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How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Old Sep 27th 2011, 2:45 pm
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Default How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

I moved to America after my wife said we would move to England after 2 years. Nearly 4 years later and we are still here. Moving to America as been a disaster.

1. 2 months after I was here my wife had her purse stolen from our porch.

2. I have never got my green card and my wife doesn't seem to be bothered about getting one.

3. Met a guy who told us he had property on a lake and could use it at weekends and use his boat turned out to be complete bull after spending half a day looking for it.

4. We hardly ever see her family, probably 5 times a year. they live 5 minutes away.

5. Loaned our car to my wifes friend and she drove it through a red light into an oncoming lorry.

6. Losing our house due to father in laws bankruptcy.

7. Etc etc.

I have had enough I want to go back to England, I believe we will have a happier life in England.

My wife now does not want to go to England. her excuses are that the weather is not as good, she doesn't think we will be able to go on weekend road trips, she will miss her family (we hardly see them), she thinks I will be out with my large family all the time, she thought that England would be more like Agatha Christie (don't have a clue what that means).

I am torn between going to have a good life in England or staying in US where everything gets worse. Staying here means I never get to see my family/friends/home and I think my wife is being selfish knowing this fact.

I am ready to go back home in the hope that she will eventually follow, going home means I will be banned for 10 years from US for not getting my green card so there is no coming back.

We have two kids born in US, how do I convince her to move to England?
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 2:58 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Are you here legally?
No green card? Can you file for adjustment of status before moving?
Well you could always hold her to what she agreed, time to move.
But you can't force her.
Normally I would say get your citizenship first, but you didn't even get a green card. That would make it very difficult to come back if you change your mind.
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 3:02 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Maybe if she or the kids had a $200,000 bill for a stay in a US hospital? Perish the thought.

I partially understand your delima because I'm in the same boat. I have been married 45 years and I have lived in the US 55 years.

What is a green card?

Look at it this way, there are pluses and minuses on both sides of the ocean.

There is no Target in the UK

Where in the US do you live?

Cheers mate

Reminds me of the quote, "Smile things could get worse, so I smiled and sure enough things got worse"

Seriously, I hope things turn around for you.

Last edited by cheers; Sep 27th 2011 at 3:05 pm.
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 3:11 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills
Are you here legally?
No green card? Can you file for adjustment of status before moving?
Well you could always hold her to what she agreed, time to move.
But you can't force her.
Normally I would say get your citizenship first, but you didn't even get a green card. That would make it very difficult to come back if you change your mind.
Yes I am here illegally now, I came on a visa waiver and did not change my status in time. I did start the process and got a lawyer and passed the medical and that was that. When I complained about not hearing from immigration my wife got one of her friends to call me pretending to be from immigration and they were taking care of everything.

Nope, we don't have the money to pay the $3000 to get a green card and if we did my wife would rather spend $3,000 on other stuff.

I wouldn't change my mind, if I was to come back to live in North America it would be Canada. I would only be allowed back to US after 10 years.
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 3:28 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by cheers
Maybe if she or the kids had a $200,000 bill for a stay in a US hospital? Perish the thought.

I partially understand your delima because I'm in the same boat. I have been married 45 years and I have lived in the US 55 years.

What is a green card?

Look at it this way, there are pluses and minuses on both sides of the ocean.

There is no Target in the UK

Where in the US do you live?

Cheers mate

Reminds me of the quote, "Smile things could get worse, so I smiled and sure enough things got worse"

Seriously, I hope things turn around for you.
My wife and kids are insured I am the one who isn't, this wouldn't be a problem with the NHS. I live in New York. I have done the pro's and cons and I don't see a future here, I do in the UK.

Hats off to you, even if I lived the good life over here I can't imagine never going back home even just for a vacation.
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 5:02 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

