sueduffy

Hi Guys,for those who are back home i am just wandering how well your kids adapted to returning back home particularly if they were reluctant to return to the UK.

We have been here in Adelaidefor nearly 3 yrs and due to a number of issues are pretty much committed to returning home to Manchester in the next few months.

The problem is our daughter loves here life here and is going through the i will never forgive you,i hate the Uk etc etc.

The additional concerns for me are that she will have missed the first two yrs of high school and i think she is going to struggle.She has been having difficulties with concentration at school here in recent months which we have found out recently is attributable to thyroid problems and diabetes.

My major concern as a guilty mum is what if all the stress causes her even more health probs.Just to make it more complicated both my parents are due to have surgical operations within weeks of our arrival and the last thing they need is a stroppy teenager.Hubby will be staying here to sell the house so i wont be able to afford a rental until the house sells in Oz,so have no choice but to stay with them.

Any advice gratefully recd as the guilt is getting to me at minute.She went home to Manchester for 6 weeks at christmas and could not wait to come back here,so i know i am facing an uphill battle.


Thanks Sue

Jay Bird

A difficult situation for you Sue. How old is your daughter? Have you considered the possibilty of letting her stay with her Dad, seeing as he's staying on to sell the house?

Renie

I would be interested in the replies to this one, I have a 14 year old son, although not stroppy quite the opposite, has gone very quiet, doesn't speak much to me and when asked says he sill get over it, or whatever or that he will come back in a few years time anyway. How have other people managed.


We have also been in Oz three years.

Certainly have messed things up for sure for him.

tillysmum

My heart goes out to you both stroppy teenagers eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww to coin a well used phrase in our house.

Missing first 2 years high school is not too bad she will still have year 10 to settle and find her feet before GCSE's start.

I am returning with a sometimes stroppy hormonal teenager 15+ but she is essentially looking forward to it as she gets her horse back.

After much arguing with school she will be going back into yr 11 at her old school, they initially wanted her to go back a year into yr10 as GCSE's are modular now. However education dept are on our side and say no thats its not appropriate for her to go back a year and the idea I put forward is reasonable ie. she concentrates ondoing 5 GCSE's in one year and spend her free lessons either at home or library studying. This is our daughters first choice too which is good and she is quite motivated and knows that it will be hard.

Good Luck

sueduffy

My daughter is 13 going on 30.

She would to stay with her dad whilst the house sells,but sadly with his work commitments,isnt practical.

In addition spoke to Admissions dept at local council last night and there are currently only two school places available at one of my preferred schools ,the others have no places whatsoever available,so i am panicking about getting her a place.

Does anyone know if it is possible for them to go back a yr that might be better for her than all the added presure of trying to catch up two yrs missed school.

Sue

tillysmum

My local education dept said they are reluctant to let children go back a year and prefer to keep children with their peers. An option might be for her to go in lower sets to help or have some extra help at school or private tutor if thats an option financially. But your education dept may have different preferences, why dont you give the school of your choice a ring and have a chat with them. Have a look at www.bbc.co.uk/schools and look for the bitesize section will give you an idea of what level she will be at/cope with. Think she will be looking at key stage 3 but could be wrong.

MrsB

Happy mummy - happy family! That's what I keep telling myself!!

Point out the positives of the UK.

Pugsy

You have to fire up the propaganda machine! Spin, spin, spin so that she goes with something to look forward to. She'll settle in anyway, but you've gotta get her feeling positive so that she can get over the initial homesickness/starting new school, all the difficult stuff.

What can she do/have/experience that she can't in Australia? What can she do/have/experience that she has in Australia and doesn't want to give up? Find comparables. Does she have a hobby? Or a dream she's never pursued?

At that age, I'd be talking about all the fab weekends away we'd have, family get togethers. Trips to London for shows. Exploring Europe. Disney/Universal for holidays. Culture, good TV! Plus, with a deep tan and an Ozzie-ish accent she'll be well popular in school!

Get that school place organised first before you really start bombarding her! Good luck.

Pugsy

Also, get on Amazon and order the secondary school papers for her year, also above and below and work through them. It's great revision and it will enable you to see what level she's at compared to her future peers.

Renie

Good advice there that I shall use to the best of my ability. Thanks

the elders

Hi all, Just thought I would add my 2c worth, we arrived back 3.5 months ago with 2 boys aged 9 and 16 in tow. The 9 year old is very grateful to be back and is loving it. The 16 year old is not. We had a battle to get him put into year 11 with his mates, eventually school agreed to let him do 5 GCSE's, he caught up all the coursework after doing many hours during free lessons, after school and at home too, he has 1 exam left to write and then hopefully moves on successfully to college.
His friends have been very welcoming, but my son says he doesn't fit in anymore, we were away for a year. He has varied interests including the typical teenage ones and has settled down, but I am sure would move on just as easily too. He knows his visa runs out in 2012, when he is 20 , so will wait and see what his decision is.
The kids are very different here, and the weather is a big deal, anyway will wait and see.......

Kath & Graham

We are just becoming to run into difficulties with our ten year old Since we were away for nearly three years she came back all was ok, but now we are finding there is lot hell of a lot shes gotta catch up with and on top of this the 11 plus exam in October. Her main thing at the moment is maths and ooh dear are we having difficulty!!! We might have to give her extra tuition (which she admant she deosnt want) but all of a sudden its just hit us how different the schools are . This is our opinion and might not affect others. She is happy though and likes being with her mates and our 6 year old is thriving

It would have been really hard for us to have brought our eldest back, (she was 17 when we left) I think she would have had a hell of a time getting either further education here in UK or work, as its a real struggle workwise at mo for that age group

Pugsy

We're in private education in Spain and there is always the possibility of us going back to the UK and kids know that and are happy either way. The maths program for primary here is pants, so we have the children do their bond papers twice a week, just to keep up with their peers in the UK. To be honest it not only gives me peace of mind, but also the children enjoy being ahead of their class here. Secondary is a worry though, will need to make a firm decision before then, I think.

Bevm

That's a tricky age, and you say she's having health problems. That could indicate she's stressed anyway. Does she have good friends and lots of interests? If yes, then it's understandable that she doesn't want to leave them. But if no, she might be thinking things can only get worse.

How did she feel about the move to Australia? Did she seem happy in England? Can you remind her how it was back then? They forget at that age.

Did she have some good friends? If she's lost contact, perhaps she could start contacting them again with e-mail, on line chat, or even Skype phone calls.

Just some ideas. When kids are involved, everything gets more complicated, don't they?

Bev

sueduffy

Bev,she had lots of friends in England and has always been a very socialable child,but here in Oz she loves school and has lots of friends and so much more freedom than she could ever have in Manchester.

When we went back at Christmas her best friend there was great,but her other friends were apathetic to say the least,so she feels like she is leaving a great group of friends here and going back to maybe one friend.

In addition she has just been diagnosed with a thyroid problem and needs to go on meds,so that is going to have an effect on her until the dosage is right.In addition to coping with new school,leaving a life she doesnt want to leave.It is heartbreaking as a mum.I keep worrying what if all the stress caused her to be much more ill than she is already.

Due to finances i need to get a full time job when we return and wont have as much time as i used to have.Before i left i worked part time and had a very accomodating boss but i will not be in that position any more.

For us Australia has been anything but the dream.

Sue