Why??

A fed up Kath
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 4:34 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Kath & Graham
Now we are really going back to the UK I feel a bit jittery !! I know what we are going back to and why, but then sometimes Im driving round looking at things thinking "Do I really wanna go home?". I know I do, but why is this?

Does anyone else feel like it, is it normal? I keep thinking cos the whole thing is dragging out with selling this bloody house its taking forever!!!, dont get me wrong I know deep down I wanna go home, but leaving my daughter here and the few good friends I have made, makes me sad....All very stressful and I know it wont change here, we cant seem to move forward with our lives. A couple we've known for years everything has dropped into place for them, and a few other couples we know, I feel very resentful that it hasnt happened for us, people keep saying wait a few more years but really I cant see it happening. My OH has a really brill job here, but the wages are low, we never get anytime together (hes always working), nothing has changed in fact its even harder here than it was in UK...BUT I still feel sad......Why??

A fed up Kath
Its human nature when we left Melbourne i felt sad even though i knew i didnt want to be there you make connections with a place sometimes without realising its natural to feel this way.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 5:09 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Kath & Graham
Now we are really going back to the UK I feel a bit jittery !! I know what we are going back to and why, but then sometimes Im driving round looking at things thinking "Do I really wanna go home?". I know I do, but why is this?

Does anyone else feel like it, is it normal? I keep thinking cos the whole thing is dragging out with selling this bloody house its taking forever!!!, dont get me wrong I know deep down I wanna go home, but leaving my daughter here and the few good friends I have made, makes me sad....All very stressful and I know it wont change here, we cant seem to move forward with our lives. A couple we've known for years everything has dropped into place for them, and a few other couples we know, I feel very resentful that it hasnt happened for us, people keep saying wait a few more years but really I cant see it happening. My OH has a really brill job here, but the wages are low, we never get anytime together (hes always working), nothing has changed in fact its even harder here than it was in UK...BUT I still feel sad......Why??

A fed up Kath
Hi Kath

I know exactly what you mean. Hope its normal
I've just started packing etc and although I do want to go back & know its the best move, I've been feeling sad about it too, driving round appreciating here as I know I'm leaving. All the things I know I'll miss I'm really appreciating. Y'day was my b'day & all my chums got together and we had such a lovely time, saw whales etc etc & I thought I dont know if I do want to go now. Doesnt help that they all keep saying they wish I was staying etc. I know if I stayed I'd just stay bored in a lovely setting but as I'm leaving I'm seeing it with the fresher eyes of a tourist.
Once you've lived somewhere and established relationships and a life you're bound to feel sad about leaving people and the place too, unless you really really hate where you are. My little town is one of my fave places I've ever lived, its lovely & I'll really miss it but that doesnt mean its somewhere to stay as theres not anything else away from this small area. Keep the bigger picture in mind.
Also, you know you said things had just fallen into place for friends, well I try to be philosophical about that. Last year here, one thing after another went wrong, its was verging on comical. I sometimes think it was like something was telling me to go back home.
Also, going back is the end of a dream isnt it, even if you want to head back, I think for many its as emotional if not more so than moving here initially (as a pinger thats what I found anyway).
I'm waffling now (& avoiding packing) so I'll go.
Keep your pecker up Kath and look forward to what you're moving to not what you'll miss
lotsa love
Tanya
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 6:58 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Kath & Graham
Now we are really going back to the UK I feel a bit jittery !! I know what we are going back to and why, but then sometimes Im driving round looking at things thinking "Do I really wanna go home?". I know I do, but why is this?

Does anyone else feel like it, is it normal? I keep thinking cos the whole thing is dragging out with selling this bloody house its taking forever!!!, dont get me wrong I know deep down I wanna go home, but leaving my daughter here and the few good friends I have made, makes me sad....All very stressful and I know it wont change here, we cant seem to move forward with our lives. A couple we've known for years everything has dropped into place for them, and a few other couples we know, I feel very resentful that it hasnt happened for us, people keep saying wait a few more years but really I cant see it happening. My OH has a really brill job here, but the wages are low, we never get anytime together (hes always working), nothing has changed in fact its even harder here than it was in UK...BUT I still feel sad......Why??

A fed up Kath
i know how u feel as i will be going back home around 6 months time and its not so much that im going to miss boring perth has to offer, it that one of my daughters is staying here thats who i will miss and is going to be the hardest thing saying goodbye to her.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 8:03 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by shazza1
i know how u feel as i will be going back home around 6 months time and its not so much that im going to miss boring perth has to offer, it that one of my daughters is staying here thats who i will miss and is going to be the hardest thing saying goodbye to her.
Yeh sure is, if mine deffo stay(which she says she is) its gonna really pull me apart
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 11:01 am
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Default Re: Jitters

I think its normal and depends why you're leaving. Sometimes we question whether we want to be in the UK, or just out of here. Personally I really want to be in the UK but I know it wont be forever as I don't think my wife would like that (and not 100% sure I would). But I definitely want to be out of here.

