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Have I done *too much* research?

Have I done *too much* research?

Old Feb 26th 2009, 5:03 pm
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Default Have I done *too much* research?

I've been toying with the idea of moving to Canada for a couple of years. I wanted to go into it with my eyes well and truly wide open and fully armed with all the information, so I've done lots of research and also read my way through the MBTTUK forum to get a balanced viewpoint.

The thing is, I've well and truly put myself off going. Things like reading all the stories about homesickness, missing family and so on. And when I think of everything that's involved with moving abroad, well, my head spins and to be honest I've started to think 'oh I can't be ar*ed with it all'.

I have a friend who is also planning on going to Canada and she's done naff-all research. Well, that's not strictly true - she reads tourist books and looks at scenery pictures on the internet. She only knows what a TWP is because I told her.

When we have conversations about Canada, she's all enthusiastic and can't wait. Whereas I just seem to bleat "yeah, but what if ..."

She just waves me off and has the attitude of stuff it, you only have one life.

I don't know whether to admire her for her adventurous spirit or to think she's stupid for not doing any research. She knows nothing about taxes, health insurance, prescriptions, EI, CPP, etc etc. She has no idea what would happen if she lost her job, and she doesn't care.

So after all that research, I can't see myself leaving the UK. I like it here very much and have a good life. I had no real reason to go to Canada apart from I just fancied the experience. I think I'm happy with that decision, but I do worry that I'll be waving her off to a new exciting life, while regretting my choice.
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Old Feb 26th 2009, 5:14 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Until you step on the plane its all theoretical. Most people land in canada and head off into the sunset never to post here again. But not everyone.

Its as well to be aware of the issues, but you still have to try it to know for sure.

Personally I think you are likely to do better than your friend, simply because forewarned is forearmed. At least you have thought about your motivation for uprooting your life, now you can make an informed decision.

Nothing wrong with "just fancying the experience"...thats basically why I came here, the opportunity came up, so I took it. That was 11 years ago. Until you try it, you wont know if its for you or not Im afraid. Having said that, I knew next to nothing about Canada when I made that decision...

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Old Feb 26th 2009, 5:23 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Originally Posted by Chipbarm
I've been toying with the idea of moving to Canada for a couple of years. I wanted to go into it with my eyes well and truly wide open and fully armed with all the information, so I've done lots of research and also read my way through the MBTTUK forum to get a balanced viewpoint.

The thing is, I've well and truly put myself off going. Things like reading all the stories about homesickness, missing family and so on. And when I think of everything that's involved with moving abroad, well, my head spins and to be honest I've started to think 'oh I can't be ar*ed with it all'.

I have a friend who is also planning on going to Canada and she's done naff-all research. Well, that's not strictly true - she reads tourist books and looks at scenery pictures on the internet. She only knows what a TWP is because I told her.

When we have conversations about Canada, she's all enthusiastic and can't wait. Whereas I just seem to bleat "yeah, but what if ..."

She just waves me off and has the attitude of stuff it, you only have one life.

I don't know whether to admire her for her adventurous spirit or to think she's stupid for not doing any research. She knows nothing about taxes, health insurance, prescriptions, EI, CPP, etc etc. She has no idea what would happen if she lost her job, and she doesn't care.

So after all that research, I can't see myself leaving the UK. I like it here very much and have a good life. I had no real reason to go to Canada apart from I just fancied the experience. I think I'm happy with that decision, but I do worry that I'll be waving her off to a new exciting life, while regretting my choice.
Your friend is more likely to have regrets than you will. You are going into it with eyes open. If you end up coming back, you haven't lost anything and at least you tried it. Sometimes life is richer for stepping outside your comfort zone, and it sounds like it's your comfort zone in the UK that is currently giving you misgivings. Having reservations is normal, don't worry about the fact you are worrying.
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Old Feb 26th 2009, 9:42 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

I had done a mixture of reasearch and non research. So I understood about vacation time, and various other differences. But still liked to look at all the pretty pictures!

I landed in Aug 06 and haven't looked back (had a job lined up & that was it!). I understand that everyone's experience is very very different, but for me my big thing was I wanted to have no regrets. For all I knew I could land and hate every minute and be back to old Blighty quick as a flash! But at least I would've tried it and never had that "what if" in the back of my head.

