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How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Old Jun 24th 2011, 11:46 pm
  #1  
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Default How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life.
We have had our house on the market now for three months in Mango Hill, Brisbane, it was valued at $449,000 so it went on the market,it has only just finished being built, we felt as it would sell with the felling we got from the real estate,how wrong we were .

We need to go back to UK because my wifes dad is not very well, he has a major operation to place stint in his archeries into is heart but they have failed and he is not very well.

My two kids are not coping well with the situation and my wife is trying to put a brave face on it all, when we had told my wifes mum that we were coming back she was very happy and understanding but as the house has not sold we have told her that we have had to put going back to UK until house is sold, well this made a very difficult phone call and the news was taken very bad and it upset my wife a lot with the cold shoulder that she got from her mum.

We accepted an offer on the house ($410,000) a couple of weeks ago and thought that we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and we felt good,we can now do what we feel as we need to do, but yesterday we had that phone call from the real estate agent saying that the buyers cant get finance as the banks are being harder on every one and he had been refused from the loan because he had not paid a mobile phone bill from a couple of years ago.

Im sure that a lot of other people have been through the same situation but i fell so mixed and lost as to what way our lives will be going, it is so hard to feel this way when you belive you should be some where else than where we are now.

How do people cope with this roller coaster of emotions, i suppose its what i am doing now with putting my feelings down on a pc screen to listen to others that have managed to get through it.
I wish that i could find my crystal ball so i can see what happens, that might make us fell better.
O well keep my fingers crossed we have had a couple saying they want to view house tonight (Saturday) for a second timeit turns out good,

Im not saying Australia is all that bad its just we feel as moving back to uk is wright for us at the present time with my wifes parents situation and the cost of living in Aus.

Even if the house does sell i have not told my parents that we will be coming back,my dad thinks its all a bed of roses here in oz and the uk is not the place to be right now, but i belive i will be happy to spend some time back in uk with my family, its going to be hard telling my parents that we are coming back to uk, im sure he will say that we are better off in oz but i dont fell that way.

any way i will stop rambling on and see what happens tonight
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Old Jun 25th 2011, 12:16 am
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Default Re: Emotions

Good luck on the viewing tonight
I went back with our son ahead of my Dh, he stayed on and sold the house, it ended up taking 6 months, in that time I stayed with my parents for a little while, got back to work and rented a house ready for when my husband arrived. Maybe you could think of doing something like that if the sale does start to go though.
Of course we ping ponged back again so are waiting to do it all again when Ds graduated high school.
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Old Jun 25th 2011, 1:30 am
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Default Re: Emotions

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills View Post
Good luck on the viewing tonight
I went back with our son ahead of my Dh, he stayed on and sold the house, it ended up taking 6 months, in that time I stayed with my parents for a little while, got back to work and rented a house ready for when my husband arrived. Maybe you could think of doing something like that if the sale does start to go though.
Of course we ping ponged back again so are waiting to do it all again when Ds graduated high school.
Hi we have thought of wife and youngest boy (11) going back to uk so the wife can get him in school for september and then wife can get a job, she has just got her cert4 in aged and disability care through RPL as she has been doing the job for years so she should be good for a job in UK, i was a fire fighter for ten years and have contacted two brigades and should be ok for a job with them but i could do with being in uk for september for the closing date for my application but we will see
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Old Jun 25th 2011, 8:07 am
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Default Re: Emotions

update, the people came around this arvo and like the house but they told our real estate chap that they cant borrow the $410,000 we agreed and said all they can offer and borrow is $385,000 so it looks as thou we will have more crap days to come on selling a home, i wish they had told us that before we left the house for a hour that they cant get the money, we could of saved us the time and also the wasted trip the buyers had
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Old Jun 25th 2011, 6:59 pm
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Default Re: Emotions

