Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Moving back or to the UK
Reload this Page >

I have to leave this place

I have to leave this place

Old Jul 18th 2007, 2:00 am
  #61  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 936
Exile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond reputeExile has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by ShozInOz
... Buddhism is about how you live your life, not what you believe. This is how I see it.
Very interesting discussion. Definitely agree with this. I think it should be true of all religions.
Exile is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2007, 7:45 am
  #62  
Jedi Princess
 
kiwi_child's Avatar
 
Joined: Jun 2006
Location: Melbourne,Australia
Posts: 2,089
kiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond reputekiwi_child has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Exile
Interesting comment. I'm quite interested in Buddhism also, but one of the problems I have with monastic Buddhism is just as you described: freedom from desire and attachment seems to involve eliminating much of what I see as meaningful things in life. Yes, it's Just like living in suburban Perth!

The Japanese seem to have found away around this through various forms of hedonistic versions, Buddhism for capitalists, etc.
I think some desire and attachment is a natural part of being a human being, while other desire and attachment is 'brainwashed' into us by ideologies, most notably capitalism and religion.

If the goal of a Bhuddist is to not desire, then is not that very goal a desire in itself? They say desire leads to suffering, yet desire can also inspire greatness in individuals. Perhaps suffering in this respect is more to do with unfufilled desires or desiring the non-authentic. Maslow's hierarchy of needs has it's place in explaining who we are to some point IMO.

Last edited by kiwi_child; Jul 18th 2007 at 7:52 am.
kiwi_child is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2007, 7:47 am
  #63  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 866
The_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I have to leave this place

I'm heading out to Perth with my Australian wife in January and it's this type of thing that terrifies me.

I love the feel of the UK.

It's green countryside, little villages, small sandy coves (ah I will miss Cornwall!), the history etc. Plus, I'm not particularly good with heat.

All of these things I've explained to the wife, but its only fair we go as she wants to spend a bit of time closer to her parents. Plus I do know I will regret it if we didn't give it a go.

However, there's always that nagging fear that I'm going to hate it over there.

I feel for you Fat Bloke, I really do.
The_Wookie is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2007, 7:56 am
  #64  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Back home :)
Posts: 1,706
birdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by The_Wookie
I'm heading out to Perth with my Australian wife in January and it's this type of thing that terrifies me.

I love the feel of the UK.

It's green countryside, little villages, small sandy coves (ah I will miss Cornwall!), the history etc. Plus, I'm not particularly good with heat.

All of these things I've explained to the wife, but its only fair we go as she wants to spend a bit of time closer to her parents. Plus I do know I will regret it if we didn't give it a go.

However, there's always that nagging fear that I'm going to hate it over there.

I feel for you Fat Bloke, I really do.

Hi Wookie

Welcome.
I hope you're not migrating full stop. You're post seemed to indicate 'some time' with the in laws for you wife. If its not permanent, as in, shes open to UK stil,l that should hopefullly help you alot, just knowing your wifes open to moving back.
Besteset of luck with it.
If you do get homesick for the greeness, head to tassie - even have a few lovely cove style beaches. Or bits of NZ
Good luck
xxx
birdynumnum is offline  
Old Jul 18th 2007, 9:09 am
  #65  
BE Enthusiast
 
seasprite's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Dorset
Posts: 599
seasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond reputeseasprite has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by The_Wookie
I'm heading out to Perth with my Australian wife in January and it's this type of thing that terrifies me.

I love the feel of the UK.

It's green countryside, little villages, small sandy coves (ah I will miss Cornwall!), the history etc. Plus, I'm not particularly good with heat.

All of these things I've explained to the wife, but its only fair we go as she wants to spend a bit of time closer to her parents. Plus I do know I will regret it if we didn't give it a go.

However, there's always that nagging fear that I'm going to hate it over there.

