I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Jun 25th 2009, 3:23 am
#1
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
I realise that you've all probably said it all before and it exists somewhere in the bowels of this forum, but, I'd really like to hear everyone's story, Please! 
This is mine.
Even though I've not gone back yet, I know that it WILL happen
I think that it's been a toughie for us because 9 months in there's still no work for hubby. My contract ends soon and I've got nothing coming up. We've spent such a large chunk of money on the visa and getting here, I feel that I just can't sit here and watch the rest of our life savings disappear until we've nothing left and no way to get back out of this situation we find ourselves in.
Hubby convinced himself that the recession isn't as bad here as it is in the UK and yet was offered work back there and not here, in spite of applying for 100's of jobs, without even getting an interview... the only work he did since arriving was being a steward for 3 days at Clipsal in the summer
not exactly skilled work!
Perhaps I would feel differently if We'd both found work, who knows?
So now we are a family divided by 12,000 miles as he works in the UK and I stay here, which doesn't make me a happy bunny AT ALL!
I felt a bit homesick before, but now it is becoming all consuming.... I confess, I've had the dog rabies vaccinated (just in case) and it's taking a lot of self control NOT to start packing up the house!!
This is mine.
Even though I've not gone back yet, I know that it WILL happen
I think that it's been a toughie for us because 9 months in there's still no work for hubby. My contract ends soon and I've got nothing coming up. We've spent such a large chunk of money on the visa and getting here, I feel that I just can't sit here and watch the rest of our life savings disappear until we've nothing left and no way to get back out of this situation we find ourselves in. Hubby convinced himself that the recession isn't as bad here as it is in the UK and yet was offered work back there and not here, in spite of applying for 100's of jobs, without even getting an interview... the only work he did since arriving was being a steward for 3 days at Clipsal in the summer
not exactly skilled work! Perhaps I would feel differently if We'd both found work, who knows?
So now we are a family divided by 12,000 miles as he works in the UK and I stay here, which doesn't make me a happy bunny AT ALL!
I felt a bit homesick before, but now it is becoming all consuming.... I confess, I've had the dog rabies vaccinated (just in case
) and it's taking a lot of self control NOT to start packing up the house!! 
Jun 25th 2009, 4:03 am
#2
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
I realise that you've all probably said it all before and it exists somewhere in the bowels of this forum, but, I'd really like to hear everyone's story, Please!
This is mine.
Even though I've not gone back yet, I know that it WILL happen I think that it's been a toughie for us because 9 months in there's still no work for hubby. My contract ends soon and I've got nothing coming up. We've spent such a large chunk of money on the visa and getting here, I feel that I just can't sit here and watch the rest of our life savings disappear until we've nothing left and no way to get back out of this situation we find ourselves in.
Hubby convinced himself that the recession isn't as bad here as it is in the UK and yet was offered work back there and not here, in spite of applying for 100's of jobs, without even getting an interview... the only work he did since arriving was being a steward for 3 days at Clipsal in the summer not exactly skilled work!
Perhaps I would feel differently if We'd both found work, who knows?
So now we are a family divided by 12,000 miles as he works in the UK and I stay here, which doesn't make me a happy bunny AT ALL!
I felt a bit homesick before, but now it is becoming all consuming.... I confess, I've had the dog rabies vaccinated (just in case) and it's taking a lot of self control NOT to start packing up the house!!
This is mine.
Even though I've not gone back yet, I know that it WILL happen
I think that it's been a toughie for us because 9 months in there's still no work for hubby. My contract ends soon and I've got nothing coming up. We've spent such a large chunk of money on the visa and getting here, I feel that I just can't sit here and watch the rest of our life savings disappear until we've nothing left and no way to get back out of this situation we find ourselves in. Hubby convinced himself that the recession isn't as bad here as it is in the UK and yet was offered work back there and not here, in spite of applying for 100's of jobs, without even getting an interview... the only work he did since arriving was being a steward for 3 days at Clipsal in the summer
not exactly skilled work! Perhaps I would feel differently if We'd both found work, who knows?
So now we are a family divided by 12,000 miles as he works in the UK and I stay here, which doesn't make me a happy bunny AT ALL!
I felt a bit homesick before, but now it is becoming all consuming.... I confess, I've had the dog rabies vaccinated (just in case
) and it's taking a lot of self control NOT to start packing up the house!! My story is too long and boring to recite but I am going home after being here in Australia for almost 6 years. Not by choice but circumstances. I am very happy to be returning.
Can I ask, what is stopping you from returning back to the UK?
Jun 25th 2009, 6:04 am
#3
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Have to say I dunno really, except hubby is reluctant to spend anymore money and still thinks we can make a go of it...
