ANA123

I've been in australia for 14 months, and though I struggled with homesickness on and off for the first year I'd never considered going back this soon and had promised my husband to give it at least 2 years before even thinking about the future. However, I've just got back from 3 weeks in england (my second trip back) and the minute I arrived I realised that I want to be back there, this feeling got stronger over the weeks and it was very difficult and emotional to leave again.
I dont dislike australia, things have gone well for us here, but the pull to go home is overwhelming. My husband has said that if i am that unhappy he will come back, but reluctantly so. We have a 6 year old daughter who is happy in both places.
Question, to those who have returned in particular, how does it feel to be back? Any regrets?
I know each situation is different, but if I drag my family home (my parents are also here and fairly settled) I want to be as sure as I can that its the right thing to do?
Any advice gratefully received!
Michaela

dunroving

So difficult, everyone is different.

Perhaps the best piece of advice I can give you is that if you do go back, don't expect to just take up where you left off.

When people on here say this, they often mean the UK has changed, but I mean more from the perspective that you have changed. You've been to Australia, hated it (or at least hated not being in the UK), and come back. Especially as your husband sounds reluctant, you'll have that to deal with.

Someone on here came up with a good way of putting it - look at going home like going to another country. You'll need to work at settling in, deal with trials and tribulations. If you expect life to just be the same as when you were there last you will probably have problems.

Many of us have been where you are, I wish you good luck.

ANA123

Thanks.
I actually like it here in australia which makes the feelings even stranger, but we were very happy in UK and came here for an adventure, not to escape anything.
I guess the sensible thing to do is sit tight for a while and see if it subsides, and at least wait the 2 years for citizenship, I just feel absolutely compelled to go back!
Michaela

scrawni

Michaela,

We have been back about a month now and have settled in very well so far. Like you I liked Australia and moved there for adventure, not to run away from anything.

We had other issues that lead to our return but understand where you are coming from. I supose that staying put for citizenship is the most sensible option but if staying makes you miserable then is it worth it? I am not saying don't stay and because your husband wants to stay you may have to to fulfill your promise.

Like you though, my husband wasn't all for moving back, he settled in really well to the lifestyle of fishing etc. It definately seems to fit most mens idea of a perfect life! Yet, we did alot of talking, and I mean alot, going round and round in circles for a while. We came up with a plan that suited the whole family, and as they say, the rest is history.

Do what you feel is right, you know deep down what that is, then make a plan and stick to it. Even if this is to plan your return after the 2 years are up.

Mandy

Kath

My experience sounds very much like yours Michaela, we went to Australia for the adventure, explore a bit whilst the children were small. We had a good lifestyle in England so we weren't trying to escape!

I managed to stay the full 2 years without returning to England and we became Aussie citizens last year, when I look back I made myself quite ill at times with anxiety and mild depression, I tried and tried to picture myself there long term, we lived in a warm climate, bigger house, mortgage free, but this just wasn't enough, I just felt a sick, empty feeling inside.

We've been back in England nearly 5 months and it's been harder than I thought to adjust back, but then we arrived in the middle of Winter!. My husband is now working, the children are happy at school, I'm starting college this week and I'm now feeling very happy, it's been a long time since I've felt this settled.

I still love Australia and we plan to return next year for a holiday, we will always keep our "close relationship" with the country, as the citizenship ceremony says! I just want to live in England at this stage of my life.

emmals

we are wanting to go live in the us......we are not going saying we are emmigrating....we are not saying it is for ever.......we are going because at the moment we yearn something new...a challenge.....i love england......yorkshire is one of the most beautiful places i know.......it will always be my home....i just need to see if there is other places....i know i love were we are going it is our dream.......but i will not be ashamed or emarresed if i come back to the uk.....at least in my heart i know i have tried to live my dream

Kath

All the best with your move to the US, go for it!

