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I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Old Sep 22nd 2016, 12:24 am
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Default I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Hello,

Long time lurker first time poster. I guess I need some advice really, the title says it all. I have been living in Canada for 17 years, moved with parents when I was 19 from England.

I am now 37, good job, good hours, good pension but I am just not happy in myself and miss England and the culture terribly. I am totally sorted over here for a lack of better terms.

So the plan is is to move back next year and use the 'golden handshake' money from my current job to start again over there. I am just terrified that I will be throwing away everything that I have worked hard for over here and making a massive mistake going back, some days I think it's a good idea other days not so much and the procrastination is driving me up the wall.

If anyone has any insight or advice that would be great.

Thank you.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 12:34 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Plenty of people have done what you are contemplating and will be along with their views. I moved to the US when I was 50, but I had a job to go to.

My greatest worry would be of employment. What field are you in? Have your researched whether your work is in demand in the UK, are companies looking for people such as you? What happens if you don't get a good job in your field?

Also, have you been back to the UK since you moved to Canada? Are you intending to return to your home town, and have you visited it lately?
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 12:52 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by SanDiegogirl View Post
Plenty of people have done what you are contemplating and will be along with their views. I moved to the US when I was 50, but I had a job to go to.

My greatest worry would be of employment. What field are you in? Have your researched whether your work is in demand in the UK, are companies looking for people such as you? What happens if you don't get a good job in your field?

Also, have you been back to the UK since you moved to Canada? Are you intending to return to your home town, and have you visited it lately?
Hello,

Thanks for your reply.

I am currently serving in the military. I have a rough idea of what I want to do over there but nothing lined up. I plan on doing 'any old' work until I get the job I want but there's no guarantees.

I was back over this summer, love the area. I'll be moving to the south coast area near Eastbourne which is where a lot of my family are.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 9:31 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by JokerD View Post
Hello,

Long time lurker first time poster. I guess I need some advice really, the title says it all. I have been living in Canada for 17 years, moved with parents when I was 19 from England.

I am now 37, good job, good hours, good pension but I am just not happy in myself and miss England and the culture terribly. I am totally sorted over here for a lack of better terms.

So the plan is is to move back next year and use the 'golden handshake' money from my current job to start again over there. I am just terrified that I will be throwing away everything that I have worked hard for over here and making a massive mistake going back, some days I think it's a good idea other days not so much and the procrastination is driving me up the wall.

If anyone has any insight or advice that would be great.

Thank you.
Having some doubts is entirely normal, being terrified is perhaps a red flag.

There are a few things that may help you to feel more comfortable about whether to stay or go.

Can you take a career break from your current job? A summer holiday is not going to be much help in deciding whether the UK is where you want to be living long term. If you could stay for a good few months with family you could scope the employment situation as well as get a feel for what it's like to live in the area on a permanent basis.

Research. Have a look your finances. How long could you afford to live in the UK without securing work? Are you planning to buy, rent or stay with family? What's your back up plan if you decide the UK's not for you? Would you have the funds to move back to Canada and set yourself up again? Would your old company in Canada consider taking you back?

Have a look at what you're giving up in Canada, what you KNOW you'll gain by moving back to the UK, and what you HOPE to gain by moving back. Not just in terms of money, but relationships, friendships, feeling happy, at ease, content.

I feel that if you take the time to sit quietly and work your way through all these issues (preferably in writing, this is heavy stuff and you need a record of your musings!) - then your decision will become a little clearer.

You'll never eliminate all doubt and nerves. But by thinking it through properly and thoroughly before you jump, you have the best possible chance of making the decision that's right for you.

Wishing you the best of luck
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 1:23 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

To add to the already good advice posted above, my thoughts as well. As mentioned, employment is the key concern. At 37, there's still quite a ways left in your working career.

I was in the military too for a few years, but at the conclusion of my service there was not much transferable to the civilian world as far as in-demand skills. Getting the job you want requires skills employers want. Going back to school for a degree or certification might be worthwhile, either in Canada or after returning to the UK. Hopefully, your pension and savings can provide financial support during the time it takes to gain that education.