TBH, I'm thinking that it might be better to pack up, put it all in storage, go home and make a decision of what to do from the UK either, ping pong but without that massive removal cost , or just ask the shippers to send it all back to the UK because that's where we belong.
.... Oh, I think I just had a lightbulb moment when I realised that a kind of compromise was an option!
TBH, I'm thinking that it might be better to pack up, put it all in storage, go home and make a decision of what to do from the UK either, ping pong but without that massive removal cost , or just ask the shippers to send it all back to the UK because that's where we belong.
.... Oh, I think I just had a lightbulb moment when I realised that a kind of compromise was an option!
Jun 25th 2009, 7:00 am
#4
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Have to say I dunno really, except hubby is reluctant to spend anymore money and still thinks we can make a go of it...
TBH, I'm thinking that it might be better to pack up, put it all in storage, go home and make a decision of what to do from the UK either, ping pong but without that massive removal cost , or just ask the shippers to send it all back to the UK because that's where we belong.
.... Oh, I think I just had a lightbulb moment when I realised that a kind of compromise was an option!
TBH, I'm thinking that it might be better to pack up, put it all in storage, go home and make a decision of what to do from the UK either, ping pong but without that massive removal cost , or just ask the shippers to send it all back to the UK because that's where we belong.
.... Oh, I think I just had a lightbulb moment when I realised that a kind of compromise was an option!
Jun 25th 2009, 7:29 am
#5
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Really didn't hate the UK or think that it was 'going to the dogs' or anything like that. It was more a case of Wanting to 'try' living and working abroad. We've been married forever and had our kids young and they're almost grown now, so we just thought why not!
We also thought it would be handy to have another passport.
I know that I'm moaning, I should really get over myself and I will once I decide exactly what I'm going to do. In a perfect world Hubby would have been able to stay here and work.... Still can't believe that finding a job has been sooo difficult. The message from most recruitment agencies was if only we'd come sooner when things were 'better'! With lots of skilled manufacturing vacancies being filled by people who already have 'Australian Experience'
Didn't help that I spent my birthday without him too.
We also thought it would be handy to have another passport.
I know that I'm moaning, I should really get over myself and I will once I decide exactly what I'm going to do. In a perfect world Hubby would have been able to stay here and work.... Still can't believe that finding a job has been sooo difficult. The message from most recruitment agencies was if only we'd come sooner when things were 'better'! With lots of skilled manufacturing vacancies being filled by people who already have 'Australian Experience'
Didn't help that I spent my birthday without him too.
Jun 25th 2009, 8:05 am
#6
Banned
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,769
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Really didn't hate the UK or think that it was 'going to the dogs' or anything like that. It was more a case of Wanting to 'try' living and working abroad. We've been married forever and had our kids young and they're almost grown now, so we just thought why not!
We also thought it would be handy to have another passport.
I know that I'm moaning, I should really get over myself and I will once I decide exactly what I'm going to do. In a perfect world Hubby would have been able to stay here and work.... Still can't believe that finding a job has been sooo difficult. The message from most recruitment agencies was if only we'd come sooner when things were 'better'! With lots of skilled manufacturing vacancies being filled by people who already have 'Australian Experience'
Didn't help that I spent my birthday without him too.
We also thought it would be handy to have another passport.
I know that I'm moaning, I should really get over myself and I will once I decide exactly what I'm going to do. In a perfect world Hubby would have been able to stay here and work.... Still can't believe that finding a job has been sooo difficult. The message from most recruitment agencies was if only we'd come sooner when things were 'better'! With lots of skilled manufacturing vacancies being filled by people who already have 'Australian Experience'
Didn't help that I spent my birthday without him too.
I honestly think the job situation is here to stay for a while. The recession hit the UK almost a year ago and it's starting to impact here in Oz now. Maybe your timing is wrong, not the place, just circumstances.
Perhaps putting your stuff into storage, going home and being with your hubby might be the best idea, then see how it goes in 6 months time.
The Aussies will give jobs to Aussies first. They are very loyal in this respect.
Jun 25th 2009, 10:01 am
#7
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Been here 30 years (and 3 months on Sunday) - but who is counting?
First 10 years, fine, not a problem, major "I'm living an adventure" kind of experience, no homesickness, could cope by the occasional visit home. Second 10 years, more need to go home and more often, missing more things - not the folks because they came out for 6 months of every year - and becoming more irritated with Australia - the heat, the flies, the jawdropping boredom of it all. Last 10 years - stir crazy ameliorated only by at least a month home every year and an increasingly heartbreaking departure each time.
