Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
Jun 27th 2009, 12:20 pm
#16
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Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
Yes Happy Belated birthday from me also as I've only just seen this.
I'll be interested to hear your 'survival' tactics whilst apart from your hubby. My wife and I shall be separated geographically later this year, could be up to 6mths
I'll be home and she'll be in Oz.
Best of luck to you, chin up.
I'll be interested to hear your 'survival' tactics whilst apart from your hubby. My wife and I shall be separated geographically later this year, could be up to 6mths
I'll be home and she'll be in Oz.Best of luck to you, chin up.
Jun 27th 2009, 9:55 pm
#17
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Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
Hi all,
Today is my 40th birthday!
I'm in Aus and hubby is in the UK because the work situation here is so dire that he got on a plane and went back to his old job on Saturday after spending 9 months unemployed, he's told them it's only for 6 months, he says he's not 'done' with Australia yet!
I'm not enamoured with the experience so far, although I wouldn't say it's awful, I'm not in love with the place either IYKWIM?
I've known that this isn't going to be a permanent move for quite some time, but we did say we'd give it two years to get citizenship (then the buggers moved the goalpost and now we need 4 years to get that
)
To top it all work is going a bit Pear Shaped on me. I'm supposed to be in Fiji on conference this week, but as I had a cold that couldn't be definitely diagnosed as NOT swine flu, the germ phobes said I had to stay put! I'm covering a Maternity leave and the girl I'm covering for has decided to return to work early. I don't know where that leaves me really. So I'm looking for a new job too now.
Our 17 year old has settled in nicely and loving it. As is the dog who just loves the beach and swimming in the sea....
OH has only been gone 2 days and the rental feels absolutely massive without him.
I've spent the day sulking and looking at flights, esp, when I called hubby and he said he was in Tesco, looking at a Finest meal for two... main course, with veg, desert or cheese board and a bottle of wine for £9! And he went for a curry last night that was really lovely! (HUH!!)
Maybe if my contract finishes and I can't find anything else, I'll go home for a few months until things pick up again over here.
OK, I'm done moaning now. I hope that you don't mind too much!
Today is my 40th birthday!
I'm in Aus and hubby is in the UK because the work situation here is so dire that he got on a plane and went back to his old job on Saturday after spending 9 months unemployed
, he's told them it's only for 6 months, he says he's not 'done' with Australia yet!I'm not enamoured with the experience so far, although I wouldn't say it's awful, I'm not in love with the place either IYKWIM?
I've known that this isn't going to be a permanent move for quite some time, but we did say we'd give it two years to get citizenship (then the buggers moved the goalpost and now we need 4 years to get that
)To top it all work is going a bit Pear Shaped on me. I'm supposed to be in Fiji on conference this week, but as I had a cold that couldn't be definitely diagnosed as NOT swine flu, the germ phobes said I had to stay put! I'm covering a Maternity leave and the girl I'm covering for has decided to return to work early. I don't know where that leaves me really. So I'm looking for a new job too now.
Our 17 year old has settled in nicely and loving it. As is the dog who just loves the beach and swimming in the sea....
OH has only been gone 2 days and the rental feels absolutely massive without him.
I've spent the day sulking and looking at flights, esp, when I called hubby and he said he was in Tesco, looking at a Finest meal for two... main course, with veg, desert or cheese board and a bottle of wine for £9! And he went for a curry last night that was really lovely! (HUH!!)
Maybe if my contract finishes and I can't find anything else, I'll go home for a few months until things pick up again over here.
OK, I'm done moaning now. I hope that you don't mind too much!
Here's some wise words that someone once told me that really helped when I was in a difficult predicament:
First, I would like to say that Fate/Destiny and Causality are linked. To me, fate predestines things and people, which is why people or outside infulences
of a person control your fate. I will explain how Causality and Fate are related in the next three paragraphs.
There is something we all known as Free Will. We all make choices by our own free will. But what about the outside influences and people around you? If you choose to drop a glass vase, it will break. If you choose to misbehave, you get punished. If you choose to give a tree some water, it will grow. If you choose to do as you're told, you get rewarded. The first two are examples of fate giving bad consequence and the last two are fate giving good consequenses.
If you choose to do something bad, like running into a wall; The laws of physics will punish you by making the wall hurt you if you don't break through it, since you did not have enough energy to break it. If you do break through the wall, the laws of physics will help you by having the wall break because of its weak structure.
If you hurt a person of higher power, he will have the choice to have you arrested. If you are not that person, that person's choice is a part of fate,since you have no control of his actions and he is giving you a consequence. This is also Causality, since your choice is the cause and the person's choice, or your fate is the consequence.
There are two types of apporaches in Psychology. One of them is Behaviorism, which is cause and effect & rewards and punishments.
The other is Humanism; the approach that each human has the potential to become a great person, which has free will. I believe that the humanism approach and the behaviorism approach go with each other because when you make a choice, you get punished or rewarded for it.
