It's our choice at the end of the day?
Feb 8th 2004, 11:12 pm
#1
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It's our choice at the end of the day?
I have found since we told people that we are returning to the Uk I have less and less friends!!!
I had made some nice ones since arriving here but they seem to have stopped phoning so regularly and we don't see them as much, if at all!!
In one way I can understand. They probably think "why should I make the effort to stay friends when she won't be here much longer"? On the other hand I find it quite sad that the friendship was just based on my being here and in the same situation as them, a new migrant from the UK. My Aussie friend and a friend I made of this site are still the same, although upset at our departure I still get invites round for coffee. !!!
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
I had made some nice ones since arriving here but they seem to have stopped phoning so regularly and we don't see them as much, if at all!!
In one way I can understand. They probably think "why should I make the effort to stay friends when she won't be here much longer"? On the other hand I find it quite sad that the friendship was just based on my being here and in the same situation as them, a new migrant from the UK. My Aussie friend and a friend I made of this site are still the same, although upset at our departure I still get invites round for coffee. !!!
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
Feb 8th 2004, 11:28 pm
#2
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Re: It's our choice at the end of the day?
Originally posted by janeyray
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
Still, of five UK-emigrant friends that arrived in Oz (Sydney) around the same time ~'88-'89, all but one of them has left. One left to go to NY, the others all went back to the UK after some years. The general reason was along the lines of "I miss family too much" and "I didn't expect it to be the centre of the universe, but it's too much of a backwater"
Feb 9th 2004, 12:13 am
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Re: It's our choice at the end of the day?
Originally posted by MikeStanton
Yup, same thing happened to me. After I told people that I would return to the UK, some of my ex-UK-now-in-Oz "friends" have not called etc. I think one of the reasons for this is that my decision to return may pose the question "Is Oz such a great place?" in their own minds. Which makes them feel uncomfortable and/or insecure. And people don't like that feeling. Of course, it's silly, because each person has their own reasons for leaving.
Still, of five UK-emigrant friends that arrived in Oz (Sydney) around the same time ~'88-'89, all but one of them has left. One left to go to NY, the others all went back to the UK after some years. The general reason was along the lines of "I miss family too much" and "I didn't expect it to be the centre of the universe, but it's too much of a backwater"
Yup, same thing happened to me. After I told people that I would return to the UK, some of my ex-UK-now-in-Oz "friends" have not called etc. I think one of the reasons for this is that my decision to return may pose the question "Is Oz such a great place?" in their own minds. Which makes them feel uncomfortable and/or insecure. And people don't like that feeling. Of course, it's silly, because each person has their own reasons for leaving.
Still, of five UK-emigrant friends that arrived in Oz (Sydney) around the same time ~'88-'89, all but one of them has left. One left to go to NY, the others all went back to the UK after some years. The general reason was along the lines of "I miss family too much" and "I didn't expect it to be the centre of the universe, but it's too much of a backwater"
Are you still in Sydney? I was born in Kiribilli but left for the UK when I was 6 weeks old. I returned to Sydney about 1988 for a holiday and was living in marickville (can't remember how it was spelt) cant remember mush about the suburb except it had a large amount of people from Vietnam.
Feb 9th 2004, 12:20 am
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Re: It's our choice at the end of the day?
Originally posted by janeyray
It's not just me then!! I'am not alone!! lol
Are you still in Sydney? I was born in Kiribilli but left for the UK when I was 6 weeks old. I returned to Sydney about 1988 for a holiday and was living in marickville (can't remember how it was spelt) cant remember mush about the suburb except it had a large amount of people from Vietnam.
It's not just me then!! I'am not alone!! lol
Are you still in Sydney? I was born in Kiribilli but left for the UK when I was 6 weeks old. I returned to Sydney about 1988 for a holiday and was living in marickville (can't remember how it was spelt) cant remember mush about the suburb except it had a large amount of people from Vietnam.
Kirribilli is a nice place!