from this post and others that you have written, no offense , but your wife sounds like a right proper piece of work....and it doesnt sound like she is ready to change, especially not for you, seems she has you right where she wants you , between a rock and a hard place...
id love to be able to say , f*** her and tell you to head back to the UK in the high hopes that she would follow you but it doesnt seem that she would do that, and if you did that you would have major problems due to not being able to come back over to see your kids.....
my advice is , even before you decide if you are going to head back over is to sort out your own immigration status here , and once that done , gives you a few more options to perhaps try a stint back home and see if she follows with the kids, and if she doesnt, allows you to come back over(as long as you arent away for too long that is)
good luck in whatever you decide mate
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 5:10 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by paulpur
from this post and others that you have written, no offense , but your wife sounds like a right proper piece of work....and it doesnt sound like she is ready to change, especially not for you, seems she has you right where she wants you , between a rock and a hard place...
id love to be able to say , f*** her and tell you to head back to the UK in the high hopes that she would follow you but it doesnt seem that she would do that, and if you did that you would have major problems due to not being able to come back over to see your kids.....
my advice is , even before you decide if you are going to head back over is to sort out your own immigration status here , and once that done , gives you a few more options to perhaps try a stint back home and see if she follows with the kids, and if she doesnt, allows you to come back over(as long as you arent away for too long that is)
good luck in whatever you decide mate
Your smart , you can see what is going off. I finally got her, well her Dad did (she doesn't listen to me) to go and see a therapist last Tuesday and she is going regularly now. Thanks
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 5:52 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Wow she had her friends pretending to be the immigration calling so you would feel it was being taken care of What kind of crazy is this!!
Are you sure she isn't hoping you will be caught and deported and she gets to stay here with the kids?
Did you get the kids UK birth registrations or passports to show they are dual nationals?
I can see all this ending in tears
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Old Sep 27th 2011, 8:03 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Why would anyone want to go to the UK with you?

You sound like a walking disaster area.

You are in the US illegally, but have fathered two children anyway (how do you work?) , lost your home and have little money by the sounds of it.

How can you possibly say that life in the UK would be any better - the economic climate and job availability is as bad as the US.

You need to step up and start acting like a responsible adult by getting your life sorted out.
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 1:08 am
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by SanDiegogirl
Why would anyone want to go to the UK with you?

You sound like a walking disaster area.

You are in the US illegally, but have fathered two children anyway (how do you work?) , lost your home and have little money by the sounds of it.

How can you possibly say that life in the UK would be any better - the economic climate and job availability is as bad as the US.

You need to step up and start acting like a responsible adult by getting your life sorted out.

What's done is done. The problem is how to figure out the best move.

Joe, I don't have any good suggestions, other than sorting out your immigration status first and saving some money. How old are your kids?
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 4:46 am
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by SanDiegogirl
Why would anyone want to go to the UK with you?

You sound like a walking disaster area.

You are in the US illegally, but have fathered two children anyway (how do you work?) , lost your home and have little money by the sounds of it.

How can you possibly say that life in the UK would be any better - the economic climate and job availability is as bad as the US.

You need to step up and start acting like a responsible adult by getting your life sorted out.

Are you kidding!

Joe B. if you need more items to add to your list (and these would be at the top of my list) try: health care, politics, paranoia, control, control, control, no jobs, massive debt, bleak future. Go home! Why the h--l would anyone want to go back there (unless they are blind, deaf and dumb).
I lived in the States, now in Canada. NEVER will I ever go back there to live. It's traumatic enough to go there for a visit.
It sounds to me that there may be some jealousy on your wife's part about your family; likes to keep you where she has the control.
I can just imagine the responses I am going to get but this is honestly how I feel. There are moves afoot that are only going to make the US an even worse place to be.
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 11:24 am
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Joe I feel terrible for you, what a horrible situation. I've read your posts and I can only imagine how powerless you must be feeling. You must be desperate to be able to support your family financially, surely your wife must understand that. Can her family talk some sense into her? It seems clear that the future for your family is in the U.K. Once you get them over there it will be difficult for your wife to take the kids back should your marriage break down in the U.K. But getting that green card has to be the goal before you leave.
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 2:39 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by drhewitt
What's done is done. The problem is how to figure out the best move.

Joe, I don't have any good suggestions, other than sorting out your immigration status first and saving some money. How old are your kids?
1 and 2 years old.
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 2:41 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by Mummy in the foothills
Wow she had her friends pretending to be the immigration calling so you would feel it was being taken care of What kind of crazy is this!!
Are you sure she isn't hoping you will be caught and deported and she gets to stay here with the kids?
Did you get the kids UK birth registrations or passports to show they are dual nationals?
I can see all this ending in tears
No she wants me to stay.
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Old Sep 28th 2011, 2:44 pm
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Default Re: How do I convince my American wife to move to England?

Originally Posted by bandrui
Are you kidding!

Joe B. if you need more items to add to your list (and these would be at the top of my list) try: health care, politics, paranoia, control, control, control, no jobs, massive debt, bleak future. Go home! Why the h--l would anyone want to go back there (unless they are blind, deaf and dumb).
I lived in the States, now in Canada. NEVER will I ever go back there to live. It's traumatic enough to go there for a visit.
It sounds to me that there may be some jealousy on your wife's part about your family; likes to keep you where she has the control.
I can just imagine the responses I am going to get but this is honestly how I feel. There are moves afoot that are only going to make the US an even worse place to be.
Yeah I think she likes the control and to isolate me and I obviously don't. Moving to England and she would lose that. I had a thought about moving to Canada and then we are both on neutral ground.
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