Jay Bird

Jeez, George, I'm glad I'm not your friend!

Mummy in the foothills

Me too
Friends I think you can find all over but still the old ones are the best. Family? Irreplaceable.

trottytrue

George... When you said you have never had close friends I understood. My husband is very much like you he never needed anyone else but us his family. Myself and our 3 children. I on the other hand have always needed more I need my family and friends I think people who dont need friends in the long run are missing out

George Holmer Kenya

I think you are missing my point, I certainly would never on purpose replace a friend but what I am saying is that friends come and go. I had friends at university, we spent every day together but then I graduated, married and got kids and they were soon gone, other friends I have made through work and hobbies and then, I or them move on to other things and you lose contact.

I absolutely understand that you see things differently if you have friends that you have known for 20, 30 years. But then, again, I do not understand why you would move. I also completely understand what you all mean by needing family but again, for me my family comes with me. I have never liked or got on with my mother and I hardly know my dad. My wife's mother died years ago and her dad has seven other kids to be with. I have no siblings and although my wife has seven, they are all doing their thing and living their lifes. Even when we lived only miles away, we hardly ever saw them.

Now, when my wife and I are older and the kids have their own kids, that will be a different story, or so I assume. I will not, and nor will my wife, want to live far from the kids.

For me, moving abroad, and certainly emmigrating, is doing something to else, to go away from where you live. If I had enjoyed living in Sweden, if I had had lost of friends, things to do, a good job, a nice house, lots of family, would I have moved? Well no, why would I have.

Now, as I said, if you are the spouse of a person who gets a good job offer abroad and you tag along despite having a nice house, friends and family back home, then I understand very well how hard it is.

sunseeker12

Our experience is that we had a months holiday in the UK. After being there for 2 days we decided that we needed to stop dithering and get back. We are now in that process.

wanderer1970

We have been back in the UK for almost 4months after returning from Oz and still cannot decide between the two! As previously said no two countries are the same, both have good and bad points. Main reason for staying in the UK are really good friends and lower mortgage (but smaller house) pull back to Oz better lifestyle (camping,beach, parks etc) and weather. Have some lovely friends in Oz too but different social life, which not a bad thing.
My concern is - what will it take to make a final decision? cos I can't stay in limbo land for much longer .

J.J

Your choice is not necessarily a commitment for your life for ever more. Enjoy one place for as long as you like, then the other. (I'm not here considering that not so small matter of money )

PoppetUK

Brief reply from us and I haven't read all the posts. 2 week trip back in June from Perth to UK. Decided our situation was better in Perth. Returned and 6 weeks in I couldn't hack it and now we are back in UK and loving it. So glad we are here now. Kids in school and it seems more up our street. Weather hasn't been too bad. Loving seeing friends. Missing my mates in Australia but just hoping we can make it work here.....

crusheduk

I do not understand many of these posts...

You must have longed to leave the UK...so much so you took the almighty effort to emmigrate. Then what 1 years, 2 years,3 years...and so no you take a holiday back in the UK and whoooaaa...you are moving back it's a great place.

This reinforces my belief most peopel act irrationally on emotion most of the time.

Surely your decision to live in another country was build on a rock solid foundation.....Maybe not!

Good luck any way but my guess is most of you running back to the UK wil lbe moaning about it in 6 months time and thinking about "bailing out again..." The cycle wil lkeep repeating its-self

crusheduk

Crumbs how many times a day do you change your mind? Heads we are moving tails we stay..for now

reeni

Alot of people just gamble that it can't be any worse that what they have now.
My mom and dad decided to immigrate back in 1975. They flipped a coin where to try for -- Australia or Canada. Coin chose Canada. In 1976 they moved to Canada with a 5 and a 3 year old. I was the 5 year old. My mom and Dad still live in Canada and will never leave. They fit they - love it. My dad is a honorary grumpy old yorkshire man now...and he has not lived in yorkshire for 33 years. Some things never leave us. My mom is having emotional upset over the past 4 years because her mom is nearing the end of her life. My mom is miles away with little spare money to go and be with her in this time.