I was born in UK, emigrated in '89 to Sydney (Manly). In 2000 I went to Europe to work for a couple of years. It made me realise what a backwater Oz is and how parochial its outlook. I will be returning to the UK this year. I still like Oz, but perhaps as a place to retire to.
Feb 9th 2004, 12:39 am
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Jane you are not alone! We have been here only 6 months & have decided to go back to all things familiar in UK. We havent told our friends yet for the very reason you say is happening to you: don't want to end up here with no friends for the last couple of months we are here. Think they have an inkling but its easier to say nothing til nearer the time.
We arent staying here as my husband cant get work as he is too qualified to be a basic tradesman & not qualified enough to work in a more senior role! Catch 22!!
Also there's the low wages, high income tax rates, poor quality, expensive education, a distinct feeling of discrimination against Brits, housing is out of our reach unless we have a huge mortgage over 30 years...............the list goes on.
After a while the sunshine & beaches don't make up for what we know we are missing in UK, not just family & friends but good job prospects, excellent education, amazing health service & decent supermarkets!!
If you fancy a moan get in touch Jane as I'm not near you but in Perth.
We arent staying here as my husband cant get work as he is too qualified to be a basic tradesman & not qualified enough to work in a more senior role! Catch 22!!
Also there's the low wages, high income tax rates, poor quality, expensive education, a distinct feeling of discrimination against Brits, housing is out of our reach unless we have a huge mortgage over 30 years...............the list goes on.
After a while the sunshine & beaches don't make up for what we know we are missing in UK, not just family & friends but good job prospects, excellent education, amazing health service & decent supermarkets!!
If you fancy a moan get in touch Jane as I'm not near you but in Perth.
Feb 9th 2004, 12:49 am
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Originally posted by angelica
Jane you are not alone! We have been here only 6 months & have decided to go back to all things familiar in UK. We havent told our friends yet for the very reason you say is happening to you: don't want to end up here with no friends for the last couple of months we are here. Think they have an inkling but its easier to say nothing til nearer the time.
We arent staying here as my husband cant get work as he is too qualified to be a basic tradesman & not qualified enough to work in a more senior role! Catch 22!!
Also there's the low wages, high income tax rates, poor quality, expensive education, a distinct feeling of discrimination against Brits, housing is out of our reach unless we have a huge mortgage over 30 years...............the list goes on.
After a while the sunshine & beaches don't make up for what we know we are missing in UK, not just family & friends but good job prospects, excellent education, amazing health service & decent supermarkets!!
If you fancy a moan get in touch Jane as I'm not near you but in Perth.
Jane you are not alone! We have been here only 6 months & have decided to go back to all things familiar in UK. We havent told our friends yet for the very reason you say is happening to you: don't want to end up here with no friends for the last couple of months we are here. Think they have an inkling but its easier to say nothing til nearer the time.
We arent staying here as my husband cant get work as he is too qualified to be a basic tradesman & not qualified enough to work in a more senior role! Catch 22!!
Also there's the low wages, high income tax rates, poor quality, expensive education, a distinct feeling of discrimination against Brits, housing is out of our reach unless we have a huge mortgage over 30 years...............the list goes on.
After a while the sunshine & beaches don't make up for what we know we are missing in UK, not just family & friends but good job prospects, excellent education, amazing health service & decent supermarkets!!
If you fancy a moan get in touch Jane as I'm not near you but in Perth.
I write/email a few people coming over from the Uk and found that it was a lot easier to not tell them our plans to return.
We have to sell yet so maybe lonley for many more months to come yet!!!! Where abouts in Perth are you? I'am in Ellenbrook
Feb 9th 2004, 1:02 am
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Originally posted by janeyray
Oh thank you. There is light at the end of the tunnel then!!! Phew. Feeling really fed up today. I shouldn't have told my friends either but had to in the end because the house is up for sale!
I write/email a few people coming over from the Uk and found that it was a lot easier to not tell them our plans to return.
