camponotus

If you had had a crystal ball when you made the move abroad (e.g. to Australia) from the UK, and had thus been able to foresee exactly what life was going to be like at your planned destination, and all the ups/downs you were going to experience, would you still have come?

Just out of interest, of course! I know a lot of the fascists on here object to these kind of discussions, lest they might lead to some Australia bashing, but please post your thoughts honestly and voice whichever view is true of you.

tieve

Interesting question

I would definitely still have come, 100% for sure I would have. I came out to join my fiance and I was so damn miserable in the UK without him at the time that it really was the only solution.

What would be different though is that I would have viewed my move as temporary all along, and spent more time here out enjoying it. I have spent entire weeks on and off over the three years I've been here curled up in a ball crying trying to get my head around 'me' and where I belong. I could have done without that!

Now that I know we're moving back to Scotland, life is amazing once again. I still have nine more months here, but they're all going to be as good as the past two have been!

tieve

Just re-read the original question and realised about knowing the ups and downs etc... and my answer is still yes. As hard as some times have been, I have changed so much during my time here and I know it's for the better. I appreciate so much about my family and small town life in Scotland now. So I'm going home a better person.

VCox

I was interested to read your response, what you said is exactly what I was thinking only today about moving back to my home town in the UK.

I came to Canada with my Canadian hubby 2 years ago and we're suddenly at the point of deciding whether to move back to the UK (he was laid off in January and has been unable to find another job). I've never been one for regrets but I found myself thinking what a huge mistake it was to have uprooted the family to move here. But like you say, I will certainly go back a wiser person and will appreciate the things I used to take for granted. Like living in the town I grew up in ,with family close by, which before I used to think showed lack of ambition.

I'm not sure I'd do it over again, knowing what I know now, because we have children and I'm conscious of the effect on them - but I try and see the positives and the experience has definitely taught me to be 'happy with my lot' rather than always searching for something more exciting.

There's lots of things I love about living here (the climate and outdoor activities) but it's hard balancing that with missing my family. I am a twin and that aspect has been a lot harder to deal with than I thought it would be.

camponotus

I think some people do not have things/people/places to whom they feel massively attached, and perhaps do not draw huge amounts of comfort from familiarity. These are the people I think that find it relatively ''easy'' to go and live overseas, be it Canada, Australia or New Zealand, or indeed wherever.

Some people are more ''independent'' and ''free-spirited''; they will find the place they think is sunnier/less-crowded/cheaper and be perfectly happy to live there forever. There seems to be a sense that these people are somehow the ones with the ''right idea'' about life; if you are someone who finds themselves really missing the UK (or wherever you've come from) it is almost like you have to explain/justify yourself with the ''how could you possibly prefer the UK?!" crowd.

I just find myself thinking about the people and places I'd love to see and things I'd love to do that living in another country prevents me from experiencing.

My big fear is that if I ever did go back to the UK (which, I think, circumstancially, will never happen) I'd miss Australia and regret going back to England, because it's all swings and roundabouts and I think once you've left your home to live abroad you sort of become a bit ''homeless'' in the sense that home is less clearly defined now.

camponotus

This makes it a lot easier; I have the problem that my wife is Aussie. If we were both Brits I think a mutual decision would be a lot more straightforward.

Ruby Murray

Oh God do I wish I had that crystal ball 3 and a half years ago!! No, I would absolutely not have come back here a 2nd time only to watch every cent/penny of our money run down the plug hole...and to go through the pain of losing an immediate family member while being so far away...both situations that have caused huge mental and relationship stress.

A very good question/topic!

camponotus

Sorry to hear that you've had a bad time of it.

Thanks for the compliment on the topic. According to the Aussie Apologists on this site (huge numbers of them) everything I say is total bull crap.

dingbat

We're in Canada. We don't care about the Godzoners. No, I would never, ever have come here.

VCox

Why? Interested to know what you don't like about it? Where in BC are you?

FWIW I love the place (ie scenery, space, climate) just not too fond of the people/attitudes here. I married a Canadian 11 years ago so thought I knew what I was getting into

VCox

I think that's very true, and my twin is the only real tie I have to the UK. I think it's easy to forget that life moves on and I'm sure that were we to return to the UK things would be very different - the memories of people, places would still be just that because things will have changed and it won't be as it was when we left.

And I also feel a certain 'resentment' from some friends because we upped and left, and I know things would never be the same with them again. It's like you chose something better and moved away, and in the same token they've distanced themselves and moved on with their lives .

How long have you been in Australia? I always thought my move to Canada was permanent and that you have to give it at least 2 years to settle in a new country - it's a bit disconcerting that I'm approaching that anniversary and we're having doubts about staying.

camponotus

I've been here 3 and a half years now. I ''knew'' that it wasn't 100% right for me when I got here but it wasn't until I went back for a visit to the UK December-January 07/08 that I realised how unsettled I really felt in Australia. I've been painfully aware of that ever since then.

dunroving

Sounds like you and I are in a similar situation (i.e., twins, but with few other ties to the UK). You are right to think carefully about your return, it's easy to assume you can just take up where you left off.

If I had a crystal ball back in 1983, I would definitely do it again. Going overseas, first to teach (few teaching jobs in the UK back then), then to study, then to teach again, provided me with lots of great opportunities that changed my life immeasurably.

dickchap

If I had crystal ball I would not have come here. We didn't come because we hated the UK or anything. We came because we thought it would improve our life. I thought my boys would be more active and spend more time enjoying the outdoors. It turns out our life in the UK is better and since coming we have spent more time indoors due to heat/rain. We are currently preparing for cyclone Hamish! and I'm scared! If i had known what I do now I wouldn't have taken my boys away from their family and friends. It has put a huge strain on a normally happy family and so we are going home, back to a life we once enjoyed. At least i now know the grass isn't always greener.

VCox

Have you resigned yourself to staying in Australia? Would your OH consider going back to the UK?