I feel for you Fat Bloke, I really do.
Arghh you sound like me before I got swept along by it all, and look where I ended up...right back where we started! Hopefully soon anyway.
Please keep a house here.
seasprite is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2007, 8:05 am
  #66  
Banned
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Wilston
Posts: 908
Fat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really niceFat Bloke is just really nice
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
Fat Bloke is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2007, 8:59 am
  #67  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: miles from a pint of milk!
Posts: 863
lollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond reputelollyno1 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
just to wish you luck in your life, hope things sort themselves out for all your sakes..
lollyno1 is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2007, 11:48 am
  #68  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: new zealand
Posts: 76
tillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to alltillergirl is a name known to all
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
Aww Fat Bloke i really feel for you.

I wish i could give you a big hug.

Would it be possible for you all to do a recce. Maybe you could all consider living in the UK for a year or two? Then see how you all feel.

I suggest this because this is what we are about to do. I've become so ill that we are going home for me to have the support i need to get well and also to see if moving home is what we all want.
We will leave our things in storage in NZ until a decision is made.

We are lucky that we can stay with a family member. I don't know if this is possible for you, if not maybe price up some rentals in your local area.

Good luck mate. Where abouts in the UK are you from?
Tillergirl
tillergirl is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2007, 12:52 pm
  #69  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 866
The_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to beholdThe_Wookie is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Fat Bloke, if you came back the UK where would you be living?
The_Wookie is offline  
Old Jul 22nd 2007, 1:02 pm
  #70  
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Back home :)
Posts: 1,706
birdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond reputebirdynumnum has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

FB

Hi
I just wanted to send you loadsa love n hugs & to remind you you are one of many who feel like this - just so you dont feel alone when you feel like pants.
take care
xxxx
T
birdynumnum is offline  
Old Jul 23rd 2007, 6:37 am
  #71  
BE Forum Addict
 
rabsody's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
rabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond reputerabsody has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
Hi Fat Bloke

I hear your pain. It's a horrible, horrible feeling being trapped due to circumstances. I keep trying to get over my mindset by positive thinking, St John's Wort etc, but it gets increasingly difficult to keep focussed on the positive things when every time you read a newspaper, listen to the radio or turn on the TV it reminds you why you don't want to be here. Despite trying to think rationally, your desire to return home turns into an obsession and you begin to hate the place.

I hope you are able to come to some kind of compromise with your wife. If it's any help, you are not alone in feeling the way you do. Sending some hugs and if you need an ear then vent away!!!

Take care

Faye xx
rabsody is offline  
Old Jul 23rd 2007, 11:04 am
  #72  
A rather curious boy
 
busterboy's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 5,917
busterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond reputebusterboy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.

I am sorry to hear this and wish you well.
busterboy is offline  
Old Jul 24th 2007, 9:49 pm
  #73  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: the wrong place
Posts: 892
psb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond reputepsb182 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
I could have wrote most of that myself mate,take care of yourself and I hope things get better
psb182 is offline  
Old Jul 24th 2007, 10:04 pm
  #74  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Spain then Massachusetts USA
Posts: 211
Shivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond reputeShivster has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have to leave this place

So sorry to hear how you're feeling. I know how bad it can get and moving back does become an obsession that takes over every aspect of your life.

What was it about the UK that your wife hated? Is there any way you can do anything to address those fears or concerns?

My husband decided to hate the UK from the outset before he'd even visited there, so I was really on a hiding to nothing.
Shivster is offline  
Old Jul 24th 2007, 10:08 pm
  #75  
Account Closed
 
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 15,019
TruBrit is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: I have to leave this place

Originally Posted by Fat Bloke
Thanks to everyone for the replies on this thread, it does help to read through them and just vent my feelings a little.

I am still here, still going through hell, homesickness is an awful, awful thing it really is, especially when you are so far from home and the costs of travel are so high that you cant justify a family trip when the costs are measured in the tens of thousands. $10K for flights alone....

I have been through some of the darkest days of my life this week, not eating, sleeping or thinking straight, I am an emotional wreck.

The wife is coming around to my way of thinking very slowly and knows how bad I am feeling but she really hated the UK and loves it here, she has her family here too. I want to keep the family together and keep everyone happy which is probably going to be impossible to achieve.

I will keep you posted on our progress.
yes pls keep us updated....it's tough going i know when both in the relationship have different agendas...all the best FB
TruBrit is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.