Immigrating to a new country or returning to a previous homeland without a clear plan of what to do or what employment there can be emotionally and financially difficult. Just returning, even with family nearby, is probably not going to be enough to ensure happiness. It'll be leaving a respected, stable profession with good income (I assume) to competing in the unemployed world, which is already difficult for those without skills and resulting in low paying jobs when can be found.

Something to consider and plan before making such a move, I think.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 3:05 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

My concern about JokerD's plan is that he thinks he is going "back" to something. In other words he has fairly specific expectations about life in the UK, when in fact the UK has moved on, and changed quite lot, in many ways, and isn't the country he left.

If he goes back to the UK he should, IMO, treat it as an adventure in a new country, not a return to something comfortable and familiar.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 3:36 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
My concern about JokerD's plan is that he thinks he is going "back" to something. In other words he has fairly specific expectations about life in the UK, when in fact the UK has moved on, and changed quite lot, in many ways, and isn't the country he left.

If he goes back to the UK he should, IMO, treat it as an adventure in a new country, not a return to something comfortable and familiar.
A bit of both. It hasn't changed that much. And in many places the change has been dramatically for the better.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 4:28 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian View Post
It hasn't changed that much. And in many places the change has been dramatically for the better.
Seconded.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 7:58 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Novocastrian View Post
A bit of both. It hasn't changed that much. And in many places the change has been dramatically for the better.
Maybe, but there is also a big difference between being 19 and being 37. I agree with Pulaski.
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Old Sep 22nd 2016, 10:41 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Editha View Post
Maybe, but there is also a big difference between being 19 and being 37. I agree with Pulaski.
Seconded.
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Old Sep 23rd 2016, 12:09 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Pulaski View Post
My concern about JokerD's plan is that he thinks he is going "back" to something. In other words he has fairly specific expectations about life in the UK, when in fact the UK has moved on, and changed quite lot, in many ways, and isn't the country he left.

If he goes back to the UK he should, IMO, treat it as an adventure in a new country, not a return to something comfortable and familiar.
I totally agree Pulaski, when I went back just for two weeks, i was amazed at the level of racism and xenophobia that pervaded the country from the government all the way down to the regular person. It certainly wasn't like that to me in the 90s.
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Old Sep 23rd 2016, 8:46 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Editha View Post
Maybe, but there is also a big difference between being 19 and being 37. I agree with Pulaski.
What has that got to do with where you live?
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Old Sep 23rd 2016, 8:49 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Quite a lot, if you think you are going back to something familiar. Everything looks very different from the perspective of a 37 year old, compared to a 19 year old.
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Old Sep 23rd 2016, 9:24 am
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

Originally Posted by Editha View Post
Quite a lot, if you think you are going back to something familiar. Everything looks very different from the perspective of a 37 year old, compared to a 19 year old.
Are you suggesting that the OP is confusing transatlantic aircraft with time machines?

He'll be 37 in Canada when he leaves and 37 in the UK if he comes back.
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Old Sep 23rd 2016, 5:12 pm
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Default Re: I am moving back next year but am terrified I am making a big mistake.

I left the UK in the late 80's when I was 23. I visited back home many times. I moved back last year after 26 years in the USA, living on both coasts for 13 years each time.

Maybe it's just me, but coming back to the UK was like putting on a pair of familiar and very comfortable PJs. And that has continued and has been consistent for what will be 2 years back in early January. I pined to be back home for years and years but let all the scary bits—thinking about what I'd have to do, how to plan and thinking of what awful things might happen—put me off. But I'm so glad I was determined to see it through.

Oh yeah and I'm 51 just about to turn 52 and guess what. I have a new job of 5 months and my career is on fire. I have the opportunity to train in new areas, enhance my career path and work with a management team who want to see me progress and grow. Rather than always watching my back and being scared for my job every day like I did in the States.

Good luck to you JokerD. Baby steps. Be determined. Plan your work then work your plan. It'll come good if you want it badly enough.
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