We have to sell yet so maybe lonley for many more months to come yet!!!! Where abouts in Perth are you? I'am in Ellenbrook
Oh thank you. There is light at the end of the tunnel then!!! Phew. Feeling really fed up today. I shouldn't have told my friends either but had to in the end because the house is up for sale!
I write/email a few people coming over from the Uk and found that it was a lot easier to not tell them our plans to return.
We have to sell yet so maybe lonley for many more months to come yet!!!! Where abouts in Perth are you? I'am in Ellenbrook
Dont worry about the house it will sell if the price is realistic. Some of the houses are way over the top & arent selling, obviously greedy people or not bothered about moving!
Feb 9th 2004, 1:46 am
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Janey, we are getting a bit of a snub from a few english friends, there is a sort of you lucky buggers we'd love to get out of here, but they dont want the mega hassle of getting up and doing something about it. Aussie mates have been the best its like I'd kill to live over there for a while. We are still getting invited to stuff tho just as we are still making an effort here not to just put the life on hold, actually trying to do silly things we would not do when we go back to the UK, like fishing OMG I was bored rigid
As for house selling, before the boom the average time a house was on the market before it sold was about 3 months, no particular reason its just the way it is here People in the UK seem more used to just a few lookers then a sale. Few tips I have picked up, give one agent the listing, they do not work on multi lisitngs, sort out who you want go Sole or Exclusive and make sure they work it. People have to know its there, signs, advertising and open house. Make sure the price is correct, do this by seeing what else is available for the same money you intend putting on yours, if others have another bedroom and a pool for eg at the same price its not going to move. People here do tend to look at an awful lot of houses before they buy, make sure yours hits them as the one as soon as they walk in the door. Pommie style clutter is def not the go over here keep it simple. (Not saying your house is mess by the way just something we have picked up )
We sold another house just this morning, now that one was on the market since November but not exactly in everyones price bracket, we dropped $10,000 to get the sale, but we had stuck $20,000 over what we wanted on it anyway
One less house to mow I am getting so bloody excited at the thought of going its like being a kid at Christmas.
As for house selling, before the boom the average time a house was on the market before it sold was about 3 months, no particular reason its just the way it is here
People in the UK seem more used to just a few lookers then a sale. Few tips I have picked up, give one agent the listing, they do not work on multi lisitngs, sort out who you want go Sole or Exclusive and make sure they work it. People have to know its there, signs, advertising and open house. Make sure the price is correct, do this by seeing what else is available for the same money you intend putting on yours, if others have another bedroom and a pool for eg at the same price its not going to move. People here do tend to look at an awful lot of houses before they buy, make sure yours hits them as the one as soon as they walk in the door. Pommie style clutter is def not the go over here keep it simple. (Not saying your house is mess by the way just something we have picked up ) We sold another house just this morning, now that one was on the market since November but not exactly in everyones price bracket, we dropped $10,000 to get the sale, but we had stuck $20,000 over what we wanted on it anyway
One less house to mow I am getting so bloody excited at the thought of going its like being a kid at Christmas.
Feb 9th 2004, 1:49 am
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hi
your all not alone - im in melbourne - been here 4 years and have never settled.. im in the process of selling everything and cant wait to go! plan is to leave april....
ive had similar responses from people - however i just state quite cleary that im on my own here unlike them (im 32 and single) and they cant really respond to that as they are mostly in couples! they wouldnt survive 5 minutes on their own!
ive also been here a long time so i use that too! although i did decide to go home 3 years ago but didnt and to be honest i would say that i havnt gained much in that time! however i guess i have worked out that i dont want to be here after 4.5 years! so its not all wasted i guess...
the one thing i would say that i found living overseas far from home is that i find many friendships are based on shallowness! not all of them - i have many great friends but i find a lot are not 'real' friends.. - so who needs that?
i dont get whats so great about oz,, it is a backwater and i cant wait to get back to civilisation! and opps to travel.... i dont find the ozzies particulary bright and have no real 'banter' with them - and ive never met so many people so up themselves when they've got reason to !
i dont have kids but i also figured out that i wouldnt put my kids through the ozzie education system here either!
