I think I want to go back.
#16
Re: I think I want to go back.
.....
Interesting that I find nothing here that I would miss if I were never to return!!! I hate the same-ness of the weather, the culture is barren in comparison, the history is negligible, the people are nice enough but not as cohesive a community as I am used to, the wildlife is alright but you can have too many screechy cockatoos and wattle makes me sneeze. Nope, not a single thing about Australia per se that I would ever care if I never saw again. The son and his family obviously but that is about it.
Interesting that I find nothing here that I would miss if I were never to return!!! I hate the same-ness of the weather, the culture is barren in comparison, the history is negligible, the people are nice enough but not as cohesive a community as I am used to, the wildlife is alright but you can have too many screechy cockatoos and wattle makes me sneeze. Nope, not a single thing about Australia per se that I would ever care if I never saw again. The son and his family obviously but that is about it.
I agree with all of your list of things not to miss! The only thing at the moment I think I might miss is the brightness of the weather so when I go back I'll just have to invest in loads of those daylight-simulating lights I guess.
#17
Re: I think I want to go back.
Not trying to pick a fight here but you are also choosing a country over your family if you leave him there
#18
Re: I think I want to go back.
id like to know what percentage of brits that come down to the antipodes end up moving back within 5 yrs...
ive been here 4 and will get citizenship in march/april...after that ill move back to the uk.
we just went back for xmas and it was so hard getting on that plane at heathrow to come back to the isolation that my life in oz has become.
on a side note...does anyone know how long the citizenship process takes? (once i become eligibale)?...ie, how long do i have to wait for a ceremony etc
ive been here 4 and will get citizenship in march/april...after that ill move back to the uk.
we just went back for xmas and it was so hard getting on that plane at heathrow to come back to the isolation that my life in oz has become.
on a side note...does anyone know how long the citizenship process takes? (once i become eligibale)?...ie, how long do i have to wait for a ceremony etc
Of course everyones time frame is going to be different and i believe i was very unlucky to get myself a real plonker of a case officer (felt like i was on PD lol) I did ring the Citizenship office and could be put through to a phone message that tells you how long applications are currently taking.
Cheers
Cally
#19
Just Joined
Joined: Nov 2007
Location: south east queensland
Posts: 4
Re: I think I want to go back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by itsasecret
Its been on the cards for a while, I keep having these really horrible sinking feelings for sometime that I belong back in England. Im a guy and I hope I am not alone with these feelings. we have been here (Australia) for 3.5years I have a great job etc and the wife is very settled.
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
Originally Posted by itsasecret
Its been on the cards for a while, I keep having these really horrible sinking feelings for sometime that I belong back in England. Im a guy and I hope I am not alone with these feelings. we have been here (Australia) for 3.5years I have a great job etc and the wife is very settled.
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
We have spoken about it and whilst she is fairly settled here she has said that she misses family and friends and that she still considers the uk home and has agreed to move back to uk, but not before she can get her citizenship which will be early next year.
Fortunately we can compromise on the situation so i'm off back to the uk for the summer and as we already had a trip back booked for xmas 08 the few remaining months I have to spend here is tolerable, otherwise i'd be on a plane back asap.
It's not an ideal situation as we cant settle for another 18 months or so but like I said its a compromise that both of us can accept
Quote:
Originally Posted by billybaxter
id like to know what percentage of brits that come down to the antipodes end up moving back within 5 yrs...
ive been here 4 and will get citizenship in march/april...after that ill move back to the uk.
Originally Posted by billybaxter
id like to know what percentage of brits that come down to the antipodes end up moving back within 5 yrs...
ive been here 4 and will get citizenship in march/april...after that ill move back to the uk.
#20
Re: I think I want to go back.
Under the pre-July 07 rules some people had to wait longer if they initially arrived on a temporary visa, because only time on a permanent visa counts (normally).
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 260
Re: I think I want to go back.
Yes Me!