We have no regrets, I just didn't expect it to be so difficult at times, but then I'm a bit of an emotional person. Don't get me wrong we had some great experiences, we travelled all over Australia and met some great people. I put too much pressure on myself thinking I had to stay long term and of course we were free to leave anytime! We always kept the door open for a return back to England (best not to 'burn those bridges' as they say), everyone has warmly welcomed us back.

Enjoy your experience emmals, good luck.

louise4

hi kath, sorry you are feeling like this. i know exactly how you feel. the emptyness inside is truly heartbreaking. i could never put it into words but i read a thread (sorry i cannot remember where or who the thread was from) and the person was saying that infact although yes they had missed the uk, it was mostly their childhood, hitstory they were yearing for. well, sadly we all know that we can never get that back. feeling like you belong takes a hell of a lot of time and i think you need to clarify what it is you dont like. if it is truly australia then there is no other option if you are to be truly happy, but if it is just a mourning feeling and the feeling that nothing is quite as familiar as it used to be then give it time.

we returned and for the first 2 years said no way we were going back, we didn't like it. then we started thinking about the oppertunity we had dismissed so easily and realised that we had come back too soon.

try to stay until you can get citizenship. the worst thing that could happen is to come back, your visas expire and then decide you would like to give it another shot. i know this may be the last thing that you think you would do, but you changed your mind once, who's to say that you don't do it again.

i wish you all the luck in the world. keep strong and try to remember the reason you went there in the first place. remember who you are. not what you was.

louise

Kath

Michaela, I think the above post is for you as I'm (Kath) already back!

I would support what Louise is saying, we are so glad we stayed the 2 years for the citizenship, I'm sure we will be back to Aus in the future and at least we've secured citizenship for our childrens' future.

Merlot

Been there, done that with homesickness, horrid thing .

First thing get your Citizenship, not long to wait really for it and it gives you all options then, I got it and so glad I did as it gives me choices and I feel very grateful for that knowing the struggles others have to get the visa to move overseas. You never know how you may feel in the future, you might want to move back to Oz.

Such a personal thing moving back to UK, only you will truly know but I wish you well and do keep the Forum posted and keep asking questions because there are a lot of us at different stages happy to help.

M

jad n rich

I'd be the last person to offer useful advice we went back 14 months ago and despite finally making a firm decision to stay in OZ, ( weighed it all up, saw other bits of OZ, wrote lists analised everything) I am still not settled here, but I have to accept we have created some very big problems education wise etc to now go back.

So if I could say anything, if you feel this way, do it soon, get citizenship but go.

ANA123

Thanks all for your thoughts and advice.
It would be crazy not to stay the 10 months required for citizenship, also practically speaking its a very bad time to try and sell up too. I will stick to my part of the bargain and make loose plans to return next spring/summer. I think I'll enjoy my time here more knowing its limited.
Good luck to you all, whichever way you're going!
Michaela

Merlot

Glad you didn't discount us all as barking mad :scared:

Good luck with everything.

Merlot

welykuk

We actually like living in the US and came here because we got the chance through hubbys work to do so not because we'd thought long and hard about wanting to leave the UK.
I met another person from the UK who'd been here over 10 years and she said the first 2 years were the worst. I also have found that homesickness always seems worse just after a return from the UK (we've gone back twice a year) or when visitors from home leave so maybe when you get back into a routine waiting until you get citizenship won't be so hard.
Our being torn has been decided for us as our green card was denied.

wendy

ANA123

I guess its natural that homesickness is greater after a trip home, and I've experienced that on my previous trip and after visitors. This time though, whilst in the uk, I couldnt think of a single factor that is better for us in oz and whilst most things balanced in both places (wages, house, standard of living) the pull of family and friends is difficult to outweigh. I knew this may be a problem for me coming from a large, close extended family and a group of friends from school and was ambivalent about coming but decided to try it.
I have met some good friends here and there are people and things that I will miss, but I am unable/unwilling to disengage from my old life and relationships so will always feel torn here.
I dont in any way regret coming here though, and may return at some point.
Michaela