Why? Heavens knows but I have never "belonged" here. There has always been something slightly alien which has made me live in a sort of limbo where my head was telling me that I was home here but my heart wasnt and vice versa in UK. Dh is an Aussie and while I thought I had a choice about where we would be spending our retirement then I could hack it here but he wont go home with me, not even for 6 months a year (it would ruin his carbon footprint and what more do you need out of life than to be able to watch your lettuces grow and to read a good book?!)
.
Australia is a nice place for a holiday, even quite a long holiday but for the "forever" bit it has absolutely not a thing that I want or need. I could leave here tomorrow (with the DH of course!) with not a backward glance other than to promise occasional visits to catch up with the granddaughter. As there is a very strong chance I will have grandchildren here and there it doesnt really matter to me as long as they or I can visit occasionally - I am going to be missing out on one lot of them wherever I am. What I do need is my heritage, my people, my history, variety, long summer nights and seasonal hedgerows, laughter and just a sense of walking down a street and knowing I belong there.
I am sorry for anyone whose dream goes pearshaped for whatever reason. Maybe that is one reason I would never encourage anyone to migrate in search of a dream. By all means come for an adventure or to chase an opportunity not to be missed but be active in your decision making about whether your adventure/opportunity is slowly becoming a chore before you have that decision taken away from you by circumstances beyond your control.
First 10 years, fine, not a problem, major "I'm living an adventure" kind of experience, no homesickness, could cope by the occasional visit home. Second 10 years, more need to go home and more often, missing more things - not the folks because they came out for 6 months of every year - and becoming more irritated with Australia - the heat, the flies, the jawdropping boredom of it all. Last 10 years - stir crazy ameliorated only by at least a month home every year and an increasingly heartbreaking departure each time.
Why? Heavens knows but I have never "belonged" here. There has always been something slightly alien which has made me live in a sort of limbo where my head was telling me that I was home here but my heart wasnt and vice versa in UK. Dh is an Aussie and while I thought I had a choice about where we would be spending our retirement then I could hack it here but he wont go home with me, not even for 6 months a year (it would ruin his carbon footprint and what more do you need out of life than to be able to watch your lettuces grow and to read a good book?!)
. Australia is a nice place for a holiday, even quite a long holiday but for the "forever" bit it has absolutely not a thing that I want or need. I could leave here tomorrow (with the DH of course!) with not a backward glance other than to promise occasional visits to catch up with the granddaughter. As there is a very strong chance I will have grandchildren here and there it doesnt really matter to me as long as they or I can visit occasionally - I am going to be missing out on one lot of them wherever I am. What I do need is my heritage, my people, my history, variety, long summer nights and seasonal hedgerows, laughter and just a sense of walking down a street and knowing I belong there.
I am sorry for anyone whose dream goes pearshaped for whatever reason. Maybe that is one reason I would never encourage anyone to migrate in search of a dream. By all means come for an adventure or to chase an opportunity not to be missed but be active in your decision making about whether your adventure/opportunity is slowly becoming a chore before you have that decision taken away from you by circumstances beyond your control.
Jun 25th 2009, 10:26 am
#8
Éireann go Brách
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: White Man in Hammersmith Palais
Posts: 2,932
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Been here 30 years (and 3 months on Sunday) - but who is counting?
First 10 years, fine, not a problem, major "I'm living an adventure" kind of experience, no homesickness, could cope by the occasional visit home. Second 10 years, more need to go home and more often, missing more things - not the folks because they came out for 6 months of every year - and becoming more irritated with Australia - the heat, the flies, the jawdropping boredom of it all. Last 10 years - stir crazy ameliorated only by at least a month home every year and an increasingly heartbreaking departure each time.
Why? Heavens knows but I have never "belonged" here. There has always been something slightly alien which has made me live in a sort of limbo where my head was telling me that I was home here but my heart wasnt and vice versa in UK. Dh is an Aussie and while I thought I had a choice about where we would be spending our retirement then I could hack it here but he wont go home with me, not even for 6 months a year (it would ruin his carbon footprint and what more do you need out of life than to be able to watch your lettuces grow and to read a good book?!).
Australia is a nice place for a holiday, even quite a long holiday but for the "forever" bit it has absolutely not a thing that I want or need. I could leave here tomorrow (with the DH of course!) with not a backward glance other than to promise occasional visits to catch up with the granddaughter. As there is a very strong chance I will have grandchildren here and there it doesnt really matter to me as long as they or I can visit occasionally - I am going to be missing out on one lot of them wherever I am. What I do need is my heritage, my people, my history, variety, long summer nights and seasonal hedgerows, laughter and just a sense of walking down a street and knowing I belong there.
I am sorry for anyone whose dream goes pearshaped for whatever reason. Maybe that is one reason I would never encourage anyone to migrate in search of a dream. By all means come for an adventure or to chase an opportunity not to be missed but be active in your decision making about whether your adventure/opportunity is slowly becoming a chore before you have that decision taken away from you by circumstances beyond your control.
