bigmattE

So today is exactly 2 months since we came back home to the UK and as of yesterday, I am experiencing an environment crash of some sort. We went out yesterday and everything just seemed so crappy. Although I did not like living in America, I will admit that middle American suburbs are clean and spotless. The town we lived in had no dog poop on the street's or kid's running around swearing and OMG all the 15 - 20 year old'd who have kids and just let them do whatever. Seems we are a minority for believing in marriage. Yes America has plenty of teenage mother's but it seems far greater here since it is a smaller area.
Starting to notice that there is so much dog poop around and wannabe gangster's in their tracksuits with pit bull's. We are missing the speed of things in America. For example the health system. Although it is a fortune, you do get things you need. I have been waiting since start of June for a damn letter from the Neuro place to get my appointment. Can take up to 4 months!! BUT! at least it is free and there for all people of the UK.
We miss having a car. We decided to not get one straight away as the public system here is great. Now we are going to buy a car. It is a hassle without one.
Really starting to see why we left for America in the first place, but at the same time we can see why we hated living in America and came home. No country is perfect. Just having a sorta transition crash.

Karrie72

Oh dear...I expect you're experiencing the curse of the expat; having that knowledge and perspective of being in another country, of course you're going to look more critically at your new home.
That being said hopefully you are not tied into your present location or area. I'm my experience there are places like that but there are many beautiful and safe areas too.
I notice this about myself when I visit, that I get overwhelmed by people sometimes...there's just so many and such a variety, its a sensory overload! Here in sterile suburbia I hardly ever see a soul never minds hoards of humanity all over the place.

Karrie72

Oh dear...I expect you're experiencing the curse of the expat; having that knowledge and perspective of being in another country, of course you're going to look more critically at your new home.
That being said hopefully you are not tied into your present location or area. I'm my experience there are places like that but there are many beautiful and safe areas too.
I notice this about myself when I visit, that I get overwhelmed by people sometimes...there's just so many and such a variety, its a sensory overload! Here in sterile suburbia I hardly ever see a soul never mind hoards of humanity all over the place.

charleygirl

Bigmatt, where did you move back too, whatever you do dont panic and make plans to go back, read your posts about where you were before etc.
You will need a good year to get back into it..have you got a job yet? Be strong and maybe when you have a car, go drive out the the countryside for your night out, find a country pub...have a meal, fish and chips.. pint of beer..ah perfect!

Mallory

You biggest problem probably is not having a car. Once you get a car and get out and about you will forget about smaller differences. You weren't gone long enough for it to be hard to adapt. Think of the heat wave you are missing!

sallysimmons

I agree about the car. You need the freedom to get out and enjoy the country. And also, remember that this is perfectly normal. We've read these posts over and over again - after any big life change, first comes the euphoria and then the crash. The good news is that the crash doesn't last.

I think the best thing to do is forget about your previous life as much as you can (don't compare every single thing or you'll go nuts!). Just do one day at a time, build your new life, focus on what you have to do, and then one day, about 18 months from now, stop and evaluate how you feel. That's when you'll know.

DDL

That's the most ridiculous advice I've ever seen anyone give another person.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with him remembering - with fondness - the good things that he experienced in America. It was a part of his life experience. If he experienced good things there (which he did), why not appreciate them, smile back upon the memories.

sallysimmons

That's me - ridiculous. Or perhaps that's just a straw man that you're punching.

I've made several international moves and learned the hard way that comparing one life with another is always a recipe for disaster. I didn't literally mean he should wipe out every memory of his previous life (duh!) but that he mustn't compare every little thing - especially not so soon.

If I had done that when I first arrived here, I'd have been on the first plane home. (No free healthcare? No BBC? No history?) But of course those comparisons wouldn't have taken into account the good things that I would only discover with time.

I thought I was being clear, but I do tend to assume a level of understanding sometimes. I will try to be clearer in future.

Derrygal

Wow - you can be really blunt at times - do you realize that????

DDL

ME??? ha! You guys should hold up a mirror!

Celticspirit

I agree with Derrygal. Let's keep everything on a calm level. DDL is not a true born Brit and I think she cannot possibly have the same mindset as the majority of us. She does tend to overreact and maybe because she has a little guilt trip about her lack of loyalty to her native born country.

J.J

DDL has contributed much to the forum for benefit of people moving to UK, as has Derrygal and so many others. We cannot possibly agree with everyone's opinions, nor should we.

But Please, this is not a place to take sides and be judgmental of individuals.

Hopefully you will benefit from advice, opinions and experience freely shared in the forum by the wealth of diversity of all members and have a better return to the UK because of it.

Isabel_7

This unkind remark is uncalled for and hardly keeps "everything on a calm level".

sallysimmons

I agree that personal insults are not helpful. But then calling another person's opinion 'ridiculous' is probably not the best way to make friends and influence people

Posting successfully on an Internet forum means learning to ignore the people you don't like. It makes life much calmer for everyone - and that's why God created the 'ignore' feature

Mallory

The reason that most everyone on here likes DDL/Denise's postings so much is that she is so honest. She loves the UK, and she loves the USA. She tells it like it is, she doesn't sugarcoat anything. She has been on here telling us how she failed her driving test, how much she misses her children and grandchildren, about the fabulous tea rooms in the UK, the stately homes she has been to. I love all of her observations about everything - from the price of food, how to get car insurance, how to get a spouse visa. She is a wealth of information, and on top of that SHE IS SO NICE! Thanks Denise.