Originally Posted by Trevski View Post
update, the people came around this arvo and like the house but they told our real estate chap that they cant borrow the $410,000 we agreed and said all they can offer and borrow is $385,000 so it looks as thou we will have more crap days to come on selling a home, i wish they had told us that before we left the house for a hour that they cant get the money, we could of saved us the time and also the wasted trip the buyers had
Hi T. we were in the same situation...it's everthing...fustrating...stressful...hurtful....lo l....we did sell our wonderful (I loved our home..lol) 2 year old home for a lot less (the market just fell apart) then we wanted and expected for the total finish on the home...but after nearly a year on the makret (on and off) we just needed to get on with plans...we did think of renting it out but even our agent said it was just "to nice a home for a rental" he did give great advice and told us to wait out the market....and adviced us to even try taking it off the market for a few weeks and to put on with another agent as it would be marketed "fresh"...we did and we got an offer on the first home open...it was priced at the current market price (sob) but a couple from Malaysia brought it..."cash"....we then could get on with our plans....there was time when we thought "oh to hell with it and stay in Aus" but we knew it would just be an excuse. If you really want to return to the UK you really have to be doing it for you and your immediate family, have a good talk with your OH, make sure as you can be it's what you both want then see how much you could sell your house for without you loosing to much money etc....remember house prices have dropped in most parts of the UK as well....a local agents said never mind what we are reading in the Press they are saying another 10% of prices here this year with a slow recovery starting next year....fingers crossed if it's what you all want then a buyer will be walking through the door soon. Good luck....chin up....
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 6:57 am
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Default Re: Emotions

Originally Posted by Trevski View Post
update, the people came around this arvo and like the house but they told our real estate chap that they cant borrow the $410,000 we agreed and said all they can offer and borrow is $385,000 so it looks as thou we will have more crap days to come on selling a home, i wish they had told us that before we left the house for a hour that they cant get the money, we could of saved us the time and also the wasted trip the buyers had
The real estate agents are also totally talking the market down ( once they have your listing ) to get sales.

There is a house in our road on the market, the owners were told 800 by one agent and 600 by another then one said reduce it to 460 once they had listed.
All the focus at the moment is on getting the vendor to accept less.

Selling a house is never easy, nor nice. But dont let the agents grind you down.
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 12:23 pm
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Default Re: Emotions

Originally Posted by jad n rich View Post
The real estate agents are also totally talking the market down ( once they have your listing ) to get sales.

There is a house in our road on the market, the owners were told 800 by one agent and 600 by another then one said reduce it to 460 once they had listed.
All the focus at the moment is on getting the vendor to accept less.
Isn't that just the reality though? There are two houses for sale on my street and they are clearly over-priced for the market. I know the vendors have been told that, but they won't accept the facts and so there the houses sit. For a year now! Meantime, prices have fallen another 7% over that year.
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 4:29 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Originally Posted by Trevski View Post
How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life.
We have had our house on the market now for three months in Mango Hill, Brisbane, it was valued at $449,000 so it went on the market,it has only just finished being built, we felt as it would sell with the felling we got from the real estate,how wrong we were .

We need to go back to UK because my wifes dad is not very well, he has a major operation to place stint in his archeries into is heart but they have failed and he is not very well.

My two kids are not coping well with the situation and my wife is trying to put a brave face on it all, when we had told my wifes mum that we were coming back she was very happy and understanding but as the house has not sold we have told her that we have had to put going back to UK until house is sold, well this made a very difficult phone call and the news was taken very bad and it upset my wife a lot with the cold shoulder that she got from her mum.

We accepted an offer on the house ($410,000) a couple of weeks ago and thought that we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and we felt good,we can now do what we feel as we need to do, but yesterday we had that phone call from the real estate agent saying that the buyers cant get finance as the banks are being harder on every one and he had been refused from the loan because he had not paid a mobile phone bill from a couple of years ago.

Im sure that a lot of other people have been through the same situation but i fell so mixed and lost as to what way our lives will be going, it is so hard to feel this way when you belive you should be some where else than where we are now.

How do people cope with this roller coaster of emotions, i suppose its what i am doing now with putting my feelings down on a pc screen to listen to others that have managed to get through it.
I wish that i could find my crystal ball so i can see what happens, that might make us fell better.
O well keep my fingers crossed we have had a couple saying they want to view house tonight (Saturday) for a second timeit turns out good,

Im not saying Australia is all that bad its just we feel as moving back to uk is wright for us at the present time with my wifes parents situation and the cost of living in Aus.

Even if the house does sell i have not told my parents that we will be coming back,my dad thinks its all a bed of roses here in oz and the uk is not the place to be right now, but i belive i will be happy to spend some time back in uk with my family, its going to be hard telling my parents that we are coming back to uk, im sure he will say that we are better off in oz but i dont fell that way.

any way i will stop rambling on and see what happens tonight
If it was me the first thing I would do is put your wife on a plane.

then my 2c = seriously consider renting- it sounds as if everyone is aware of your situation, therefore you are stripped of your ability to negotiate a fair price. The agents will compromise you.
We rented for 4 years to one tenant and sold in 3 days when we were ready. Just get a good agent to manage the property.
Rentals are the way to go if people can't afford to buy and as the economy starts to dip (didn't realize it was bad in Qland?).
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 6:44 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Trevski