I grew up in Canada, when i married for the 2nd time, my new hubby and i decided that we should "explore" possibilities. We moved to the UK in 2000 (now whole family has dual citizenship) - It was great on a financial level- hubby got a dream job, we owned a house, money was fantastic! But things were not great on many other levels - My son was terribly ill. He crashed and was revived but it was a long year of recovery. I had 2 miscarriages, marriage was failing, the list goes on. Eventually I "needed" to be close to my family to heal. I was scared.

So off we went again back to Canada. That was in 2006, 4 years on and looking at everything logically - we are in the wrong country! So do we up and move again? Do we just stay? Do we take another chance?

So we all sat down and made a list of what we want now, in 5 years and late in life. Then we decided which country this could be better achieved in. We made our decision and are moving on. But people are judging us, and fine that is ok. But no one but me and my family know all the reasons and choices, so they often judge wrongly.

The world is a much smaller place now. - planes - IT - social groups! Where you live in the world has a much less of an impact now-a-days.

I say people need to be less quick to make off the cuff remarks. There is usually more to a story than you see at first.

Life is to be lived, to be explored, to be experienced. If we can teach out kids that - they will succeed too!

Jay Bird

Hi
There's no indication of where you live, but I'm guessing you've either never lived outside the UK or you have emigrated and settled with incredible ease and absolutely no doubts at all. It seems to me that you have little understanding of the human psyche. This forum is visited by people....actual human beings, who have fears and doubts and, would you believe, have been known to change their minds about things as their lives progress and circumstances change. I see nothing wrong in acting on emotion (which, by the way, is not the same as acting irrationally) which, judging from your tone, you scorn. We, as humans, have emotions; it's what most of build our lives on. I suppose you think that everything should be researched and analysed before action is taken; that's all very well, but certain things cannot be researched, as I have learned, as there is no accounting for peoples' behaviour and attitudes, which can be extremely destructive.

My own story is quite well-charted here, so I'm not going into it all now, but suffice to say the first time I lived in Canada I loved it, the second time I didn't settle at all (for various reasons). We went to Canada planning to stay "forever"; we came home almost 4 years later. I was asked a few months ago what my long-term plans are; my reply was that I don't have any, and I don't intend to make any. I take each day and whatever is throws at me and am, at the moment, happier than I've been for years. My motto: never say Never cos you just don't know....

Mummy in the foothills

You must have never lived anywhere else.
Not everyone plans for years and yearns to leave UK, sometimes a job sends you or a marriage happens and things just present themselves. Not everyone lived a horrid life in UK and went looking to move away and not everyone fits with where life drops them.
Don't be so judgmental, How nice to be so sure of all of your life decisions, I take life as it comes and hope for no regrets.
BTW, I have friends who didn't move far from home, just to Jersey and Spain and even the south of England, they too wanted to come "home" at some point in their lives, some have done it, others haven't.

sallysimmons

You must be very young if you think you can understand and look down on the motivations of a group of people you've never met.

Actually, we left England 21 years ago for adventure and to try new things. We had no beef with England at all - we just wanted to see the world and we were given the opportunity. Now we're older and our priorities are different. We feel like it's time for a new chapter in our lives. Our parents are aging and we'd like to be there for them. Our old friends have remained our old friends, but we miss them more now that we're older. And the bright lights of New York are not as alluring as you get older (not for me anyway). I love New York but I've been there, done that and now I look forward to the next stage of my life - in England, a country I have always loved but appreciate even more now that I've experienced alternatives.

How narrow your perspective is.

Potts

Sorry just had to add to this too......I see by some of your posts that you were looking at Canada in 2007 and now you are looking at the US, so we are all entitled to change our minds.

I wish you luck in your travels when you eventually decide where you want to go.