How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
#16
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Aw I feel your pain and I do hope you get an offer on your house, so many of us came to a new country for a better life and really have struggle in many ways, i have about 60 bucks in my bank account .....but I know I see light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck and prayers for speedy return to the UK.
#17
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Trevski
I really understand what you are going through it is awful and sometimes it seems like there is no end in sight. All I can tell you is take one day at a time. I think sending your wife back with your youngest child might be the best idea. Then you can keep the house going and keep on top of the realestate people. It would be very hard to do it from the UK. Your house is new so it doesnt need much doing to it apart from keeping it clean and as they say 'staged'. I wish you all the best.
I really understand what you are going through it is awful and sometimes it seems like there is no end in sight. All I can tell you is take one day at a time. I think sending your wife back with your youngest child might be the best idea. Then you can keep the house going and keep on top of the realestate people. It would be very hard to do it from the UK. Your house is new so it doesnt need much doing to it apart from keeping it clean and as they say 'staged'. I wish you all the best.
#18
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Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
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Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Thankyou for all your comments it does make me feel as one day it will come together , i just hope that we can get it sorted before the wifes dad goes to ill and we dont make it in time.
It just feels so difficult when you get the real estate ring and say they have a buyer that wants to view the house and your hopes rise and then they view the house and you think that you might get a offer but you dont, then you feel as thou your house is no good but i know its good.
I just keep thinking what it will feel like when we do get a sale and the wife can go to the uk, then its a new chapter for our family
It just feels so difficult when you get the real estate ring and say they have a buyer that wants to view the house and your hopes rise and then they view the house and you think that you might get a offer but you dont, then you feel as thou your house is no good but i know its good.
I just keep thinking what it will feel like when we do get a sale and the wife can go to the uk, then its a new chapter for our family
#19
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Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Pimpama, Gold Coast
Posts: 196
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
I think alot of people are finding it hard at the moment the cost of living here is terrible. We have been here for 4 years and I haven t settled at all my husband on the other hand loves it here but saying that he works 8 weeks away in UK waters and 8 weeks here, with my 12 year old son and myself. We struggle all the time as he gets paid in pounds and the way the pound is his wage is very poor even compared to Aussie standards. He has tried to get a job over here to no avail but can find plenty of work with excellent money back in the UK if we went back.
My husbands argument is my son would suffer in school he'd get bullied for his accent and he'd be behind in class as he struggles with Maths.
We ve looked at renting out and even had the agent round but rent would not cover mortgage and extras so would have to add each month which i think would be easier if on better money. Why is it always so hard My head is battered with thinking what to do for the best and like your thread my husbands parents are well against us coming back saying its a dead end place no prospects so not easy at all
My husbands argument is my son would suffer in school he'd get bullied for his accent and he'd be behind in class as he struggles with Maths.
We ve looked at renting out and even had the agent round but rent would not cover mortgage and extras so would have to add each month which i think would be easier if on better money. Why is it always so hard My head is battered with thinking what to do for the best and like your thread my husbands parents are well against us coming back saying its a dead end place no prospects so not easy at all
#20
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
I think alot of people are finding it hard at the moment the cost of living here is terrible. We have been here for 4 years and I haven t settled at all my husband on the other hand loves it here but saying that he works 8 weeks away in UK waters and 8 weeks here, with my 12 year old son and myself. We struggle all the time as he gets paid in pounds and the way the pound is his wage is very poor even compared to Aussie standards. He has tried to get a job over here to no avail but can find plenty of work with excellent money back in the UK if we went back.
My husbands argument is my son would suffer in school he'd get bullied for his accent and he'd be behind in class as he struggles with Maths.
We ve looked at renting out and even had the agent round but rent would not cover mortgage and extras so would have to add each month which i think would be easier if on better money. Why is it always so hard My head is battered with thinking what to do for the best and like your thread my husbands parents are well against us coming back saying its a dead end place no prospects so not easy at all
My husbands argument is my son would suffer in school he'd get bullied for his accent and he'd be behind in class as he struggles with Maths.