I think it depends how your mood is on the any given day. Most of us don't have the luxury of multiple passports (well I have two, but you know what I mean).

But the UK is a good place to start, and if it becomes permanent it does and if it doesn't , then the world is a big place. But IMO its hard to make rational decisions in a place you definitely don't want to be as they can be under the wrong type of circumstances.

Good luck
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 11:11 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Triboy
I think its normal and depends why you're leaving. Sometimes we question whether we want to be in the UK, or just out of here. Personally I really want to be in the UK but I know it wont be forever as I don't think my wife would like that (and not 100% sure I would). But I definitely want to be out of here.

I think it depends how your mood is on the any given day. Most of us don't have the luxury of multiple passports (well I have two, but you know what I mean).

But the UK is a good place to start, and if it becomes permanent it does and if it doesn't , then the world is a big place. But IMO its hard to make rational decisions in a place you definitely don't want to be as they can be under the wrong type of circumstances.

Good luck
good post
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 11:38 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Yeh thanks for that. Very true about how you feel on day to day as some days Ie, others I cant bear it!!!
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 11:39 am
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Triboy
I think its normal and depends why you're leaving. Sometimes we question whether we want to be in the UK, or just out of here. Personally I really want to be in the UK but I know it wont be forever as I don't think my wife would like that (and not 100% sure I would). But I definitely want to be out of here.

I think it depends how your mood is on the any given day. Most of us don't have the luxury of multiple passports (well I have two, but you know what I mean).

But the UK is a good place to start, and if it becomes permanent it does and if it doesn't , then the world is a big place. But IMO its hard to make rational decisions in a place you definitely don't want to be as they can be under the wrong type of circumstances.

Good luck
i agree 100%, the world is a big place and people have there own dreams in life as we did and as i children will, and remember you only get one presious life and you should make the most of it as you never know when your journey will end.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 2:35 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

I haven't made any solid plans to go back yet, but I'm hellbent on doing so. Often, I find myself wondering if I really want to, and then I compare the reasons why I should stay and the reasons why I should leave. The need to go back far outweighs the need to stay, but I still do it almost every day.

Like another poster mentioned, it may have been your dream to live in a foreign land, and you may be feeling some sort of defeat? If you gave it your best shot and still want to be back in the UK, it's not defeat. It's just where your roots are.

I've found the decision to go back much more difficult than it was to come here in the first place. When I was in the UK, I hadn't really grown up, and was still going out partying, etc, but in the US, I've built a marriage and a home for almost 5 years, and I really was thrown out to the wolves with my family so far away, but I made it work, and it's weird to admit that life here isn't working anymore. When I go back, I'll be living with mum (not that I mind, I love her to bits) and starting from scratch again. Sort of feels like it did when I left school!

It's perfectly normal to miss the friends you have made here and maybe start to see things in a different light, but I reckon once you're back in the UK and settled again, you'll realize you did the right thing.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 2:42 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

Also, ANY kind of change--even if it's good change--is stressful. And I think we're all too good at second-guessing our decisions, whether it's changing jobs, getting married (or divorced), moving, or whatever. There's no way to know what would be if we did something different, so we just have to leap in and make the change--for better or worse. But it can cause sleepless nights!

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Old Jul 19th 2007, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way!

I can't wait to move back and am really unsettled in the US. That doesn't stop me getting down, being really anxious and nervous about it. I haven't been able to understand why moving back has me more nervous than when I moved to Spain and America. I think it's because before I was going totally into the unknown and now England is like a long lost relative. I know who they are but I'm not sure if I'll recognise them.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by SarahInTX
But it can cause sleepless nights!

Sarah in TX
Thank gawd for Tylenol PM.
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 3:21 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Shivster
Thank gawd for Tylenol PM.
I tried this once and it gave me a hangover feeling the next day! Now I just watch something really boring on TV before I go to bed!
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Old Jul 19th 2007, 3:59 pm
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Default Re: Jitters

Originally Posted by Shivster
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way!

I can't wait to move back and am really unsettled in the US. That doesn't stop me getting down, being really anxious and nervous about it. I haven't been able to understand why moving back has me more nervous than when I moved to Spain and America. I think it's because before I was going totally into the unknown and now England is like a long lost relative. I know who they are but I'm not sure if I'll recognise them.
All I know is that when I moved to the US, I was 30 years younger, and was going on an adventure. We came here with no money and a couple of suitcases, but with every confidence and no trepidation. We were planning to be here only two years (ex-hub's post doc), but we ended up staying here.

Now, when I think about going back, I'm older and (in some ways) wiser. I'm more fearful of the possibilities and uncertainties (will I get a job; will I be able to afford the bills?) I'm "comfortable" with what I've got in the US, and I don't know what I'll face in the UK.

Going back, for me, presents a lot more unknowns than when I came here -- even though it SHOULD be the other way around, surely!? -- because when I came here I didn't even think about them.

Sarah in TX
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