I am part of the over 50's forum and have had our house up for sale for over 3years. I know how awful things are and not getting any better. It might be different in Australia to the US I dont know. We decided to get our house valued a few weeks ago so we knew exactly how much the banks would lend on it. Did you get an idependant valuation. We have also had people come look at the house who could not afford it we now have the realtor get a bank agreement which states that the people looking at your house are qualified to buy it. Even with that in place some people just want to take advantage of the times and try and get your house for much less that its worth. Just make sure you are asking a reasonable price. You could try rent to buy or just renting it out. Do some research into the housing market in Australia and see if things are going to get better in the near future if not you might want to think about taking a lower price if its within your range. Look in your neighbourhood and see what houses are selling for.
It is the most frustrating and soul destroying thing selling a home in these times. I wish you the best but 3 months is not alot of time. Our house was re-valued by the town this past Spring and the price dropped from $469,000 to $350,000. If we had have foreseen that we would have taken one of the lower prices offered a few years ago and still come on on top.

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Old Jun 27th 2011, 7:51 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

One word : Beer , lashings of the stuff.
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Old Jun 27th 2011, 11:04 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Originally Posted by trottytrue View Post
Trevski

I am part of the over 50's forum and have had our house up for sale for over 3years. I know how awful things are and not getting any better. It might be different in Australia to the US I dont know. We decided to get our house valued a few weeks ago so we knew exactly how much the banks would lend on it. Did you get an idependant valuation. We have also had people come look at the house who could not afford it we now have the realtor get a bank agreement which states that the people looking at your house are qualified to buy it. Even with that in place some people just want to take advantage of the times and try and get your house for much less that its worth. Just make sure you are asking a reasonable price. You could try rent to buy or just renting it out. Do some research into the housing market in Australia and see if things are going to get better in the near future if not you might want to think about taking a lower price if its within your range. Look in your neighbourhood and see what houses are selling for.
It is the most frustrating and soul destroying thing selling a home in these times. I wish you the best but 3 months is not alot of time. Our house was re-valued by the town this past Spring and the price dropped from $469,000 to $350,000. If we had have foreseen that we would have taken one of the lower prices offered a few years ago and still come on on top.
Hi
We did look at values on recent sales around us but its not a very old release that we built on, all of the home are newish at most the oldest one is 14months old, next door which is a three bed two living home sold for $423,000 in march this year so we thought we would be ok with our price, but in the last few months the market has slowed to a crawl.
We must have the price about right as we have two couples viewing tonight, but as said before we will ask the real estate agent to ask people to have finances in place or even a offer of finances from the banks before viewing, so at least we know that thats in place.
We have thought of renting the home but it would mean going back to uk with very little savings, and i belive that will put more pressure on us, also here in oz when you are a land lord you have to pay water standing charges, rates, sewage and bin waste charges for the tenant, so you do have to pay out quite a bit.(rates are $300 per 1/4) (water standing charge is $280 per 1/4) (bin charge is $59 per 1/4) and insurance is $1000 per year.
We have talked about the wife and the youngest going back soon and we might take that route, but as said its going to be hard.
Its funny that there are so many people desperate to sell their homes in UK to come and live in Australia and here we are wanting to sell our home in Australia to get back to UK.
Well fingers crossed for tonight that a positive result comes out from it
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Old Jun 28th 2011, 12:58 am
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

send your wife back by herself- she needs to be there- don't wait until its too late....her Mum needs her support.....

think seriously about renting out the house at least to cover the mortgage....


Originally Posted by Trevski View Post
Hi
We did look at values on recent sales around us but its not a very old release that we built on, all of the home are newish at most the oldest one is 14months old, next door which is a three bed two living home sold for $423,000 in march this year so we thought we would be ok with our price, but in the last few months the market has slowed to a crawl.
We must have the price about right as we have two couples viewing tonight, but as said before we will ask the real estate agent to ask people to have finances in place or even a offer of finances from the banks before viewing, so at least we know that thats in place.
We have thought of renting the home but it would mean going back to uk with very little savings, and i belive that will put more pressure on us, also here in oz when you are a land lord you have to pay water standing charges, rates, sewage and bin waste charges for the tenant, so you do have to pay out quite a bit.(rates are $300 per 1/4) (water standing charge is $280 per 1/4) (bin charge is $59 per 1/4) and insurance is $1000 per year.
We have talked about the wife and the youngest going back soon and we might take that route, but as said its going to be hard.
Its funny that there are so many people desperate to sell their homes in UK to come and live in Australia and here we are wanting to sell our home in Australia to get back to UK.
Well fingers crossed for tonight that a positive result comes out from it
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Old Jun 28th 2011, 5:38 am
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Originally Posted by Trevski View Post
How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life.
We have had our house on the market now for three months in Mango Hill, Brisbane, it was valued at $449,000 so it went on the market,it has only just finished being built, we felt as it would sell with the felling we got from the real estate,how wrong we were .