First 10 years, fine, not a problem, major "I'm living an adventure" kind of experience, no homesickness, could cope by the occasional visit home. Second 10 years, more need to go home and more often, missing more things - not the folks because they came out for 6 months of every year - and becoming more irritated with Australia - the heat, the flies, the jawdropping boredom of it all. Last 10 years - stir crazy ameliorated only by at least a month home every year and an increasingly heartbreaking departure each time.
Why? Heavens knows but I have never "belonged" here. There has always been something slightly alien which has made me live in a sort of limbo where my head was telling me that I was home here but my heart wasnt and vice versa in UK. Dh is an Aussie and while I thought I had a choice about where we would be spending our retirement then I could hack it here but he wont go home with me, not even for 6 months a year (it would ruin his carbon footprint and what more do you need out of life than to be able to watch your lettuces grow and to read a good book?!)
. Australia is a nice place for a holiday, even quite a long holiday but for the "forever" bit it has absolutely not a thing that I want or need. I could leave here tomorrow (with the DH of course!) with not a backward glance other than to promise occasional visits to catch up with the granddaughter. As there is a very strong chance I will have grandchildren here and there it doesnt really matter to me as long as they or I can visit occasionally - I am going to be missing out on one lot of them wherever I am. What I do need is my heritage, my people, my history, variety, long summer nights and seasonal hedgerows, laughter and just a sense of walking down a street and knowing I belong there.
I am sorry for anyone whose dream goes pearshaped for whatever reason. Maybe that is one reason I would never encourage anyone to migrate in search of a dream. By all means come for an adventure or to chase an opportunity not to be missed but be active in your decision making about whether your adventure/opportunity is slowly becoming a chore before you have that decision taken away from you by circumstances beyond your control.
And if you do go back who's going be the one who talks the most sense on MBTTUK forum, eh?
What a selfish Aussie you've turned in
Jun 25th 2009, 1:22 pm
#10
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
too funny Londonuck!
Thanks for your story, it's nice to hear how others came to be here. I hope that you can find some resolution to your problem.
Maybe you can persuade him to do a year about.... it does reduce the carbon footprint by half, and you can grow lettuce in the UK too!!!
Marrying a foreigner as, I have heard said before means that at least one of you will always be living away from 'home' but you do love him. (At least I hope you do!
) after all you've managed 30 years together
Thanks for your story, it's nice to hear how others came to be here. I hope that you can find some resolution to your problem.
Maybe you can persuade him to do a year about.... it does reduce the carbon footprint by half, and you can grow lettuce in the UK too!!!
Marrying a foreigner as, I have heard said before means that at least one of you will always be living away from 'home' but you do love him. (At least I hope you do!
) after all you've managed 30 years together
Jun 25th 2009, 4:52 pm
#11
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: Cochrane, Alberta
Posts: 7,861
Jun 25th 2009, 6:32 pm
#12
Account Closed
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 3,533
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
Too long a story. Very dull. Full of emotional twaddle and drame.
Would've been lost without the MBTTUK section some days.
Would've been lost without the MBTTUK section some days.
Jun 25th 2009, 10:37 pm
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 1,216
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
A long time ago.....when I was engaged to now DH and he was moving to the US under the Fiance Visa program, a friend recommended the Marriage Based Visa sub-forum in the USA Forum here on BritishExpats. That forum was a lifesaver for helong us get thru the US immigration system. When we decided to sell up and move to the UK, this was the first place I came to for practical advice on our move....we moved back 4 years ago this November. I don't visit here as often as I used to, but I still pop in about once a week or so to see what's going on and to add to the conversation if I can.
Jun 26th 2009, 1:19 am
#14
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: Beerwah, SE QLD hinterland
Posts: 229
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
I live in MBTTUK because I wanna desperately go home but my wife dosnt, I skulk around here torturing myself by reading other peoples going home stories, sad eh?
When she finally gets fed up of the place and we set the wheels in motion my post in here will have bigger fancier fonts then yours, then I can leave this forum a happy man
When she finally gets fed up of the place and we set the wheels in motion my post in here will have bigger fancier fonts then yours, then I can leave this forum a happy man
Jun 26th 2009, 2:16 am
#15
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: I want to Hear your story.... How did you end up on MBTTUK?
I live in MBTTUK because I wanna desperately go home but my wife dosnt, I skulk around here torturing myself by reading other peoples going home stories, sad eh?
When she finally gets fed up of the place and we set the wheels in motion my post in here will have bigger fancier fonts then yours, then I can leave this forum a happy man
When she finally gets fed up of the place and we set the wheels in motion my post in here will have bigger fancier fonts then yours, then I can leave this forum a happy man