HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

We, my husband and I are going through a real bad time.:(
We have been in Perth 2 years. We are both very unhappy
We don't dislike Perth but I know my husband isn't as settled
as he makes out. I know I will never move to another part
of Australia because I know it won't make our problems
go away. I know I have changed due to the void I feel through
missing my friends and family.
He has changed because he thinks he no longer has to try
because he is all I have got...... that's how It feel anyway.:confused:
He does do a lot of DIY around the house which I help
but he does less for me then he did when we where in the UK
He has friends, well they are sort of my friends too but because
I don't drink I see them more has his friends. We usually go over
to their house every friday but for the last couple of months I have
been staying at home more and more because it really pisses me off
watching them all get bladed :curse:
If our relationship is taking a turn for the worst and wondered if anyone
else had any smiler problems and found ways to over come them.

I know my post isn't directly about going back to the UK but if things
don't improve then that's what the out come will be.
Thanks for reading:wub:
Kind Regards Msterio

Re: HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

Hello, i remember your first Karma to me. You said i must have a brain if i don't like Perth:lol: (my other name before i changed it)

I know where you are coming from, except i will have afew drinks, but not many. I hate getting pissed.
I find it mind numbing to spend nights in others gardens, we did that for a whole year, BBQ's every weekend etc. I missed the social life we had in UK, actually going out to different cities, staying in hotels and travelling about.
But, like you, i have got used to it all here and find that my life has changed. Not for the better.
So, we are heading back to UK hopefully soon, to get our life back to how it was as we realise we were happier there. Why can't you do that? Make plans, make a choice!

Re: HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

Hi Nu-Shooz
Thanks for your reply. Maybe it is because I don't drink cause after all if I did I could like them get pissed and talk bullshit all night and repeat myself over and over again then fall asleep or fall over:eek:
I know things have to change cause I can't carry on like this I need my OH to
realise what its doing to me. I don't know maybe a holiday over there without him would sort me out:thumbsup:

Re: HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

Have some {{{hugs}}}.

It sounds to me like this is a deeper disquiet than just being in Australia but being an isolated migrant is making the situation worse. Have you thought about counselling? Relationships Australia are great at helping you work through what are essentially relationship issues - ideally both of you should go so you can work on making things better together but if he wont go then you can start the process yourself.

The other thing is to make a real effort to develop your own support network, independent of him - have you got a group of girlfriends of your own that you can do things with, vent to, rely on in an emergency? If you are really "on your own" then that makes you vulnerable.

I hope you can sort things out so that you begin to feel better about your life one way or another!!!

Re: HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

Been there. Know how you feel :(

Moving to this place changes you, simple as. Sometimes it's a positive change, other times it's a negative one.

You say your husband isn't as settled as he makes out. Have you talked to him about that? Have you told him just how unhappy you are here?

I wish you all the best xx

Re: HOW DID IT GET TO THIS.....
 

Dialogue, conversation, do hobbies together, something and plan your next move, have a goal to work towards together.

Well, my husband and I have been very happily married halfway through our second decade but this last year here in Spain, he's been unhappy. His work is very high pressure our lifestyle is compromised here as our big executive home is overseas and company accomodation not fantastic. I should have put my foot down ages ago and taken him back home. Moving countries is stressful, think of all the things you give up, all the things you compromise on. Well, I didn't and I kept expecting it to get better, we're a team after all, right. Now, he's done the stupidest thing a man can do to a woman and you just never think it's gonna happen to you. Anyway, Spain has cost me my sanity and now my marriage. Must be the sun and the sangria. Someone told me when we arrived, this town's all fake boobs, drugs and affairs and I didn't listen.

Personally, I think you should talk about setting goals together or getting out together, before one of you does something that is really damaging to the relationship. Sorry to be a bit doom and gloom, just my take and experience of course.