We need to go back to UK because my wifes dad is not very well, he has a major operation to place stint in his archeries into is heart but they have failed and he is not very well.

My two kids are not coping well with the situation and my wife is trying to put a brave face on it all, when we had told my wifes mum that we were coming back she was very happy and understanding but as the house has not sold we have told her that we have had to put going back to UK until house is sold, well this made a very difficult phone call and the news was taken very bad and it upset my wife a lot with the cold shoulder that she got from her mum.

We accepted an offer on the house ($410,000) a couple of weeks ago and thought that we can now see the light at the end of the tunnel and we felt good,we can now do what we feel as we need to do, but yesterday we had that phone call from the real estate agent saying that the buyers cant get finance as the banks are being harder on every one and he had been refused from the loan because he had not paid a mobile phone bill from a couple of years ago.

Im sure that a lot of other people have been through the same situation but i fell so mixed and lost as to what way our lives will be going, it is so hard to feel this way when you belive you should be some where else than where we are now.

How do people cope with this roller coaster of emotions, i suppose its what i am doing now with putting my feelings down on a pc screen to listen to others that have managed to get through it.
I wish that i could find my crystal ball so i can see what happens, that might make us fell better.
O well keep my fingers crossed we have had a couple saying they want to view house tonight (Saturday) for a second timeit turns out good,

Im not saying Australia is all that bad its just we feel as moving back to uk is wright for us at the present time with my wifes parents situation and the cost of living in Aus.

Even if the house does sell i have not told my parents that we will be coming back,my dad thinks its all a bed of roses here in oz and the uk is not the place to be right now, but i belive i will be happy to spend some time back in uk with my family, its going to be hard telling my parents that we are coming back to uk, im sure he will say that we are better off in oz but i dont fell that way.

any way i will stop rambling on and see what happens tonight
I really feel for you & know exactly what you are experiencing, just living in limbo. You know the next stage in your life is not here in Oz. We also cannot move on, until our house sells. We are in Perth & have an offer - depending on finance & had to accept alot lower than we anticipated. We are literally holding our breath until x2 wks today, which is the unconditional date. Got everything crossed.

We also got x2 young children under x5 yrs. The oldest doing only x2 days a week of school, as per the Aussie school system, which is just not enough for him. Without a support network it is hard.

Have come to the conclusion that once we get back, boy will we appreciate it! I doubt we will ever leave again, not even for a holiday ha! ha!

Only thing you can do is day by day & just try to hold on to the positives & do what us Brit's do best, keep the sense of humour. It is good that people are viewing your property & I am sure it will be just a matter of time. Maybe give it a timeframe & like others have said, could your wife & kids go on first? If you can get through this, you can get through anything. Good luck

Last edited by Sunshine111; Jun 28th 2011 at 5:42 am.
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Old Jun 28th 2011, 5:55 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Just a quick thought. could you not rent your home in Australia and live with her mum for a short time until you are able to rent a place in the UK?

Good luck with it all
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Old Jun 28th 2011, 10:32 pm
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Default Re: How do people deal with the emotions of a roller coaster of life?

Originally Posted by shelley748 View Post
send your wife back by herself- she needs to be there- don't wait until its too late....her Mum needs her support.....

think seriously about renting out the house at least to cover the mortgage....
I wish that my wife and youngest could fly tomorrow but its all down to money, my wife is the one thats in full time disability care for wheel chair bound people and i only have part time work, all our money is in the house and we dont have enough savings to buy two tickets to the uk and then have some money in uk to buy a car for her to able her to get a job in her profession in the uk.
Me and my eldest child could stay here until we can sell the house then we can meet up and get a rental in the uk when we get back.
We have thought about just getting on a plane asap but even if we rented our house here it would not give us any money to pay our own way in uk, i dont want to be a burden to my wifes parents or my own when we get back to the uk.
Im sure we are the same as a lot of people in australia, we live from week to week or pay to pay and it was only this morning that my wife and myself were talking while i was taking her to work about how we used to have food in the cupboards and plenty of food in the freezer, we seem to be living on mainly sausages or mince and the though of us talking like that brought it home to me and i felt myself filling up with tears.
All i can say to every one in a position the same as us, its not a nice roller coster of emotions
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