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Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Old Mar 25th 2010, 10:37 pm
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Grayling View Post
I suspect this poster is one of our old friends
I suspect you are right...
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 12:26 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Yes I have lived in NZ for 4yrs (AUCK and CHCH),have dual citizenship travelled extensively in OZ and worked in Brisbane for a year. My Ex girlfriend of the time,in her infinite wisdom decided we should come 'home'.
I can't move from Cheshire as I'm in a dead end IT job,(mainframe engineer) which pays well but owns me. I'm an outdoors type and the frustration comes in when you try and do something here in the miniscule amount of free time you get. Either it's too difficult to get where you want to (every Joe Bloggs and Spit the dog has the same idea) or the weather is cack. NZ seemed to me to have the best lifestyle but I appreciate it has been 10 years since I left and my career choice will stand me no chance in the job market over there.
So yes I have seen both sides of the coin,and am probably one jump ahead of all you people so willing to slag me off at a moments notice.
Best of luck on those who decide to come back here,you're going to need it.
Sounds to me as if you're royally cheesed off with stuff and I know myself, that if your job is getting you down then everything else in life takes on a negative hue.

Think you need a plan! What would make you happy? Seriously! Think about what you want out of life and then make a plan to actually achieve it.

As a previous poster suggested, downsizing and down shifting might be the way to go or maybe just negotiating a reduction in hours to give yourself more free time. Easier said than done I know. There has to be a way through this for you and planning an escape route could just get you back on track and go some way to making you feel a little happier with everything.

Good luck.
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 3:58 am
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by J.J View Post
At the bottom right of the message you want to quote is a little blue box with 'quote' in it. Just click that box and a new message field pops up with the original message in it . then just type your message below the Quote message.
You can also edit the quoted message e.g. delete or add directly in the quoted message.
Give it a try, nothing will break.
oh look at that JJ i did it! Cheeky
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 9:54 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Nu Shooz,
Do you have this caustic manner in person as well as online ? I pity you if so. I'm guessing you just do it behind your big brave computer screen.
I was just trying to tell a few home truths,it seems my observations aren't in line with the 'gang'. Keep those blinkers on deluded people.
She'd tell you to your face....really if I moanedand felt like you do get the hell out of there....ruddy ell...life's too short..do something about it....you'd fit in really well here in Aus....you'd certainly match the "whinging Pom" tag, the Aussies would call you that in a blink of an eyelid....lol

Cheshire Karen....we all go through (well most of us) "what the heck are we doing"!!! I certainly have, but as you said you have answered your own questions...for us we have given 12 years of trying....really hard...just sometimes you should just go with what you feel..hard when your brain starts playing tricks...Aus is great for some and for others it can be "boring" etc nothing wrong with that...the world is full of different types of people...don't beat yourself up for feeling different from those around you...hard I know myself what that can be like...if you do find returning to the same areas is not for you...then try another area....just because you are returning does not mean it is set in stone that you have to stay in the area of your return...and as my Dad says..."stop worrying about things that might never happen (Which I do a lot of..lol) biggest waste of time unless you can see into the future".....I look years in front sometimes and that is just so not good...lol....take care and good luck....I am sure you will be fine....
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 10:00 am
  #35  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by quoll View Post
Have you thought of moving elsewhere in the UK perhaps? I just got back from a month in UK and must say that the people I interacted with and the places I saw were quite different, obviously, from the reality you seem to be living in. And apart from a couple of snowstorms the weather was superb, I didnt even need the down jacket I brought over from Australia especially (stupid though, could have got one in UK for half the price I paid for mine!!!). The weather did not stop me doing one single thing I wanted to do and there were a couple of days down in Cornwall where it was t shirt weather. OTOH the weather in Australia stops me from doing far more - in the summer when the mercury gets over 30 the last thing you want to be doing is being outside and breathing in an oven. It's a sad old life where you target your movements on where there is aircon working!

And yes, I would go back to live in UK in a heartbeat if it werent for a stubborn Aussie husband who wont move.

As the others have said, be a tad careful about judgmental statements if you havent been there and done it, you may find out the hard way. It isnt always about missing family and friends (though of course we do) it is about "belonging", sharing values, experiences, humour, heritage and not feeling like you are an alien all the time.

