Is Going Home Giving Up?

Old Apr 12th 2007, 1:01 am
  #1  
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Unhappy Is Going Home Giving Up?

Hey Everyone,

Well I just don't know what's wrong with me at the moment but having been in Melbourne almost 4 years and never looking back, I now keep thinking about going back to the U.K. I've always missed things about Blighty but also remembered why we left and that we have so much more here (in every sense) than we ever had in the U.K - Good jobs, nice car, fab friends, great house and generally a very nice life but since my son was born last year I constantly find myself thinking about leaving Oz.

The irony is that we moved here so that our children would have a better life and I am sure that would still be the case. Our little boy has a great time here, a fab childcare centre and a wonderful nanny and lots of opportunities and prospects for the future.

On top of that, my parents are actually looking to move out here on a Contributory Parents' Visa as soon as my brother gets PR (probably early next year) and they are really the only proper family we have in the U.K that we'd see on a regular basis so I shouldn't need to worry about him not having family etc but there's still something that I can't put my finger on that makes me yearn for home.

I am trying not to focus on missing the silly things like 'Next' and 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' as well as pubs, history and culture, comedy, being a skip away from Europe and the friends we have back there as that's the sort of rose-coloured glasses outlook that gets people into trouble when reailty sets in. The reality may well be that we never see those friends or family that we miss so much and wouldn't neccessarily be able to afford trips to Europe all the time.

It's just so hard to compare things at the moment - we've been out of the U.K. for a while and I know we have probably forgotten how unhappy we were there (you tend to only remember the good things in retrospect) and I can't imagine having a better life than I already have and STILL I don't feel right! Maybe this is just because my life has changed and we are now a family rather than a couple - the last year has been pretty hard with no family to rely on when raising a bub - and we'd be even more miserable in the UK? I just can't work it out.

Add to that the fact that my husband has never been happier in his life and is thoroughlly depressed at the thought of ever going back to the UK to live (though he would do it as that's the kind of fab bloke he is )

Well, I am sure all the above are just the rantings of a mad woman and will infuriate many of you still on the hard road of visas and seeking a new life but if anyone has any advice - I'll happily accept it!
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Old Apr 12th 2007, 2:33 am
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

Originally Posted by emmahafryn
Hey Everyone,

Well I just don't know what's wrong with me at the moment but having been in Melbourne almost 4 years and never looking back, I now keep thinking about going back to the U.K. I've always missed things about Blighty but also remembered why we left and that we have so much more here (in every sense) than we ever had in the U.K - Good jobs, nice car, fab friends, great house and generally a very nice life but since my son was born last year I constantly find myself thinking about leaving Oz.

The irony is that we moved here so that our children would have a better life and I am sure that would still be the case. Our little boy has a great time here, a fab childcare centre and a wonderful nanny and lots of opportunities and prospects for the future.

On top of that, my parents are actually looking to move out here on a Contributory Parents' Visa as soon as my brother gets PR (probably early next year) and they are really the only proper family we have in the U.K that we'd see on a regular basis so I shouldn't need to worry about him not having family etc but there's still something that I can't put my finger on that makes me yearn for home.

I am trying not to focus on missing the silly things like 'Next' and 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' as well as pubs, history and culture, comedy, being a skip away from Europe and the friends we have back there as that's the sort of rose-coloured glasses outlook that gets people into trouble when reailty sets in. The reality may well be that we never see those friends or family that we miss so much and wouldn't neccessarily be able to afford trips to Europe all the time.

It's just so hard to compare things at the moment - we've been out of the U.K. for a while and I know we have probably forgotten how unhappy we were there (you tend to only remember the good things in retrospect) and I can't imagine having a better life than I already have and STILL I don't feel right! Maybe this is just because my life has changed and we are now a family rather than a couple - the last year has been pretty hard with no family to rely on when raising a bub - and we'd be even more miserable in the UK? I just can't work it out.

Add to that the fact that my husband has never been happier in his life and is thoroughlly depressed at the thought of ever going back to the UK to live (though he would do it as that's the kind of fab bloke he is )

Well, I am sure all the above are just the rantings of a mad woman and will infuriate many of you still on the hard road of visas and seeking a new life but if anyone has any advice - I'll happily accept it!

I think it will be alot easier when your family come over, i was speaking about this with another expat and we agreed how much easier life would be if you had your close family here with you. It would be like home again but you all in a different place.

I always said that it wasn't so much home i missed it was the people at home my support network I think if my parents came over to live i could handle life here much better but for me there is no chance of that happening.

Good luck with it all

kez
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Old Apr 12th 2007, 4:46 am
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

We have been in WA for 4 years now and to be honest we just can't seem to settle. I have no chance of my family coming over either.... My husbands parents come every year for a holiday. I feel like my children are missing out on their Aunts and Uncles and cousins and Grandparents. I feel like we are missing out on them too, we only get one family and we are here on our own. Is it really all worth it?! Sometimes I think it is.... I do prefer what we have here but at what cost..... It is a tough one.. We are looking to move interstate this year and see if we like it on the eastern coast any better. Time will tell!!!!

I don't think it is giving up I think it is doing what is right for you.
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Old Apr 12th 2007, 4:43 pm
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

You are not giving up, do what's right for you and above all be happy.

You arrived in OZ and enjoyed a few years and no longer feel the same. That's ok don't be soo hard on yourself.

Maybe you should go back to the UK for a holiday and see how you feel then.

Good luck in what you decide.
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Old Apr 12th 2007, 4:51 pm
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

Hey is this topic in two places?
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Old Apr 13th 2007, 2:00 pm
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

Going home is not giving up.

Moving abroad is giving up your familier surroundings, family , work, home etc.
Going back is taking back what you gave up thats all.

Dont feel guilty for doing what feels right, no one can tell you whats right or wrong only you know, trust your instincts.

I really wish I had as I would still be in the UK.

Good luck. xxx
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Old Apr 13th 2007, 4:26 pm
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Default Re: Is Going Home Giving Up?

I'm closing this thread as it's a duplicate of this one.

Please continue the discussion in the other thread.

Thanks

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