But fortunately, the wife is willing to come back too. We lived in NZ, enjoyed it for a while but I have spent the past 6 months knowing I want to go back but stuck at it, wife has a great job and likes NZ, daughter settled but no matter what people say about the UK I prefer it. Talked with the wife about it and we started looking at houses and cars back in the UK over the internet and she just said OK we'll go back then, we can always come back to NZ if it doesn't work out. We get home in just over a week now and can't wait!
But I was 100% certain that I wanted to go back and at this point have no desire to return to NZ, don't get me wrong not slating the country it's a great place, I just want to be back in the UK, I like it there!
When you get to the 100% certain stage you need to talk to her about how you feel and why you want to go back, maybe if you raise it again she will take you more seriously.
Good Luck.
But fortunately, the wife is willing to come back too. We lived in NZ, enjoyed it for a while but I have spent the past 6 months knowing I want to go back but stuck at it, wife has a great job and likes NZ, daughter settled but no matter what people say about the UK I prefer it. Talked with the wife about it and we started looking at houses and cars back in the UK over the internet and she just said OK we'll go back then, we can always come back to NZ if it doesn't work out. We get home in just over a week now and can't wait!
But I was 100% certain that I wanted to go back and at this point have no desire to return to NZ, don't get me wrong not slating the country it's a great place, I just want to be back in the UK, I like it there!
When you get to the 100% certain stage you need to talk to her about how you feel and why you want to go back, maybe if you raise it again she will take you more seriously.
Good Luck.
Like you we all (Family of 6, 2 dogs and one cat) went out to NZ to live for 18months, half the family wanted to return to Uk and half wanted to stay but we went out as a family and came home as one, eventually, but I Knew very early on that it was not the country for me, and the argumetns and stress it caused were immense. I think the hardest part is saying to your partner, I just cannot do this any more! We returned in June/July 07 and I have no regrets about returning home. I am British born and Bred. Emmigration has not put me off, I could do it again, but NZ just wasn't the country.
#22
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 240
Re: I think I want to go back.
hello everyone,, some of you may remember my post nearly 1 year ago to the day,, funny that this time of year can be depressing for us all wanting to go back.
Anyway Thought I would update everyone. Its been a year since I posted on here, saying that I wanted to go back(uk from oz) Well the feelings came and went and then back again in waves. What a mess I think i wanted to give it longer to see if was just a phase, but we went back in September for 5 weeks and although the weather was shocking , we had a great time and the kids were spoilt by nanna etc..
When we was back in the uk for the holiday, I sat back and listened to my wife and she did say that she would eventually come back.. but of course i needed to get back to Oz to see if i was just confused myself , i thought when i went back to Oz after 5 weeks holiday in uk , i would start talking about moving back more with my wife, but in fact i found that i didnt speak about it, but i know now the feeling will never go away and i must face up to her and really start to talk about it. Problem is i am not good at expressing my feelings because i am worried about the reaction.
The kids, well the oldest (6yrs old girl) loves it out here, she has a great life, we live in a very friendly cul-de-sac with loads of kids, they all play out all the time. We live in a big house 5 bedrooms with the biggest pool in the street so loads for kids to do, i have a good paid job ($160k +super p/a in Brisbane) etc.... i would be given up all this to start again. Wife has a new small business but its home business and she could do the same in the uk. I read some post on this section of BE and see a few comments about wages and wondered if any of you earned alot whilst abroad would you be thinking the same? I know you cant help but miss things about uk, but I wondered if any of you are in similar situation than me (excellent job, brilliant boss and good wage and very happy young kids?)
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
Anyway Thought I would update everyone. Its been a year since I posted on here, saying that I wanted to go back(uk from oz) Well the feelings came and went and then back again in waves. What a mess I think i wanted to give it longer to see if was just a phase, but we went back in September for 5 weeks and although the weather was shocking , we had a great time and the kids were spoilt by nanna etc..
