Lorac05

I never "longed" to leave the UK but in late 1988 a chance came up for me to come to the US and work. As I was in my mid-20's and unattached I decided to go for it and saw it more as an adventure and really only planned on staying for a few years - and then move back home. As it was I really liked it and really settled in and enjoyed myself - working hard and seeing many places on this continent - living relatively happily for 19+ years. Then 3 years ago in 2007 I was laid off and after making a huge career shift (high paid IT specialist with lots of stress to not so well paid massage therapist who has a lot less stress) I went home to the UK for a visit in April of 2009 and realised that it was time for me to return home.

I spent a good 6-9 months after I returned back to the US really analysing my feelings and realised it is definitely the right thing for me to do - I don't want to grow old here in the US with no family around (I'm unmarried with no kids). So I upgraded my apt and have just placed it on the market and am currently decluttering my life.

What I am trying to say is many people didn't run from the UK screaming - more they saw an adventure and went for it - that is as good a reason/foundation as any. Now they are ready to return home - for whatever reason - but it doesn't mean they are irrational or emotional - they are ready for the next phase of their life.

I hope wherever you are planning on moving to you get there and are happy. I was - but I'm just ready to return home - it's time.

EnglishRose15

I've lived in Aus for 15 years and each time I go home as soon as the plane starts to descend, I feel I am home and it's as though a weight has been lifted off me. However Holidays can be deceiving, because you are not in the normal routine of work, commuting, home, cook tea, EastEnders, bed (sorry joking about the EastEnders).
I like the comment about whether you feel like home when you are arriving or leaving. To me there is no comparison, that's why we are heading home next year - finally!.

Jay Bird

You know what amuses me about this business of judging someone negatively because they decide to move from one country to another? Because if the move was from say, Manchester to Brighton, no-one would bat an eye, and if that person moved back to Manchester no-one would start an interrogation as to why the move "didn't work" or call it a mistake whilst sniggering up their sleeves. People move all the time......some more than others, some further than others. It's called Adventure! I have friends who have never moved out of their 2 mile comfort zone....literally, and never even gone on holiday, anywhere. Now, I could make fun of them and say they've lived very narrow, boring lives; their lives have been very different from mine, but that was my choice.....I wanted more. So what's the big deal if someone moves a few thousand miles, then decides to move again? None. End of.

Couture

Have to agree. I look at my friends and family who complain that I am never 'home' because i tend to follow my sense of adventure and try new things. Ive lived in Glasgow, Inverness, Dublin and Mexico City over the last 10 years and there are elements of each I have loved and hated. Recently my partner and I decided that we will return to the UK to settle down and have children before too much time ticks by and I found myself having to justify my decision to my friends.

The concensus was that I was looking at the UK with rose tinted spectacles, imagining it to be all the things it is not, and that I remember more fondly than it really is. This would be a valid point if I had only ever lived in the UK or similar countries...but living in Mexico has shown me such a contrasting way of life that really, the UK really does seem to tick all the boxes now. And the funny thing here that some sceptics might not realise, for whatever reason.... is that you have to experience something to learn.

It isnt rose tinted glasses, it isnt fond memories, it isnt impulsiveness nor an overactive imagination - its pure, simple education. My partner and I are reacting to what we now want out of life and for us... all this moving around for work and adventure wont cut it any longer. Anyone who thinks moving back is, somehow, impulsive or fueled by confusion or 'grass is greener' is sorely mistaken. The effort to emmigrate in the first place is an indicator of the willpower and open mindedness of people...not an indictment.

Last time I was home to Scotland I hated it, couldnt wait to leave....but England will do fine.

MaineLeedsbloke

I have to say that this has been a fascinating discussion and has given me a lot to think about. As I said in previous posts, I really don't want to move back to the UK, it is my American wife who is pushing it. Next year I will return to the North of England for the first time in 11 years for a vacation to see my family and friends. Apart from the happiness of seeing my family and friends, I have no clue how I will feel being back and I certainly don't want to make a huge decision to possibly move based on emotions. In a perfect world, I would be allowed to take leave from my current job in NH for a few months and live and work in the UK for that time just to experience the daily grind so that I know what I am letting myself in for, as I am sure things have changed since I was last there.

lilybilly101

Love this post as it kind of reflects my own story. I wish you luck in your return and I will keep you posted on my journey back. I'm currently in the US traveling and have seen some amazing places. We'll be going home in the next couple of months and we're viewing it as an adventure and can't wait to see what life throws at us there! Good things I hope!

Celtic_Angel

I loved your whole post but this part is particularly significant for me...

I've been in the U.S for 15 years....I go through bouts of wanting to return for many reasons ...always this one preying in the back of my mind......lately I've been feeling like I want to return to the U.k and while the whole thing seems so overwhelming and expensive it's good to hear that in the end the upheaval is worth it for many people.

J.J

Yes, that is us too

erose67

I think, for me, the key is that I never really wanted out in the first place. I moved because I married an American and he got posted back here - I think, also, at the time I did that for the wrong reasons....getting away from a broken relationship that I was having a hard time getting over!

15 years on I'm well over that relationship, and the marriage! I'm settled with my partner and we have a beautiful baby boy.......and now with everything else in my life settled I've realised where home is. The U.K. is where I can raise my son with family, I can share with him all of the wonderful things I did as a child - yes, I'll miss the blue skies, big houses and great opportunities - but those things are no longer as important to me as the feeling of being "home".

I really agree with someone else's comment - you don't really appreciate something until you're separated from it for a while - I know life's not perfect in England but it's perfect for me and my family!

