Fat Bloke

I sit here tonight just feeling a bit numb about this whole situation.

As bob Dylan once said "I got a mixed up confusion Man an' it's a-killin' me. There's just too many people An' they're all too hard to please."

Kind of sums up the situation for me.

I just want to get a resolution and get on with life again but it is so hard. The wife and I talked (Argued) about returning to the UK with her now firmly rooted in Australia and loving it here and me hating it and wanting to move back ASAP. We agreed to drop the whole subject for 6 months and see where we stand then but it seems to me that I am just bending over and taking a shafting, I know she will not change her stance and that in six months she will try and move the goalposts back again.

We do have a good life here in Australia, a much better standard of living than we had in the UK, more money, more disposable income and the rest of the family love it here, to them they are in paradise. I just wish I could click in to place and enjoy it but I can't. I miss my family, my friends and the whole life I had built over 35 years in the UK. I miss walking down the familiar streets and bumping in to someone/anyone that I had not seen in a while and stopping for a chat, that will never happen here in oz as we know no-one, just the little things...

I miss everything I had and hate everything I have here.

Just wanted to get that off my chest.

Fleaflyfloflum

You know FB, thats one of the things i really miss. Bumping into familiar faces. Probably sounds daft to some, but i loved seeing people down the shops, some i probably never spoke to but were local figures and faces you got used to.
There are a few familiar faces here now after being in Sydney a couple of years, but its just not the same and i cant explain it.

I truly do feel for you. I would hate to be in your position.

krizzy

Living in a small town I still get to chat to people ...everyone knows everyone around here.....but we don't have a history ...we are just people who sometimes have a BBQ...or who took their kids to hockey together a few years back...

I've found a few Brit friends in the last 2 or so years ....and its like I've known them forever...

Shivster

I miss people popping in. No one pops in over here.

Fat Bloke, has your wife said she's open to the idea at all or has she just said six months to get you to shut up?

What about actually looking for a job back home so you could show her that you have good prospects over there? Is there any way you could swing a trip back with her?

Kath & Graham

Thats sad My OH misses UK recently hes been saying hes got no real friends here, hes tried really hard with a few of the couples OH we have met but they havent clicked, he feels a bit like "Billy No Mates"...

Horrid for a woman must be worse for a man

chin up - you must be torn in two.......

seasprite

I know what you mean about the little things...they seem trifling to others but all added up they come to quite alot of "not quite right"! It is difficult to convey to people who don't feel the same way. I even missed smells and sounds.
The other day I drove past the local pub and saw a bloke sitting outside who was a bank colleage (20 years ago) until he nicked from them. Just one of those people in life you sometimes think "whatever happened to so and so". I see various familiar faces around Dorset and it helps me feel grounded and as though I belong. That is key. Also I KNOW my country, the humor,the history, the ways of people, the tv references, the old ads..all that crap that accumulates in your brain and is forever a part of you.I would never know anywhere else so intimately.
Anyway, enough waffle, solutions...there is no easy one here is there. Upset all around initially. Perhaps the lifestyle lure will wear off? I think you need to know what will be happening at the end of this next 6 months. Plan A and plan B. If not I fear the 6 months will increase to another and another. Thinking of you.

britvic

Well that makes a change seeing a Bloke admit he hates it. Wishing you all the best.

TruBrit

yes, i know where you are coming from....our standard of living is the same as in blighty so it's not that it's just the ordinary mundane things that you mentioned that i miss also. i wish i could snap out of it and enjoy life here coz that would be the easy solution for me.

good you found BE to get it off your chest....take care

Dave_Was

I know exactly what you are saying. It's the same for me here in the US. I have a fantastic job, good money both take home and disposable.

But I miss seeing people I don't get to see when I go back for a holiday, I miss not being able just to pick up my niece and nephew and go to the park, I miss not being able to argue with my mum and dad about the naff wallpaper they bought, I miss not being able to sit down with them and complain that nothings on the TV and it's been raining all year.

If I lost my job tomorrow, in a way it would be easier as I could just say well I don't have a job here and I might not have one there and then just go. But the sensible part of me says think carefully about walking away from this job.

It sounds like a difficult situation in the sense that your wife seems really set in Aus. Does she really, and I mean really understand how difficult it is for you? Would it be possible to take her away from all distractions for a few hours and really explain how your feeling.

I spoke to a friend of mine on Monday, about my situation and he said if you've made up your mind to go, don't plan to do it in two years, do it now. Time doesn't stop for anyone or anything. Gave me something to really think about.

Good luck and anytime you need to vent we'll be here.

Dave_Was

I wish I could do the same, just snap out of it. I wrote everything down on a piece of paper to do that pro and con bit. The pro's of staying here were huge.. but on the other side.. my mum, dad, brother, etc.

I don't know what I'll do good luck though.

Dave_Was

Just one last thing, your subject title is

I wonder what the future holds...

Is that really a question or and indication you know the answer and don't want to admit it?

Not a judgement, I've been there before and just thought I would ask.

Sally

FB you have summarised the lost ex-pat feeling. Some days I love the weather, space, malls and beach. Other I think this is the stupidest and most superficial place imaginable with people yeah like totally wrapped up in the latest designer handbag.

Give it your best shot though, sometimes we can fantasize about how good our old friends and family would really be on a day-to-day basis. Keep the channels of communication open between yourself and your wife and family so that they can help you.

Good luck.

Shivster

God that's so true! I do miss the good old British whinges that really don't mean anything but are kind of part of our culture. Bizarre thing to miss but I do.

TruBrit

i think we make up for it on here tbh

Shivster

I like to do my part.