When we was back in the uk for the holiday, I sat back and listened to my wife and she did say that she would eventually come back.. but of course i needed to get back to Oz to see if i was just confused myself , i thought when i went back to Oz after 5 weeks holiday in uk , i would start talking about moving back more with my wife, but in fact i found that i didnt speak about it, but i know now the feeling will never go away and i must face up to her and really start to talk about it. Problem is i am not good at expressing my feelings because i am worried about the reaction.
The kids, well the oldest (6yrs old girl) loves it out here, she has a great life, we live in a very friendly cul-de-sac with loads of kids, they all play out all the time. We live in a big house 5 bedrooms with the biggest pool in the street so loads for kids to do, i have a good paid job ($160k +super p/a in Brisbane) etc.... i would be given up all this to start again. Wife has a new small business but its home business and she could do the same in the uk. I read some post on this section of BE and see a few comments about wages and wondered if any of you earned alot whilst abroad would you be thinking the same? I know you cant help but miss things about uk, but I wondered if any of you are in similar situation than me (excellent job, brilliant boss and good wage and very happy young kids?)
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
#23
Re: I think I want to go back.
Hi there I just wanted to say be yourself and tell your wife exactly how you feel, if you dont she will guess something up anyhow and start asking the what are you thinking question lol....
The thing is she is going to react to what you are feeling in one way or another so dont be afraid to speak up, just say what you feel and if she reacts badly i would suggest just dont react to what she says herself just listen and hear her out, tell her you are pleased that she has given a view and can you discuss it further soon.....take in what she says and take time to process it otherwise if you react she will do the same and thats when reaction can turn into nasty dissagreements where neither hears what the other one is actually saying and round and round you go.
Just my suggestion but i wish you well with it all
Cheers
Cally
The thing is she is going to react to what you are feeling in one way or another so dont be afraid to speak up, just say what you feel and if she reacts badly i would suggest just dont react to what she says herself just listen and hear her out, tell her you are pleased that she has given a view and can you discuss it further soon.....take in what she says and take time to process it otherwise if you react she will do the same and thats when reaction can turn into nasty dissagreements where neither hears what the other one is actually saying and round and round you go.
Just my suggestion but i wish you well with it all
Cheers
Cally
hello everyone,, some of you may remember my post nearly 1 year ago to the day,, funny that this time of year can be depressing for us all wanting to go back.
Anyway Thought I would update everyone. Its been a year since I posted on here, saying that I wanted to go back(uk from oz) Well the feelings came and went and then back again in waves. What a mess I think i wanted to give it longer to see if was just a phase, but we went back in September for 5 weeks and although the weather was shocking , we had a great time and the kids were spoilt by nanna etc..
When we was back in the uk for the holiday, I sat back and listened to my wife and she did say that she would eventually come back.. but of course i needed to get back to Oz to see if i was just confused myself , i thought when i went back to Oz after 5 weeks holiday in uk , i would start talking about moving back more with my wife, but in fact i found that i didnt speak about it, but i know now the feeling will never go away and i must face up to her and really start to talk about it. Problem is i am not good at expressing my feelings because i am worried about the reaction.
The kids, well the oldest (6yrs old girl) loves it out here, she has a great life, we live in a very friendly cul-de-sac with loads of kids, they all play out all the time. We live in a big house 5 bedrooms with the biggest pool in the street so loads for kids to do, i have a good paid job ($160k +super p/a in Brisbane) etc.... i would be given up all this to start again. Wife has a new small business but its home business and she could do the same in the uk. I read some post on this section of BE and see a few comments about wages and wondered if any of you earned alot whilst abroad would you be thinking the same? I know you cant help but miss things about uk, but I wondered if any of you are in similar situation than me (excellent job, brilliant boss and good wage and very happy young kids?)
