HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Hi All, just found this forum and would love some advice. We are living in Berkeley CA, have been in the Bay Area for 3 years and lived iin Japan for 3 years prior to this. Have 2 little kids and an American husband. I am having perisistant restless/empty/slightly depressed feelings and thoughts of moving back home to the UK but am feeling very conflicted. This place is very beautiful, the weather is lovely, the standard of living is great, people are very liberal and friendly, I have some great friends and I have mixed feelings about England and was glad toleave it. BUT I really miss the support of my family when bringing up these kids in a place which is so different from home in quite subtle ways. My husband is up for going back but I am so scared of making a mistake. What do you all think?????

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

ohhh boy what a decision lots of pros and cons for you...back home all will be there for the same reasons as you left it before however I know bringing up little ones is not easy wherever but it is nice to have the family support. I dunno but off the top of my hat if you did move back to the UK while the children grew/school yrs and you enjoyd your family (not being morbid but while you still have them, I lost my parents in the last few yrs and it's horrible) and in yrs to come you and your hubby could head back to the US...dunno just a thought :confused: good luck :)

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

I would go for a long holiday, do see what it is like back in the UK.

We move back, because Belgium is a sh..hole, but if I would live in a nice place with nice people...i wound not move..

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

We have lived in 3 different states in 3 years, and still know it's not for us :( We'er going home in 07. We want our Son to start School back home, thats top of the list of so many reason's.

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Well i am not the right one to give advise as i cannot decide whether to even bloody leave.......but what about family coming to stay with you from the Uk for longer periods to help and support you ( would that work)

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

hiya britvic yeah prior to moving here 4 long yrs ago we stayed on in the UK for my son to have the UK schooling, didn't want him in the school system here. Bye and as they say here...lol have a nice day now :D

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

lol issie that made me laugh....where are you located now??

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Hiya. I can really relate to your feelings. I also couldn't wait to leave England and am now here in the US with an American spouse and two kids. It really felt like an impossible decision to make when we first considered moving (back) to the UK.

Are you close to your husbands family? Having kids really changes things and my main reason for wanting to go back is so that my boys can be around my parents and their cousins. It's tough when marrying internationaly because one side of the family has to miss out. However, there have been a lot of problems here with my wife's family and my MIL moved to Arkansas. It devastates me that my mum can't have her grandsons around when their other grandma CHOSE to move a thousand miles away from them. So we are hopefully moving this year.

Have you visited the UK much during the six years you have been away? It has changed, but on the other hand it will always be home. There will be things I love and things I hate about being there again. The same goes for the US though. Unfortunately we can't take the things we love from both countries and put them all together. You just have to decide where you think you will be happier and concentrate on the positives in that place, not the negatives. It gets messy when one spouse is happier in one country and the other in the other country though and I just hope my wife will be happy in the UK. That is my biggest concern.

I'm assuming you were married to your US husband before your three years here, so have you got US citizenship?

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

I'm in the UK.....been in limbo for nearly 2 years about emigrating to Oz, hubby changed his mind a couple of times and it was me that was full on for it. Now we are ready to aplly..infact have just emailed agent and i am scared to death that i will be making the biggest mistake of my life......so as you can see not a great model for giving advise :D

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Issie, you have to look at your reasons for going. If your going to escape the UK then its likely it wont work for you because you will have the disappointment of realising that Oz has issues too plus you will be on your own trying to face those issues. If however your going for the life experience and adventure you will have a much more likely chance of making a real go of it. :)

Every Country has its problems but not many countries have the bad press of the UK which seems intent on making its citizens feel really badly about their home!

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Haye ladylisa you are so right...why do our (UK) press do that :confused: to sell their papers I guess :(

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Thanks Lisa for your reply.....i love my life here, i have a wonderful husband and kids, a great job, live in a nice house and have a very supporting family so i am not going to escape anything , it's something i have JUST wanted to do and i am scaraed to go, but scared if i dont go i will regret it.

I had another good chat with hubby last night and we are going ahead with the application ( i feel sick when i say that :eek: ) and what will be will be .....and i am going on an adventure with hubby and kids in toe :)

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Good for you, thats the spirit. I wish you every success :D

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

I know its so wrong. The press should be making its citizens have a sense of national pride. I'm lucky because my family doesn't buy into all that rubbish but my OH family are terrible. They are scared to say anything nice about the UK incase they should be struck down by a thunderbolt of lightening!

Re: HELP! So confused about whether to move back or not.
 

Your doing exactly what we did!! My advise to you will be to rent out your house.
I have been on this adventure for 2 1/2 yrs and I have fallen in love with where we are. We are still looking at returning though as I miss my family and the money we had! I would love to think that now we can rent out our OZ house as I have a feeling that we may become ping pom poms :D
I have never regretting giving the adventure a go but I do think that if I hadn't it would have been a major regret. Good luck with your application.