We ve looked at renting out and even had the agent round but rent would not cover mortgage and extras so would have to add each month which i think would be easier if on better money. Why is it always so hard My head is battered with thinking what to do for the best and like your thread my husbands parents are well against us coming back saying its a dead end place no prospects so not easy at all
Many families have moved back with kids with Aussie acccents if you search on here you'll find threads about moving school age kids and so far I haven't heard anything bad. You Dh too is making excuses.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...chool+age+kids
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...chool+age+kids
Last edited by Mummy in the foothills; Sep 4th 2011 at 3:13 pm.
#21
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Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
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Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Hi everyone, i dont want to count my chickens before they hatch but we have got a contract on our house that is unconditional now, we are keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes ok as they have finance from the bank and they have had building and pest inspections.
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
#22
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Pimpama, Gold Coast
Posts: 196
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Hi everyone, i dont want to count my chickens before they hatch but we have got a contract on our house that is unconditional now, we are keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes ok as they have finance from the bank and they have had building and pest inspections.
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
Thanks for those links (Mummy in the Foothills),I'll have a look now and I agree about the in laws there not happy until they are running our lives x
#23
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Hi everyone, i dont want to count my chickens before they hatch but we have got a contract on our house that is unconditional now, we are keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes ok as they have finance from the bank and they have had building and pest inspections.
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
I am feeling sick at the moment as we are packing and making plans on the return to the UK, we have planned to fly my wife and our 11yr old son back to the uk on 6/10/2011 so they arrive on the 7 october, the reason we chose these dates are the house completes 30/9/2011 and my wifes dad its his birthday on the 8/10/2011 and she and my son are just going to turn up at their door on his birthday without telling them that they are back in the uk, the reason i feel sick is that it feels as thou its happening and we can move on but its not all done until we have the money in the bank so you always have that sinking feeling that it could still go wrong.
Me and my eldest daughter will follow on as soon as i have sold my 2007 rodeo ute and her kia rio 2008 so i hope that does not take long as i want to be in uk with them.
Does any one know any one that wants a cheap kia rio 2008 in metallic red 1.4lx and a hoden rodeo tray back in white three seater done 79k. please pm me i will be very grateful
Thankyou for all the kind support , i will give a update as things progress
You might want to let the people on the Aussie board know about the cars.
#24
Living our life wherever
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Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
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#25
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Is there a classified here?
If you go by the Aussie section and mention you have sold the house and are all moving and innocently ask wheres best to sell the cars, and say what they are and how much someone on there may want one.
If you go by the Aussie section and mention you have sold the house and are all moving and innocently ask wheres best to sell the cars, and say what they are and how much someone on there may want one.
#26
Just Joined
Joined: May 2010
Location: south west Ireland (ex Lancs)
Posts: 18
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
I really hope everything goes smoothly for you Trevski. Good luck with the move
#27
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 157
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Hi Trevski, many of us know exactly what you are going through, me included.
My dad unexpectedly passed away last February back in the UK. I only had a chance to visit home about 4 times in 8 years. 3 of those times were for my dads health reasons. The last time was for his funeral. All whilst moving to AZ from NJ and then 7 years later back to NJ from AZ. (Ironically, to be closer to the UK, so it would be easier/cheaper to visit home) Kids not adjusting to life and school in NJ this past year. Living with the in-laws (rovers return has all the details), me having the worst homesickness ever, hubby not having a job and then my dad passes away.
I visited home Sept 2010 as he had his 4th valve surgery, (previous 3 open heart surgeries were 4 years earlier, and I had to visit then also) it was very touch and go as he had a bad abscess in his heart valve which travelled to his brain, so I had to go back for a month. We just went back and forth from hospital for these last 3 visits home. It was awful as we had just travelled cross-country from AZ to NJ the month before. Finally managed to short sale our home in AZ. Three kids starting new schools, plus a 3 year old, sister was in labor whilst dad was in hospital, on opposites sides of London..so we were all over the place and the emotions were sky high...but he got through miraculously for 6 more months til we got that dreaded phone call last feb and I had to get on the plane that very night. The last 3 visits back have been roller coasters in themselves, terrible depression, regrets, homesickness, isolation.The distance has been unbearable, finances and emotions stretched to the limit.