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
Anyway Thought I would update everyone. Its been a year since I posted on here, saying that I wanted to go back(uk from oz) Well the feelings came and went and then back again in waves. What a mess I think i wanted to give it longer to see if was just a phase, but we went back in September for 5 weeks and although the weather was shocking , we had a great time and the kids were spoilt by nanna etc..
When we was back in the uk for the holiday, I sat back and listened to my wife and she did say that she would eventually come back.. but of course i needed to get back to Oz to see if i was just confused myself , i thought when i went back to Oz after 5 weeks holiday in uk , i would start talking about moving back more with my wife, but in fact i found that i didnt speak about it, but i know now the feeling will never go away and i must face up to her and really start to talk about it. Problem is i am not good at expressing my feelings because i am worried about the reaction.
The kids, well the oldest (6yrs old girl) loves it out here, she has a great life, we live in a very friendly cul-de-sac with loads of kids, they all play out all the time. We live in a big house 5 bedrooms with the biggest pool in the street so loads for kids to do, i have a good paid job ($160k +super p/a in Brisbane) etc.... i would be given up all this to start again. Wife has a new small business but its home business and she could do the same in the uk. I read some post on this section of BE and see a few comments about wages and wondered if any of you earned alot whilst abroad would you be thinking the same? I know you cant help but miss things about uk, but I wondered if any of you are in similar situation than me (excellent job, brilliant boss and good wage and very happy young kids?)
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
#24
Re: I think I want to go back.
Its been on the cards for a while, I keep having these really horrible sinking feelings for sometime that I belong back in England. Im a guy and I hope I am not alone with these feelings. we have been here (Australia) for 3.5years I have a great job etc and the wife is very settled.
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
You might also find that you ultimately don't want to return once you've done your 'reccy'? It seems like the fair thing to do at this stage?
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: My happy place
Posts: 3,043
Re: I think I want to go back.
Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
#26
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 12,830
Re: I think I want to go back.
Its been on the cards for a while, I keep having these really horrible sinking feelings for sometime that I belong back in England. Im a guy and I hope I am not alone with these feelings. we have been here (Australia) for 3.5years I have a great job etc and the wife is very settled.
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
Last edited by Aviator; Jan 9th 2009 at 7:13 am.
#27
Re: I think I want to go back.
Its been on the cards for a while, I keep having these really horrible sinking feelings for sometime that I belong back in England. Im a guy and I hope I am not alone with these feelings. we have been here (Australia) for 3.5years I have a great job etc and the wife is very settled.
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
Last week I had to tell the wife that I have been getting these feelings and it didnt go down too well, she said she is not moving. There is also some guilt in this, why should I ruin it for her, she's happy in Australia and never talks about England. We also have 2 young children which makes it worse. I couldnt leave them so that is most definetly out of the question and I dont want to take sanity trips back and forth. Is there any other men out there having the same problem?
I have to say i would of been horrified if my wife had turned round and said she'd wanted to return home after a 3 years. I spent first 6 months having dreams every night i was back stuck on the tube, nearest thing to a nightmare!
Last edited by Londonuck; Jan 9th 2009 at 7:42 am.
#28
Re: I think I want to go back.
The kids, well the oldest (6yrs old girl) loves it out here, she has a great life, we live in a very friendly cul-de-sac with loads of kids, they all play out all the time. We live in a big house 5 bedrooms with the biggest pool in the street so loads for kids to do, i have a good paid job ($160k +super p/a in Brisbane) etc.... i would be given up all this to start again. Wife has a new small business but its home business and she could do the same in the uk. I read some post on this section of BE and see a few comments about wages and wondered if any of you earned alot whilst abroad would you be thinking the same? I know you cant help but miss things about uk, but I wondered if any of you are in similar situation than me (excellent job, brilliant boss and good wage and very happy young kids?)
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
Anyway tonight im going to talk to her again and see what her feelings are now , and I will post the results next week..
If family and children are happy, and things are going well in other ways, is it going to be worth it trying something else? Only you can decide.