2passports

I've been trying for the past couple of years persuade my hubby on moving back to the UK (he's American and has never lived there), and we have gone on a couple of nice holidays to very idyllic places. Last time we did a lovely rental cottage in Dorset and then a week in Bath. I know that is not real life, and I am afraid that after all these years I have forgotten the "dark side" of the UK. In addition to the Cotswolds there's also Kilburn High Road in the rain and the roundabout at Slough, right? So I was thinking that before we make the final commitment we might try and do a house swap, so as to get more of a feel for living there and perhaps a less expensive way to spend longer. It's good to hear all the various degrees of confusion and indecision on this issue. It shows we're all just human and trying to muddle through. I feel like I'm in good company.

PoppetUK

We visited in June this year. Decided that financially we would be better off in Perth with a young family. Hubby started a new job and 6 weeks back into Australian life I was on the edge of a break down and we headed back to UK 10 days later for good. We had a couple of deadlines in the UK that we couldn't let go if we wanted to move back and I decided enough was enough that I couldn't do it out there. Now back in the UK and glad we moved back. I would never say I wouldn't move back to Australia but it's unlikely.

Good luck with your decision. I really do feel for you. xx

Gill123

Thankfully, we have finally made the decision to move back to the UK, so I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! The indecision was all consuming - thinking about where to live all day and mulling it over during the night.

Our house sold and we move out next week. We fly back to the UK on 12th Jan and can't wait to get there and put our life back together again.

As you say, you can never say never about returning here, but I can't imagine a reason to come back right now.

I've enjoyed reading your updates. Keep them coming!

ozzieeagle

Personally I've had 3 trips back to the UK that have contrasted with each other so much, that if I were inclined to move back there I would be totally confused.

Been in Aus since 1980, quite enjoy it here with my Aussie wife and 4 Aussie kids. First trip was back in 87... hated it, couldnt wait to get back to Aus... Confirmed my move to be with my Aus Partner was a good one.

Had no desire to go back to the UK but as parents were getting old decided best go and visit, with my Wife and 2 youngest kids circa 2003 a huge 14/15 years between trips... Well what a contrast, I thought the UK had changed for the better beyond belief, it was well kept, the choice was endless, it was progressive, affluent, everyone seemed a fair bit wealthier than the average person in Aus. Everything was so green and lush, people seemed friendly the whole kit and kaboodle. If I had been transported back with my family then and there I felt I would be as happy as a pig in muck. I was actually well gobsmacked about the place and couldnt belive how positively I felt about it.

Went back with eager anticipation in 2007, this time on my own. Things started to niggle after the first 3 days... There was the endless traffic jams, the rudeness in the shops, the miserable attitude of strangers. The hustle and bustle that I thought was so great in 2003 just started to grate on me this time around. Worst of all was the louts/kids on bikes hanging around shops, or chucking stuff at each other and generally being obnoxious at school home time. The Single 17 yo mums with prams seemed to be everywhere, which to me meant another generation of obnoxiousness was inevitable.

What seemingly sealed the UK's fate though this time around was the very thing I was looking forwards to. Which was to visit places I'd never been before. Chester actually, I was so looking forward to going to this lesser touristy place just to soak up the history that I knew was there. Again louts, these ones slightly older 17/18 YO's on bikes right around the old town, rushing at the tourist throngs riding and swerving at the last minute. The very thing I wanted to enjoy the most was ruined, not least by my fear that I was going to lash out and lamp one and get myself into trouble. Which is the way I spent the rest of my holiday... so damned annoyed at these endless little priicks that everytime I saw them being antisocial, around shops etc, I was dead worried I was going to thump one.

It could be that travelling on my own meant I had no one to sound off on, and I hold on to that as the UK's one possible saving grace, because I fear I'm about to close my mind and heart on the old dart forever. Which is sad. I'd hoped for a while there to spend some retirement time in Aus and the UK each year. I am now dreading and putting off any return for as long as possible, as to put the memory of the last trip behind me. For I fear that any trip back could seal the fate of the UK in my heart and that for me would be very sad.

I'm pretty upset as I write this, because for me a retirement dream has been smashed. Probably permanently if any future trip ends up like my first and last.

quoll

How sad! I have just had 6 weeks in UK and can honestly say that I wasnt once bothered by yobs. I had only one negative interaction and that with the BA checkin chick as I was leaving. I found people in shops and various odd places to be friendly and very affable, couldnt do enough for you most of the time. I had a ball visiting historic places and in every place, the staff were very pleasant and prepared to chat about the wonderful places they worked in. Not once was I threatened in any way, shape or form by louts, thugs or even visiting Americans (joke!).

I did score one monster traffic jam - well, it was rather stupid of me to try and negotiate the north circular in the first place at rush hour but to attempt it when France and England were playing at Wembley was really dumb on my part - however even then, there was no road rage, no cutting in, people accepted my lack of local knowledge and need to change lanes without nasty finger gestures etc.

I saw tourists and locals stop and cheer parades of returning soldiers with real pride and enthusiasm, I saw young people stand for older people on buses and trains and the support that was spontaneously offered when I was out with my tottery mum, who has serious mobility issues, was awesome.

I realize that not everyone has good experiences of the place but I go back at least once a year (twice this year) and regularly drive the length and breadth of the place (over 3000 miles this time alone and I didnt even get further north than Durham or west beyond Portsmouth) and have never encountered anything that has shaken me - certainly nothing that I wouldnt have encountered in Aus anyway.

I guess it is all the luck of the draw.

ozzieeagle

Only thing I can think of is maybe not having the Wife travelling with me, made me less tolerant and open to negative views. I'm really peeved as there are places I would really like to see in the UK. Like York and Durham and the Lake District.... plenty more actually... I've never been to Cornwall or Scotland either. The thing is the things I want to do, were quite tricky last time because of my traffic encounters and other issues.