It is geat your wife is going ahead of you. And it is so nice that you are putting your wife's needs ahead of your own, actually moving back completely to be closer to loved ones is a wonderful reason.
All I would like right now is to take my family back to UK and spend precious time with my mum, sister, brother, grandad, nieces/nephews and all my cousins and friends, instead of being here in the US where I feel so unsettled, have no real friends (except a couple of expats I have fortunately met) and am just existing in a place that I cannot see as my home.
Good luck...hope all will be well for all your family
My dad unexpectedly passed away last February back in the UK. I only had a chance to visit home about 4 times in 8 years. 3 of those times were for my dads health reasons. The last time was for his funeral. All whilst moving to AZ from NJ and then 7 years later back to NJ from AZ. (Ironically, to be closer to the UK, so it would be easier/cheaper to visit home) Kids not adjusting to life and school in NJ this past year. Living with the in-laws (rovers return has all the details), me having the worst homesickness ever, hubby not having a job and then my dad passes away.
I visited home Sept 2010 as he had his 4th valve surgery, (previous 3 open heart surgeries were 4 years earlier, and I had to visit then also) it was very touch and go as he had a bad abscess in his heart valve which travelled to his brain, so I had to go back for a month. We just went back and forth from hospital for these last 3 visits home. It was awful as we had just travelled cross-country from AZ to NJ the month before. Finally managed to short sale our home in AZ. Three kids starting new schools, plus a 3 year old, sister was in labor whilst dad was in hospital, on opposites sides of London..so we were all over the place and the emotions were sky high...but he got through miraculously for 6 more months til we got that dreaded phone call last feb and I had to get on the plane that very night. The last 3 visits back have been roller coasters in themselves, terrible depression, regrets, homesickness, isolation.The distance has been unbearable, finances and emotions stretched to the limit.
It is geat your wife is going ahead of you. And it is so nice that you are putting your wife's needs ahead of your own, actually moving back completely to be closer to loved ones is a wonderful reason.
All I would like right now is to take my family back to UK and spend precious time with my mum, sister, brother, grandad, nieces/nephews and all my cousins and friends, instead of being here in the US where I feel so unsettled, have no real friends (except a couple of expats I have fortunately met) and am just existing in a place that I cannot see as my home.
Good luck...hope all will be well for all your family
Last edited by usoruk; Sep 9th 2011 at 9:22 pm.
#28
Living our life wherever
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
Posts: 361
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
Hi Trevski, many of us know exactly what you are going through, me included.
My dad unexpectedly passed away last February back in the UK. I only had a chance to visit home about 4 times in 8 years. 3 of those times were for my dads health reasons. The last time was for his funeral. All whilst moving to AZ from NJ and then 7 years later back to NJ from AZ. (Ironically, to be closer to the UK, so it would be easier/cheaper to visit home) Kids not adjusting to life and school in NJ this past year. Living with the in-laws (rovers return has all the details), me having the worst homesickness ever, hubby not having a job and then my dad passes away.
I visited home Sept 2010 as he had his 4th valve surgery, (previous 3 open heart surgeries were 4 years earlier, and I had to visit then also) it was very touch and go as he had a bad abscess in his heart valve which travelled to his brain, so I had to go back for a month. We just went back and forth from hospital for these last 3 visits home. It was awful as we had just travelled cross-country from AZ to NJ the month before. Finally managed to short sale our home in AZ. Three kids starting new schools, plus a 3 year old, sister was in labor whilst dad was in hospital, on opposites sides of London..so we were all over the place and the emotions were sky high...but he got through miraculously for 6 more months til we got that dreaded phone call last feb and I had to get on the plane that very night. The last 3 visits back have been roller coasters in themselves, terrible depression, regrets, homesickness, isolation.The distance has been unbearable, finances and emotions stretched to the limit.
