British Expats

British Expats (https://britishexpats.com/forum/)
-   Moving back or to the UK (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/)
-   -   Help needed - home or away! (https://britishexpats.com/forum/moving-back-uk-61/help-needed-home-away-686436/)

Wawa Sep 26th 2010 8:28 am

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by sallysimmons (Post 8877338)
How true. I was with a bunch of Brits last week on my trip back and some were complaining about this or that, but a friend of mine who spent many years in Spain, kept telling them 'you guys have no idea what you have.' Since she has been back, she has spent most of her free weekends touring the country, going to places she had never been before. She said she still marvels that the country has so much to offer in such a small space. Her boyfriend is a Brit who never left, but he has become much more cheerful and upbeat since he met her - he now really enjoys seeing all these places. He used to be a real northern snob, looking down his nose at anything southern, but now he's traveling to Bristol, Kent, London etc and loving them all.

Islandwoman, I hope your flight was smooth and that you are getting settled in. Can't wait to hear your updates!

I hear you Sal, its so easy to overlook and take for granted what is in front of your very nose. Until, of course, you have been abroad and experienced other (often worse) situations and the other side of life, thats when you realize what you want and where you can find it! Too bad that you have to leave first to figure it out :rofl:

Good that your friend's boyfriend has seen the light - all he needed was encouragement and someone to share the sights with!

Your holiday sounded fab from what I read on 50 & 60...hope hubby enjoyed it too :thumbsup:

dunroving Sep 26th 2010 10:50 pm

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by Stormer999 (Post 8870301)

Fascinating that only 16% of respondents think it is the responsibility of parents to deal with anti-social behaviour.

Therein lies most of the UK's social problems, IMO.

luvwelly Sep 28th 2010 7:38 pm

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by lillibethe (Post 8867229)
Thank you for your thoughts Picnic.

Not harsh just honest!

My feelings are definately heading that way. I feel a long chat this evening with the other half and plans to be made.

Thanks again

Back to lillibethe,
What are your chances of getting PR if you did apply? Where do you fall on the points for EOI assuming health is fine? If it is likely you would only be successful with a job offer then I think it would be a waste of time and money, given that he is out of a job in 6 months.
It seems to me that NZIS is sending you a very clear message that you are unwelcome with your current skillset. They are of course happy to take loads of money off you though.
2 out of 3 of you sound like you'd rather not be in NZ.
I'd say you are better off in UK on low pay than in NZ on low pay because of the high tax-free allowance in UK.
I like it here but certainly couldn't stay forever (too remote) - I have retained property in UK.
If I were in your shoes I'm certain I'd go back to earthquake-free UK.
;)

George Holmer Kenya Sep 28th 2010 9:12 pm

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by islandwoman120 (Post 8870582)
I know some of the posters live in the UK and want to leave, so they seem to delight in pointing out the worst about the country.

At the end of the day, being happy with were you live has nothing to do with sunshine or money or the price of a pint of milk/beer but about feeling like you are at home.

I have lived in Belgium and Sweden, both of which are often considered better places to live than the UK in these comparisions but if you don't feel at home, you don't. Presently, I live in Kenya and although I am happy to be here and will stay for a few years, it ain't home. Home is England and that is that. Ipswich or Colchester or Middlesborough in the rain is always going to be more home than Seville or Cape Town or Sydney in eternal sunshine. For me, but not necessarily for the next bloke.

When I walk down the road, go to a restaurant or shop, or go to the offices of an authority to ask about something, I do not want to feel like a guest, but like I live here and this is my home. For me, that is England. It really is that simple.

Living abroad is great for a while, see the world, broaden your horizon, learn languages and cultures. Yes, great, but home is home and I know that one day, the vast majority of people who have moved abroad will wake up and realise it is time to go home, and no quality-of-life survey in the world will change that feeling.

islandwoman120 Sep 29th 2010 7:52 am

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by sallysimmons (Post 8877338)
How true. I was with a bunch of Brits last week on my trip back and some were complaining about this or that, but a friend of mine who spent many years in Spain, kept telling them 'you guys have no idea what you have.' Since she has been back, she has spent most of her free weekends touring the country, going to places she had never been before. She said she still marvels that the country has so much to offer in such a small space. Her boyfriend is a Brit who never left, but he has become much more cheerful and upbeat since he met her - he now really enjoys seeing all these places. He used to be a real northern snob, looking down his nose at anything southern, but now he's traveling to Bristol, Kent, London etc and loving them all.