At the end of the day all advice is subjective, it can only come from you. But for what it's worth that's my twopenneth
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Old Feb 26th 2009, 9:43 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

I think your friend is a nut. She's rushing in with her eyes closed. No preparation at all.
My advice to any friends I have about emigrating, anywhere. Make a list of all the things you want the place you are going to, to be for you and your family. Now first look within your own country and see what areas give you those things and move there first, it whole lot cheaper.
If you are moving for the sunny weather. Spain is a cheaper place to move too and no visa necessary and it won't take long to get home if you need.
People I know seem to think they are suddenly going to become educated millionaires in another country, Well if you are a shelf stacker in Asda in UK, guess what you'll be in another country? I don't get it.
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Old Feb 26th 2009, 10:19 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

When we were making the move to OZ we researched, researched and researched. I thought I had come with very open eyes. I expected to miss family and friends but nothing prepared me for how much. It's been so hard and everyday I miss something else about the UK. We have made the discision to go home. I don't regret my move, it has been an experience. If I hadn't have come the "what if" would always be there.

You can never do *too much research*. I think it's feelings that get the better of people. If you are prepared to feel homesick and you can ride the wave then things will work out. Good luck in making your discision.
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Old Feb 26th 2009, 10:40 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Originally Posted by Chipbarm
So after all that research, I can't see myself leaving the UK. I like it here very much and have a good life. I had no real reason to go to Canada apart from I just fancied the experience. I think I'm happy with that decision, but I do worry that I'll be waving her off to a new exciting life, while regretting my choice.
Given this, I'd say go. Or come, if you like, but we'll probably pass each other on the way.

It does depend on what's involved. Do you have a spouse or children to be affected? Do you think you can easily get work? Have you got elderly parents you might feel a need to care for? That sort of thing.

I'd do it on the basis you've put above -- for the experience, comfortable with the idea of returning in a few years if you want to, having some good things to remember and a broader view of life. Just because we move to another country, doesn't mean it has to be for life.

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Old Mar 1st 2009, 1:17 am
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

I don't know how you can do too much. You will still get there and discover stacks of things you haven't researched. Your friend is comfortable looking on the whole thing as an exciting experiment. May fall flat on her face or be swimming with the fishes in no time. The same could happen to you. No way of knowing. Everyone is different and that's what makes it interesting but neither of you are wrong in the way you're going about it.
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Old Mar 1st 2009, 6:56 am
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

I suppose you can do too much research into just about anything, and end up confused and uncertain, but I think this has a lot to do with different types of personality. Impulsive, happy go lucky, people probably make their fair share of mistakes but are more likely to shrug them off and get on with their lives, without a lot of agonising about whether they are making the right choices.

I tend to think about things, and try to rationalise them. I have to make a decision now, on whether to return to the UK or not, and I've come to the conclusion that it's a case of "just do it". It's not an irreversible, life changing, choice.

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Old Mar 1st 2009, 7:29 am
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

I think you have 3 basic choices that would fit with what you're thinking at the moment.

1. Do nothing. Stay where you are.
2. Just take a holiday to Canada (but I am assuming you've already done that or else you wouldn't even be seriously considering moving there.
3. Take an extended, working holiday there for say 1 year. Maybe if at the end of that year you feel like you'd like to live there permanently, then you could make that decision then and start working towards it, although I say that very cautiously because I do not think 1 year is always enough to know. If however you were 100% certain after 1year then maybe you should.

The difference between option 3, and just going on a "permanent" basis straight off, is that with option 3 you try to keep your life in Britain 'on hold' rather than permanently shut down. That means if you own a house in Britain, you should consider whether it's possible to keep it, and maybe rent it out while you're away rather than selling, especially as you would probably struggle to get a good price right now with the market being what it is. It also means don't close your British bank accounts, etc etc. Keep your options open. Depending on your job your employer might even be willing to give you a 1 year unpaid leave of absence meaning you'd be able to return to the job if you wanted to after your Canadian experience.

Now if you want completely unbiased advice, I probably am not the right person to provide it because emigration for me has proven to be a very mixed bag. Some very good experiences and some very bad. Overall though, if I could turn back the clock to 1989, there is no way on earth I would have left Britain in the first place.

It's still my home, and it's still where I should be. Moving back though is a lot harder than it might sound, for lots of reasons.

I think you are wise to have done your research. Whatever you decide, you should know that once you emigrate, life will more than likely become a hell of a lot more complicated than it ever was before. There's also a strong possibility (although it doesn't happen to everyone) that you will NEVER AGAIN feel totally settled and "at home".

If you're prepared to take those risks, then you might decide to go for it and it might or might not prove to be a really good decision for you. Make no mistake though, those are the risks you would be taking.

My advice to you, given what you have said in your first post (and I admit this advice is not totally unbiased, but it is given with your welfare in mind) is go for option 1, or maybe option 2.

Whatever you decide, good luck!

