vh3

So... after a number of years of having the will we or wont we return to the UK, hubby and I are finally on the same page.... I have read Caroline in Arizona posts for sometime now and travelled with her on her return to Scotland. This journey won't be easy but it will finally give us a sense of belonging. We have spent the last 25 years in Canada and although enjoyed our time here there was always something missing. Finally the light bulb went on and it is family. When we started this conversation in 2018 weather was very important to us. We seriously looked at Spain, ruled that out due to language and then Norfolk which would afford us better climate and be nearer home. After all this, hubby decided he wasn't ready to leave Canada, so we stayed and decided to make that home. We retired to a lovely part (Okanagan) which is blessed with wonderful weather and wineries and you know what, it still isn't home.

Last weekend we had a heart to heart and have now decided to return to Scotland. Where, we are not sure yet but we have lots of time to decide. We wont go back until next Spring/Summer so that we can get our affairs in order as well as the hope COVID that is a little more under control. We will rent for a year and take a good look round. No matter where we settle we will be close to family and friends. Have others gone through this mental torture of deciding, do you stay or go?

Helen1964

For me it was an easier decision because it was driven by very practical considerations. Much as I enjoy living in France my husband can’t/won’t learn the language to the level needed to be able to cope with French admin. Like everywhere else, much of the business of everyday life is now conducted on the phone or - increasingly - online so the days when you could simply go to an office and make yourself understood to officials/sales staff in person are almost gone.
We don’t have kids and if something were to happen to me, he would be left floundering.
So we’ll move back in a few years but hopefully spend a few months in France every year. As tourists.
Good luck with your move.

verystormy

We returned from Australia in 2016 after a couple of years of it coming up occaisionally. Once we made the decision, we made the move in less than a week. We are in Scotland and no regrets.

brits1

After 7 years of exploring and having a good lifestyle in Australia we just did not feel like it was home, we just kept going with the flow and one day we really hoped we'd wake up and Australia would feel like home but it never happened so we decided to start a plan to move back home to England after 12 years in Australia and finally after nearly 14 years we we're all back home in England we moved back in 2010 and it's just lovely to feel like it is "home" we have fond memories of Australia. Good luck with your decision.

vh3

Like us, we have no family and while that was not a concern (we were young'ish and enjoyed every moment) as we are now retired I want to be closer to my siblings and their families. Friends are wonderful but not the same. I have known for a long time that if anything happened to hubby I would not stay here therefore we may as well enjoy like now, back home.

vh3

If you don't mind me asking - which part of Scotland did you settle in? Great to hear you have no regrets.

vh3

Love your description of going with the flow... that is exactly how I feel. I have never been able to sum it up before but that is perfect. We will never regret moving or having the wonderful experiences that we have had but...

scilly

The only thing I would say is to be absolutely sure that you can live in Scotland, that you are not just moving back only to find out that you are as unsettled as here.

We had a couple of friends, very happy in Ontario, had 3 children one of whom was murdered when she was 16/17 years old. I'm not sure whether this last fact had any real affect on what happened.

Their other 2 children moved to the UK to university and jobs, and our friends decided to move back when they retired. All plans made, and then they decided to go back for 6 months, live in a rental place (actually a lovely co9nverted barn in a nice area, central to both kids and friends) while they looked around to find a new home.

They came back here, and said "England is no longer home. Home is here".

They had found that they had grown away from friends, were welcome to visi8t for short periods on holidays, but living back there made a very big difference in how they were received.
They eventually decided to stay in their house in Ontario, but spend long holidays a couple of times a year in England.

The wife died about 10 years ago, the husband is still here although he moved to another smaller town, and bought a town house. He still goes back to the UK frequently to see the 2 children and grandchildren, but he also spends time in Florida, Mexico, or wherever.