To coin a phrase from one of our ex prime ministers (generally never agreed with a word he said except this statement) Australia is the arse end of the universe! And I hope you enjoy the 4 weeks annual leave provisions and air fares so high that leaving the country takes you several years of saving, both money and leave allowance! (what was it about live to work or work to live????)
Glad to hear you have a nice time Quoll.......hope being back in Aus is not to bad for you.....before you know it you will be counting down to your next holiday.......take care
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 10:08 am
  #36  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Yes I have lived in NZ for 4yrs (AUCK and CHCH),have dual citizenship travelled extensively in OZ and worked in Brisbane for a year. My Ex girlfriend of the time,in her infinite wisdom decided we should come 'home'.
I can't move from Cheshire as I'm in a dead end IT job,(mainframe engineer) which pays well but owns me. I'm an outdoors type and the frustration comes in when you try and do something here in the miniscule amount of free time you get. Either it's too difficult to get where you want to (every Joe Bloggs and Spit the dog has the same idea) or the weather is cack. NZ seemed to me to have the best lifestyle but I appreciate it has been 10 years since I left and my career choice will stand me no chance in the job market over there.
So yes I have seen both sides of the coin,and am probably one jump ahead of all you people so willing to slag me off at a moments notice.
Best of luck on those who decide to come back here,you're going to need it.

We met a guy from the UK when we were in Malaysia last Chirstmas he was in IT (based near Liverpool) hated his job...blamed his environment on everything......was very depressed....a friend said to him one day...."nothings going to change unless you want to...but stop slagging off where we live as I love it and so do our mates etc"..so this guy realised it was him who was 99% at fault and he did do something about it....he is now teaching (no experience whats so ever) English at a school in South Korea....loving it...but he plans to head back to the U.K as in his words he now fully appreciates just what he did like and enjoy in the U.K and starting Uni in Sept. to become a teacher...this guy was 42..not a youngster...lol...had lived abroad in the past as well....if you want to sit and moan and blame your surroundings you will never be fully happy anywhere...you have to realise you have to want to change first....the easy bit is to blame things on others....
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 10:41 am
  #37  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Yes I have lived in NZ for 4yrs (AUCK and CHCH),have dual citizenship travelled extensively in OZ and worked in Brisbane for a year. My Ex girlfriend of the time,in her infinite wisdom decided we should come 'home'.
I can't move from Cheshire as I'm in a dead end IT job,(mainframe engineer) which pays well but owns me. I'm an outdoors type and the frustration comes in when you try and do something here in the miniscule amount of free time you get. Either it's too difficult to get where you want to (every Joe Bloggs and Spit the dog has the same idea) or the weather is cack. NZ seemed to me to have the best lifestyle but I appreciate it has been 10 years since I left and my career choice will stand me no chance in the job market over there.
So yes I have seen both sides of the coin,and am probably one jump ahead of all you people so willing to slag me off at a moments notice.
Best of luck on those who decide to come back here,you're going to need it.
Hi

The question to ask is would you be happy in the UK if you didn't have a dead end job and could get where you want to? If the answer is yes, perhaps you need to take steps to change your career and location within the UK. None of this will be easy but I suspect it will be more productive than lashing out at the UK as the root cause of your frustration.
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 11:07 am
  #38  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Thanks for those who took the time to reply in a positive way. I have hijacked this thread for too long now so will butt out,apologies Cheshire Karen.
Need to have a time out and work out some of this stuff,as you say life's too short.
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 11:24 am
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Thanks for those who took the time to reply in a positive way. I have hijacked this thread for too long now so will butt out,apologies Cheshire Karen.
Need to have a time out and work out some of this stuff,as you say life's too short.
Hey we're here to support you so just ask if you need us..
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 11:27 am
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Thanks for those who took the time to reply in a positive way. I have hijacked this thread for too long now so will butt out,apologies Cheshire Karen.
Need to have a time out and work out some of this stuff,as you say life's too short.
All the best mate,hope you find some happiness.You never know what might be round the corner!
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Old Mar 26th 2010, 1:43 pm
  #41  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Thanks for those who took the time to reply in a positive way. I have hijacked this thread for too long now so will butt out,apologies Cheshire Karen.
Need to have a time out and work out some of this stuff,as you say life's too short.
Take a few days off work - a long weekend or similar and give yourself some 'me time'.

Lists work for me - positives, negatives, realities and dreams. Write down something under each heading and see where it takes you.

You never know, it may just take you somewhere special or at least, somewhere better than where you are in your life just now.

Good luck!
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Old Mar 29th 2010, 4:14 am
  #42  
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Smile Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Cheshire Karen View Post
Well, it looks like the time has finally arrived! Hubby has an interview for all four UK jobs that he has applied for! (Hope I haven't jinxed it by writing this!)

Our UK house is now empty and ready to move back into. (low mortgage)
Our school of choice (local catholic school) and local council have been amazing and have held open a place for our children in the 2 years we have been in Oz!
Hubby's mum has a wealth of spare stuff for us while we wait for our stuff to arrive back from Oz.
Fantastic friends who care about our kids as much as we do.
etc. etc.