When the sun heats a meadow for a very long time, the consequence is that the meadow will become a desert. This is governed by physical laws, like heat and the plants withering. Human made decisions are also governed by physical laws, since the brain uses chemicals to think.
Last thing I want to go over is probability. Probability, to me, is nothing more than the laws of physics working. If you hold a dice at the right side, the right angle and throw it at the right speed, you will get a six. Same thing for flipping a coin. Holding it at the right side and right angle as well as throwing it at the right speed will get you heads. Also, the weather is said to be unpredictable. However, by measuring the sum of all of the factors that change the weather, it is possible to measure it accurately.
Fate is what happens when we relinquish control over our lives. Ask yourself these two questions. Who/what is influencing the direction in which my life is going? How do I gain more control over my life?
The purpose of the first question is to take inventory of what is controlling your destiny. This shows you where the reins are that you must access to steer yourself towards your goals. Once you get to a point where you are confronted with choices than you need to prioritize by what will give the best results. Steer away from goals with rewards which don’t justify the time, energy and risk of failure needed to achieve them, instead steer towards goals that yield satisfactory rewards. Remember that success is the greatest motivator.
The reason for the second question is to understand where choice comes from and what our goals should be. Other (non-human) species have very little choice but to follow their instinctual programming. We however have the capacity to understand what we are and what will make our lives better. This is what makes choice possible and therefore cultivating this ability should direct our goals. Once this is in place our possibilities grow exponentially.
One other point I’d like to make is that questioning our ability to make a difference in our lives is a self-fulfilling prophecy. By directing our attention away from what we could be doing we
leave no alternative but to succumb to fate.
The fundamental choice in any situation is to think or not to think. If determinism was a fact than thought would be pointless. The choice to believe in determinism is an attempt to evade responsibility for ones choices and actions just as choosing not to think is an attempt to evade the reality that reason is our method of survival and as such defines us as a species.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...=542822&page=6
I hope they help you as much as they helped me!
Jun 28th 2009, 4:46 am
#18
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
Jun 28th 2009, 4:47 am
#19
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,024
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
Jun 28th 2009, 4:49 am
#20
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
pmsl!
Jun 28th 2009, 10:42 am
#21
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Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
I stand by everything I ever said or wrote on this forum. It's still exactly what I think...
I am responsible for everything that happens to me.
I am not a victim, I am an adult. We knew the risks when we moved.
We paid our money and took our chances.....
I can choose to go back to England at any time.... as can you, but there are consequences. I never said otherwise.
Like I said I feel for you, I really do, but you can't blame everybody else for your situation, you have take some responsibility, otherwise you'll drown in self pity
I'm just sorry that you have to be sarcastic and spiteful. Still if it makes you feel better
[/FONT
We all know we can choose to leave our kids, husbands, pets behind life ain't that simple!
You've come on here for support and maybe a bit of guidance. If someone responded with unhelpful and condescending replies while you are at a low ebb and feeling emotionally (and financially) vulnerable then I don't think you would particularly appreciate it either.
I'm not in it for a fight. Just hope you've learnt something from this episode, that's all.
Jun 28th 2009, 4:02 pm
#22
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
AND I QUOTE YOU FROM LAST YEAR
"Your posts make me so angry, I am putting you on ignore 
You are a first class judgemental twat and clearly not that bright. I really hope karma comes and bites you on the arse and you remember your ridiculous and selfish words and sentiments when it does. Grow up!" 
I didn't post those comments on this forum, as well you know, an opinion was garnered on why the difference.
Seriously if you'd started that thread with your problem then I could understand your sentiments.... but I had no idea of your individual situation and the thread was based on a philosophical question, you were not the only contributor and you took it upon yourself to jump on my original statement as if being positive about my big move was a crime.
When I continued in a non-personal way, you took every line and made it personal, even though I clearly stated it was NOT personal.
Then YOU decended into name calling and promised to ignore me 'til the end of time!
Now it appears that you can't help yourself, saying that you're not in it for a fight, despite evidence suggests the contrary.
I'm sorry that it's hard for you... (I've said that before too) but do you really have to gain your happiness by gloating over my personal predicament, just because my values are different from your own.
"Your posts make me so angry, I am putting you on ignore 
You are a first class judgemental twat and clearly not that bright. I really hope karma comes and bites you on the arse and you remember your ridiculous and selfish words and sentiments when it does. Grow up!" 
I didn't post those comments on this forum, as well you know, an opinion was garnered on why the difference.
Seriously if you'd started that thread with your problem then I could understand your sentiments.... but I had no idea of your individual situation and the thread was based on a philosophical question, you were not the only contributor and you took it upon yourself to jump on my original statement as if being positive about my big move was a crime.
When I continued in a non-personal way, you took every line and made it personal, even though I clearly stated it was NOT personal.
Then YOU decended into name calling and promised to ignore me 'til the end of time!
