Bevm

I'm not sure if it's pinging, or ponging -- which sounds rather unpleasant! But we've decided to return to Victoria BC. I got a lot of help on here when we were coming back, so I thought I'd share the news and some of the reasons.

I know a lot of people who'd been away for a long time have returned very happily, but we've never really settled. We spent 33 years in Canada, which is most of our adult life, and it pretty well shaped us. We've enjoyed our time here and don't regret the move at all, but it still doesn't feel like home, and doesn't seem likely to. Our friends are scattered around England, so we visit but don't see a lot of them.

A few things bug us -- the media culture seems to assume everyone's into foodie stuff, pubs, and football. I thought Canada's obsession with hockey was bad enough, but at least there no one there expected us to care. As for foodie, I don't like the way everyone's assumed to be a lower class if they're not sourcing artisanal cheeses and organic quinoa. Or am I just tuned in the the wrong programmes? All our friends seem to be afraid to offer guests a lop-sided cake, or meat and two veg!

We've done the things we wanted to -- reconnected with old friends and family, enjoyed lots of European holidays and visiting historical sites in Britain. I never expected to be traveled-out, but I am. It simply doesn't appeal any more, and if I want sunny summers, Victoria has them!

I'm going to miss the brilliant on-line shopping here, which compensates for living in a very small place, and the variety of places that are so close to hand.


One of our reasons for leaving was finding Victoria sleepy, and Canada as a whole a bit of a backwater, but as we get closer to seventy, we're ready to settle back into sleepy, take walks by the sea and to the shops, and drive along fairly wide roads with slow, gentle traffic (remember, this is Victoria; specifically the Fairfield/Oak Bay area.)

We just took a trip back to be sure, and it's much the same. In particular, older people there seem very relaxed -- happy to go gray and wear boring, comfortable clothing -- but also ready for adventure. Renovating, even building houses, kayaking, hiking etc. Perhaps it's just who we know there.

Plus, we now have a grandchild. In Ottawa, which still won't be close, but it's a factor.

Has anyone else gone back in the past few years? I haven't been following the boards. I'd welcome warning of any wrinkles, but they might be on the Canada board?

NiHao

Bevm,

Sorry I can't help you with info on what it's like to move back but I wanted to say thank you for posting about your thoughts and experience it's so helpful to read this stuff.

How long have you been back in the UK?

You are far from the only "ping-ponger" (sounds positively rude) so hopefully there will be others who can share their experience of that with you.

Good luck with your move back to Canada and hope you get to spend as much time as possible with your new grandchild!

JaneAndKen

I am moving back to the UK in May 2016 after living in Canada for 30 years. Scared? Yes. I met the man of my dreams after many years (I am 63). He is a Brit. He was supposed to move here, but his health changed that and I am now going back home after so long. All the things that you say you miss about Canada I totally understand. I am looking at this as a new chapter in my amazing. I hope that you get to feel more settled. The UK needs some Canadian way of life things and I fully intend to bring it with me. Jane

TrishP

You just described Ottawa!!

Bevm

Good for you. A lot depends on where you live, I think, plus if you still have a lot of family and friends nearby. And perhaps it's good to avoid the more strident media!

Bevm

Really? It wasn't like that when I lived there. But here it's all over the media, so not a matter of where you live. Or I find it that way.

curleytops

You remind me of me as my story is similar to yours. A positive outlook and open mind for the future go a long way towards a happy and successful return. That one phrase in your post speaks volumes. Out of respect to bevm I don't want to hijack this thread so if I can help at all, please feel free to pm me.

Editha

English Maple also went back to Canada, but her experience in the UK was much less positive than your own, mostly due to difficulties with housing.

I don't relate to a lot of what you have written about the UK. If you don't like foodie programmes, why did you watch them? I don't, despite being a keen cook. But I do like the better choice of food here compared to Alberta. And I don't think food has much to do with class nowadays either. Canadians seemed to me to be much more obsessed with the British class system than we are, so maybe seeing class distinctions everywhere is just one way in which you have become more Canadian than British.

My OH grew up in Oak Bay, and if we'd stayed in Canada that is probably where we would have retired (if we could find somewhere we could afford).

Bevm

I don't, except Bake-off, but food comes up everywhere -- Women's Hour, the news, and even some dramas. "I don't think food has much to do with class nowadays either." I definitely have the feeling that it's overtaken other aspects in separating Us from Them in Britain, but we're each sensitive to different things. Perhaps it's just age. I find having familiar foods called "retro" rather disconcerting! What's wrong with a vol-au-vent?

Editha

"...food comes up everywhere...' It's definitely a good idea you didn't retire to France or Italy.

vikingsail

Bevm thank you for this refreshing, honest and magnanimous post. I believe your experience and point of view is something that is in a lot of peoples minds when considering a return move to wherever they hail from, certainly it is in mine. I will undoubtedly return to the UK at some point but even now don't know for how long. As I read this post I was reminded of a friend who has spent 40 years living here in the US and is embarking on a year return to the UK as a holiday type experience. Being retired his family are well positioned to do this. perhaps thats the best of both worlds!

I wish you happiness on your travels and return.

BEVS

Nothing. Nothing at all.

All the very best with the move back Bevm.

robin1234

I've been back in England for a year, on and off, and one thing I feel is that the whole retro and nostalgia thing is laid on a bit thick here. Part of it is driven by the media, of course every day is the fiftieth or seventieth anniversary of something. The food manifestation is good old English bangers, Morrisons traditional British ready meals, spotted dick and roly poly pud etc. etc.

Being a child of the 1950s, our food was of necessity poor quality, ersatz and unhealthy. Birds custard, puddings largely consisting of lard and sugar, sausages made of breadcrumbs and flavourings. Funny that we now buy these out of nostalgia, when all kinds of good food is freely available at a reasonable price!

Bevm

I suppose that comes from the anniversaries of WWI (ongoing) and Waterloo and Magna Carta in '15. I don't mind it as I like history. Watching the London Olympics was great, too. I don't know whether Canada has caught up, but being able to switch screens and watch some of the minor sports was lovely. I was recovering from an op at the time, so watched a lot of it. The NHS has been brilliant for us, but then the Canadian system was always good when we needed it.

For us, deciding to move back has been difficult because it's 50/50, but also peaches and potatoes. Complete differences in the plusses and minuses, and one person's plus is another's minus! We'd never return to anywhere in Canada east of the Rockies because of the winters. We did those winters for many years, and never again. We live in Devon for a reason.

We'll miss the history in England, and the variety as well as the European travel, but we've been doing less and less of both. I think we overindulged to begin with. Driving in most of England is no fun at all, but we used to zip up and down the motorways pretty regularly. Now the car stays in the drive. Canada is so different in that respect. We drove across the country twice, and in most places the Trans Canada hwy is empty. In Victoria outside of rush hour it's pretty tranquil.

We didn't have a home town to return to. We see quite a bit of old friends, but they're scattered around. Not many family left, and again, scattered. We still have a lot of close friends in Victoria, all nearby.

I'll miss BBC TV, though the big programmes will make their way over eventually.

As I said, I think we're just getting old and want a quiet life.

mariabc

Interesting Bevm what you say you now miss about Canada. I think we're now at the point you were when you went back. We're after the easy travel within Europe and being around lots of people. The thought of driving a empty Trans Canada Hwy has long lost its appeal and we need to go somewhere different to reinvigorate ourselves again. Who knows if one day we'll be like you and want to return for a quite life, but its not something we're planning. Was it always your plan to return here to Canada when you'd had your fill of 'home' ?