All boxes ticked, so why do I feel deflated one minute and excited the next?

I think its so much to do with expectation. When we left the UK, I was leaving for good for a better life and to go back will always feel like I failed a bit. Instead of thinking of the wealth of great things there are to do in Europe, I keep thinking of all the 'great' things we could do here with two little ones! I have some unexplained fear of returning to the exact same life we had when we left the UK. (Our life was good!) And have become fixated on the fact that we have a relatively small garden in the UK and a large yard here! The fact that we spend very little time in the yard here is beside the point. (Summer is a no no, hot, sticky and full of things out to get you!, then oldest at school, dark at 5 - 6pm) I think i am seeking justification, as to why do thousands of Brits just love Queensland and everything Oz and we just haven't settled. Am I the odd one out? I haven't even got the major reason most people go back: Family as an excuse.

Basically, I am so bored here!
Work is dull as
Don't seem to know many people who get me (Brits or Ozzies!).
I am over paying through the nose for everything
Decent education for my kids - don't get me started on that one
Out for yourself mentality
Sheer Blatant racism, sexism and acceptance of it.
Inane Barbecue party's
Hot, sticky and Air Con! (My hubby is addicted to air con - he lives in an altered reality - literally!)

Ozzies would say that's Queensland for you - may be case but I fear not.

I know logically I have answered my own question but trying to get that through to my numbed brain is another matter!

I have posted as I think I may have expressed what quite a few of you are thinking!
I know just how you are feeling, we have been in NSW for 2.5 years and are due to go back in July to our old home in the UK, I feel so bored also, hate the weather when it is so hot and humid, can never think of anything to do on weekends we are so bored with the beach!. I have been feeling very scared about going back, are we doing the right thing? and just recently i have turned a corner and feel really happy about the move, it beats feel dead inside with no metal stimulation. I feel like I am waiting for my life to start again, I think the one way to look at things is think how you would feel if you could not go back home, it would drive me crazy, so what is the point sticking something out just because thousands of brits come over each year for that "better Life". Speaking to the shipping agents a lot are going back at the moment and sending the container straight back on the next ship. I know when we get back we will miss parts of Australian life.
My view is when brits move abroad for the Better life and acheive it, it does depend on what and where you left behind in the UK, We have a lovely house in the country and quite honestly australia does not cut it for us, we can not really beat what we had.
I wish you good luck on your return and just remember that you did not fail you actually tried something, unlike most people who sit dreaming about this "better Life" that does not really exist for everyone
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Old Mar 29th 2010, 4:19 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by gaga View Post
I am over paying through the nose for everything'
Surely this was one of the reasons why you left UK in the first place ? Things definitely haven't improved in the 2 years you were away.

I have to disagree about this one..in the 10 years i have been in Oz the prices have quadrupled and have overtaken the UK.

Sorry havent worked out that fancy quote box..how do u do that??
spot on, most things are more expensive now in oz,
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Old Mar 29th 2010, 1:11 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

Originally Posted by Droidling View Post
Thanks for those who took the time to reply in a positive way. I have hijacked this thread for too long now so will butt out,apologies Cheshire Karen.
Need to have a time out and work out some of this stuff,as you say life's too short.
That's ok. I think you needed to get it off your chest. Interestingly alot of the things you say we have experienced in Oz and never did in Cheshire! Its so true what a lot have people have said that if your job is getting you down, it erodes into every area of your life.
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Old Mar 29th 2010, 1:27 pm
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Default Re: Homeward Bound.... at last I hear you cry!!!!

My view is when brits move abroad for the Better life and acheive it, it does depend on what and where you left behind in the UK, We have a lovely house in the country and quite honestly australia does not cut it for us, we can not really beat what we had.


How true is this? I also think it has a lot to do with where you are in life when you emmigrate? ie: job status, how old you are?, have you already had kids etc? I think you are willing to accomodate more when you are younger and have less to compare it to in the UK.

Interestingly, People have commented on how they had / have a bigger house in Oz etc. We must be the odd ones out, we pay 5x as much in rent on an early 80's very brown / beige/ wood effect 3 bedroom one bathroom highset (Nice!!!!) as we do on a mortgage on our 4 bed, 3 bathroom detached house in cheshire! At the current excahnge rate, we would pay more to buy the Oz rental than we would our UK home!

I couldn't believe it the other day that I paid $1.50 for one medium sized courgette (oh! alright a chuffing Zucchini!). I rang my pal in UK to compare and as I guessed, she said the same courgette would have cost 69p in UK! that courgette pushed me over the edge!!!

Ok, you earn more in Oz but my you surely do pay for this Tropical Paradise!
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