Now it appears that you can't help yourself, saying that you're not in it for a fight, despite evidence suggests the contrary.
I'm sorry that it's hard for you... (I've said that before too) but do you really have to gain your happiness by gloating over my personal predicament, just because my values are different from your own.
Last edited by alipally; Jun 28th 2009 at 4:07 pm.
Jun 28th 2009, 5:40 pm
#23
(^v^)
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: North East Tasmania
Posts: 2,199
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
mmm lesson not learnt.. me still thinks tis a troll 
Jun 28th 2009, 5:52 pm
#24
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: cornwall uk
Posts: 156
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
come on guys we have all said things we shouldnt have lets draw a line under this and move on,I dont often have an imput in these forums but after reading recent posts I feel it is a shame as I have enjoyed reading both Rapsady and Apaillys post both have been informative to me,and I hope we have more of them
Jun 28th 2009, 6:38 pm
#25
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 3,521
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
AND I QUOTE YOU FROM LAST YEAR
"Your posts make me so angry, I am putting you on ignore 
You are a first class judgemental twat and clearly not that bright. I really hope karma comes and bites you on the arse and you remember your ridiculous and selfish words and sentiments when it does. Grow up!" 
I didn't post those comments on this forum, as well you know, an opinion was garnered on why the difference.
Seriously if you'd started that thread with your problem then I could understand your sentiments.... but I had no idea of your individual situation and the thread was based on a philosophical question, you were not the only contributor and you took it upon yourself to jump on my original statement as if being positive about my big move was a crime.
When I continued in a non-personal way, you took every line and made it personal, even though I clearly stated it was NOT personal.
Then YOU decended into name calling and promised to ignore me 'til the end of time!
Now it appears that you can't help yourself, saying that you're not in it for a fight, despite evidence suggests the contrary.
I'm sorry that it's hard for you... (I've said that before too) but do you really have to gain your happiness by gloating over my personal predicament, just because my values are different from your own.
"Your posts make me so angry, I am putting you on ignore 
You are a first class judgemental twat and clearly not that bright. I really hope karma comes and bites you on the arse and you remember your ridiculous and selfish words and sentiments when it does. Grow up!" 
I didn't post those comments on this forum, as well you know, an opinion was garnered on why the difference.
Seriously if you'd started that thread with your problem then I could understand your sentiments.... but I had no idea of your individual situation and the thread was based on a philosophical question, you were not the only contributor and you took it upon yourself to jump on my original statement as if being positive about my big move was a crime.
When I continued in a non-personal way, you took every line and made it personal, even though I clearly stated it was NOT personal.
Then YOU decended into name calling and promised to ignore me 'til the end of time!
Now it appears that you can't help yourself, saying that you're not in it for a fight, despite evidence suggests the contrary.
I'm sorry that it's hard for you... (I've said that before too) but do you really have to gain your happiness by gloating over my personal predicament, just because my values are different from your own.
You never learn!
Jun 28th 2009, 7:12 pm
#26
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: My happy place
Posts: 3,043
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
ooh a chickfight
'Bash on the 'ed with a plastic cup'
'Bash on the 'ed with a plastic cup'
Jun 28th 2009, 7:29 pm
#27
I don't give a damn
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: In the arms of my family. Heaven...
Posts: 4,980
Jun 28th 2009, 7:41 pm
#28
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Location: My happy place
Posts: 3,043
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
I find I'm better off with a foreign model, that way I don't know when I'm in trouble.
(you know that flying saucepans is a compliment in some cultures, right?
)
Jun 28th 2009, 7:50 pm
#29
I don't give a damn
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: In the arms of my family. Heaven...
Posts: 4,980
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
Jun 28th 2009, 7:53 pm
#30
Ping pong PoM
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 1,537
Re: Hello! Never thought I'd see myself on MBTTUK but....
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!! I am absolutely delighted with this afternoon's happenings
I've handed in my notice, I'm booking my flight home and I've emailed the packers to come and quote for storage.
Contacted an old friend in my industry last week, asking if they had anything going. They had a six month Mat cover back in Blighty, telephone interview just completed, Manager remembered me from way back, offered me the job!!!... Perfect .
Simple really, I found myself as a result of my decisions in a position I found uncomfortable... weighed up the choices on offer, took action and hey presto... I'm responsible for my own happiness....
Maybe this Karma thing is real after all....
I've handed in my notice, I'm booking my flight home and I've emailed the packers to come and quote for storage.
Contacted an old friend in my industry last week, asking if they had anything going. They had a six month Mat cover back in Blighty, telephone interview just completed, Manager remembered me from way back, offered me the job!!!... Perfect
.Simple really, I found myself as a result of my decisions in a position I found uncomfortable... weighed up the choices on offer, took action and hey presto... I'm responsible for my own happiness....
Maybe this Karma thing is real after all....
Last edited by alipally; Jun 28th 2009 at 8:13 pm.