i admire people who are honest enough to give up and go home and go for what they really want - ive seen many people go back to their homes in the last few years and used to envy them cause i was 'too scared' to go back! but im not now!
looking forward to the british tv, good old banter in the pub, british clothes, cold xmas, mulled wine! travel to europe or states, go to covent garden, see friends and their new children etc etc... have somewhere to go at weekend (home) to see family and friends....
there is so much im looking forward to and so over melbourne - also looking forward to better opps job wise!
come back to retire - or if your lazy i say....
best thing is to not listen to people but thats hard! im getting in my ear also so i try not to bring subject up!
good luck!
your all not alone - im in melbourne - been here 4 years and have never settled.. im in the process of selling everything and cant wait to go! plan is to leave april....
ive had similar responses from people - however i just state quite cleary that im on my own here unlike them (im 32 and single) and they cant really respond to that as they are mostly in couples! they wouldnt survive 5 minutes on their own!
ive also been here a long time so i use that too! although i did decide to go home 3 years ago but didnt and to be honest i would say that i havnt gained much in that time! however i guess i have worked out that i dont want to be here after 4.5 years! so its not all wasted i guess...
the one thing i would say that i found living overseas far from home is that i find many friendships are based on shallowness! not all of them - i have many great friends but i find a lot are not 'real' friends.. - so who needs that?
i dont get whats so great about oz,, it is a backwater and i cant wait to get back to civilisation! and opps to travel.... i dont find the ozzies particulary bright and have no real 'banter' with them - and ive never met so many people so up themselves when they've got reason to !
i dont have kids but i also figured out that i wouldnt put my kids through the ozzie education system here either!
i admire people who are honest enough to give up and go home and go for what they really want - ive seen many people go back to their homes in the last few years and used to envy them cause i was 'too scared' to go back! but im not now!
looking forward to the british tv, good old banter in the pub, british clothes, cold xmas, mulled wine! travel to europe or states, go to covent garden, see friends and their new children etc etc... have somewhere to go at weekend (home) to see family and friends....
there is so much im looking forward to and so over melbourne - also looking forward to better opps job wise!
come back to retire - or if your lazy i say....
best thing is to not listen to people but thats hard! im getting in my ear also so i try not to bring subject up!
good luck!
Feb 9th 2004, 2:04 am
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Re: It's our choice at the end of the day?
Originally posted by janeyray
I have found since we told people that we are returning to the Uk I have less and less friends!!!
I had made some nice ones since arriving here but they seem to have stopped phoning so regularly and we don't see them as much, if at all!!
In one way I can understand. They probably think "why should I make the effort to stay friends when she won't be here much longer"? On the other hand I find it quite sad that the friendship was just based on my being here and in the same situation as them, a new migrant from the UK. My Aussie friend and a friend I made of this site are still the same, although upset at our departure I still get invites round for coffee. !!!
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
I have found since we told people that we are returning to the Uk I have less and less friends!!!
I had made some nice ones since arriving here but they seem to have stopped phoning so regularly and we don't see them as much, if at all!!
In one way I can understand. They probably think "why should I make the effort to stay friends when she won't be here much longer"? On the other hand I find it quite sad that the friendship was just based on my being here and in the same situation as them, a new migrant from the UK. My Aussie friend and a friend I made of this site are still the same, although upset at our departure I still get invites round for coffee. !!!
I have also found that a lot of people I meet who are new here and some not so close friends in the UK say " how can you come/go back to the UK? then I get a 10 minute lecture about the UK, as if I've never lived there before and what a waste to return. Why can't it be accepted that this is our decision as it was our decision to come here? After all I don't go on about the bad things here and moan about why I'am leaving, I save that for this forum!!!!!! lol
Just feeling a bit down today, and haven't got any friends left to share my thoughts with!!!!!!!!!
That is a shame and not very nice......why should that make any differance. Dont take any notice just make your plans........
And what are your plans ?.
