Going home for indefinite period
 

I haven't been on here for absolutely ages 'cos I've been trying to work on my head and heart as to where they think I should be!! Anyway, after suffering 18 months of horrible depression and making everyone's life miserable with my moping, I've decided to go home with my daughter. My OH and son intend to stay on here in Canada and keep the house going and I will move in with my parents until I can sort myself out and perhaps look for a place to rent. It's a very apprehensive time for me right now because I'm going through all the usual doubts and inner conflict if I'm doing the right thing, but I've had so much feedback from lots of friends and family that this is the only way I'm going to get my feelings out of my system. I will see for myself if being back home is the right decision or wrong one. So, I leave Calgary on 21st June....Manchester, here I come!!

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

A very brave decision, but a necessary one by all accounts. Here's wishing you the very best of luck and I hope your journey home will give you some answers.

This emigrating malarky can be an emotional nightmare.

Good luck.

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

good luck! its always a hard decision..but, when you are there i'll think you'll know right away?

We are moving back this summer too, and have thought about moving back for ages...pro/cons/ etc etc...the only way i'll know for sure is to just do it!!!!

flyglobespan has some very cheap flights too.

keep us posted.

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Very best of luck to you

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Bloody ell !!!!!.............email me :sneaky::D

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Best wishes Ruby.

Not an easy position to be in, but i'll keep everything crossed for you anf hope it all pans out.

xx

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Hi there, I have just come back home - tho i only spent 7 months away (not long enough) as I thought i wouldn't make it for any longer and was tired living like a mad woman - every waking moment wondering where I should be living. I'm back nearly 2 months now and I was only back a few days when I knew I'd made the wrong choice. I've had 4 weeks of therapy and its all alot clearer now where I went wrong. We are leaving to go back in 4 weeks.

I think you'll know straight away where you need to be once you get back home. Its a wise move leaving a door open for you just incase. Wish we had of done that. Best of luck.

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

All the very best, Ruby! I do so hope it all works out for you and you and your family can come to some sort of compromise which suits you all. It cant be worse than the limbo in which you are living now, can it?

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Sometimes just doing something makes all the difference, regardless of the outcome. Best of luck - wow, you have just about one week and then your feet will be on British soil. I hope it all works out and you can get your head and heart sorted out.

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

...and me.....:eek:

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Hi Ruby, I have just gone back and read over some of your old posts as I am grabbing at everyone's experiences of making the decision to return home, as I grapple with my own! I just wanted to check in and say good luck for the trip - IMHO I think it's the right decision for you from what I have read, and I envy your decision now that it's fully in play. Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Exactly - and I think that is the moment that you have come to RM. My very best wishes to you - and all your family - and I hope there is some re-union (in whichever country) sometime soon.

Good luck Mrs :)

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Best wishes, Ruby.

I think others are right. Sometimes we have to do something.

Bev

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Thanks for everyone's words of encouragement and best wishes. :wub:

I am scared to death about going back on my own with the intentions of creating an independent life for myself and my girl, so to make it easier on myself, I'm looking at it like a very long summer vacation. I'll be putting daughter into high school as soon as we get there so that she can experience what it's like - she's so like me in that she's "romanticized" what UK high school life is like and I think it will be good for her to get to spend the last 4 weeks of school term.

I'm going through a right rollercoaster of emotions...one minute I'm looking forward to getting back there and "feeling alive again", not to mention how glad I'll feel to turn my back on all the things that frustrate the hell out of me here in Canada!!...yet on the other hand, I get anxious about the pitfalls I'll have to live with on a daily basis in my little town called Hyde, and the certain elements I consider to be a "good life" here in Red Deer. Honestly, the inner conflict I've been through for months and the feelings of real pain at leaving my son & OH behind next week at the airport have often had me contemplating suicide just so that I don't have to choose or rationalise my decisions (I'm sorry if that offends any of you but I have been majorly depressed for the best part of 18 mths and I can't control my thoughts on their worst of days!), but I don't want to die really, I just don't want to hurt anymore, that's all....which is why I've chosen to go back to the UK with the outlook of taking each day as it comes.

I definitely plan to log onto BE when I'm home (and get access to a computer!) and give you my accounts - good or bad!

Thanks for listening!
Ruby M x

Re: Going home for indefinite period
 

Ruby, I truly empathise with your situation. I am leaving Australia on my own in a couple of weeks to return to the UK for an indefinite period. I really have to go back on my own for a while to sort out if that is where I need to be as I feel I can no longer live happily in Australia anymore (have been here 14 years).

The truly sad part for me is that I am leaving my husband of 19 years behind and accept that this could be the end of our marriage. He does not want to return to the UK but I cannot continue to live in a country where I do not feel I belong and have experienced a lot of homesickness in the time I have lived away.

It is hard, but you have to do it, because if you don't you may beat yourself up about it at a later date and the feeling of needing to return to the UK will never truly leave you. As one of the other posters said "It is better to do something than do nothing'.
Be brave and be strong -you are doing this for a very good reason.