Islandwoman, I hope your flight was smooth and that you are getting settled in. Can't wait to hear your updates!

Hi Sallysimmons: I posted about my flight on 50s and 60s, but here is a synopsis. The two flights (Minneapolis to Philly, Philly to Heathrow) were uneventful, thankfully, and my friend was waiting at Heathrow to take me to her house, with my many suitcases. Including the carryon bag that was removed from me in Minneapolis as there was no more space in the overhead bins - the business class had filled them up! So away went my bag with my china and special glassware in it, and when I retrieved it in London, it was a lot smaller and noisier than when it had left me. So now I have a claim in to US Airways, as they insisted in taking the bag away to put in the hold, despite my protestations to the contrary. I will post about that adventure when I have something worth posting! So far I have enjoyed my trips outside of the house, although only today can I say that I feel rested enough to actually understand what I am doing! I took the tube to central London, from Ealing where I am staying, and then decided to just ride the tube for a while and see the countryside in Essex when the train came above ground. It was nice to see horses and farms that close to London. Then I came back west and got off at St. Pauls. I used to work there many years ago, and wanted to find my old office - which I did. Talked to the doorman about the many new buildings in the area, and the construction going on at the moment - too much, too modern for my liking. Sat in the Cathedral area and had my sandwich, read all the information boards, then later found the lane running behind my old office and went into the ancient church there - the minister was giving a sermon to himself - no one was listening, but I guess it was time to give the sermon and he gave it! Quite funny to see. I used the loo in the back of the church - if you get caught short in that area, it is in Foster Lane, there is only one ancient church there, and there is a courtyard behind the church that is open to the public so people were having their lunches in peace. The loo is in the small building in that area. Otherwise, I have no idea where to go as there were no obvious public toilets around! And you have to pay to go into the cathedral unless you go at service times, and it would be an expensive trip - not a penny any more. Costs £12 to go into the cathedral, unless you go for a service as I mentioned before.
I continued my tube journey by walking down the non-functioning down escalator at St. Pauls - that is a long walk. Especially with an arthritic leg :( Got the train to Marble Arch so that I could visit M & S - looking for a decent interview jacket, and a winter coat. They had lots to choose from, and I will make a trip back there if I do not find what I want someplace else. There is also a Clarks shoe store in the area - great selection, reasonable prices. I was amazed at the masses of people - only because I am still in 'Minnesota mode' and not accustomed to lots of people all going in different directions. By next week I will be more acclimated! It is now pouring rain and it has set in until Saturday, so I will be internet working more than on the go outside. Hope to visit Kew Gardens on Saturday or the next dry day at any rate. All the best to everyone from the UK.

sallysimmons Sep 29th 2010 7:58 am

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by George Holmer Kenya (Post 8883694)
At the end of the day, being happy with were you live has nothing to do with sunshine or money or the price of a pint of milk/beer but about feeling like you are at home.

I have lived in Belgium and Sweden, both of which are often considered better places to live than the UK in these comparisions but if you don't feel at home, you don't. Presently, I live in Kenya and although I am happy to be here and will stay for a few years, it ain't home. Home is England and that is that. Ipswich or Colchester or Middlesborough in the rain is always going to be more home than Seville or Cape Town or Sydney in eternal sunshine. For me, but not necessarily for the next bloke.

When I walk down the road, go to a restaurant or shop, or go to the offices of an authority to ask about something, I do not want to feel like a guest, but like I live here and this is my home. For me, that is England. It really is that simple.