I've always thought the moral to this story, is to go back for a LONG visit before you sell up here, and see what it is like to be with your friends and even family all the time.

vh3

That is really good food for thought about making sure it is what we want and also how we will fit in once more, Luckily we are quite independent so will live close but not too close to family and friends. I wonder if many others have made the move back home and had regrets?

brits1

It's a good way of thinking but a long stay is just that as in the back of your mind it willi be " just a stay" .. well that's my experience anyway

vh3

I think for us we are all or nothing people. I know I wont settle if we decided on a long stay rather than going with the attitude of making it home, once more. As the days have progressed we are now more sure than ever that we will leave Canada and make our way back across the pond. We wont leave until next Spring as that will be the best time for us to sell and to give the COVID situation a chance to get under control

dougal03

After 4 decades of living in Europe where I had a business with my Scottish born spouse(now dead) & then we retired,I reluctantly returned to Scotland in February.My Scottish daughter suddenly died a few years ago & then came Brexit,a referendum so many hundreds of ex-pats. living in the EU were denied a vote in by our own British Govn.But most of us still kept on believing that Brexit wouldn´t happen.Our lives became more & more fretful,living on the edge between all the constant changes,in fact that is still happening.Eventually I threw in the towel as I had no relative left in that country & the pandemic was another hurdle.My only relatives were all in England but ,although English by birth,I chose to live in Scotland where I had previously lived in the70´s.Brits1 is quite right in saying "a stay is just a stay".Obviously I had been back,mostly visiting England,for holidays but I can assure you that actually living here in your own property is very different.For me it is a cultural shock but I did live abroad in a small town mostly surrounded by German,Dutch & Scandinavians who expected high quality lifestyle from which we other Nationals all benefited.However,I have a small apartment in a nice seaside town with very pleasant people.I just find it is like going back to living in the 1960/70´s almost,throughout the UK,not just in this small part.People actually still put out individual rubbish bins each week on various days,not only a hazard for Mothers with prams but anyone with a mobility problem.The buses have one door at the front,no lowering step or ramp for(again)Mothers or elderly with a walking frame& there is only a small area to park them once you have negotiated that .No ID cards so endless questions to register with a Doctor or arrange your Council tax etc.And don´t try giving previous foreign addresses which are needed to verify that you are not money laundering when arranging a Bank account(or changing address details for your pension)with the DWP as it appears the machine cannot cope with a longish foreign one.Eventually I will adapt because I must but the one thing I cannot accept is the hostility towards each other between the 4 countries of the UK.United Kingdom we are not.I am saddened but that is how it is,although of course ,I have been away a long time ,lived in a very multi-cultural society which is something I very much miss.

Helen1964

.People actually still put out individual rubbish bins each week on various days,not only a hazard for Mothers with prams but anyone with a mobility problem.

What an odd thing to moan about.

dougal03

Helen,I am sure that lots of people would find it odd but I had never had such an item where I lived previously.There were communal metal bins rather like a fryer in a fish shop only lower,situated at points throughout the town where you deposited your rubbish according to the type via a chute which went underground.They were emptied by remote control the whole chute put aboard a large vehicle at night/early morning, which didn´t interfere with traffic ,replaced with a clean one.Later the streets were power washed most days.I saw a neighbour here also put out a small bin labelled Kitchen Waste.This rather reminded me of my Mother in the 1950´s putting out a small round bin,separate from our big dustbin which was called"the pig bucket".Maybe though it was a regional item in Hampshire that collected edible waste to feed the pigs at the local prison.I also find it odd in UK that,despite children being taught metric for some time now,so many adults still use old ways even for the temperature of the weather.And I didn´t want to even mention our NHS which appears to be supported by youngsters & the elderly raising funds by doing amazing feats.

vh3

Dougal03 I am sorry you had a hard time adjusting to life back in Scotland. Once of the things that strikes me when we visit or at least the area we called home is in fact the lack of change. More houses yes but the people are the same, with the same outlook and doing the exact same stuff. I guess that in many ways is why we find it comforting. Travels have changed our outlook in life but alas has not given us fulfillment. May I ask, the home nations divide is that something directed towards you or is it just media and political driven?