It is geat your wife is going ahead of you. And it is so nice that you are putting your wife's needs ahead of your own, actually moving back completely to be closer to loved ones is a wonderful reason.
All I would like right now is to take my family back to UK and spend precious time with my mum, sister, brother, grandad, nieces/nephews and all my cousins and friends, instead of being here in the US where I feel so unsettled, have no real friends (except a couple of expats I have fortunately met) and am just existing in a place that I cannot see as my home.
Good luck...hope all will be well for all your family
My dad unexpectedly passed away last February back in the UK. I only had a chance to visit home about 4 times in 8 years. 3 of those times were for my dads health reasons. The last time was for his funeral. All whilst moving to AZ from NJ and then 7 years later back to NJ from AZ. (Ironically, to be closer to the UK, so it would be easier/cheaper to visit home) Kids not adjusting to life and school in NJ this past year. Living with the in-laws (rovers return has all the details), me having the worst homesickness ever, hubby not having a job and then my dad passes away.
I visited home Sept 2010 as he had his 4th valve surgery, (previous 3 open heart surgeries were 4 years earlier, and I had to visit then also) it was very touch and go as he had a bad abscess in his heart valve which travelled to his brain, so I had to go back for a month. We just went back and forth from hospital for these last 3 visits home. It was awful as we had just travelled cross-country from AZ to NJ the month before. Finally managed to short sale our home in AZ. Three kids starting new schools, plus a 3 year old, sister was in labor whilst dad was in hospital, on opposites sides of London..so we were all over the place and the emotions were sky high...but he got through miraculously for 6 more months til we got that dreaded phone call last feb and I had to get on the plane that very night. The last 3 visits back have been roller coasters in themselves, terrible depression, regrets, homesickness, isolation.The distance has been unbearable, finances and emotions stretched to the limit.
It is geat your wife is going ahead of you. And it is so nice that you are putting your wife's needs ahead of your own, actually moving back completely to be closer to loved ones is a wonderful reason.
All I would like right now is to take my family back to UK and spend precious time with my mum, sister, brother, grandad, nieces/nephews and all my cousins and friends, instead of being here in the US where I feel so unsettled, have no real friends (except a couple of expats I have fortunately met) and am just existing in a place that I cannot see as my home.
Good luck...hope all will be well for all your family
Both my self and the wife belive that we only have one set of parents and as you have found out that if you dont close that chapter the correct way it haunts you for the rest of your life.
We hope by going back to the uk my wife/family get to enjoy both our parents and brothers/sister etc again.If it was not for our parents being alive on the other side of the world we would make a go of it here in oz but im afraid that the family pull is stronger than you think.
We also hope that our son 11 gets on better at school in uk than here as he still struggles here in oz even after 6 years, he talks about his grumps being ill and says that he cant remember much about his life in the uk up until he was 5ish, so we hope that him being back can make him happy again so he can move on aswell.
Ive just got to tell me parents that we are coming back as my dad believes thats it all good here in oz and coming back to uk is not the best thing but i have got one thing to say to him that sums it all up
"Financially we are better of in oz but emotionally we are better of in UK" and if you are working earning money in oz it does not mean anything if your hearts not in it.
When we came to oz i never thought we would be moving back but its the correct thing for us as a family to do at this time in our lives, the world has changed so much from when i was a kid, you made as much effort to have material things around you but it does not mean anything when your family has gone.
You only live once so do what the heart says and the body and soul will follow
#29
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
If you go to the bar at the top there is a classifieds section - create an advert in there and you can then get a link that appears on all your posts (past and present) - so every time you post on a current thread people can see it
#30
Living our life wherever
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: came back to oz after moving back to uk but not settled here so uk here i come, last time im moving
Posts: 361
Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?
thxs