Feb 9th 2004, 2:49 am
#11
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Originally posted by jat
hi
your all not alone - im in melbourne - been here 4 years and have never settled.. im in the process of selling everything and cant wait to go! plan is to leave april....
ive had similar responses from people - however i just state quite cleary that im on my own here unlike them (im 32 and single) and they cant really respond to that as they are mostly in couples! they wouldnt survive 5 minutes on their own!..
hi
your all not alone - im in melbourne - been here 4 years and have never settled.. im in the process of selling everything and cant wait to go! plan is to leave april....
ive had similar responses from people - however i just state quite cleary that im on my own here unlike them (im 32 and single) and they cant really respond to that as they are mostly in couples! they wouldnt survive 5 minutes on their own!..
People: if you're thinking about emigrating to Oz, use jat's words to get a counterbalance to an over-rosy view of Australia.
Feb 9th 2004, 3:03 am
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Originally posted by MikeStanton
You're 100% spot on!
People: if you're thinking about emigrating to Oz, use jat's words to get a counterbalance to an over-rosy view of Australia.
You're 100% spot on!
People: if you're thinking about emigrating to Oz, use jat's words to get a counterbalance to an over-rosy view of Australia.
thanks for that - thought i was the only one - until i came across this site last week - its stopped me questioning everything ive been thinking of for the last 3 years....
im so bored in oz i could get up and go tomorrow! and i forgot to mention - how many ozzies want to live over in europe/uk! they all do. you seem to have been here a while mike - is that correct? as a chartered accountant i find the opp so limited here that i feel like im going backward.... to buy a house here would be so hard - due to stamp duty etc etc... and you also need cash to go home if needs be so even on a high salary its not all easy..
and the ozzie men - dont even start me...! they cant stand a women with a mind of her own ! they just like 'yes women' - the amount of female friends who i do not envy cause of all the crap they put up with - and they still find a feeble excuse to stay with them - sorry im rambling on and on!
when do you head back mike?
and where to?
Feb 9th 2004, 3:06 am
#13
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Originally posted by angelica
I'm in Rockingham. As for friends still in UK or newly arrived here, I havent mentioned anything to them either, feeling a bit two faced at the moment
Dont worry about the house it will sell if the price is realistic. Some of the houses are way over the top & arent selling, obviously greedy people or not bothered about moving!
I'm in Rockingham. As for friends still in UK or newly arrived here, I havent mentioned anything to them either, feeling a bit two faced at the moment
Dont worry about the house it will sell if the price is realistic. Some of the houses are way over the top & arent selling, obviously greedy people or not bothered about moving!
Feb 9th 2004, 3:12 am
#14
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Originally posted by jat
cheers mike
thanks for that - thought i was the only one - until i came across this site last week - its stopped me questioning everything ive been thinking of for the last 3 years....
im so bored in oz i could get up and go tomorrow!
cheers mike
thanks for that - thought i was the only one - until i came across this site last week - its stopped me questioning everything ive been thinking of for the last 3 years....
im so bored in oz i could get up and go tomorrow!
Interesting re:your comments on Aussie men. Some lady friends commented - in '89! - that the Aussie women are fine, but the men are appalling. Oz just loves the rough,tough stereotype male - look at the beer and car adverts. But, in reality, if they were so sure of themselves, why does Oz have one of the highest suicide rates in the world for young men?
Feb 9th 2004, 3:13 am
#15
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hi
can i just ask all the perth people ...
ive often thought of trying perth before i head home as i have some friends there... but ive decided thats it probably going to be the same same same..... still away from home, still in oz etc etc
ive heard (from people who are from there) that if im bored with mel ill be worse in perth?
and its hard to get into?
any advice?
- more than likely go over there for month to visit before flying back to uk.....
can i just ask all the perth people ...
ive often thought of trying perth before i head home as i have some friends there... but ive decided thats it probably going to be the same same same..... still away from home, still in oz etc etc
ive heard (from people who are from there) that if im bored with mel ill be worse in perth?
and its hard to get into?
any advice?
- more than likely go over there for month to visit before flying back to uk.....