For me it's also the feeling of being 'at home' with friends and family. Lots of people have told me that 'you can't go backwards' and 'your friends will all have moved on. Well, when I was back last week, our friends organized a dinner for us and it was just like old times. I know if we went home, we would pick up with those people as though we were never gone. There were actually some people there I didn't know, but it was far, far easier for me to talk to them than it ever is for me to talk to strangers here. There's nothing wrong with people here - I just don't have the same ability to chat comfortably with them. For me, being home is that feeling of being comfortable.

Islandwoman, so glad to hear your update and that you finally had some time to get out and about. It must be so stressful but it will definitely get easier from here.

islandwoman120 Oct 4th 2010 11:18 pm

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by sallysimmons (Post 8885219)
For me it's also the feeling of being 'at home' with friends and family. Lots of people have told me that 'you can't go backwards' and 'your friends will all have moved on. Well, when I was back last week, our friends organized a dinner for us and it was just like old times. I know if we went home, we would pick up with those people as though we were never gone. There were actually some people there I didn't know, but it was far, far easier for me to talk to them than it ever is for me to talk to strangers here. There's nothing wrong with people here - I just don't have the same ability to chat comfortably with them. For me, being home is that feeling of being comfortable.

Islandwoman, so glad to hear your update and that you finally had some time to get out and about. It must be so stressful but it will definitely get easier from here.

Well sallysimmons, it did get easier for me. I posted on the 50s and 60s thread a few minutes ago - basically I told about my positive experiences on the train to Taunton, and about Paddington station. Also mentioned that I bought my PC power cord and a UK power adaptor at Maplins - really easy to find and a reasonable price too. So now my electronic equipment is ready to be used. I am no longer suffering from culture shock, but am still tired from all the moving and packing and moving again involved with re-establishing myself in the UK. Each day is a new day, and I only take on one major task per day - no more USA type multi-tasking! I am still having to consciously tell myself to 'slow down' and to enjoy the surroundings. Can't get the US habits out of the girl just yet...

confusedenglishrose Oct 5th 2010 4:32 am

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

Originally Posted by George Holmer Kenya (Post 8883694)
At the end of the day, being happy with were you live has nothing to do with sunshine or money or the price of a pint of milk/beer but about feeling like you are at home.

I have lived in Belgium and Sweden, both of which are often considered better places to live than the UK in these comparisions but if you don't feel at home, you don't. Presently, I live in Kenya and although I am happy to be here and will stay for a few years, it ain't home. Home is England and that is that. Ipswich or Colchester or Middlesborough in the rain is always going to be more home than Seville or Cape Town or Sydney in eternal sunshine. For me, but not necessarily for the next bloke.

When I walk down the road, go to a restaurant or shop, or go to the offices of an authority to ask about something, I do not want to feel like a guest, but like I live here and this is my home. For me, that is England. It really is that simple.

Living abroad is great for a while, see the world, broaden your horizon, learn languages and cultures. Yes, great, but home is home and I know that one day, the vast majority of people who have moved abroad will wake up and realise it is time to go home, and no quality-of-life survey in the world will change that feeling.

Well said. I have lived in Europe, Carribean, Hawaii, and many states in the USA but nothing beats that feeling of being home in England. Sunshine you can keep it. And only when you have had it continuously do you understand that statement.

scotty1974 Oct 6th 2010 4:57 am

Re: Help needed - home or away!
 

At the end of the day, being happy with were you live has nothing to do with sunshine or money or the price of a pint of milk/beer but about feeling like you are at home.

this is very true, if you don't feel at 'home' somewhere you'll never settle properly, end of story


Living abroad is great for a while, see the world, broaden your horizon, learn languages and cultures. Yes, great, but home is home and I know that one day, the vast majority of people who have moved abroad will wake up and realise it is time to go home, and no quality-of-life survey in the world will change that feeling.
I'm not sure I agree with the 'vast majority' of people will realise it's time to go home. sure some people who don't settle and are homesick(the main reason I think people end up going home) will head back but I think the majority of people, emigrate, make a new life for themselves and don't look back. I left Scotland 11 years ago and have lived in New Zealand, Australia, am currently in Ireland and hoping to head to Canada next year but in the whole of the 11 years I've not lived there I can honestly say I haven't wanted to move home once.


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