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Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Old Oct 1st 2019, 4:35 am
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Default Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Hi Everyone

I recently obtained my PR and finally made the move to Canada this summer July 2019. I had been going there on holiday since 2014. My PR took longer then expected but I finally made it. Me and the wife got married here (she was already a PR) and my dear daughter was also born in Canada in 2017. While I didn’t have PR a lot of money was spent back and forth on BA / Air Canada flights while my wife was pregnant.

Despite all of the above I am really missing home. We have some distant relatives here in the GTA but only see them from time to time. I am currently working 7 days a week which isn’t great. Furthermore it seems as though most of the basics are more expensive here then home. The dreaded car insurance, mobile phone bill , weekly food shop etc.

My wife will be eligible for Canadian citizenship in May 2020 and once that is sorted I just want to go back! Maybe it’s the home sickness but I can’t see myself staying out here away from my family , friends and beloved Liverpool! Furthermore my wife actually doesn’t have any family in Canada either but she likes her way of life and independence I guess.

I also made it clear to my wife that I wanted to use this year as a trial run and she would then get a citizenship and we would reassess. Thankfully my daughter is only 20 months so I don’t want her to miss out on seeing my family when she grows up. My parents , grandparents, aunties and uncles are all back home in West London. I also run a small franchise with my sister which recently got renewed for another 5 years.

Any tips on moving back would be helpful. I have already started looking at moving companies as despite being here for only a few years my wife has quite a large amount of items!

Thanks
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Old Oct 1st 2019, 3:20 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

If you are both British citizens, as it appears you are, you just up sticks and move back. Nothing complicated.

Get a British passport for your daughter.
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Old Oct 1st 2019, 4:00 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Thank you for advice. Yes me and my daughter are British citizens. I got her passport a few weeks after she was born.

Unfortunately my wife which complicates matters!
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Old Oct 1st 2019, 4:24 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Originally Posted by 20190974
Thank you for advice. Yes me and my daughter are British citizens. I got her passport a few weeks after she was born.

Unfortunately my wife which complicates matters!
Not something we can give advice on I'm afraid......
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Old Oct 2nd 2019, 4:05 am
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Not too worry!

Lots of thinking and convincing still to do. My wife isn’t a British citizen which complicates matters some what.
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Old Oct 2nd 2019, 4:43 am
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Originally Posted by 20190974
Not too worry!

Lots of thinking and convincing still to do. My wife isn’t a British citizen which complicates matters some what.

In which case it is not simple matter..... you have to sponsor her for a spouse visa before she can enter to live in the UK..... better read the following website

https://www.gov.uk/uk-family-visa

and see if you can meet the financial requirements:

https://assets.publishing.service.go...ment-ext_1.pdf
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Old Oct 3rd 2019, 12:53 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Thank you.

Looks Iike I may have to go back 6 months before the family and get a job to satisfy the sponsorship threshold.
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Old Oct 3rd 2019, 3:39 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Originally Posted by 20190974
Thank you.

Looks Iike I may have to go back 6 months before the family and get a job to satisfy the sponsorship threshold.
If your wife has British or European ancestry then she may qualify for other visas......
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Old Oct 3rd 2019, 6:58 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

You're in that classic culture shock phase too, so I would caution about rushing anywhere. Acknowledge that tons of stuff is just different - it's not right or wrong, good or bad, just different.

Even if a return to the UK seems inevitable, try to just enjoy the bits here that you do like, and absorb it as an adventure. There must have been something that drew you to Canada in the first place?

I would say that a job has a massive affect on your attitude to the country and the people and the culture. And working 7 days a week in any job, no matter where it is, is not optimal to find balance and happiness. Is that schedule going to change in the near future?
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Old Oct 3rd 2019, 8:19 pm
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

I've often heard said on here that it may take 2-3 years before someone feels settled.

You're only in the first few months. You are still comparing here with there or vice versa. Do please try NOT to do that, especially with things like cost of groceries, car insurance, etc etc. This is not there! Canada is a different country, in every way except that English is one of 2 official languages.

Have you really tried to settle down in TO? Not that is my favourite place in the country!

Have you considered how your wife will react? Will she go with you willingly or unwillingly? Will your going back mean the end of your marriage? You do say your wife likes her way of life here and her independence. Will she be willing to give that up to move to another country, or wait the months here alone while you get the money together to sponsor her for a move to the UK?

Why are you working 7 days a week? That isn't good for man or beast .............. nor for family life!
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Old Oct 4th 2019, 8:35 am
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Default Re: Genuinely missing home or just home sickness?

Originally Posted by 20190974
Hi Everyone

I recently obtained my PR and finally made the move to Canada this summer July 2019. I had been going there on holiday since 2014. My PR took longer then expected but I finally made it. Me and the wife got married here (she was already a PR) and my dear daughter was also born in Canada in 2017. While I didn’t have PR a lot of money was spent back and forth on BA / Air Canada flights while my wife was pregnant.

Despite all of the above I am really missing home. We have some distant relatives here in the GTA but only see them from time to time. I am currently working 7 days a week which isn’t great. Furthermore it seems as though most of the basics are more expensive here then home. The dreaded car insurance, mobile phone bill , weekly food shop etc.

My wife will be eligible for Canadian citizenship in May 2020 and once that is sorted I just want to go back! Maybe it’s the home sickness but I can’t see myself staying out here away from my family , friends and beloved Liverpool! Furthermore my wife actually doesn’t have any family in Canada either but she likes her way of life and independence I guess.

I also made it clear to my wife that I wanted to use this year as a trial run and she would then get a citizenship and we would reassess. Thankfully my daughter is only 20 months so I don’t want her to miss out on seeing my family when she grows up. My parents , grandparents, aunties and uncles are all back home in West London. I also run a small franchise with my sister which recently got renewed for another 5 years.

Any tips on moving back would be helpful. I have already started looking at moving companies as despite being here for only a few years my wife has quite a large amount of items!

Thanks
It seems that you have an awful lot going on in your life right now.. Am I right in thinking you only made the move to Canada this summer? You also had quite a new baby to adjust to.. Unravelling it all a bit.. Is it the case that your wife is neither British nor Canadian? ,but has lived in Canada long enough to acquire Canadian citizenship?. ( sorry just confused as to why you are even there ? )
You have more than a foot in two camps which is causing you this distress. Playing devils advocate I would say that you have to commit to one or the other for a least a decent amount of time. You cannot put this stress on either yourself or your family. Three months in Canada is nothing.
You are of course missing your British way of life, every ex-pat does, but you made a commitment to your wife and now your child.Its their futures that should be top of your list right now,eveyone and everything else goes to the bottom of the list.
I was also a very reluctant ex-pat wife.known in American parlance as a 'Trailing Spouse' I didn't want to go live in the Netherlands ,My OH worked long hours and ironically his job took him abroad more often than not ,so I was left alone with two very young kids. in a place I disliked with a language I couldn't speak.I had to make a decision in the end and commit to being there ,otherwise the rows would have destroyed my family. I gave it two years, which then expanded to five years as his job prospects grew. We ended up living there for 30 +yrs. It was excellent for his career, outstanding for our daughters education and lifestyles..Never ideal for me.but I understood and appreciated the chances it had given my family . Thats what its all about.now for you. your daughters future.
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