Last edited by backagen; Mar 1st 2009 at 7:37 am.
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Old Mar 1st 2009, 9:13 am
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

You can never know if it was the right or wrong choice until you're in hindsight. I think that's why so many people feel homesick. Even homesickness can be a feeling created by uncertainty, lack of closure, unfulfilled expectation and then you'll get feelings you never expected to feel. It's not really till you land in the meadow of feeling 'at home' in yourself, that you feel comfortable anywhere then you're usually ready for the grave. Hopefully before this you will have lived life a bit anyway. I wouldn't spend too long on these forums either, they can be misleading. Go with your instinct instead.

I would go for a holiday, just to get a feel for the place, although a holiday is far different to the reality of everyday living in a different country. You can't tell if you or your friend will succeed better just by researching because both of you will have different levels of adapting to different situations.

Just out of interest, how old are you?
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Old Mar 1st 2009, 2:52 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. Your responses are interesting and thought provoking.

Cricket - I am 31; Mr chipbarm is the same age (no kids, and no plans for them either). We're pretty content with our lot. Like I said, we were only going to go for the experience - nothing more. My friend is 37, and is moving with her husband and 3 kids. She says she hates the UK and her reasons for going are so she can find a better life: bigger house, more leisure time, better school for the kids. Maybe that's why it's a 'no-brainer' for her and not for me. I can't find a good reason to leave a content life... she's not so content and can find several reasons.

We all went on holiday to Vancouver and Calgary a couple of years ago and we have very good memories of the holiday. I know holidays are different - I did plan on another couple of trips before I made my final decision anyway; but making them research trips instead of holidays.

Thanks again, everyone. You're right of course, we need to make a couple more trips there - we have no hope of making a rational decision on the basis of one great holiday two years ago. In the meantime, Mr chipbarm and I had a chat last night and decided that while we're saving up for those research trips we're going to do a grand tour of Great Britain and see what this green and lovely land has to offer.

Last edited by Chipbarm; Mar 1st 2009 at 3:00 pm. Reason: spelling
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Old Mar 1st 2009, 5:53 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Originally Posted by Chipbarm
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. Your responses are interesting and thought provoking.

Cricket - I am 31; Mr chipbarm is the same age (no kids, and no plans for them either). We're pretty content with our lot. Like I said, we were only going to go for the experience - nothing more. My friend is 37, and is moving with her husband and 3 kids. She says she hates the UK and her reasons for going are so she can find a better life: bigger house, more leisure time, better school for the kids. Maybe that's why it's a 'no-brainer' for her and not for me. I can't find a good reason to leave a content life... she's not so content and can find several reasons.

We all went on holiday to Vancouver and Calgary a couple of years ago and we have very good memories of the holiday. I know holidays are different - I did plan on another couple of trips before I made my final decision anyway; but making them research trips instead of holidays.

Thanks again, everyone. You're right of course, we need to make a couple more trips there - we have no hope of making a rational decision on the basis of one great holiday two years ago. In the meantime, Mr chipbarm and I had a chat last night and decided that while we're saving up for those research trips we're going to do a grand tour of Great Britain and see what this green and lovely land has to offer.
I like that idea a lot. Even if you do emigrate, you'll have explored at home first.

I'm wondering where your friend thinks the extra leisure time is coming from. I suppose if she and her husband have long commutes and will be able to live closer over here. But otherwise, I don't see it. Does she know the difference in standard vacation time between Canada and the UK? I gather it's significant.

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Old Mar 2nd 2009, 8:24 am
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Originally Posted by Bevm
I like that idea a lot. Even if you do emigrate, you'll have explored at home first.

I'm wondering where your friend thinks the extra leisure time is coming from. I suppose if she and her husband have long commutes and will be able to live closer over here. But otherwise, I don't see it. Does she know the difference in standard vacation time between Canada and the UK? I gather it's significant.

Bev
No, they don't have long commutes. They both work a lot of overtime here - weekends, evenings - to help cover their mortgage, bills, and so on. She believes that they won't need to work overtime anymore in Canada - therefore freeing up more leisure time in the evenings and weekends. I think she believes that the cost of living might be lower and they'll get more house for their money.
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Old Mar 2nd 2009, 2:47 pm
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Default Re: Have I done *too much* research?

Originally Posted by Chipbarm
No, they don't have long commutes. They both work a lot of overtime here - weekends, evenings - to help cover their mortgage, bills, and so on. She believes that they won't need to work overtime anymore in Canada - therefore freeing up more leisure time in the evenings and weekends. I think she believes that the cost of living might be lower and they'll get more house for their money.
Then she really hasn't done her homework has she
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