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If you'd had a crystal ball.....

If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:16 am
  #16  
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by dunroving
Sounds like you and I are in a similar situation (i.e., twins, but with few other ties to the UK). You are right to think carefully about your return, it's easy to assume you can just take up where you left off.

If I had a crystal ball back in 1983, I would definitely do it again. Going overseas, first to teach (few teaching jobs in the UK back then), then to study, then to teach again, provided me with lots of great opportunities that changed my life immeasurably.
So what's your story? Are you back in the UK now? How did/do you manage being separated from your twin? I have a hard time thinking that me and my twin will be separated for ever.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:19 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by VCox
Have you resigned yourself to staying in Australia? Would your OH consider going back to the UK?
She says she would, and I think she means it, but I think circumstances will make it difficult. Two young kids, her family nearby here, small business here that's been an effort to get going. Moving here was hard enough, I wonder if going back would be just as bad/worse.

So yes, I think I have resigned myself to staying here. And I'm not miserable about that, I like a fair bit of what's here, but on balance it's not what I'd ideally have chosen for myself I don't think.

Does that make sense?! I'm not sure myself at times!
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:22 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by dickchap
At least i now know the grass isn't always greener.
And that's something valuable to learn At least you tried it and you found out...And you won't ever wonder 'what if?' Me too, I wasn't desperate to leave the UK, I just thought life would be better here for the kids. All the best for your move
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:31 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by VCox
And that's something valuable to learn At least you tried it and you found out...And you won't ever wonder 'what if?' Me too, I wasn't desperate to leave the UK, I just thought life would be better here for the kids. All the best for your move
What a shame that so so many of us Brits are tricked into thinking (by the propaganda of our media at home and the propaganda of the media overseas) that their kids will be vastly better off growing up abroad, in Canada or Australia or wherever.

Quite sad, really.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:33 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Sometimes I wonder if there is an agenda to ''empty out'' the UK by getting loads of people to leave under the belief that life in the UK is awful and they'd be better off overseas.

Just a thought.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:35 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by camponotus

Does that make sense?! I'm not sure myself at times!
Totally makes sense! I like it here but knowing what I know now, I don't think I'd have chosen it as my forever home.

But it was such an effort getting here and settled that to move back I know would be pretty major and I'm reluctant to do it, at least for the moment. But the alternative might be to move cities in Canada and I feel I just haven't got it in me - I'd rather move back to the UK than try and resettle somewhere new again. The Canadian lifestyle just doesn't appeal to me enough to want to do that.

With you having your inlaws there I can imagine it would be harder to consider leaving. We don't have family where we are, so the sense of 'belonging' isn't really there (my husbands family are still a 7 hour flight away even though they're also in Canada )
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 8:46 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by camponotus
Sometimes I wonder if there is an agenda to ''empty out'' the UK by getting loads of people to leave under the belief that life in the UK is awful and they'd be better off overseas.

Just a thought.
Well for me I didn't particularly want to leave the UK but I had the opportunity to, and thought it would lead to a better lifestyle. In the UK hubby was working long hours and at the time I figured we could be mortgage free in Canada & he could take a less stressful job. Unfortunately in the 2 years it took us to research the move, and another child later, house prices rose dramatically in our destination city and the exchange rate also went against us. But we went ahead anyway, even though the financial reasons for making the move no longer existed.

I'm a strong believer in you can make it anywhere you want to be - but you have to want to be there to make it work.

Last edited by VCox; Mar 7th 2009 at 8:49 am.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 9:06 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

We moved to France in 03 & although we don't regret it because we have learnt alot,it has been very hard at times with no money & no help to be found.We would have started the process of moving to Oz long ago instead of staying & hoping things will get better soon.The only advantage is our house has doubled in price but now we've got to find a buyer & we are more independant.If we can survive 6 years in a country where we've had to learn a language & have come with very little money,surely it 'll be a doddle in a country were we can speak the same language & this time have some money too.
After all you live & learn & if you don't try you'll spend the rest of your life wondering"What if?"
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 9:10 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by katana
After all you live & learn & if you don't try you'll spend the rest of your life wondering"What if?"
And if you DO try and it doesn't work you'll equally spend the rest of your life wondering ''what if?''

So it works both ways!
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 9:25 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

True,but there must have been enough reasons to move in the first place.If life before was so perfect we'd have stayed where we were!!
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 9:41 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

[QUOTE=katana;7353824]it 'll be a doddle in a country were we can speak the same language & this time have some money too.
QUOTE]

It must have been doubly hard to be in a country where you had to learn the language. Just something to bear in mind though, even if another country is english speaking the culture is still very different. Language apart, I have found Canada very foreign and have often been grateful that at least I didn't have a language barrier to deal with too - cultural/social differences were enough in themselves!

Though like you say, compared to your first move abroad the next one will hopefully be a whole lot easier. All the best.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 9:46 am
  #27  
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by camponotus
And if you DO try and it doesn't work you'll equally spend the rest of your life wondering ''what if?''

So it works both ways!
Yes true, but you have to remember the reasons for going in the first place. You had valid reasons at the time so it's not worth even thinking about how better off you'd have been if you didn't go. Particularly when you're married to a 'foreign' spouse (for want of a better term) like we are - it's not like you just woke up one day and decided to emigrate and set about deciding where to go. Marrying someone from another country inevitably brings dilemmas about where to settle in the future, even if we didn't realise it when we married them
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 10:33 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by VCox
So what's your story? Are you back in the UK now? How did/do you manage being separated from your twin? I have a hard time thinking that me and my twin will be separated for ever.
Yes, I've been back since July 2006 (click on my profile to see the timelines of my various bouncing around). Ironically, my twin is currently overseas (UAE).

When I first left in 1983, life overseas was full of things to do, and my brother started a family so his life was very full, plus back then it was nigh on impossible to keep in touch other than by letters (no internet, no cheap international call plans).

Ironically, I think it was actually easier back then to just get on with life, separated by 1,000's of miles, specifically because of the lack of communication. These days, with constant Web cam access, email, cheap calls, etc., I thinkit can be more of a wrench (because you are constantly reminded of what/who you are missing).

My plan is to get back to the States. My brother and I (we are identical twins, BTW) have talked long and hard about the possibility you describe above. I think both of us had this plan that eventually we would live within a stone's throw of each other in the UK and visit regularly, etc. But he recognizes what I need to to improve my quality of life and we will simply have to get by on seeing each other infrequently, but making the most of those visits.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 10:44 am
  #29  
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

Originally Posted by VCox
I'm a strong believer in you can make it anywhere you want to be - but you have to want to be there to make it work.
Absolutely true.
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Old Mar 7th 2009, 10:45 am
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Default Re: If you'd had a crystal ball.....

I first came to Australia from Britain in 1989 and have since moved back to England and back to Australia again.

I have had many many fantastic and exciting experiences as a result. It has broadened my outlook on life considerably.

I'm currently still in Australia (and undecided still about whether to move back again) and I have a reasonably good job, live in a nice house, and enjoy a high standard of living.

But as to the question asked, the answer is a very firm and definite "NO WAY!". If I could turn back the clock to 1989 and know what I know now, I would not consider leaving England, even for a minute.
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